the things in the (_) are just comments that I was thinking for the most part. here i go...
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I turned from side to side, looking for help. Through the rain and cold, I sat there by the river, her blood seeping through my clothes and into the rushing river where I swear that girl stood moments ago.
"Mom?" I said. She couldn't be gone. She can't leave. I watched her lifeless form, felt cold sink in.
"No. Nonononononononono. NO!" I screamed it as loud as I could. I looked up to the dreary sky, tears running down my face. Eventually people stopped and helped me, but until then, I was as alone as I could be. As I am now.
I lifted my head up suddenly. It wasn't uncommon for me to dream about her, but this one felt too real. I realized that I still had my light on, and my clothes also. I was still sitting at my desk, book open to last night's assignment. I looked over my blank paper and couldn't care less. I would not be going to school today anyway. Today I would go with my family to her grave.
The last time I went was when Rukia had arrived. That guy from the Soul Society had been stalking her, so I really hadn't the time or patience to deal with that again this year. Rukia was staying behind, and there was that weird guy with the fro that was protecting the town. I was free to enjoy visiting my mother's grave as much as I could, which was really close to none enjoyment. Hell, there was no enjoyment at all and anyone who would think there is a sick bastard who needs to go and jump into a pool of acid. (OWWW! :()
I looked at the clock: 3:33 am. I was too awake to go back to sleep, and too lazy to do homework. I slipped quietly out of my room as to not wake a certain black-haired midget, out of the house and into the street. I still had about five hours until we left. I figured I might as well go and visit the spot where she was murdered. I ran through the silent streets, able to find my way well enough in the dark. I could tell what this was doing to my sanity, but I didn't care. With everyone else asleep, wasn't I allowed to be a little insane once in a while? It's not like I thought there was anyone to see me. The city was so quiet; if I didn't know better I'd be sure everyone was dead.
I arrived there in about twenty minutes, my breath frosting in front of me in the cool air. Rubbing my arms, I shivered at the wind and the memories of this place. How can this calm place hold so many horrible memories?
Mine weren't the only ones, I would find out.
It was later in the morning, and we were almost to the cemetery. The sky was mostly clear, only a few clouds dotted here and there. I looked ahead of me to see the first of the graves appear over the hill. My chest tightened a little as we got closer to her grave. it had been years since I had cried, but it didn't mean that I felt nothing when coming here. I felt defeated. They, whoever they were, had won. I was powerless to save my mother and I had to watch her die.
No. I wouldn't ruin everyone's day with my sorrow. I turned to see Yuzu and Karin ahead of me, already at the grave. Dad was trying to lighten the mood by being his dumbass self, but today I didn't care. Going to sit on the stairs, I could keep an eye on my family while being left to my thoughts.
It turned out I wouldn't be so alone. When I reached the stairs, I saw them already occupied by a girl. She was about my age, I guessed by her size. I couldn't see her face because her head was bowed down. It took me a few seconds to figure out that she was crying. I sat next to her and looked out at the graves. The river was visible from where I sat, and I stared at it as though it held all the answers I wanted.
After a few minutes the girl's cries slowed to a stop and she lifted her head. Wiping her eyes on her sleeve, she looked out at the river too. "It looks quite depressing, don't you think?" she spoke quietly, her voice having a little tremble in it.
I turned to look at her, smiling a little. "I was thinking the same thing."
Looking at her, I decided she was my age, and she looked a little familiar. She had light brown hair with blond streaks in it, though it didn't look dyed but lightened from the sun. She was slender and pale. She was not an Orihime (you know what I mean…), but she wasn't…lacking in that area… (AWKWARD!). She had teal eyes, and looking closer I could see flecks of gold and green in them. She looked really tired and kind of sick, like she hadn't slept in four days, which she probably hadn't, considering where we were. She smiled back for a second, but then it was gone. She looked down at the ground and sighed.
"Does it get any easier?" she asked. She sounded defeated.
"Does it get easier?" I asked, not certain I heard her right.
"You seem to be able to come here without crying, though I can't imagine you crying," she added.
"I'm not going to lie to you, but it doesn't. You just learn to focus on the good, not the bad." I thought for sure that she was going to start crying after hearing that, but she didn't. Instead, to my surprise, she leaned up against my arm, her head resting on my shoulder.
"Thanks," she whispered, "for telling me the truth."