Authors note: Hi all! This is my first journey into CM fan fic (and my first time writing anything in many years!) two years ago, I was told I had to lose weight for medical reasons and I joined weight watchers, so far I've lost almost 30kgs (I think that's like 66 pounds or something in American talk! Please forgive me, I'm a Kiwi girl) something that had bugged me about a lot of CM fic is how people portray Garcia with really being happy with her weight. And I am sure that some people really are, however I must admit I am rather a lot like Garcia I march to the beat of my own drum and I don't really care about what people think about me. However I really was not that happy with my weight and how I looked and I think that it because of weight watchers I realised that. So My Penelope is going to be a little bit different from other people's Penelope's and if you do not like that I make no apologies, it's my time to play with the toys damn it!

THIS IS UPBETAED! All mistakes are mine (and if picked up on please tell me and I'll fix them)

This WILL evolve into a Garcia/Morgan fic, because well they're so damn cute!

Disclaimer: please don't sue me; I'm a post-graduate music student. I'm never going to earn enough money as a music teacher (figures cross I become an opera singer!)—ALSO while I work for Weightwatchers and know the plan I do not own it.—if you feel that why inspired PM me and I'll send you info about how to sign up to the program.

Penelope Garcia was not a wimp.

When she was only twelve years old she had beat up Ian Henderson after he had picked on her for her size, he'd needed eighteen stiches. She'd been grounded for a month.

Three years later, when someone hummed the ride of the Valkyries under his breath while she walked into the classroom she was far more cleaver, the naked pictures that he thought where safe on his computer landed up plastered on every computer desk top in school. He was called wee weenie for his whole sophomore year and beyond. She HADN'T been caught.

But this moment in time Penelope Garcia, Goddess of all things Geek was scared. Out of her mind scared.

She'd never really had a problem with her weight at all, not since she grew boobs and noticed and increased amount of male attention, men seemed to like a larger chested girl without really minding what else is attached to it. Finding her own unique style had made things even better for her.

Yes she avoided looking the mirror before she had clothes on, and she NEVER looked at her side profile even with clothes on, but she tried to tell herself she liked her body. It was her mantra every day when she woke up. I'm happy with myself, I love myself, I look good. This ever day again and again.

And it worked, for a while at least, by the time she was in her mid-thirties she was happy, she had a good job with the FBI, a boyfriend who loved her, a best friend she couldn't live without and a family that filled the parts of her heart that her own family never could. She loved her life, fighting the bad guys with her heroes during the day and going home to Kevin and night.

However that changed dramatically and quickly. Firstly Kevin had to be stupid enough to ask her to marry him. She remember how the pit of her stomach dropped at she looked into his earnest eyes as he professed to wanting to spend the rest of her life with her. Why she had thought, I don't deserve the love of a man like Kevin, I don't deserve the love of anyone. All of the thoughts, the taunts, the mean words, the shame she hid under layers of bravado and makeup.

It was then when she turned him down by telling him that there five year relationship was moving too fast, that she realised it. She wasn't happy. She didn't love herself. She needed to change.

And that's what brought her here. Being scared. Looking at the door of a community centre but to chicken to walk through it.

She knew the meeting was on today, she had Googled it at home before leaving (and the removing any trace of said Google, she was even too afraid to do it at work unless someone found out what she had been planning to do)

For goodness sake Garcia, she thought to herself angrily, It's not like you haven't gone to a support group before. Yes, said the other, meaner part of her mind, but not like this type of group. This type of group for people like you.

For the fiftieth time that night (she was sure it wasn't that many time, if Reid had been with her he would be able to tell, but there was no way she was inviting him to THIS) Garcia read the sign that was outside the door.

Weightwatchers Meeting; on here today.

She was going to do this.

"Hi," a small cheerful woman appeared next to her, "are you hear for the meeting?"

The tiny girl couldn't have been any older then her mid-twenties with mid length brown hair and amber eyes. Dressed in a short skirt, fish net tight, doc martins and a singlet she looked a little bit like a punk rock fairy.

Penelope smiled weakly at her, "I'm not really sure to tell you the truth"

The girl smiled up at her, "Yeah I was the same my first meeting, I could barely make it out of my car, let alone to the door! I was so scared that everybody would judge, but really we're a nice group of people."

"You've never been fat!" Penelope exclaimed look her up and down , the girl looked like she'd never been over weight in her life, in fact she really looked like a small gust of wind would knock her over, being short with dainty features.

"You'd been surprised," the Punk Fairy replied, "two years ago, I was 80 pounds larger then I am now. I'm Rose, the leader here."

"Leader?"

"I run the meeting, come on in, I'll help you get you signed up and stuff" Rose smiled at Penelope and held the door open for her.

This was it, now or never time.

Looking at the computer screen Penelope sighed. Three weeks ago she had started taking control of her life. Three weeks ago she had 'Started her weight loss journey' as Rose her Leader had said.

Leader, it made it sound like she was in a cult! It wasn't really, the women (and a scattering of men) who attended the meeting had been really lovely, they were at different stages of their own journey and where all really understanding. She had felt so accepted and it was partly that made her keep going back every week. Well that and the numbers on the scale falling gradually downwards in a pleasing manner that made her smile every Tuesday evening when she trudged out to her local community hall.

So far she had told no one about her new eating routing, still unsure how people would take her new body image. But just because she hadn't said anything didn't mean nobody had noticed, she did work with profilers after all, and they didn't seem to be able to turn it off, even when with their friends.

Morgan was first. Of course it would be her Hot Stuff! When she didn't order her regular soy chocolate covered frothy drink in the morning, he raised one eyebrow at her in silent query. Unsure how to answer his inquiry she just shrugged and carried her short back with skim milk (two points thank you very much) back to the office with him.

JJ was next, but that was maybe more to do with the fact they usually ate lunch together almost every day, and saw her food choices. On Pen's suggestion they had started to bring food more often than going out to eat. After Penelope's fourth chicken salad wrap JJ had asked her strait out if she was pregnant. After half choking on her lunch Pen violently shock her head and hightailed it out of there. Needless to say she ate in her office for them onwards.

Emily, Reid and Rossi all noticed at the same time when she turned down a cupcake that Sally from the tech pool offered her. Sally was practicing for her three year old birthday so her cupcakes where becoming increasingly shaped like farm animals and looked like they were filled with sugar. When she declined Reid asked her if she was sick, and then reminded her of all the times she had passed over one of her favourite treats and how it corresponded with when she was sick. She replied that she as busy and quacking rushed back to the safety of her lair.

If Hotch ever noticed, and she was sure he did, he never mentioned. He did however smile at her, one of his rare smiles that that only graced his face on very rare occasions. And he replaced all of the milk in the tea room with 2%.

It was going to be long journey.