NOTE: The whole Fionna And Cake episode of Adventure Time inspired me to write this.

Characters appearing in this chapter:

Bertha - Female version of Bert

Bree - Female version of Broo

Rachel - Female version of Ralph

Matthew - Male version of Melissa

Cyndi - Female version of Cyril Sneer

Celia - Female version of Cedric

Lilly, Billie and Filly - Female versions of the Pigs.

The plucky tomboy of a raccoon pedaled her bike as she just finished driving her paper route for the Evergreen Standard. She wore a red tank top with a yellow letter B on it and a pair of jean shorts. She was physically on the short side yet athletically built as she wiped the sweat from her brow. She giggled at the female puppy by her side, "Boy, delivering all those papers sure works up a good sweat, Bree. I could really go for a peanut butter soda to quench my thirst!"

Bree barked happily in response as they stopped off at the Evergreen Standard office. Upon entering, the tomboy was greeted by none other than her good journalist friend, Rachel, "Why hello there, Bertha. I take it the paper route went well."

Rachel was a rather pudgy and homely looking raccoon but she wasn't downright ugly and had a bit of a cute charm to her. She wore a tan jacket over a teal tank top and a white scarf around her neck. Unlike Bertha who had a bent nose, her snout was long and pointy. Rachel was a smart girl but she could be a little awkward at times. Bertha remembered a time where poor Rachel got picked on by the mean girls in high school for being fat. One time, Rachel was bullied so badly that she cried for 3 hours straight in the bathroom with tears rolling down her snout. Bertha sadly remembered that day all too well.

Bertha smiled at Rachel, "It was pretty smooth sailing, Raych. By the way, is there any peanut butter soda in the minifridge? All that biking sure works up a thirst."

Rachel smiled and nodded, "Sure, you can help yourself to one. We just got stocked up."

Just then, a male raccoon stepped out of the darkroom. He was a bit of a pretty-boy with a slender build, pointed snout and handsome sapphire blue eyes. He was clad in a sleeveless open pink cargo vest and had a camera around his neck. Bertha was a little bit jealous that her friend Rachel could score a hot stud like him. The tomboy smiled at the male raccoon as Rachel greeted him, "Oh, hello, Matthew. How's the photography going?"

Matthew smiled, "It went great, honey. I got so many great shots that would look great on the front page. So, how's the story going?"

"So far, so good." Rachel replied, "It's about time we had lunch, though. How about we go back to the Raccoondininium and fix up a picnic?"

Matthew chuckled a bit, "Oh silly Rachel, always thinking of food." The photographer gave his wife a kiss on her snout, causing her to blush.

"Well, I was always teased for being the fat girl at school." Rachel said, trying to laugh herself.

"A picnic? Oh goody, can I come along?" Bertha asked excitedly.

Rachel and Matthew just frowned before Matthew spoke up, "Sorry, Bertha. Rachel and I kind of want to catch up on some alone time together."

Rachel nodded, "Matthew's right, the two of us are going to have a peaceful picnic and have a little hike to burn off calories."

The tomboy pouted and crossed her arms, "Hmph, you two are no fun." Bertha opened the minifridge and took out a peanut butter soda, opened it and chugged it down.

Matthew smiled, "You know, you could always go hang out with Celia. Maybe the two of you could have your own picnic together."

Bertha gasped with joy, "Matthew, you're a genius! I think I'll do just that."

"Just be careful about not getting Celia's dress dirty, though." Rachel warned, "You remember just how angry Cyndi got last time."

Bertha shivered a bit, "Yeah, that old hose nose can have quite the temper. Anyway, see you guys later. I'm off to Mrs Willow's Store to get me and Celia some beef jerky. This looks like a job for Bertha Raccoon: Ace Picnic Coordinator!"

Rachel and Matthew just rolled their eyes as Bertha ran out of the office and hopped on her bike, peddling off in the direction of the general store.

Meanwhile, a tall female aardvark sat in her office. Her nails were painted red and she wore a pure white fur coat with a bunch of jewelry around her fingers and neck. Between her fingers was a cigarette holder. She pressed a buzzer button and three pigs wearing heavy makeup sped up to her office, "We're at your service, ma'am." Lilly, the first pig spoke.

Cyndi Sneer crossed her arms and glared at them before speaking in a Villainous sounding English accent much like Cruella De Vil, "You swine disgust me, slacking off on your job again. Going off, buying donuts when you should be spying on those dreadful raccoons!"

Filly, the second pig shivered, "Please don't turn us into pig skin coats, boss. I swear it will never happen again!"

Billie nodded, "It won't ever happen again, I promise!"

"Ever minute you waste stuffing your foul faces with that pedestrian swill you call food, you could be out there trying to overthrow the Evergreen Standard. I need you to find out all you can on those pesky vermin called raccoons. I expect to see results and they had better be worth my time. Now get out!" Cyndi shouted.

"Yes, ma'am." Lilly whined.

"Right away, ma'am." Filly replied. And with that, the 3 pigs dashed out and Cyndi groaned to herself, "What a bunch of incompetent imbeciles..."

Suddenly, there was a knock on Cyndi's door and a voice came from the other side, "Hi mom, I was wondering if we could talk."

"Of course, daughter. Come on in." Cyndi replied.

Celia stepped through the door. She was a beautiful young aardvark wearing a blue ankle-length dress and glasses. Celia was very a very smart and well-educated girly girl, quite a contrast to Bertha's reckless and rough tomboy nature. She smiled at her mother, "Well mom, Bertha just gave me a phone call and told me that she'd like to go on a picnic."

Cyndi glared at her daughter, "A picnic? With that grungy, filthy ringtailed tomboy?! Have you completely lost it, Celia?"

Celia hung her head, "Gee mom, Bertha and I just want to hang out together."

"Well, you can just forget it!" Cyndi hissed angrily, taking a puff with her cigarette holder, "No daughter of mine is going out on an outing with that low class good-for-nothing bandit-faced Polly Oliver! Besides, you have that dress of yours to worry about. Do you have any idea how expensive it was? That's the finest silk money can buy and that tomboy friend of yours will ruin it in a matter of seconds! I only want the best for you, daughter. Stay AWAY from those raccoons, got it?"

Celia whimpered softly and hung her head, "Yes, mom."

With a sad sigh, Celia retired to her bedroom and phoned Bertha. Rachel picked up on the other end, "Hello, Raccoon residence. This is Rachel speaking, how may I help you?"

"Rachel?" Celia blinked, "Do you know where I can reach Bertha? I thought of going on a picnic with her but mom got mad when I told her."

Rachel sighed, "I'm real sorry to hear that. Bertha went off to Mrs Willow's general store to get some food for your picnic. Silly Bertha, she's always more than welcome to get food from the Raccoondiminium."

"Do you think she'll be there if I call Willow's store?" Celia asked to Rachel through the phone.

Rachel shrugged, "I don't know. It's worth a shot, I guess. Anyway, I hope you, Cyndi and Bertha work things out. Matthew and I are preparing for our own picnic. Bye, Celia."

Celia sighed and dialed the number for Mrs Willow's general store. An elderly female polar bear answered on the other end, "Hello? Celia?"

"Hi, Mrs Willow, I was wondering is Bertha's in your store at the moment. She said she's shop there for a picnic lunch." Celia replied.

Mrs Willow looked around her store and spotted Bertha, "Bertha, your friend Celia would like to speak to you on the phone."

The tomboy spun around, "Really? Okay, just let me ring up these two jars of peanut butter."

Bertha bought the beef jerky and jars of peanut butter as Mrs Willow handed her the phone, "Hello, Celia?"

"Hi, Bertha. Bad news, mom doesn't want the two of us going on a picnic. She's worried I might ruin my dress if we do." Celia replied on the other end.

Bertha rubbed her chin, "Is that so? Well, maybe I could go down to Sneer Mansion and let old hose nose change her mind somehow. After all, my middle name is persuasion!"

"Mine's Sylvia." Celia replied plainly, "Well, I sure hope you can change mom's mind. She's in one of her moods again."

Bertha just chuckled a bit, "Don't you worry your pretty dress, Celia. All I gotta do is talk to her and if that doesn't work, I could always sneak you out."

"Gee, I don't really know." Celia sounded a little unsure.

Bertha just giggled, "You can trust me. After all, I'm Bertha Raccoon: Ace Escape Artist."

Celia laughed on the other end, "All right, Bertha. I'll see you this afternoon. Bye."

"I'll see you soon, Celia. Bye." Bertha hung up the phone.

NOTE: So what do you think so far? I couldn't find any genderbent fanart or fanfiction of the Raccoons so I started my own.