SHADOW PEOPLE
by LaughableBlackStorm
Written June 2012; edited September 2012, May 2013
Warnings: mature slash (Harry/Draco), some swearing
Author's note: I have always loved Draco/Harry stories—it is definitely one of my favourite pairings—but this is my first time writing one, for some reason. Just a weird little one-shot; it isn't my best writing, but I've been out of practice for a while…a long while.
Happy reading! :)
I.
In the Great Hall, Malfoy sits quietly and still, observing, while Potter can't keep himself in one place.
Malfoy's gaze would make him sit still. It would paralyse his thrumming body.
He doesn't think Potter has the ability to self-reflect, at least not to the depth that he probably needs to. He thinks that Potter simply does not want to and instead lives through his actions. He grows with every step he takes; he fights the demons inside himself by confronting the ones that exist outside his body, and it makes Malfoy imagine him climbing a winding, glass staircase where at the top stands freedom and shadows hide behind every turn of glass, but only he and Potter can see them.
Malfoy doesn't want to act (he definitely doesn't think he needs to), so instead he gives Potter the slip and starts from the top of the staircase. At the bottom, Potter is nothing more than a small spot in his vision. He can't feel it at first, but in front of every turn, the shadows push him faster and faster down; they accelerate him.
Malfoy lives by reacting to decisions that others have made, at least for now.
II.
Be refined. Always be refined, and always have control of yourself. If you feel emotion, let others know nothing of it. It is a vulnerability; a person who knows your true thoughts and emotions has incredible power over you. And watch your every step, because that is what the rest of the world is doing; they know your every move. Be refined. With every single move you make, be cautious, and calculate the outcome before anyone else even knows what you have done.
Says his father.
He has made Malfoy afraid to move.
III.
Halfway down and halfway up, they meet.
Potter catches him late one night. It looks as though he was hiding, waiting for Malfoy to pass by, and that seems odd at first but ceases to matter as soon as Potter has Malfoy's collar in his grasp and they disappear further into the dark shadows of the corridor that Potter's arms emerged from.
Held against the wall, Malfoy panics and sticks his wand into Potter's side. In return his wrist is twisted until he lets go and the wand clatters to the ground, and then he is thrown sharply against the stones, banging his head.
In his face, Potter hisses, "Where have you been going at night, Malfoy?"
This is dangerous, and ridiculous. He's been caught. This is terrible. He needs to run—in fact, he needs to wipe Potter's memory clean and never leave the Room of Requirement again until everything is done.
Except, Potter has been following him.
Malfoy finds himself wanting.
"You don't even know why you're here, do you, Potter?"
"I want to find out what you're doing."
"Perhaps. But no, not really."
Malfoy pushes him roughly away, but while Potter is surprised he does not release his grip on Malfoy's robes, and so they both collapse against the opposite wall of the corridor. Potter begins to protest and squirm away but Malfoy stays still, pressed against him with his hands resting on either side of Potter's neck, and when they lock eyes Potter goes silent and stops moving.
"You're an idiot," Malfoy says with a raised eyebrow.
Potter blinks, as though unsure of what to think at the moment, and after coming up empty-handed he says, "Prat."
Malfoy slowly closes the gap and brushes their lips together. It isn't a kiss; he simply makes contact. With a small intake of breath, Potter's lips part, and he makes a low sound. His warm, shallow breath eases a part of Malfoy's thoughts. When Malfoy gently plays with the other boy's bottom lip with his teeth, Potter finally exhales shakily and his right hand lets go of Malfoy's robes to curl around his neck.
Then, Potter properly kisses him. Malfoy wants to press even harder against him, wants to touch the boy's skin and make his blood rush. He wants Potter to do the same to him, but he tells himself to stop. He knows he shouldn't, knows he cannot think this way and he definitely cannot act this way; already, he has thrown himself too far past the line.
Potter notices his frozen stance, and it makes him hesitate. He pulls back completely. "Malfoy, this isn't funny."
He can only look down at Potter's collar. The beating of his own heart is no longer within his control.
Potter pushes him; Malfoy feels him retract his emotions. "What is this, Malfoy? What fucking game are you playing?"
No response comes; he can't even make eye contact. So Potter pushes him once more and storms off.
It takes him a long time to leave the corridor; the last place he wants to be tonight is in the Room of Requirement, with the Cabinet. Once he does gather enough resolve to step away from the spot on the wall Potter leaned against, his thoughts are so far away that he nearly forgets to pick up his wand.
He pauses on his glass step, biting his lip.
IV.
The next night, he looks down the corridor, but doesn't see Potter. He sighs. He lingers. Finally, he curses and turns to leave.
A pair of hands materialises in the air and drags him back into the corridor. Potter rips off the Invisibility Cloak and they glare at each other.
"You've got a Cloak?"
"Why are you here, Malfoy?"
"You twat!"
Potter opens his mouth in anger to challenge him again, but Malfoy's blood feels warmer than it has ever before and it makes him place a hand on Potter's cheek. The boy flinches and moves back, but Malfoy doesn't want to let him go this time. He feels Potter's pulse against his palm.
Quietly, he says, "I'm not playing a game."
Slowly, Potter nods and steps back down to Malfoy's level so they can look each other in the eye more easily.
V.
When they meet at night in the corridor, he lets Potter show him what it's like to move freely, even as the shadows press them both into the ground. He learns to feel free enough to make a sound and now, at the end of the first term, he can sometimes move all he wants.
Potter keeps climbing, climbing. They both think Malfoy is following, but the boy beside Potter is under a delusion; he is in fact walking down backwards, staring at Potter's back and he won't stop crying.
VI.
The shadows continue accelerating his descent. He thinks that he and Potter would be able to see each other better if they were gone.
At Christmas, the spell is broken and he becomes paralysed inside when he returns to the Manor. He is a prisoner in his home, to his family's prejudice, to the Dark Lord, and consequently to himself. When he returns to school Potter sees the change, he feels it, but Malfoy pushes him violently away.
Potter keeps trying. He looks sad and wounded, and incredibly angry. Malfoy keeps running down flight after flight of stairs, and every time he glances up and behind him, peering through the glass that has become smeared by his footprints, Potter is always getting closer, descending after him, reencountering the familiar shadows of his past but he won't give up on Malfoy, "Not yet," he yells after him as they leave class, making the other students eye them strangely, and Potter's gaze burns a whole through his back and heart as Malfoy walks silently away.
VII.
In May, Malfoy wants to smash the mirror in front of him. And then he wants to hurt Potter, hurt him so badly that he tries to cast the Cruciatus Curse. As an alternative, Potter reaches down to snap off the edge of a step and slashes it across Malfoy's chest in three simultaneous movements.
Malfoy lies on the bathroom floor bleeding away, and it feels good as soon as Potter stares down at him, stricken, his eyes bright green instead of red, because Malfoy has finally slowed him down.
Malfoy finds himself wanting even more, now.
VIII.
In the Hospital Wing, Potter still encourages him to change directions, even though gravity is hard.
So they begin climbing together, and Potter tries to keep a firm hold on him, even though Malfoy's shadows continue aiming for the bottom.
Potter says he needs to kill the Dark Lord.
IX.
He does not admit that the Dark Lord has asked him to kill the headmaster, but Potter already knows anyway.
He tries to help him, he truly does—no one has ever tried to help Malfoy the way he has, with so much compassion and courage. But it's too late, Malfoy always says, shrinking away; this is unstoppable.
"He'll kill me," he always says, "and then he'll kill you too."
In their corridor, "He won't kill you," Potter whispers with his unique strength. "If you're under Dumbledore's protection, he won't be able to touch you."
He stands close to Malfoy, who is leaning against the stonewall with only half-open, only half-caring eyes. They are hidden beneath the Invisibility Cloak and he's got his fingers resting along Malfoy's neck.
Sighing softly, Potter kisses him. "He's going to try to kill me whether or not you obey his orders."
"Potter…" He exhales as one of Potter's hands begins running over his chest, his stomach, his sides, his back. The fingertips of his other hand caress his cheek.
Potter breathes against his neck, "Yes?"
A small moan escapes him as Potter's leg slips between his thighs. He grips Potter's shoulders tightly, his nails digging into the boy's skin, and Potter gives him one last kiss before sinking to his knees. Malfoy bites his lip and they watch each other as Potter undresses him as much as is needed. His hands steady Malfoy's hips. After a moment, he says with a damnable smile, "Did you have something to ask me?"
"I—I just don't want you to die, all right?"
He has trouble reading the expression on Potter's face. His smile changes; it becomes sad and uncertain, and his eyes change; they soften at the edges but less light enters them, and the centres of his pupils look hard. Then he puts a small smirk back on, and he licks his lips and murmurs, "Why?"
Scowling, Malfoy replies through gritted teeth, "What the bloody hell do you mean, 'why'?"
"Is it so that I can continue doing this to you?"
He doesn't bother replying, because he will not put himself in an even more vulnerable position and he knows that Potter only really listens to actions, anyway.
He manages to hold eye contact with Potter for several minutes, before he has to throw his head back against the wall and groan. He can't believe Potter lets him do this, lets him let go. With a tiny flash of his bottom teeth, Potter pushes Malfoy over the edge.
Malfoy collapses to his knees in front of Potter, barely able to breathe. His fingers leave the boy's jaw and bury themselves in his thick, messy hair. Potter is gasping as well, with his lips bruised and swollen, and Malfoy can't help kissing him.
"Don't worry," Potter whispers against his lips.
X.
Unfortunately, it seems that the shadows have been chasing Potter, and they finally get him.
XI.
When there is only one week left, Malfoy feels the stings of nerves attacking him as he walks by the corridor and Potter isn't there. The routine is ruined.
He walks down their corridor twice, looks everywhere he can in the vicinity twice, searching for the feel of the Invisibility Cloak, and instead feels like he is losing control when Potter remains out of sight. The corridor is as dark as ever, it is colder now that he is by himself, and as the shadows swallow him whole he looks up and down through the glass steps but he has lost sight of Potter.
They are gone from each other.
XII.
The next night, Potter is still absent from the corridor, but Malfoy finds him standing in front of the Room. A door has already appeared in the wall.
Potter speaks without looking at him.
"Here, I got it ready for you."
Then he walks away, back down the dark corridors that led him here.
XIII.
Malfoy stops doing his homework, he stops paying attention in class, he stops looking his best, he stops socialising, he stops looking others in the eye, he stops sleeping, he stops eating, he stops looking at Potter, he stops talking to Potter, he stops seeing Potter, but he does not stop thinking of Potter, the last few days leading up to the end.
The boy keeps trying to attract Malfoy's attention, and the one time that he succeeds, Potter doesn't say a word and he doesn't move an inch. Malfoy turns his head away and his mouth turns into a hard line.
XIV.
There are only hours left before Hogwarts is ruined, and it is the last night he has to sleep in his dorm, but he decides to spend it sitting in the Room of Requirement. As he paces the hallway, walking back and forth on his glass step, he does not think of the Cabinet; instead he tries to think of a place that makes him feel safe.
When Potter wasn't looking, Malfoy's shadow snuck past them and tiptoed down as many flights of stairs as it could before it was caught.
Malfoy has been looking back up when he thinks Potter is distracted.
Eventually, the boy must have noticed; eventually, he must have realised that they hadn't truly left each other behind, because when the door appears in front of him, Potter appears at his side.
For the first time in days, Malfoy turns his head and looks at him. He doesn't think he has ever seen Potter's eyes so wide with sadness. "Are you following me again?"
Potter can't stop staring. "I couldn't sleep," he whispers, and indeed he looks a mess.
"Go away."
"No." He challenges, as always. His eyes narrow, and it does nothing but accentuate the dull hollow in them.
"Potter," Malfoy hisses, his voice breaking, "get away from me."
His gaze flickers between Malfoy's eyes, as though he is searching for a truth that Malfoy won't admit to even himself. He wonders what Potter sees. He wonders if his eyes are red yet, like the Dark Lord's.
Potter steps forward. "Why?"
Malfoy's wand is instantly pointing at his chest, but no curse, or jinx, or spell is on his lips. There is a torch beside the Room door and it plays lights across Potter's face. Malfoy can't stop staring, either; he takes in the boy's appearance and he can't stop looking at him. It makes tears blur his vision; it makes him feel vulnerable.
"I hate you," he whispers.
Chuckling tiredly, Potter closes his eyes and runs his hands over his face. "Still?"
XVI.
In the Astronomy Tower, Malfoy needs to kill Dumbledore.
Beneath the floorboards, Potter stands still, so still and silent, observing.
Potter will kill the Dark Lord.
XVII.
He runs with Severus, Bella, and the others towards the Forbidden Forest. This dark outcrop holds allure, but in the end he hears Potter screaming; he hears the betrayal and the physical pain as Potter roughly hits the ground every time he challenges the actions they have taken.
Several glass steps shatter as Severus slams Potter into them. He cuts his arms and stomach but he won't stay down there, he grips the bloody shards the way he can grip Malfoy's hair.
This time Malfoy makes a choice, and he gives them the slip and travels along the edge of the Forest until he is parallel with Potter, who is still yelling. He is just feet away.
As Malfoy grips a tree branch for balance and support, Severus snarls and brings Potter down again.
Severus leaves him and moves away and walks with dignity to the others, who cannot find Malfoy because Malfoy feels like a shadow now, in here; he hides in the turn, underneath the glass steps. He will not be seen until the right moment.
Potter lies there for a moment, the heels of his palms pressed into his eyes as he breathes harshly and arches off the ground—
XV.
in the room of requirement, draco keeps as quiet as possible, but he can't stop all the sounds that form in his throat; he can't always stay silent, especially not when harry gasps against his neck as he moves above him.
and besides, harry likes to hear him. every time draco moans, harry releases a trembling breath and momentarily loses his rhythm.
harry holds him, his grip bruising but somehow still tender, and it makes draco feel alive. it makes him feel wild.
harry's eyes shine in the dark. when draco whispers his name, a shiver runs through him and his fingers tighten their hold. harry's muscles tense; he breathes heavily as he watches draco beneath him.
this time harry's gasp sounds slightly desperate; this time it is against draco's lips.
draco tries to resist it, wants to ride this high for ever, feels the exotic warmth pool around him, at the base of his spine, and he knows the boy doing this to him feels the same. he never wants to leave this room because outside, people he doesn't trust are taking action.
but they stay together.
XVIII.
—and then Potter is on his knees, bent over in anguish, and he cries out:
"Malfoy, come back!"
Malfoy's shadow peels out of sight behind the tree, and Potter's eyes lock on the spot before he gathers the courage to carry himself to the edge of the Forest. He doesn't take his eyes off the shadow until he stands close to Malfoy's body; then, Malfoy has the chance to stare into the mist that clouds Potter's green eyes, and just as importantly, he has the chance to hate himself.
With a pained expression, Potter pushes him deeper into the darkness. Fear grips Malfoy's heart and leaves a stinging mark on his left forearm, but Potter distracts him by throwing him to the ground, where the soil cannot sustain normal life and dead leaves crack beneath their weight.
Potter's left palm covers the mark on Malfoy's arm as the right curls into a fist and punches him straight in the jaw, and Malfoy waits it out, he waits until they make it around the next turn and the shadows momentarily lift off their breaking bodies.
Malfoy thinks he is in shock; he can't move. His body has gone cold. Maybe he is just dead. Maybe Potter hit him to try to bring him back to life, or on the other hand, maybe it was to be certain that he is really, really dead.
After the punch Potter's strength wanes, but not his will, and the fingers he used to leave the bruise now caress Malfoy's cheek while his body sways with his breathing, outside of his control. He looks down at Malfoy's left arm; he briefly lifts his palm to uncover the black skull, before he hides it again and stares resolutely down into Malfoy's eyes.
He imagines Potter saying to his either dead or alive corpse, Goodbye, Malfoy.
Instead, the boy says, "Just a little while longer."
Malfoy's dead lips say, "I don't think I can put up with you for that long, Potter."
Potter smiles down at him, and then his face goes hard. "I'll kill him soon. Then you can move again."
XIX.
In the Great Hall, amidst the cheers, Potter breaks away to find him.
It has been such a long, long time since they were in their sixth year, meeting in the corridor, but…
They can finally move together, at the same level.
Together, neither considers himself one with the dead.
XX.
Potter has given him a spark. It keeps him from thinking too much, and it gives him the time he needs to stumble back up to the top of the staircase, if only to stand there for a moment.
Once he gets there, he hears, "Malfoy?"
He looks back over his shoulder and Potter has stopped; he stands just over there, hesitating on the last step. Out of breath, Malfoy makes his decision and nods.
"Yes, all right."
With a small, uncertain grin, Potter climbs for the last time, and they stand facing each other for the smallest moment before the entire staircase shatters beneath their feet. They reach up and hold on.
They watch as Malfoy's shadow leaves him and swirls together with the shadows that hid behind every turn, and now they fall away. Potter's shadow—the one that Malfoy has never seen until now—joins them, and it too disappears.
Staring into each other's eyes, they are laughing, they are bathing in the light that has never before warmed their skin.
The End
Shadow People
Thank you for reading! Constructive criticism, or just a simple review, is always appreciated :)