Kyla - Love Will Lead You Back
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII.
Author's Note: Review if you think this could be better than a one-shot.
Love Will Lead You Back
ms.heartbroken
She crept silently down the steps towards the entrance of the bar. She was careful to tread soundlessly on the stairs leading down the living room. She sneakily hid herself behind the shadows of the walls cast by the early morning light. She watched him put his hand on the door handle, as if hesitating for a moment, and then proceeded to twist the knob and step out towards the chill of dawn. He mounted Fenrir and, throwing Seventh Heaven a final glance, switched on the engine and drove off to the unknown.
Tifa Lockheart sadly gazed outside of Seventh Heaven, to the spot where Fenrir had just been. He had left again. To Aeris. Wow… How funny… Even in death she's still no match for her.
Too deep into her thoughts, she unconsciously walked towards a couch near the window. She dazedly gazed out the glass panes and didn't see the dim light that the sun had already bathed the city in. she was too preoccupied to notice the slight mist and the dew drops clinging to the window panes outside her comfy home.
It's been weeks since he started leaving for no reason at all. She knew he had no deliveries. No reason to leave her like this. She can stand his silence sometimes, when he doesn't want her to know what's going on inside his mind. She knows he's still hurting for Aeris, for Zack. But leaving her alone just like that, not even letting her know, not even answering her calls. How could he have missed her calls? Why is he deliberately ignoring her?
Why does he keep on leaving her hanging like this?
Why does he work hard to shut her out?
When all she wanted was for him to know that she was there for him… She was always there…
Saying goodbye
Is never an easy thing
Then how could he have left her like that? Without letting her know he was leaving? That's it… He found it hard to say goodbye.
Why would he find it hard to say goodbye?
Maybe, it means more than just leaving her here. About matters only he understands. Matters he doesn't want her to know. Matters of the heart…
Tifa could feel her tears brimming… No, she was not going to cry… Cloud wouldn't leave her… Cloud had made a promise to her…
She hugged her knees closer to her.
So what if he just left without letting her know? She's been waiting for him all her life… His leaving now would be of no difference. He had left her when they were still children. It was possible that he would leave her again now. After all, there was no danger today, tomorrow, and maybe, for a long time. Cloud needn't protect her. She could fend for herself too.
What she's really afraid of is Cloud's never coming back…
And you never said
That you'd stay forever
It had started to rain, the sun hiding behind the clouds again.
Tifa sat there beside the window, watching as the rain poured in torrents. It was as if the skies were sorry for her. She thought about the skies… Oh, how she envied them… They could always watch over Cloud… Watch him as he enters an old ruined church… Seeing him drown himself in his guilt… Gaze at him as he recalls memories about Aeris…
She's changed her mind… She doesn't want to see him thinking about Aeris… She doesn't want to think that even if Aeris was now dead, he still couldn't see her… She had always been beside him, but he still didn't see her. He was still with her now because of that promise they made years ago. She was thankful she made that promise with him… If it wasn't for that promise, she might not have seen Cloud anymore…
So if you must go
Well, darling I'll set you free
She knows he doesn't have to stay and she knows he doesn't have to go. She was here… His friends were all there for him. What more does he want? He was needlessly suffering over a loss he couldn't have done anything to stop from happening. She wanted to help him… Help him get through in his time of need… When a hero needed help more than a world does… He was destroying himself… And Tifa wanted to stop him, because he was also destroying her…
Seeing him suffer, seeing his lifeless blue eyes… It makes her suffer too… Thinking that she could have done something to prevent this from happening… Thinking that she should have done something to help the one she loves…It pained her to see him walking out… Pained her to see him leaving… But she could do nothing about it, he never listens…
But later on, as days passed by, she just accepted the fact that he needed to go. He needed to be alone, to think about what happened… He didn't need her… Didn't need her…
But I know in time
We'll be together
Tifa Lockheart doesn't give up easily. She knows that, even after how long he was gone, he always comes back. He just needed time to heal. He just needed time for himself, to sort out his thoughts. Yes, that's right. Time to sort out those thoughts, sort out those feelings…
Even after how long he's gone, he always comes back…
Tifa tells herself over and over, momentarily stopping the incessant flow of tears. She forces herself to smile and think about the time Cloud comes back again.
I wont try to stop you now from leaving
She stopped calling him again and again just last week. She figured he must be busy and he doesn't want her calling him just to check up on him. She figured he might get annoyed at her and never come back at all. She leaves him alone, because that's what he wants…
'But Cloud always comes back-
Coz in my heart I know
and I belive that…
Love will lead you back
if you do love me…
Someday I just know that
I just hope that day would come sooner…
Love will lead you back to my arms
I'll always be waiting for you, welcoming you with open arms…
Where you belong
You belong with me-
I'm sure
There's no where else you should be…
Sure as stars are shining
Tifa slowly remembers the time when they were still children. They were best friends… They were sitting side by side on that old barred-up well, looking up at the starry night sky. It wasn't like any other night in Nibelheim. There was a slight breeze and the little town lights were already shining amidst the darkness. The only sounds were the rustling of the tree leaves, the distant sounds of other things.
Cloud had been talking to her about going with mercenaries… She had been surprised at his sudden announcement. But she hid it with a smile and made him promise that he would come back to save her in her time of need. He promised her that he would protect her.
One day you will find me again
Cloud did find her again, at that Mako Reactor in Nibelheim where Sephiroth was going mad. Sephiroth had killed her father, and Tifa had rushed blindly in after him, tightly gripping his katana. She didn't think about anything else, her only thought was getting at Sephiroth and having her revenge.
But she was no match for a First Class Soldier. Moments later, she helplessly tumbled down the stairs. She lay there feeling every pain caused by the fall. 'Where was Cloud now? Didn't he say he would come to help me at my time of need? Didn't he promise me he would protect me? Some promise… huh…'
But Cloud did come… He held her in his arms and looked at her tenderly… She must have been seeing things if she remembered him looking at her tenderly… Imagination or not, she knows Cloud did come to help her. He carried her in his arms and laid her on a place where he thought was safe. He then left her there to go after Sephiroth…
Tifa sobbed soflty as she realized something… He had left her that night, lying on the cold metal floor…
It wont be long
How much long will I have to wait?
One of these days
Can I go on living like this? Should I wait for him?
My love will lead you back…
Tifa was sure she loved Cloud. But she also knows it was an unrequited love… She had to do something… Something to bring Cloud back…
One of these nights
Nights when Cloud wasn't with her…
Well I'll hear your voice again
She thinks she hears him… She might be hearing things… It might have been in one of her dreams-
Your gonna say
What did he say in those dreams?...
How much you miss me
'I'll miss you, but I have to go,' Cloud had said. She imagines that she stirred in her sleep. She thought she saw his shadow lingering for moment on her doorway, as if hesitating. His voice drops into a whisper as he says, 'I love you, Tifa… But I need some time alone… I'll be back…'
'Tifa Lockheart! Stop crying this instant! He said he will always come back!'
Tifa forced herself to stop crying… 'How long is he going to keep on leaving me like this?'
You walked out this door
Tifa glanced atthe bar's unlocked door. Cloud had been the last person to touch it since he left on Fenrir moments ago. She stood up and walked over to the door. She touched the handle gently, it was already cold…
Tifa had never really seen him walk out this door. He always went out silently, as if he was afraid of being found out. Today was the first time she actually saw him go through this evil door. A few months back, for some reason, Tifa always woke up a moment too late. On dreary mornings like these, she could almost feel his presence leaving her, leaving a cold empty space inside her.
Sometimes she was thankful she always woke up a moment too late… What would she say if she caught him? It would be too awkward to have the two of them just standing there, looking at each other. Both knowing what the other wanted to say, and wanted to do… Both knowing that he needed to leave and she needed him to stay…
So she had second thoughts with facing him about 'his' leaving unreasonably, for she knew she would risk telling him she loved him to stop him from going out of those doors. She might let those three dreaded words slip from her lips when she sees him holding the door knob again. She would do anything to stop him from leaving her, anything at all. She just thought too much about what would happen next.
but someday you'll walk back in
She had seen Cloud walk through those very doors, late at night. After he has made his deliveries, and after…visiting Aeris. He would glance over her and say nothing. She would greet him with her usual smile and ask about him. He would walk over to her and nod, then turn towards his room.
She would let her gaze fall on his retreating back, savoring every moment of his presence until he closes the door of his office. She would dazedly drop her gaze back to her previous task and feel a bittersweet emotion.
He was back, and she was happy again. She knew he also enjoyed his stay with her. She could sometimes glimpse the sparkle of happiness momentarily in his shadowed eyes. She knew it's been a long time since he'd laughed, or smiled, or became happy over the small things in life. She knew he momentarily forgets his guilt and his burdens. She knew he was relieved with those moments of forgetfulness in the midst of being happy. But he would remember his sorrows again, not long after. He would be guilty of his being happy when it was his 'fault' that Zack and Aeris died. She would see sadness creep into his eyes again and he would walk out of the room.
And she knew, sooner or later, he would be leaving again.
Darling I know
I know this will be
It was always like that. He came back home, then he would leave again. Sometimes she wished a Bahamut attacked her, that way she'd be sure he would never leave her. She'd imagined him rushing to her aid as the Bahamut towers over her. And if she'd get injured, she was sure he would never think about leaving her, not for some reasonable amount of time…
But it was foolish, he would eventually leave…
Then what if she died? That way she'll never feel like this again… No… She would never leave Cloud… She would just add additional guilt to his heavy heart.
Then what if she was on the brink of death? That ought to keep him by her side… 'Foolish…' That was such a childish thing to even think about…
She had given up much hope over him. She couldn't think of any ways to justify his behavior and unreasonable sadness…
She had always known what would happen. It had been a pattern she had learned to put up with since Aeris' death.
It's only been a week since the fight with the three remnants. People were rebuilding their lives again. How could Tifa rebuild something that was never there in the first place?
Rebuild the pattern? Cloud already made sure of that…
Sometimes it takes
Some time all on your own now
Tifa has given him much time to recover. She waited patiently and diligently for him to heal. She's been waiting for Cloud for a long, long time.
She waited for him in Nibelheim.
She waited for him to recover his lost memories.
She's only just realized she's been waiting for him all her life. Since she was just a child, up until now, it has always been about him.
She waits for him now… For him to come back…
But how long is he going to make her wait like this? How long will she let her heart wait?
She told herself again and again, he needed time alone. Why does he shut her out? Why doesn't he tell her anything? Haven't they been together for almost their whole lives? Aren't they best friends?
'Best friends…
Yeah… Friends… Nothing more…'
to find your way back home
'Home is with me, Cloud… Why can't you understand that? Why won't you accept that?'
The fighting has stopped, why doesn't he come back? Everybody goes home at the end of the day… Where are you now?
Tifa stood up and headed to her room. She was feeling too down today to open the bar. She might find comforting company with Denzel and Marlene, company Cloud couldn't possibly provide.
The cold harsh wind whipped ruthlessly on Cloud's face. It was nearly midnight and he was heading home towards Seventh Heaven.
'Home…'
He's been staying at Aeris' Church lately, thinking about things. He needed to sort out his thoughts and his… feelings.
Of course he wasn't stupid. He knew he had had feelings for his best friend since they were still in Nibelheim. He had secretly watched over her from afar, afraid to approach her, afraid to talk to her. Everybody was her friend and she had so many people around her that it was impossible for Cloud 'the Weird boy' to go near her. He had hoped she would one day look his way and he would have the opportunity to befriend her.
But he knew it was an impossible feat, he didn't even have the courage to talk to her, much less make friends with her. She was very far from his world, so very out of reach. Who would have thought she would later become his best friend, his first 'promised' person, his adventure-companion, his savior, and much more.
She then became his world. She had lit up an emotion in him that always wanted to protect her from any harm, always wanted to make sure she was safe and sound. And it wasn't just that emotion that sparked up in him. He must have been born under a very lucky star that seemed to have crossed Tifa's star to become her best friend. What was that term again? Star-crossed friends… Or was it lovers?
'Lovers…'
Nah… How could he? That would be crossing the line between him and his most important person. She was his princess, his 'hime'. And he was her lowly soldier, ready to give up his life for her. And if he did tell her that he was afraid of what she might say or do. She might slap him if he confessed his feelings for her, like how the wind was slapping him now.
'That would be a really painful slap then…'
Actually, he was afraid of rejection. Why would he risk their friendship over such a petty thing as 'confession of his deepest feelings'? He would rather die with his secret than live in a 'Tifa-less' life, in case she ran away upon hearing his words. But he doubted that thought, he couldn't imagine Tifa running away from him. Tifa had always been there for him through thick and thin, through danger and adventure. He couldn't imagine his life without Tifa ever being there. Tifa was the other half of his person, she was always there.
On the contrary, it was him who wasn't there for her. Here he was, on the road again hurrying up because he was late again. He knew Tifa was already worried and that he was making her anxious by being late.
He couldn't help it. Aeris' Church was the best place to think about things he'd never had time to think more properly about. He could enjoy the peace her Church provided and the fact that no one ever went there anymore, except maybe Tifa and him.
Lately, he had come across a very disturbing thought which made him spend more time alone in the church. He's spent weeks and weeks thinking about it and he's decided he won't hold it in much longer. He knew his absence from Seventh Heaven was felt by Tifa and the kids. But he also knew his predicament wouldn't wait. He needed to get a clearer understanding of things.
He knew he had to tell her how he felt about her sooner or later. He just couldn't bear being near her knowing his feelings towards her were more than friendly. He couldn't stay around her much because it felt awkward for him. He couldn't look straight into her eyes now for fear of drowning into those wine colored depths. He couldn't talk to her much because his words caught up in his throat. And he couldn't tell her anything that was happening in his head because his thoughts were about her. Because his thoughts were, 'I Love You'.
The lights of Edge City grew brighter as he and Fenrir approached the city's main roads. He rushed through the city heading towards Seventh Home. As he turned off Fenrir's engine and parked the sleek black vehicle by the bar, he thought about slipping into his 'home' unnoticed.
Yes, this was his home. Home is where Tifa is.
Love will lead you back
'He's home…'
These were words that ran through Tifa's mind as she heard Cloud's motorbike in front of Seventh Heaven. She went down the stairs to meet her best friend. As she walked towards the bar from the landing, she smiled as she saw the spiky blond hair passing through the door. His boots softly padded on the floor, as if he was careful not to wake anyone to his arrival. He needn't have bothered anyway; Tifa was always awake waiting for him. She walked towards him with her smile in tact wanting to ask him if he had eaten already.
Someday I just know that
Cloud saw a pair of slipper-clad feet as he entered the bar. He slowly looked up the form of Tifa Lockheart and finally gazed at her rose-red eyes.
He stopped dead on his tracks.
She was smiling at him and was disarmingly beautiful from where he was standing. All thoughts about his confession came flooding to his head one after the other, silencing him.
Tifa saw Cloud watch her through those cerulean-blue eyes. He had his usual blank look and the silence around him was deafening. He was waiting for her to speak, it seems.
"Have you had anything to eat yet?" she started conversation casually.
"… No…" it was sometimes considered a miracle to get Cloud to reply to her questions. One-sided conversations were his favorites.
"I'll get dinner warmed up then…" and with that, Tifa turned towards the kitchen, about to prepare for his meal.
He mutely followed her to the kitchen inwardly berating himself for behaving as he did a moment ago with her. He was speechless around her again. He sat down on the table as he watched her progress with his dish. She was treating him the way she normally did, with that smile on her face.
Love will lead you back to my arms where you belong
The delicious smell of dinner wafted to his nose. Thoughts about his beautiful 'best friend' momentarily floated away.
And it came back full force when he remembered it was his beautiful 'best friend' who cooked that delicious dinner. She turned towards him again, his dinner held in her right hand.
"Here, eat up", she told him, with the smile still intact.
He dug in his meal and resolved to go on with his plan after he ate. He might have lesser chances of casualties if he was well fed. He finished dinner with record time and was currently trying hard not to fidget and get too nervous.
"Uh, Tifa?", he heard his voice croak.
"Yes, Cloud?", she asked innocently, the eternal smile still on her face.
I'm Sure
Cloud continued with a blank expression on his face.
"Can I talk to you about something?" he tried hard not to gulp and look nervous.
At this, Tifa looked skeptical.
"Uh, sure. What is it about?", she asked uncertainly.
"I'll tell you outside", Cloud turned around and started to walk outside the kitchen.
Cloud hoped she would follow him. After a few moments, she heard her follow him albeit hesitantly.
Sure as stars are shining
Cloud continued walking out of the bar and towards a section of the city where civilization seemed to end. Here, trees stood tall and sturdy under the moonlight's silvery radiance. He looked around and saw that the place had a neat little hut that seemed out of place near the city. But since this was the outskirts of Midgar, he figured it probably had a right to be there. It was old and looked as if nobody's lived in it for how many years. It had shackled up windows and it was missing a door. The walls were covered with moss and vines and the roof were missing shingles and had holes in them.
And there, not far away from the lonely hut, was a well.
'You have got to be kidding me. It was Night at Nibelheim Under the Starry Skies all over again!'
Cloud walked towards the well. Soft tufts of grass surrounded the well that was covered in green slippery moss. The well wasn't barred up; on the contrary, Cloud peered over the edges and watched his reflection look back at him with that cowardly stoic face.
He watched his unemotional expression and tried to feel about the feelings of others when they faced him.
He gave up and turned his head upwards.
It was raining chocobos just a few minutes ago, but it looked as if it never did. The ground and the leaves on the trees were the only dead give-away that it had been raining. But other than that, the sky looked down on him innocently.
A sky that was full of stars.
One day you will find me again
"Cloud?"
Cloud turned around and saw an anxious Tifa walk towards him. He nodded towards her and watched her as she made her way towards him.
"Are you feeling alright? It might have been the rain, you know." Tifa asked him, concerned for his welfare more than he was.
"It's okay…"
"Oh, I thought you caught a cold or something. You needed the fresh air…"
It wont be long
"Tifa, I-…
Tifa watched him closely, curious at his stammering.
"I'm staying."
The girl's eyes widened at his sudden announcement.
"I'm staying here…" he continued.
One of these days our love will lead you back
"I'm staying here… for good."
"Was it something I said before? Cloud, you shouldn't think about that, I was- I was just…"
"It's okay Tifa, I thought about this."
But I won't try
To stop you now from leaving
"No, really Cloud. You should do what you really want. It's not my place to say-"
Cloud only quirked his eyebrows up at her.
"Oh… alright…" she finally let up.
Coz in my heart I know
"What made you decide to stay anyway?"
Tifa walked towards the well, sitting beside him.
"Aeris…"
A flash of pain passed Tifa's eyes which Cloud failed to notice.
"Zack… the gang… Denzel and Marlene…
You…"
Tifa only nodded.
Love will lead back
"Tifa, I've been meaning to tell you…"
Cloud breathed nervously, his voice almost came out unheard.
Tifa leaned in closer to him to catch his words.
"What is it, Cloud?"
Why did she have to look up at him innocently?
Someday I just know that
"These couple of days, I've been at Aeris' church and I've been doing a lot of thinking…"
"Yes, I know."
Cloud gulped and continued, "I've finally decided that I shouldn't keep it hidden from you anymore and that I need you to know that…"
Tifa cast her eyes down. Here it was. Finally. The day Cloud Strife told her that he was forever pining away after Aeris Gainsborough and that no woman should hope for more than that.
Love will lead you back to my arms where you belong
"Well, ever since we were children I've always been-"
Tifa looked up at him with curious eyes. Aeris wasn't part of their childhood, why was he bringing that up?
"And I've always felt… that I should protect you… and the day that you -we- fell on that bridge… Well, it made me realize just how important it was fro me to protect you, to always be behind you to… You know… Be there when you get into trouble…"
Tifa still couldn't get to where he was going with this.
Cloud gulped again. His face was contorted into a series of expressions all jumbled up like the things he was saying.
I'm Sure
"And that was when I was sure that I should join Soldier… because I felt the need to protect you Tifa…"
Cloud glanced at Tifa and knew that she still didn't get to the bottom of what he was trying to say.
Sure as stars are shining
"You do remember that night at Nibelhiem, don't you? The night I promised you that I would-"
"Well, yes… Of course…"
"Uh… I promised I would come back and protect you right? Well, I realize we haven't talked about it ever since and I apologize now, Teef… For not coming back…"
One day you will find me again
"What are you talking about, Cloud? You came back. You-
"No, you found me Teef…"
"Oh… Well… That doesn't matter, as long as you came back, right?"
"Well, yes… But to me, it did… I feel as if I didn't really fulfill my promise…"
Tifa reached out to touch his arms, "Well, you're here now, you came back."
Tifa smiled at him and he felt himself grow extremely nervous, more nervous than he had been a few moments ago.
It won't be long
"A-And all the time we've been together Teef… I wanted to tell you that- that I survived every fight that came our way because you were there… I had the guts to hope for victory because of you… I wanted to live through all of it because I needed to- to protect you and be there for you… I always came back even though all of you thought that I was never going to… I came back for you… I wanted to be with you every moment of- I… I want to tell you that I-… I guess, what I'm trying to say is that-
I Love You… Tifa Lockheart…
A-and I want to know if you feel the same way about me too…"
A cool breeze wafted by…
Tifa Lockheart was speechless…
Cloud Strife watched her astonished face and waited for her answer.
It seemed as if he was hanging on to her words… He was hanging on to her words, as if his life depended on it. No buster sword or material was going to help him now…
And Tifa still hadn't said anything, and she didn't show any signs of talking soon.
Cloud felt the beginning of pain stab through his heart…
Here he was telling the love of his life everything about his feeling from the day he set eyes on her at Nibelhiem until today, this very moment, looking up at him… speechless.
He couldn't blame her for not reciprocating his feelings. But he hoped she would at least say something…
He had already decided that if she couldn't- wouldn't say anything, he would just save her the trouble and speak for the both of them. To clear things up.
"Uh… If you feel that way then I- I can't blame you. I hope what I said won't change the way you treat me now, Teef… And I- I hope you wouldn't put this between our friendship… Uh… Let's just forget I said anything alright?"
Cloud was about to turn away when he saw Tifa's mouth open, about to speak.
Tifa was astounded beyond belief. Here was Cloud, the one man she loved the most, telling her that he loved her.
He LOVED HER!
HE LOVED HER!
This had never crossed her mind…
At last, after how many years of waiting, he finally opened up to her.
He told her he loved her…
Cloud spoke again but she couldn't hear him. If he talked about his feelings then it was about time she talked about her feelings too.
"Cloud…"
Cloud stopped and watched her earnestly.
"I- I need to tell you something too…
I love you too, Cloud Strife… I've loved you ever since we were at Nibelhiem and I love you more than I can ever allow myself to-"
She didn't get to finish.
Cloud had claimed her lips and kissed her gently.
She unconsciously felt her eyelids drop and felt Cloud's arms wrap themselves around her body…
She felt her own arms enfold themselves around his neck.
She brushed her hands through Cloud's spiky hair and savored the feeling of finally being able to touch him like this.
There never was a happier night for the two of them.
One of these days our love will lead you back