30 Reasons Why I Hate Edward
By - CloudStrife'sMartialArtist
Disclaimer - I do not own any Twilight characters. All rights go to Stephenie Meyer.
Rating - T for mild language
Author's Note - Hehe, as you can tell by the title, I don't like Edward. Well, I mean, I do like him, but then I don't. Does that make sense? There's times when I just can't stand him! And this is one of those times. I like him more in the book than in the movie. I am not liable for anything said in here that offends y'all. Don't sue. I don't have any money =).
Enjoy,
CSMA
1. He's ugly.
2. His hair is freckin' annoying. No one wants to touch hair that feels like a rock! (He should really use Axe hair gel and maybe he'd get some hair action!)
3. He's too cold. I would rather be burnin' up than freezing my buns off.
4. He never lets Bella have any fun. So what if it's life threatening. That's just half the fun!
5. He hates Jacob, so, therefore, I hate him.
6. He never lets Bella have her say. It's his way or the highway.
7. He's self-righteous.
8. He has painted on abs! (This is regarding Robert Pattinson, but he's still Edward so. . . )
9. He talks like it's still the early 1900's.
10. He's smug.
11. He needs to get over himself.
12. Just 'cause Mike likes Bella doesn't mean he has to hate on him.
13. He doesn't have to whine about not being able to hear Bella's thoughts. It's just annoying.
14. He needs to stop asking Bella what she's thinking. He doesn't have to know all the time!
15. He doesn't have to be so dramatic.
16. It's not like he won't be able to live without Bella. He did it before, didn't he?
17. He needs to step out of the spotlight and give it to Jacob. At least Jacob is something nice to look at.
18. If he really loved Bella, he would stay out of her life.
19. He needs to quit hatin' on the wolf pack.
20. He needs to do something about Rosalie. If he really, really loved Bella, he'd make sure that little bitch would leave Bella alone.
21. He needs to work out more.
22. He needs to shave his chest. Who like's a hairy chest? I know I don't.
23. He needs to get a job! Poor Carlisle has to do all the work.
24. Asking Bella to marry him is an all-time low.
25. He won't be able to give Bella children that aren't monsters. (No offense to Reneesme. I love her!)
26. Trying to spoil Bella by giving her everything won't work. He can't give her everything. Money doesn't buy happiness.
27. He broke Bella's heart into tiny little pieces.
28. He needs to violate the treaty so Jacob has a legitimate reason to whoop his skinny little ass.
29. He won't change Bella himself 'cause he's a coward.
30. He's the most selfish person I never had the pleasure of meeting.
Haha, sorry if I offened anyone. I just got through watching New Moon and I got worked up into a frenzy, so. . . Yeah. . . I may add more to this list later on. Anyways, if you want to send me some reasons why you hate Edward, I'd love to hear why! And as always,
Lots of LURVE,
Shawna