The room was empty in front of Amy as she breathed quietly. In her hand, her new copy of the saddest book she had ever read hung limply at a safe distance away from her. She hadn't ever felt such a connection to a book before, her chest literally ached. She was torn between wanting to throw the book at the opposite wall or caressing it for dear life in her grasp.
Tears streamed down her face.
This was not good. Sheldon was supposed to be there any minute, and she was sure she was a mess. The motivation to go and clean herself up was long gone. All she wanted to o was sit and mourn for a fictional character that wasn't even real.
The book made him seem so real she wanted to scream.
Books were supposed to be happy, pleasant, enjoyable. She couldn't even bring herself to finish it. Sheldon was a welcome distraction once he knocked on her door, anything to take her mind off of the fact that she hadn't yet finished the book.
She set it down and went to go greet her boyfriend at the door.
When Sheldon saw the tears streaming down Amy's face, his expression was nothing less than a deer caught in headlights. Amy knew he was never good with the weepy, maybe she should have cleaned up before answering the door after all.
Even though her back was to the book that laid in the middle of her apartment, she could almost feel it taunting her. It was driving her nuts.
To her surprise, Sheldon set down the bag in his hand slowly and hesitantly opened up his arms. The question on her lips dies the moment he nodded to her and smiled gently.
In his arms she began to feel his shirt moisten with her tears. She didn't care, books were life, and when someone dies in life, people were meant to mourn. She could not apologize.
"I'm good, I'm sorry," she mumbled while pulling away a few beats later and sniffling slightly. She could hear Sheldon sigh in relief and visibly he relaxed, picking his bag back up off the ground and walking into her apartment.
He immediately went to her kettle and began preparing tea for them.
Amy smiled lightly to herself, the routine she and Sheldon had was special to them and only them, and she really did love it. He was so thoughtful and wonderful when they spent time together she still couldn't believe he was hers sometimes.
It was almost enough to keep her mind off the book for a while.
"...But Barry said he was on the right track, and although I don't necessarily trust his judgment, according to President Seibert, there's nothing I can do about it..." Sheldon went on, his eyes glazing above his steaming mug as he glanced to Amy tiredly. The week had been difficult for him, but he could easily tell Amy was still a bit distracted.
"Are you okay?" he asked her, suddenly forgetting about their previous conversation. Her eyes snapped back up to his and she looked to him sheepishly before returning her gaze to the same spot it had been on the whole evening.
Something over there was bothering her.
"What is it?" his voice gentle, Sheldon reached his hand across the kitchen island and clasped his hand over hers in an effort to bring her back to him. She shook her head slowly before smiling at him with sad eyes, and for the first time in a long time Sheldon felt physical pain in his chest, and not from exercise either.
"It's... nothing." Amy told him with a wave of her hand, attempting to reassure him with what even he could tell was a forced smile. He stared back at her with a raised eyebrow until he could tell when she gave up, slouching and sighing once again.
"...I read this book earlier, that's all." Before replying, Sheldon wrapped his free hand around the hot mug and remained silent. He had never seen someone so upset over a book accept MeeMaw, but that's because she read romance novels after his PopPop died. So he asked her if it was one of those, and she sighed again with a heavy heart.
"Kind of... you probably wouldn't like to hear me go on and on about it." she rambled on, and Sheldon listened with complete and total interest. Anything that made her that upset should be made known to him, how else was he supposed to keep her happy?
"By all means." Extending his free hand out over the table, Sheldon looked to Amy hopefully. She looked stunned for a moment, and slowly shifted herself in her chair. Their clasped hands separated in the process.
"I know I shouldn't be this upset... but one of the main characters died and I just got kind of attached to him and his girlfriend... this whole thing is silly." Every time Amy apologized for something like that Sheldon felt a need to reassure her somehow, but in that moment he was rendered speechless. As Amy went on and on about character descriptions and how much the fictional relationship meant to her, he had a growing desire to read the book himself.
She made it come alive for him, and the grieving was horrible.
Towards the end of her explanation, Amy got up and crossed the room. When she returned to the kitchen, the book was in her hands and after holding it close to her chest, she carefully slid it over to him. He examined the title carefully.
The cover had a calming feeling to it, the background a simple blue and two shapes of clouds on it. In the shapes were one word each, Okay. The cover had him wondering about it's significance but he could tell how just the sight of the cover had Amy on the brink of tears.
She was still rambling, even in her slightly choked voice.
There came a time when Amy was legitimately crying too hard to continue, and she somewhat collapsed on the floor below him. Sheldon, after getting up, knelled to her and stroked her hair gently, whispering to her how it was going to be okay.
She hiccuped and nodded weakly, sniffling and clenching her stomach as the tears continued to fall. Even Sheldon had a few tears trailing down his cheeks the moment he saw how hurt Amy was over this.
Why did books have to be so emotional?
Sometime later, when Sheldon had switched to sitting on his bottom and had been for far too long, he asked Amy if she was ready to get up yet. She nodded just barely and with his help made it to her feet safely.
She was shivering.
Amy stood rather helplessly in the middle of her apartment after that, as Sheldon walked over to the couch swiftly and retrieved the bag he had brought. Instead of taking out it's contents, he simply handed it to her with a hopeful gaze.
Inside the bag was a somewhat small blanket that was softer than Amy had ever felt before. She couldn't help but smile at the kitten on the front of it, with the words "soft kitty" under it in her favorite color. Although she wasn't sick she found the gesture incredibly sweet.
Before she could do anything with it, Sheldon took it from her with careful hands and folded it in half. She watched in silence and held her breath the moment he placed it over her shoulders.
Instant warmth traveled through her body and on instinct, Amy grabbed Sheldon's hand and pulled him closer to her. This was the sweetest thing he had done for her in a while, and in order to show her thanks, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her face into his chest in a hug that was meant to show her gratitude.
When she felt his hands move to her hips she knew she was at home, in his arms, and nothing else mattered. Although books were life, they weren't the reality she was living.
This was the reality she was living, and it was a pretty sweet one indeed.