First Kiss

Disclaimer: Joss Weadon owns all things Firefly.

Summery: The long awaited kisses

Pairings: S/K, M/I

River was sitting on the couch outside the infirmary. She was watching Simon as he went about checking his supplies. The images she was seeing confused her. Of course River was often confused. She was smart, but she could see things and feel things the others didn't. Captain Reynolds called her a reader. She could see things that others were thinking. She didn't mean to do it, most of the time, although it did come in handy once or twice. But she wasn't going to tell Simon that. At this moment all that ability was doing, was confusing her. She was confused because the only thought in Simon's head was her friend, Kaylee.

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"She's not going to know unless you tell her"

Now it was Simon's turn to be confused. River had startled him. He had forgotten she was there. He had been thinking about Kaylee again. No thinking was too rational a word. He, Dr. Simon Tam, had been daydreaming. He hadn't daydreamed since he was five. There had been to much work to do.

"Who won't know what, River?" Simon asked hoping whatever tangent River was on wasn't anything to do with what he had been thinking about. No DEFINITELY didn't want his baby sister a party to some of his thoughts. They hadn't been dirty, exactly. In fact to Inara many would have been downright prudish. But still....in his mind she had tasted so wonderful...and NO Simon do not go there you have nothing to offer that she doesn't already have and you're worse off. YOU are a fugitive.

"Kaylee" was River's infuriatingly simple reply.

"What won't Kaylee know," Simon asked as he walked over and knelt down in front of her.

"You're in love with her" her statement hit him like a bombshell.

Simon blushed and stuttered "I-I-I-I ... H-H-How ..."

"You are." River looked at him blankly "Didn't you know?" Not waiting for an answer River got up and walked away. leaving a very stunned Simon still kneeling in front of the couch.

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Simon had been trying to forget his conversation with River all afternoon. She's not going to know unless you tell her. It had been screaming in his brain all day long. Surely Kaylee knew how he felt about her. He'd told her, hadn't he?

"...it don't mean nothing out here in the black."

"it means more out here its the only way I can show you I like you..."

Was he really in love with her? Yes, if he was really honest with himself, he had to admit he was. She was beautiful, even when, no especially when, she was covered in engine grease and , he hair messy, her face split with that trademark grin, her eyes sparkling with life and hope and laughter. Some times he envied her that freedom and zest for life. He would have to bump into the captain just then. He liked Mal. Simon just didn't want to deal with him right then.

"Sorry" Simon mumbled as he wandered his way to the engine room without even knowing it, lost in his thoughts about Kaylee. River was right. He did have to do SOMETHING. And he was going to. He just didn't know what he was going to do.

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The good doctor had something on his mind. To the point where he was completely out of it. The Captain had just caught him wandering around the ship when he should have been watching his sister. That girl worried him sometimes. She was in fact sitting very quietly in the galley at the moment. THAT made him almost as nervous as her ranting. Although the time she had sliced open Jayne's chest she hadn't ranted, she'd simply done it. Speaking of Jayne, he had been uncharacteristically smart and given the girl a wide berth. Shepherd Book had been the only one brave enough to ask her why she was being so quiet. What had her reply been ? Nothing. Simon's thinking. It had taken Captain Malcolm Reynolds all of 10 seconds to figure out what was occupying the mind of the doctor: Kaylee. Lets just see how serious he is...Mal was stopped mid-thought by the hand of his first mate. When had Zoe showed up? He really needed to pay closer attention when thinking.

"Leave the boy alone, Mal. He's nervous enough without you harassing him," Zoe gave Mal a knowing look and said, "and Kaylee doesn't need a big brother."

"Who said I was going to harass him?"

"No one, Sarge. Just thought I'd nip it in the bud before you gave it any thought."

Mal grinned. "Thanks for the advice, Zoe. I'll ...."

"She won't thank you. She's a sweet girl, but this has gone a long way passed a simple crush." With that statement Zoe continued on to the bridge to see Wash, leaving Mal in the hall.

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After Zoe left him he stood there thinking. As he turned to do exactly what Zoe had accused him of he jumped when he found himself face to face with Inara. She can't leave. The thought left as quickly as it had come. She would leave, no matter what he did. He had no claim to her after all.

"Zoe's right. Kaylee won't thank you if you interfere. Besides I hardly think that Simon is going to try to ravage her. He wouldn't find it proper," Inara observed with a little smile. "Frankly I'd be more worried about Kaylee trying to ravage Simon." And then INARA left Mal standing there watching her leave. Everyone seemed to be doing that to him today. After she had turned the corner and was reasonably sure she was out of earshot Inara said "Besides you have no right to lecture anyone on trifling with a woman's heart." Damn it. Why did I have to fall in love with him. Its getting harder. I have to leave soon...

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Mal was staring at where Inara had been. When had he fallen for her. He knew a long time ago that nothing meant anything. Nothing but the freedom to go into the black. But she meant something, and that scared him. Scared him more than anything else, even his memories of Serenity Valley.

"Don't let her go. She is the heart." By all the powers in the 'Verse he was getting tired of people reading his mind. But River didn't stop. She just kept going.

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Simon Tam had never been this nervous. Not even on Ariel. You'd think he was planning on PROPOSING. All he was going to do was say three little words. He was a DOCTOR for crying out loud, how hard could it be? He was at the engine room now watching her do what did best, and he answered his own unspoken question. Very.

"Simon?" Kaylee had seen him and was now walking towards him with a streak of grease across her nose. and her hair in wild array about her face, and dear God her lips looked soft and ...

Without even realizing he was doing it Simon leaned down and kissed her. Surprising himself as much as her. It was soft and gentle and light and sweet and had, despite its brevity, rocked him to his core. Now I'm Paralyzed. I've been nailed to the floor. Dear God I'm drowning. Strange thoughts for a doctor to have.

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She was dead. No. No, not dead. Dead couldn't feel that good. She must be dreaming. That had to be it. She had spaced out with working on Serenity. Does he HAVE to look that good even if this is a dream? If she blinked would it all be over? Would he still be there? She decided to try. Kaylee blinked.

Nope this was real, VERY real. Finally.

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Deep Breaths you practiced this. You know exactly what you want to say. So just Say it.

"I know I have nothing but myself to offer you, you deserve better. River is my responsibility and we are fugitives, and if we get caught again, it is very likely that River will be taken away and I'll be killed. You understand that, don't you?"

Simon took a breath to start to say more, but Kaylee knew everything he was going to say she had heard the list a thousand times from her own mind. But as the Captain once said There isn't enough power in the verse to stop out Kaylee from being cheerful. She didn't need to hear the rutting list.

She kissed him. This kiss lasted much longer and carried with it both fear and understanding. He was afraid for her and River and himself and she understood the risks. When the kiss ended. Simon stepped back and said "I love you, Kaywinnet Lee"

"I love you, too, Simon Tam."

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He couldn't let her leave, not after everything they had been through. Mal knocked on the door to Inara's shuttle.

"Enter"

She turned and looked at him. and his hands captured her face and he kissed her. He kissed her and knew it would make no difference anyway. He just had to stop her somehow. Kaylee needed her, and River responded to her. She had even become friends with the shepherd.

"Don't go" he whispered. "We need you, please don't go." and he left her standing there to decide afraid to look at her for fear that he would see in her eyes that nothing had changed. Nothing ever changed out here in the black.