Ok, so i wrote this on a whim, it's just a random idea I got in my head during chemistry so I wrote it down real quick and this is what came of it. I needed a brief hiatus from my K2 story so I guess this was it. I hope you like it, I don't own South Park and that good stuff. This time I won't beg for reviews so I sound less annoying, but thanks for reading!
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Why did you have to die? We all miss you but you haven't come back. Normally when you die you're back within hours but it's been a month and you're still not here. Why haven't you come back? I know you have probably died for the last time but I can't help but cling to the hope that I'll show up at the bus stop any day now and you'll be standing there in your parka with your hood up muffling your speech saying how you got caught up in one of the weird situations we've found ourselves in since we were five.
We never talk anymore, but everything we do as a group reminds me of you. It's so lonely without you, even with other friends there's the blank space that Butters will never truly fill. He isn't you, no one can compare to you, you were one of a kind and I'll never find someone like you again in a million years. No one has ever said it but we all miss you, even Cartman's upset to an extent. We've had a month to get used to it being just us but I think we will always notice your absence.
I took you for granted Kenny, and I'm so sorry for that. Now that you're gone I realize how much you meant to me and I would trade anything to have you back, even if it was only for one day so I could get a chance to say goodbye, but I know that's not going to happen. The moment your parents called mine and said we were invited to your funeral I knew you weren't coming back; your parents had never given you a funeral every other time you died. I'm too young to already have gone to my friend's funeral; I wasn't expecting that to happen until I was much older. If you were watching the funeral I'm sorry I didn't cry, and don't think that it means I don't care, I care more than you'll ever know, I was just in shock.
After my 'super best friend' finally got serious with his girlfriend our friendship was never the same, I told you this a million times, so in a way you were more of a friend then he was. Sure it was true that you had many girlfriends, if you could even call them that, but you never blew me off to be with them. I wish I had been there when it happened, then maybe I could have prevented it, I would have easily sacrificed my life for yours. You meant too much to me I can't believe you're gone, I just can't accept the facts even though they have already smacked me right in the face. You were always so full of life, when you weren't dead that is, and I can't even express in words how much I miss you. The way you smiled, the way you laughed, the way we had the same sense of humor, we were perfect together and I was getting ready to tell you that when you left. People say that you felt the same way about me but how would they know? Nobody knew you that well and I found it amazing that I knew all I possibly could about you without really knowing anything at the same time.
They had a memorial for you at school in the auditorium, it was supposed to make everyone feel better but I felt much worse, it was just even more proof that you were gone. I was supposed to talk; they wanted your close friends to say a few words but I could barely get anything out. They would never understand what kind of friend you were, how much you meant to me, they just would never be able to understand the connection we had. I never finished talking, I began thinking about how perfect everything seemed when we were younger and broke down into tears wishing I could go back to that time. I ran off the stage and cried alone in the bathroom until it was time to go home. If my parents only knew I had skipped my classes, well then I would be dead too. I wish that I was sometimes, just so I could see your face again, it was always hidden behind your hood and I never got to see it enough, you should have taken your hood down more often.
I don't know what happens when you die, but I hope you're happy no matter where you are, you deserve to be happy. You always used to tell me that you were going to hell when you died for real, you had convinced yourself that you were and were completely happy with that fact. I hope when I die I go to hell too; I can't go to heaven that's too far away from you. No, I wasn't trying to sound gay and rhyme that's just the way it came out, and I know you'd probably laugh and say 'that's what she said' if anyone ever said that to you out loud.
I'm not writing this to help me forget you, I never will, there's just so much left unsaid, so much you should have known. I wish I could mail this to you, but I don't think they have a post office in hell, and I highly doubt you're a ghost reading this over my shoulder, but writing this is better than nothing. If only you could see me, you would be making fun of me, can you actually believe you were friends with a guy who's crying like a girl over a few unspoken words. I don't care that you won't be able to read this. I'll keep it with me at all times, maybe someday when we meet again it will still be in my pocket and I will finally be able to give it to you, but that won't happen unless I finish writing it. Kenneth James McCormick I love you every little thing you did only increased my love for you whether you would have wanted this or not. I will see you again one day, I swear I will and when that day comes I will tell you out loud and hope for the best. Until then my love, rest in peace.