Title: The Stars In Her Eyes
Author: Stexgirl2000
Email:Stexgirl2000@yahoo.com
Rating: PG-13.
Disclaimers: I don't own any part of Enterprise or the whole Star Trek
universe, so don't sue my ass as this is for fun, not profit.
Category: Angst
Codes: A/S
Spoilers: If you don't know the Xindi storyline, don't read.
Summary: Archer contemplates the stars and what they mean to him.
Author's Note: Un-beta'd. Written when I couldn't sleep at 2 a.m.
Archive: The LD has permission, it can stay at Fanfiction.net. Anyone
else, just ask me first and have all the right headers.
***
Even in the Expanse, the stars are beautiful.
Despite the weight of responsibility that threatens to topple him over, he is still drawn to them. As the hours blend into each other, as time ticks away in a scream of anger, Jon finds that even now the urge to pause and admire the stars pulls and plucks at him. It is an old habit, now poisoned by the blood on his hands, the burden on his soul.
When he was a child, the stars represented hope, adventure, promise.
Now, when he contemplates them, the stars seem to shine the way to death, destruction, innocence lost. Only for a few fleeting seconds, does their light sing to his soul.
The moment passes all to quickly and stars shine as if coated in blood.
He's not sure if he can ever regain the wonder lost.
A sigh and the rustle of sheets make him turn. Hoshi nuzzles a pillow, her hair a river of black against the pristine sheets.
Gazing at her, Jon wonders, not for the first time, if he's made a mistake, being with her, sleeping with her. She is his star, his anchor to the man he once was.
He knows that it isn't fair, expecting to find his way back through her body, through her admiration of him, but selfishness swamps his best intentions. She makes him feel something more than anger, than desperation. He'll take the respite whenever he can.
Hoshi stirs again and this time her eyes open, a sleepy smile making her face shine. "Jon...come back to bed."
He manages a small smile, too rare on his face these days, so he knows. It hurts to smile sometimes, but for her, he will. "You miss me?" He sits on the bed and her arms pull him down.
"Yes, I miss you. You're warm and I'm feeling cold." She nuzzles his neck, her hands tracing a lazy pattern across his body. Soon she will be making love to him again and he knows he does not deserve what she is giving him, this precious gift of herself.
He knows but won't give it up.
She pulls back and runs a hand through his hair. "We're going to make it Jon. I know we will. I have faith in you."
Hoshi looks up at him, the starlight gleaming in the depths of her brown eyes. Her trust in him is almost physically painful. How can she have faith in him when all he can see is death and failure? When there are times that his own actions have sickened him? He'll do anything to make sure the Earth survives, anything, even if it means that he's damned to his own special hell.
The stars shine in Hoshi's eyes and as her lips meet his, Jon can only hope that he doesn't come to view her the same way as the does the stars: red with blood and dulled by his sins.
***
Even in the Expanse, the stars are beautiful.
Despite the weight of responsibility that threatens to topple him over, he is still drawn to them. As the hours blend into each other, as time ticks away in a scream of anger, Jon finds that even now the urge to pause and admire the stars pulls and plucks at him. It is an old habit, now poisoned by the blood on his hands, the burden on his soul.
When he was a child, the stars represented hope, adventure, promise.
Now, when he contemplates them, the stars seem to shine the way to death, destruction, innocence lost. Only for a few fleeting seconds, does their light sing to his soul.
The moment passes all to quickly and stars shine as if coated in blood.
He's not sure if he can ever regain the wonder lost.
A sigh and the rustle of sheets make him turn. Hoshi nuzzles a pillow, her hair a river of black against the pristine sheets.
Gazing at her, Jon wonders, not for the first time, if he's made a mistake, being with her, sleeping with her. She is his star, his anchor to the man he once was.
He knows that it isn't fair, expecting to find his way back through her body, through her admiration of him, but selfishness swamps his best intentions. She makes him feel something more than anger, than desperation. He'll take the respite whenever he can.
Hoshi stirs again and this time her eyes open, a sleepy smile making her face shine. "Jon...come back to bed."
He manages a small smile, too rare on his face these days, so he knows. It hurts to smile sometimes, but for her, he will. "You miss me?" He sits on the bed and her arms pull him down.
"Yes, I miss you. You're warm and I'm feeling cold." She nuzzles his neck, her hands tracing a lazy pattern across his body. Soon she will be making love to him again and he knows he does not deserve what she is giving him, this precious gift of herself.
He knows but won't give it up.
She pulls back and runs a hand through his hair. "We're going to make it Jon. I know we will. I have faith in you."
Hoshi looks up at him, the starlight gleaming in the depths of her brown eyes. Her trust in him is almost physically painful. How can she have faith in him when all he can see is death and failure? When there are times that his own actions have sickened him? He'll do anything to make sure the Earth survives, anything, even if it means that he's damned to his own special hell.
The stars shine in Hoshi's eyes and as her lips meet his, Jon can only hope that he doesn't come to view her the same way as the does the stars: red with blood and dulled by his sins.