Peace and Peace?

by Dixieland Delight

Have you ever been disgusted by an orc head on a pike? Have you ever wished for peace in Middle Earth? What about an Attack Mordor? No! bumper sticker? I present THE LORD OF THE RINGS, sans the violence, sans the plot.

PEACE AND... PEACE?

On a lovely spring morning, Frodo is walking in a vast, green, flowering field. He is going nowhere in particular and thinking nothing in particular, except perhaps the occasional I do so love spring! All of a sudden, he spots another person walking in the field. He breaks into a wide smile and skips up to the person, saying "Why, hello, Sauron!"

Sauron, a tall individual wearing a long, flowing robe of a magnificent purple, smiles benevolently.

"Good morning, Frodo! I have been looking for my evil Ring of Power. Have you seen it?"

Frodo scratches his head and racks his brains. "Hm," he says. Sauron looks concerned.

"Oh, but you have no need to go out of your way looking for it! I would hate to disrupt your day!" he says. Frodo smiles.

"Actually, I have it right here! Would you like it back so you can enslave the entire population to be your slaves, working for your evil purposes?" He proffers the Ring to Sauron in cupped hands.

"No, no. You must keep it!" Frodo brightens.

"Really?" he asks.

Sauron waves his hands, one with only four fingers, at Frodo.

"Keep it, destroy it, and kill me."

"I wouldn't want to kill anyone. How about we use it for good?" Frodo suggests. Sauron smiles sadly.

"Ah, Frodo. You cannot use the Ring for good!"

Frodo looks thoughtful. He takes the Ring out of his pocket, closes his eyes, and rubs it between his fingers.

"If I have to destroy it... Not that I want to destroy anything, mind you."

Sauron and Frodo walk slowly to a rolling green hill with a long fissure of rich brown earth.

"Goodbye, Sauron," Frodo says sadly, tears running down his cheeks. Sauron and Frodo hug, and Frodo drops the Ring into the glorified hole. There is a bright flash of light, and Sauron disappears. Frodo sighs dejectedly, and turns away.

However, there is another burst of light. Frodo looks confused, and turns back around. There, looking a bit more ruffled and dirty than before, stands Sauron. Frodo breaks into a grin and hugs Sauron. They link arms and skip away in the vast, grassy field, into the golden sunset.

FIN.