This is an experimental story I had in my head in a while. I think no one appreciates a divergence from canon but I like to think that there aren't enough funny Baka and Test Stories. If there are, then most of them are not updated or are dropped.
So let me provide a different kind of 'Baka' in this story.
You guys don't have to read. I just wanted to take a twist for one of the funniest anime I have watched.
A Different Kind of Idiot
By Alewar Warinot
Disclaimer: I don't own the story. Also, I don't have the imagination to make such a story.
There is difference between and idiot and a fool.
"The Placement Exam… Begins!"
I look to the rest of the examinees in the room. All of them have different reactions to the test.
"Ah..."
But I didn't think one of them would actually faint in the middle of the test.
"Himeji-san!"
I called out but the teacher in-charge of the exam stopped me from helping.
"If you are not feeling well… you should go to the nurse's office."
However, the moment you leave the room with the test still going on.
"If you do leave, then you will automatically fail the test."
Himeji had no choice but to leave.
"I'm sorry… I'm leaving..."
At that time… I think this exam was stupid. Even now… I still think it was stupid.
My friends disagree though…
Even my Vitriolic Best Bud thinks so too.
"I'll just use my favorite pencil for this exam."
But I think they are all wrong.
"It's not like taking this seriously will set me for life."
I decided my own path in life.
Then the classes are decided for us.
"You are late." Iron man caught me as I was making my way to class.
"Good morning, Iron man." Of course calling him by his hated nickname is asking for trouble. But he will give me a pass.
"Did you really just call me Iron Man?"
I played innocent and placated his anger. Although I knew I wasn't really sorry about it. I can tell from the way he creases his brow that he really doesn't believe me one bit.
"Here you go," In the end, he handed me my class schedule.
"Arigatou, Sensei."
"Why is it that you respect me for the smallest of things?"
"Because I know you care about this things more than anyone else."
He stared at me as I looked at my pamphlet.
"If you say things like that… then it makes me feel like you aren't really an idiot."
"Nope." I denied with a smile on my face as I showed him may class.
"Still an idiot. Which means you will probably be our homeroom teacher, right?"
In this school, grades decide which class we are in. It was a successful alma mater adopted from something or another. I never really cared enough to know these things.
Anyways, the gist of it is that this school gives you summoned beings who fight for you in a battle using the scores you have made during exams.
Of course, I joined immediately because I thought it was school to treat our scores like an RPG. Unfortunately, that was a mistake I didn't foresee at that time. I don't regret it now but I still believe that grades are all that matter in the world.
I entered my Class with my head held high.
"Morning Everyone." I greeted with a smile on my face.
And the place looked like a third world classroom.
I mean, no offense but I've seen better classrooms than this.
Don't believe me? Our tables are literally tables used for tea ceremonies!
"..."
Actually, I can think of worse tools to give us as tables so I can't really complain much.
"Get to your seat maggot!"
And this guy who eloquently called me out is my best bud Yuuji.
"Morning to you too, so why are you so high and mighty today?"
"I'm the class representative for the whole class! So I will be ordering you all around like my personal peons!"
Don't be fooled by his power high… he is actually a jerk to a loathsome degree.
"As long as you can control these bunch of misfits then order me around your dictatorship,"
It is no secret that we are the best of buds.
"It feels really heavy all of a sudden."
"Are they really friends?"
The skeptics behind me just don't get how great of a friend Yuuji is. But I don't really expect them to be close to him as I have.
"I knew you would understand! That's why you are my favorite slave!"
Oi oi… if you say that out loud people will think we have that kind of relationship.
"Speaking of which, here Yuuji." I handed him a lunch box.
What? Never gave your friend a lunch box before? Shame on you, you obviously haven't experienced the spring of your youth yet.
"OOOOHHH! Thanks Akihisa!"
The rest of the class looked at us with disgust. But I didn't mind. This is the usual actions we take whenever we are together. Nothing different really.
That and he keeps giving me food funds so giving him lunch is no big deal.
"Get to your seats class."
After a few minutes of introduction… our teacher, who wasn't Iron man, left to get tools to fix his desk.
"You guys are here too?" I called out to my other buddies in surprise.
"Why? Hate us already?"
"Not really. Besides Yuuji, I only like you Hideyoshi."
"You know, its comments like that which make people think you are swinging for the other team."
"What are you talking about? Everyone thinks you are cute… unlike some people-"
And my spine is now well acquainted with the floor.
"Hideyoshi is a boy! And who isn't cute!? I'm the only girl here!"
"Augh! My spine isn't supposed to bend that way! Stop!"
Minami is holding me in a German suplex. The local class pervert took this chance to sneak a peek under her skirt.
"Guh!" The sound of blood being spilled fills the room… and our local voyeur is down for the count.
"Ah! Voyeur is down! We need a medic here!" I called as I hold on to my gold mine of stolen panty shots.
"I… I saw it…" And he fainted.
"Voyeur? Voyeur!? VOYEUR!"
"I am also here though," A weak voice called out. All of us turned to the new voice who graced us with their presence… and it was Himeji.
"Oh yeah," It took me a minute for this to sink in. "Wait! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!?"
"I failed the exams… remember?"
"Ah. Sorry, I kind of forgot about that." I didn't think that they would really fail Himeji because of a cold.
Some of you guys may already know who my friends are so I won't bother introducing them. I do have nicknames for them though.
Hideyoshi is My Waifu. Kouta is Voyeur. Yuuji is Best Bud. Himeji is Sweetheart. And finally Minami is Washboard-
"Hah!"
"My spine doesn't bend that way! I keep telling you it doesn't bend that way!"
After a while, I decided to have a private chat with Yuuji. Unexpectedly, he approved of my idea to launch an attack on the other classes.
So here we are… facing one of the bosses.
Class E.
To be honest, Yuuji gave a good speech to rouse our entire class to declare war onto other classes.
Of course, after a rousing speech like that. They sent me to deliver the message.
"The things I do for love,"
I entered the classroom without fear.
"I am the Ambassador from Class F. And we have come to declare war on you!"
If Yuuji saw me now. He would be so proud of me.
A few minutes later…
"They nearly teared a new hole inside of me! Yuuji! You bastard!"
I came back into class to have Yuuji console me after the beating I received from Class E.
Fortunately, everyone else was out of class and no one saw me in my pathetic state. I am not sure if I should find that reassuring. But now that I have declared war for out class… the rest is up to Yuuji.
The very next day
The plan was simple. Use Math for the War and have Himeji recover her scores from her abrupt failure from out last placement test. During the meeting I noticed someone with purple hair spying on us but I decided not to point that out.
The spy is a girl with distinct long purple hair. Class E has no one like that so I let it slide.
And now we are facing the forces of Class E.
Our three elites are on the front lines. Minami, our only mathematician in the class, takes the Vanguard while Hideyoshi and Kouta are taking the rearguard formation.
Overall, it wasn't a bad strategy to make in this Class Summoning War.
During their summoning I noticed the system is being biased towards Hideyoshi… which I approved. The CGI is awesome, much to the confusion of Hideyoshi.
The fight wasn't much to speak of as Class E tends to underestimate us from Class F. So, Minami drew first blood and Iron man has been summoned.
"Those who died… go to the remedial classroom!" He declared with all the ominousness of the avatar of death.
From that things have heated up as Class E's representative has taken the front line and ordered her troops to attack.
Of course, I am not participating in this hot blooded match to the death. Yuuji had me barricade the door with all the desk available to stop anyone from entering our room.
Of course, this also meant that none of our classmates can retreat.
.
.
.
It didn't take long for Minami to declare the breaking of their formation. Luckily, Kouta and Hideyoshi are good at being her supports and had her take a recovery test.
Unfortunately for us, both of their avatars have difficulty when it comes to control so all of their attacks end up being sloppy.
So they were forced to make a strategic retreat.
Which left the rest of our classmates as Cannon Fodder.
Guess it is time for me to make a move.
"Hold it right there Akihisa."
Unexpectedly, Yuuji called me at the most critical time for me to plan my next move.
"I want you to seat with me."
The two of us stared at each other… I agreed and took up his offer as the last of our defenses called upon their summons.
I didn't see Hideyoshi or Kouta come back to our class which meant they abandoned the battlefield. That's good. I don't want to waste my energy watching out for them.
You may think it is harsh for me to think like that. But, I have my reasons for doing so.
And I won't get to explain myself as Class E bull-rushed the door, easily dispatched our guards and are now facing the two of us.
Iron man, like the local undertaker taking corpses to be disposed of, comes inside to take the rest of our classmates to the remedial class.
"What should we do, Yuuji?" I called out calmly amidst the fiery stares of class E.
"Is this all you had to offer?" A girl's voice called out as the rest of class E parted to let said girl through. "We didn't even break a sweat. This class is such a joke."
"And you would be?"
"She is Class E's Representative Yuuji." I told him as he continued to calmly take on her glare. "I'd know cause most of my injuries are caused by her bat."
"So Class E's rep has glorified us with her presence? Isn't this great, Akihisa?"
"Well," I started as I turned my gaze to the rest of class E then to Yuuji. "I guess?"
"Care to take them on while we wait?" Yuuji ordered. His sharp eyes sees through my soul as I slowly stood.
"I haven't really introduced myself from last time," I told them as I leveled my gaze at each and every one of them. "My name is Yoshii, Akihisa. I am the Probationary Student of our year."
The gazes they are giving me hurt slightly. As if they are looking at an idiot.
"Summon."
From the depths of the school's system I called upon my own avatar to fight on this field of elites.
"As you guys already know, cause of my status, only my avatar is allowed to touch solid objects." Because they need a pack mule to help the faculty carry their stuff. "The price for this, however, is a feedback- a shock of sorts for being disobedient."
Some of them looked confused on why I had such a disadvantageous ability locked onto my avatar. However, the cause for said feedback is caused by my distaste towards the school.
Hence, that old hag had me on collar and leash. However, that doesn't mean I can't stop causing trouble.
Akihisa Yoshii Score: 35
Of course, my scores are abysmal due to the leisurely way I answered my test exams. But this will be enough to buy me some time.
"Come, Class E representative. I will pay you back tenfold for the beating you gave me." I challenged as my avatar looks around our dirty classroom.
My avatar gave me one look before he shook his head. I don't know why he looked so disappointed but I was more focused with the adversary.
"Very well," Hiromi, as I have come to heard during my torture session with her, said. She called upon her summoned being and attack.
"Too slow!" I called as I had my avatar move out of the way from her attack.
The others looked on in surprise. But that wasn't all!
"Orya!" My avatar stabs her from the side. Of course, it was weak but it took a good chunk from her test scores.
Scores:
Yoshii – 35 vs Hiromi – 54
"Tsk" By the look on her face, she is annoyed by the fact I landed a hit on her. She was about to make a counterattack when Himeji came and took out a majority of Class E's soldiers.
"The cavalry has arrived," I commented as I had my avatar stand back and let Himeji take care of the rest.
Are they seriously monologuing during battle?
Screw that! Have a taste of Class F's Dastardly Tactics!
"Sneak Attack!" I called as I had my avatar pick up the table Yuuji was using and threw it at their direction.
"Wha-""Kyaa!"
Due to Himeji's luck, she dodged in time. The same can't be said with Hiromi though as her avatar received a face-full of wooden table to the face.
"Rule #1 in Class F's Dastardly Tactics… TALKING ISN'T A FREE ACTION!"
Hiromi's Scores: 0
And with that, our war with Class E came to a hilarious end.
.
.
.
Of course, the principal hounded my arse for destroying school property but I used my dashing good looks and charm to persuade her otherwise.
"You can punish me for destroying school property… but I did defeat a Class Representative using a table. I wonder what the other students will think if word of my actions spreads?"
The old hag knew I wasn't bluffing. Kouta saw everything that happened inside and had a 360 shot of my epic fight with Class E. Hence, there will be no excuses on how I defeated said class.
When I got back to class F to celebrate…
"I am Konoshita, Yuuko of Class A. Our class representative challenges you to a class war."
I came upon this scene.
"Eh? We are challenging the last boss already?"
Did I accidentally raised the flag for Class F Must Die difficulty cause I didn't voice out the spy from earlier?
"Man… this is gonna suck,"
And that's how our first Class War ended. I seriously wished that we had more time to take on Class A… but I guess life isn't that fair. But, even though it is unfair… I can't stop but feel excited.
My friends look at me as though I have a screw loose but Yuuji gave me a knowing glance. I can't wait to face Class A tomorrow!