It took a while for me to get over the death of my mother. I didn't recover quite as quick as my sisters. Although they were haunted by it they seemed to just get on with their lives but both me and my dad knew why they moved from La Push. It was a constant reminder of her and no one in our family could really deal with that fact but there was no way that dad would move from La Push. His whole history was here and mine I guess. Especially after I phased. Looking back on the crash it was hard to not blame myself. I was nagging and wining. I wanted something that is hard to remember now and dad was getting restless and it took moms concentration. She ran a red light and we swerved out of the way of incoming traffic and hit a lamppost. Mom's airbag didn't go off and she ended up in a coma. Dad had to make the decision to turn the life support machine off. It was hard and he was haunted by the decision for months after but he had to look after me and my sisters but that didn't stop the looks. I always felt he blamed me, he didn't look at me in the right way anymore.
When I used to get upset about it he used to scoop me into his arms and sit me in his lap and tell me stories about her. It wasn't often he would do this; it hurt him to speak of her. He always told me about a phrase my mom used to say when things got hard. "When the skies are looking bad my dear, and your hearts lost all its hope. After dawn there will be sunshine and all the dust will go. The skies will clear my darling I'll wake up with the one I love the most and in the morning ill make you up. Some tea and toast."
9 years passed since then and everyday it still hurt but it started to get better. The chiefs daughter moved back to town. I remember playing with her when she used to visit on occasions during the summer. The reservation were having a dance and Charlie and Bella were invited. I remember seeing her sat by herself at a table. She was a vision. She was wearing a deep blue dress and converse. Original, I liked it. The first words I said to her were "would you like to dance?" She smiled at me and took my outstretched hand. We danced all night and when the music got slower I leant in and rested my chin on her shoulder and whispered "don't let go of my hand. " She smiled and tightened her grip. I returned the smile. They were staying at ours because Charlie wanted a few drinks. I looked down at her and smiled again. "I guess it's only polite if I ask you tonight, can I walk you home?" On the way home we talked. I told her about my mom and the accident and she listened. She didn't say anything but tighten her grip on my hand. I told her that when it hurt I thought about what my mom said about tea and toast. She smiled and complimented my mom, saying she was wise.
Many years went by and we were side by side. After a few years we got married and Bella fell pregnant. She gave birth to a baby girl with baby blue eyes. But I only earned enough for our food and clothes and this worried me. She knew about this. She could see it etched into my features. I bent down and kissed their foreheads. "I'm sorry. I love you and this baby until the day that I die." She smiled and reached up, cupping my face with her small hands. "We'll take care of this little life and we'll fall in love with her baby blue eyes and everything will be alright, from some advice that I know. I never got to meet her but if I did, I'm sure your mother would have said this." She scooted over so I could sit down next to her. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and listened. "When the skies are looking bad my dear and your hearts lost all its hope. After dawn there will be sunshine and all the dust will go. Skies will clear my darling and ill wake up to the one I love the most and in the morning ill make you up, some tea and toast. " he whispered. Her hand curling around mine as we stared down at our baby girl.
So I took those words and I made them proud. I worked day after day and hour after hour so we could buy a little house on the outside of town. Our little girl grew up and so did we and every single day we said I love you. And 40 years later that brings us to now. We were walking through the park hand in hand. Her hand loosens on mine and she falls to the ground, I slip my arm around her side and lower her down. The only sound I heard was her breathing. She was breathing, that was good right? I didn't even notice the worried crowd which gathered. I look into her eyes a tears roll down my face. "Don't let to now. " I pleaded. I sat by her bed in the hospital ward and saw Sarah walk in with a family of her own. She walked over and hugged me. My hand still in Bella's. Sarah sat on the edge of the be and pulled her son onto her lap. "Dad I don't think she can hear you now but there is one thing mom would want you to know. " she looked at her son and a small smile drifted to her lips. "When the skies are looking bad my dear and your hearts lost all its hope. After dawn there will be sunshine and all the dust will go. Skies will clear my darling, now it's time for you to let go. I'm gunner wake you up in the morning with some tea and toast. "