Don't Own!
Doppleganger
People are fools. They apologize for things they have no control over. Horrible things. They are solemn and quiet, as if any noise will destroy the world. Like the world isn't already worse off. I'm watching the rest of the people in the room as they talk. One smiles remembering the good times, that should be never forgotten. He obviously doesn't know the rules. You have to mourn the dead. They can't be celebrated, and you can't be happy. He gets reprimanded. A professor talks quietly in his ear and the smile fades quickly. I stop watching before they notice. Here comes another one. I can see it in her eyes. "I'm sorry for your loss. He was a great person." I try not to laugh at how stupid she is. There is no way she knows him as well as I do. No way. A simple nod and a sad look is all it takes for her to continue on her way, leaving me alone. All I want to be is alone, and yet I am not. I have to sit and pretend everything is ok. I scoff. A few heads turn my way and I cough a few times. Their eyes are still one me even when they go back to their own conversations.I can't do this. I stand and an entire roomful of eyes flick to me. They see me looking back at them and try to look away before my eyes meet theirs. A few fail, but I don't try to make them suffer, I just leave. To be alone. I just want to be alone, but I'm not going to tell anyone that, they wouldn't understand. Just because they need to be around the ones they love, they assume I do to. I don't.
The hallways are darker than I've ever seen. Stones normally glittering with sunlight are dull and dead. The sun is blocked by dark storm clouds, but the storm has yet to break. The torrential rainfall is still locked up in the clouds, but the hold is tenuous and will surely break. It has to. Nothing can last forever. Nothing. Even now as I walk down the hall, my mind full with confusing things, I can't forget those words. Words spoken to me by the only person in my life. The one who was stolen from me. "We'll never be able to go," I had whined as I sat in the glittering window. The rain fell and streaked the glass. I wanted nothing more than to go out and play in the rain but as every child knows, parents won't allow that. "Sure we will," he says and I look at him, one of the few times he sounded serious. "The rain won't ever end. The whole world will be under water soon." I spread my arms wide, enveloping the air around me as if it was the world. "Nothing lasts forever," he said quietly and as if by magic the rain stopped. He looked back at me and laughed. "That was weird." I nodded, dumbstruck and ran out the door of our room. I thought our mum was going to kill us when we came back in, covered in mud head to toe. A smile crosses my face as I remember it. The trouble we got in.
A few turns later and my feet have carried me to my room. I'm standing before the door, waiting, but my hand won't open the door. It just rests on the cool metal, I know I'm trembling, but my hand is steady. I haven't been back yet. My family has kept me prisoner, but now I'm free and nothing is going to stop me. And yet. My hand still won't turn the knob. Won't let me in. I have to. There are things I need. And things that I just want to see one last time. So, I take a deep breath and push the door open. Nothing jumps out at me, nothing screams, just plain nothing. It is exactly as it was when we last left it. A mess. Clothes everywhere, wrinkled bed sheets. The light from outside brightens half of the room while the other is dark and full of gloom. I sit at the edge of my bed and stare at the dark half, his half. Its getting too painful and I know I have to go. I can't stay here forever. It is starting to hurt too much. My hands move without being told and I've gotten most of my belongings stuffed into a bag. I sigh and take one last look at the room. A twinkle catches my eye and I smile without really wanting to. There is something on the floor just under the other bed. I pull it to me and the smile brightens. I clench it tightly and after a few minutes stuff it into one of my pockets. I feel better now. My mind starts to drift to darker thoughts as I walk back to the room where everybody is waiting. I wonder if they can see it. They know that I've lost a friend, a brother. I told them that, but can they see that half of me is missing. I'm no longer whole. My soul has been torn in two, and is crumbling with every second. Can they see it, I know I feel it. But can they see it. I don't want them to see it. I know they would try to help me, to heal me. I don't want that. I need to feel this gaping whole in me, so I don't forget that I am still alive, and he is too, no matter what people say. Part of him is in me, just as a part of me died with him. We will be together forever. I open the door and the rain starts down. My eyes lock on it and after a few minutes I walk back in the room with a smile on my face. "Some things do last forever." I whisper to the rain before shutting the door.
A/N: Ummm... I apologize. I haven't read the last HP book. So I'm pretty sure this is wrong. but I wanted to write a character death. This seemed appropriate. Written back in '08. Review.