What if Zaphod and the Doctor were one and the same? What if the Doctor literally stole his "TARDIS" from the dry docks… His ship, with a heart of burning gold, an eye that can truly see and an awful lot of running to do…
I wrote this a fair while ago, so sorry for the complete randomness...
Zaphod Beeblebrox… What a name.
A name could last for millennia. Passed on in stories… Fairy tales if you like. Dreams and realities folding around her the Heart of the TARDIS morphed and changed the space that was wrapped around her… So unlikely that a little wee running shoe could fit so much.
"That is really amazing," he said. "That really is truly amazing. That is so amazingly amazing I think I'd like to steal it."
And he did.
Just like that.
The most amazing ship that was ever built, would ever be built, could would have ever never been will be built.
And he had stolen it.
Just like that.
He wandered round the console room flicking switches just to see what kind of noises they could make, how many lights would flash, and which way the ship would lurch. He really was having so much fun, and then Trillian had to go and walk through the door, which looked strangely like the inside of a whale, bringing with her the smell of something that smelled oddly like chicken and would probably taste like chicken too, as most unnamed food in this Galaxy tastes like chicken until you find a more indistinct meat to compare it to, seeing as that is almost impossible it is lucky the ship has an improbability drive, so we can find a more indistinct meat than chicken.
"Shall we do something interesting? Something like turning on the improbability drive… We could go somewhere, like, umm, some mythical planet, like err, oh I don't know, Gallifrey?" asked Trillian
"I don't think that is such a good idea" said Zaphod looking suddenly quite sheepish, "They don't really like me on Gallifrey. Well not any more."
"What do you mean? Gallifrey is a fairy story… You can't have been to Gallifrey."
"I, well, Imightjusthappentobeatimelord." whispered Zaphod incredible quietly compared to his normal voice, which is far from normal when compared to anyone else.
"What," shrieked Trillian "Is a monkey doing on the view screen?"
"Huh?" said Zaphod crawling out from his hiding spot under one of the conveniently placed sofas. "You're not mad at me for not telling you about being a Time Lord, or that I was born on a planet you always regarded as a fairy story?"
"Oh no, of course not… your other head sent me a psychic message last night, telling me that you were just a figment of my imagination, and that if I mentioned Gallifrey, my imagination would have a field day." Trillian was now attempting to get the monkey off the view screen by pulling faces at it. "Doesn't this ship have wind screen wipers?" Trillian asked in contempt.
"Not that I know of. No." muttered Zaphod, who for someone having just been told he was a figment of someone else's imagination, was taking it quite well.
"Okay then," said Trillian, giving up on the monkey "Lets go to Gallifrey!"