Title: "Hidden Secrets"
Author: FerretGirl
Pairing: Wesley/Faith
Rating: PG to R
Disclaimer: They boys and girls are not mine, I'm just playing with them.
Spoilers: AtS S1 to 4, Buffy S3 and S7 I guess. halve way S4 of AtS Joss and I go our separate ways for a while.
Summary: Faith, Wesley, five years later.
A big thanks to Lilacgirl, Snoopygirll and Zyre for the beta on this
story
Hidden Secrets, Part 1
It had been five years since they had vanished, left, run away. In those five
years they had grown even closer than they had been before their last
apocalypse. They were already close but no one had known.
No one knew that their bond went back before prison, before the torture, all
the way back to Sunnydale. They had strong feelings for each other even then.
They didn't like each other. Faith didn't like him for commanding her and B
around. Wesley didn't like her for not listening to what he was saying.
Later in LA those feelings became stronger. They became hate. Faith hated
everything he stood for. Rejection, failure. Wesley hated everything she
represented. Failure, rejection. Then came the night of the torture, the night
that changed everything.
The way they saw each other, the way they felt about each other, their opinion
of each other. Faith no longer saw the spineless coward she thought he was.
Wesley no longer saw the rebellious, dangerous girl he thought she was. They
recognized themselves in each other, even then.
She turned herself in. Mostly for Angel, but also for Wesley. To show him that
she could do the right thing. He fought with himself to overcome the fear he
had, to be able to reach out to the girl. In the end he did.
No one knew about the weekly visits Wesley paid Faith. Not Angel, not Cordelia,
not Giles, no-one. Faith didn't tell Angel when he came to visit her. Wesley
didn't tell Cordelia when she asked where he had been. Frankly it was none of
their business.
Slowly they grew closer and loosened up. They saw the changes in each other.
Faith told him about life in prison. She shared stories about the new guard,
the latest gossips about who was doing whom, the fights she desperately wanted
to stay out of, the effort to stay on the 'right path'. But mostly, what she
missed about the outside world. She loved just talking with someone who
understood her desperate need for acceptance.
Wesley did his best to bring as much news of the outside world to her as he
could. He told her about what little news he had heard from Sunnydale, he
brought her magazines and candy when it was allowed. He even encouraged her to
read and get a hobby. He enjoyed talking to her. Faith understood the need to
feel accepted.
During Angels 'beige' period Wesley even became Faith's only link to the
outside world, her anchor.
When he didn't show up for his weekly visit, she began to worry. When he
didn't show up the second week, she started to panic. The third week, Faith
was ready to break out. That's when Wesley showed up.
He was thinner and obviously in pain. She could see it as he carefully sat
down in the chair. He told her everything about the zombie cop, being shot and
Angel coming back to AI.
That was the first time Faith wanted to jump through the glass to be with Wes.
But she stopped when he told her that he was the boss now. Wesley looked so
proud that she felt the spark jumping over to her. Faith could see more and
more of the clumsy, unconfident man disappearing each time he came to visit.
She looked on, surprised as a new man emerged. A leader, a thinker, a true
watcher, her watcher.
Wesley saw Faith becoming more at peace with herself and the world. She was
more at ease, no longer ready to jump and attack at the first sign of trouble,
but rather would stop and think first. He watched the rude, unconfident and
vulnerable girl turn into the strong, capable woman he always knew was hidden
underneath the mask.
Wesley did become Faith's only lifeline to the outside world. Angel never came
to visit anymore. Sometimes the vampire wrote her letters, but those became
less and less. She was sad and angry about that. Wesley did his best to assure
her that Angel was alright and just needed time to get back on track again.
The second time Wesley didn't show up for weeks. Faith didn't worry any less.
But she wasn't going to break out. She somehow knew that if anything bad had
happened to Wes, she would know. Their bond was that strong now.
When he came to visit her again, he saw that she was visibly relieved. Wesley
felt the same way too. Relieved to hear that Faith was doing so well, that she
hadn't broken out of jail, kept up with her studies and training. He had
thought about her in Pylea and worried.
Then he started telling her about Pylea, the war they had fought, the people
he has sent to their deaths. Faith could read his body-language like an old,
familiar book. He was having trouble coping with what he had done in Pylea,
what he had become there. The lines in his face had become more pronounced,
the frown on his forehead deeper. He somehow looked older, more experienced.
Then he told her the news they had received when they came back. About Buffy.
Faith was shocked to hear about the other slayer. Wesley was there to comfort
her, to make sure she didn't think any less of herself now that she was the
only Slayer left, that she didn't loose it under the pressure she felt.
Wesley could tell that the time he had been away had worried her. Her eyes
were bleak when he had first come to visit her, after some time they were
sparkling. Reading her body-language became second nature to him. He could see
the changes. The bags under her eyes became less, her face looked more like
that of a grown woman instead of the little frightened girl she once was. She
spoke with a confidant, strong voice. Her entire posture showed how mature she
had become.
They were both relieved, if not puzzled, when months later he told her about
Buffy's miracle return.
Wes told her about Angel, Darla and Connor. How happy Angel was, but not
perfectly happy, mind you. They laughed together at the stories he told her
about Angel being 'Mr. Dad'. It was good to see the smiles on each other's
face.
He also told her about Fred. Faith felt a pang of jealousy towards this girl
she had never met, yet her watcher felt so strongly about.
Faith was however, if anything, a realist. She would be in jail for a long
time, she could not take away his chance of happiness because of feelings she
had for him. Which may or may not be returned. So she encouraged him to make a
move.
Then Wesley came to visit early one morning, still wearing his rumpled tuxedo.
His eyes were red as if he had cried. So lost, alone, crushed. His hair was
wild, he hadn't shaved, he was nothing like the Wesley she knew.
He told Faith about the ballet, the count,...Fred and Gunn. The girl he loved
and his best friend. He tried to be brave, told her he was happy for them. But
she could see right through him. Wes was in pain, so much that it hurt Faith
physically.
That was the second time Faith almost jumped through the glass to be with Wes.
After that visit Faith saw him sink into a depression further and further. Wes
looked worse every time he came by. She worried and tried to get him to talk
to her. He just told her he was fine, she shouldn't worry. But she could see
it. The eyes became haunted, the bags under them more visible with every visit.
Faith could see it, even through the glasses he wore were trying to hide it.
The shoulders were slumped, his back tense. His voice was so soft and tired
that she almost had to use her slayer hearing to hear him. Faith knew he was
worried, hiding something. And that scared her.
Then the visits stopped.
Faith wanted to call Angel, Cordy, Giles, anyone. After a few weeks she
couldn't take it anymore and she did call. She couldn't reach anyone. Not
Angel, not Cordy and not Wesley. She was nearly frantic and getting into
fights when he came back to her again.
She was shocked to see how much Wesley had changed in such a relatively short
time. He looked colder, bitter, scarred inside...and outside.
He was shocked to see what he saw in Faith's eyes. Anger, fear, desperation
and love. For him.
Wesley told her the whole story, about the prophecy, Holtz, Connor, Justine.
Faith had seen the scar on his throat the minute he walked in. His raspy voice
made her wince and her heart bleed. He told her that Angel had tried to kill
him. He left nothing out of the story, not even Lilah.
She listened and did her best to assure him that he had tried to do the best
he could, even if it was in his own dumbass way. She understood why he
couldn't tell the others, why he kept it a secret, why he did it on his own.
It was easy to understand if you were an outsider yourself.
Faith felt anger toward his so-called friends, his family when she heard that
all of them had turned their backs on him. Even Cordelia. They never once
asked his side of the story.
Wes looked lost, lonely. Faith was all he had left. She became his anchor.
He moved on. Started his own band of demon hunters. Faith encouraged him and
made sure to get her point across about Lilah. He gave her a ghost of a smile
and promised to kick the lawyer out next time.
She watched him grow stronger. Yet he turned bitter and often came to visit
with a hangover. She could almost smell the alcohol through the glass. His
features grew harder, his face closed off. The eyes that once told her
everything, were now empty, bleak. Like they were no longer living, something
had died. Faith worried and told him so. Wes promised to try and do better.
Wesley told her about Justine in the closet, dragging Angel out of the ocean,
Connor, Cordelia. Not wanting to go back to the people he had once called his
family.
Faith understood.
She watched the news in jail and saw the signs of an apocalypse even though
no-one else could. When Wesley came to visit again she knew he needed her. She
could read it in his blue eyes, the way he looked at her spoke volumes. He
told her about the beast, the disappearance of the sun and the return of
Angelus.
That was the third time Faith wanted to jump through the glass to be with Wes.
This time she did.
Not just because of Angelus, the beast or even the end of the world. But
because he needed her.
They made a good team. They fought well together. Like they had done so for
years. They knew each other's moves almost as though they could feel where the
other was. They both had become warriors who were more confidant, at ease with
themselves and each other. It was as if their bodies and minds were tuned in
to each other.
The beast was defeated, with minimum losses on the side of good. With Willow's
help they got Angel back. Everything seemed to return to what passed as normal
in their world. With one difference: Faith was out of jail.
Faith didn't want to go back to jail even though she knew she should. Wesley
didn't make her. He was glad to have her out, to have someone in his corner,
to have her by his side. She could redeem herself outside of jail just as good,
if not better, then inside.
When Willow told them about Sunnydale and The First Evil, Angel didn't
hesitate to run to Sunnydale with Willow, to help out Buffy and the Scoobies.
Cordelia and Connor went with him by default. The vampire asked Gunn, Fred and
Lorne to come along too. They went without hesitation.
So did Faith and Wesley, but they went on their own. Even though no one had
asked them, they still felt they might be needed there. It was after all,
their fight too.
It was a vicious fight. In the end good side had won, but the price they had
to pay had been high.They lost many, mostly potential slayers. But also Anya.
Faith had seen her die. Anya had died a hero, saving someone else. It had left
a deep impact on all of the warriors that had fought this war.
Wesley and Faith found each other after the fight. Both were wounded, he more
then she. 'Slayer healing and all' She had told him. He could only agree and
look at his not so fast healing wounds. She had done what she could to patch
him up. They were lucky, both of them had survived. At least physically.
No one had come to look for them, no one had asked about their wounds, their
well-being. They watched as the others had gathered around and looked each
other over, comforted each other, mourned together, celebrated together.
It was as if Faith and Wesley, the other slayer – watcher team, weren't even
there.
That's when Faith and Wesley made their decision, together. To leave, run away,
vanish. They had very little left to pick up in LA . They left no note
explaining where they went. They didn't want to be found, ever. They wanted a
new life, a new beginning, a second chance or maybe even third for them.
That had been five years ago.
At first they had traveled without a goal, they just wanted to get away as
fast and as far as they could. Never staying in one place long, just moving,
running, they had to get away. Then they had agreed to flee to the other side
of the country, far away from everyone else and start a new life there.
They kept fighting the good fight, at nights. But no longer were they afraid
of being judged by their actions, of disappointing, of rejection, of failing.
They got married within a year of their arrival, got themselves a house, jobs
and a life they liked.
Five years of being Mr. And Mrs. Pryce, five years of building themselves a
new life, five years of loving each other, five years of fighting the good
fight on their own, five years of something that resembled happiness. Five
years.....and then it all went to hell
2003 by FerretGirl