"Pain of a Soldier"
by Ryukku

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing.

Author's Note: Content includes rage and death and the like.

"Chapter 1: Five Former Soldiers"

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Heero was standing in a field of flowers. He heard a soft whisper coming towards him.

"Why aren't you fighting? Don't you want to fight? Don't you want to feel the power you have in Gundam? Why don't you build a Gundam? Why don't you take control again? Don't you want that control again? You had control over humanity's fate. Don't you want that power? Why aren't you fighting?"

Frantically, Heero yelled, "Who's there?!"

The whispers continued, "Don't you want to fight? Isn't that why you're living? Isn't that your mission? Isn't that your being?"

Heero screamed, "Stop it!"

"Don't you like to kill? Don't you like to know that you had the power over another's life? Don't you want that power?"

Heero turned and tried to run from the voices, "GO AWAY! I DON'T WANT TO KILL ANYMORE!!!"

Soon the whisper started to fade, "Don't you want a battle? Isn't that what you always wanted?"

Heero closed his eyes and ran faster. How could he be so out of control? So outside of himself? The whisper was gone. He opened his eyes. He was in a cave. Heero walked forward and a gleaming light filled the cave. Heero's eyes focused, and there it was. The Wing Zero was in front of him, taunting him. The green eyes lit and the cockpit opened, beckoning him to jump in.

The whisper was a voice, a voice behind him, a kind voice, a girl's voice, "Go ahead. Go in. Take control."

Heero didn't turn, he only stared at Zero.

The voice went on, "Wing Zero, it's you. And you are Zero. Don't you see it? You need Zero and Zero needs you! Take the power again! Take control."

Heero was moving closer. He didn't even recognized what he was doing. He jumped and entered the cockpit. The door closed on him. Suddenly, he became conscience of what he was doing. Zero awoke and the monitor lit up. Heero looked down on the person speaking to him before. All he saw was a silhouette, a shadow.

The shadow spoke, "Now you've done it! You've taken control!"

Zero's system started, sending out a blaring light.

Heero woke up, lying in his bed on the new colony, Colony Z3000, a new kind of colony, one with Artificial Intelligence. Heero was lucky to reside on such a colony. Heero sat up and rubbed his forehead.

"Why do I keep on having these dreams!" he slammed his fist on the wall.

The lights in his room turned on. A computerized voice spoke, "0300 hours. Would you like breakfast, Mr. Yuy?"

Heero looked up, "No, I'll just go back to sleep."

The lights turned off and Heero lay in his bed, looking at the ceiling.

He thought to himself, ^These dreams, they're reoccurring. I haven't used Gundam for five months now, but still I see it clearly in my dreams.^

Heero drifted again into sleep.

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Duo was working in the junkyard, selling things he had recreated. He had started a store with Hilde, using Hilde's late father's name. (They had been too young to start it on their own.) Duo has been looking through one of his newer piles when he came across one of the cartridges from the Zero system.

"So, the Zero system survives?" Duo wiped off some of the dirt. "And it still is in pretty good condition."

Hilde came running out from the building next to the junkyard, "Duo! We got a really big order this time!"

Duo quickly hid the cartridge in his front shirt pocket, "Really? Lemme take a look there."

Hilde handed him the PDA with the order on it, "I'm not sure if we want to go through with this one. It's asking for a lot of mobile suit parts."

"No, we'll go through with it," Duo handed the device back.

"What? Why, Duo?" Hilde held it out in front of her.

"Did you look at that name?" Duo laughed. "It's my old buddy, Howard. We can trust him."

"Whatever you say!" Hilde ran back to the building, as Duo fished out thingamajiggers and whatchamacallits into a junkyard cart.

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Trowa was feeding the lions as he petted one on the head and smiled. The ringmaster walked out and happily greeted Trowa, seeing he was doing something useful. Trowa stood and filled a tub with water for the lion to drink.

"I'm so glad that we have you here, Trowa. The circus sure seems to move very smoothly with you here, and we don't have to hire so many untrained hands to help with all the animals," the ringmaster laughed.

Trowa turned off the water a started to walk back to the tent, "Thanks, but I don't deserve praise for my connection with animals. Training or skill has nothing to do with connecting with animals. It all depends on how you approach them. If you show too much fear, you are weak and cannot care for them. If you show too much aggression, you cannot be their friend and have no company with them. But, if you approach them with confidence and kindness, the animal cannot have anything against you."

"How do you know all of this? You're just a boy," the ringmaster stopped him.

"Easy," Trowa cracked a tiny smile, "animals are a lot like humans. If humans don't use the reasoning they have, they have no more logic than an ant." Trowa kept on walking into the tent and was intercepted by Catherine.

"I heard what you said, Trowa," Catherine smiled.

"Oh, hi, Cathy," Trowa looked up from the ground.

"You're so intelligent, Trowa. Why do you insist on staying here at the circus?" Catherine asked.

"You said it yourself, Cathy. You guys are my family, and I will always return to my family," Trowa kindly replied.

Cathy smiled sweetly.

Trowa walked to the middle of the ring.

Catherine walked up behind him, "Are you actually going to practice, Trowa?"

"Yeah, I guess I am," Trowa looked back at her.

"Well, aren't you gonna change? You can't do all your stunts in normal clothes," Catherine asked.

"No, I can do them in these clothes fine," Trowa motioned for a lowering of a rope.

"Trowa! Wait! Let me put up the net or something!" Catherine screamed.

"Okay," Trowa was sitting on one of the swings, "I'll wait." Trowa knew how Cathy worried and waited.

The net was up and Trowa sat on the swing, thinking about all that had happened up until then.

Catherine yelled up to him, "Are you just gonna sit there!!!"

With a grunt, Trowa stood and jumped off to catch himself with his hands on the bar. He began to sway to get the swing to move. Another swing was let down for him. Trowa let go, did a double flip and landed his hands on the other rod. He pulled himself us and stood on the swing. Still swaying the swing back and forth he jumped off, did a 540 and caught the first swing again.

"That's enough," Trowa said to himself. He again sat on the swing to think again. After a few minutes, Catherine was still looking up at him.

She yelled up to him, "Are you done, Trowa?"

Trowa swung over to the ladder pole and climbed down.

"You always just sit up there. Why do you do that, Trowa?" Cathy was waiting for him at the bottom of the pole.

"I like to think up there, Cathy. That's all," Trowa explained.

"You could've just told me that," Cathy laughed.

"Sorry, maybe you should try it. It's like you're alone up there," he answered.

Cathy asked, interested, "What do you think about up there, anyway?"

Trowa looked up, "Gundam, the other guys, the war, things in the past. I remember everything now, even when I was a soldier before Gundam was in my life."

"But those things are in the past, Trowa," Catherine wrapped her arm around his. "Don't let them get to you anymore."

"But Sis, they don't bother me. I just like to remember it. My past is me," Trowa tightened him arm.

"Whatever you say. As long as it doesn't bother you, Trowa," she leaned against him.

Trowa smiled, and they started talking about their performance that night.

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Quatre had taken over for his father, and had been doing amazing things for the company. He didn't mind the work, but Quatre was becoming a workaholic. He had successfully written a biography about his father and created a wonderful new artificial intelligence colony. Out of pure kindness and gratitude, Quatre upgraded all of the Maganac Corps' mobile suits. That was his only way of thanking Rasid and his men. But because of his business life, Quatre's optimism, though it is there, has seemed to fade away.

Quatre sat at his desk and typed some numbers into his worksheet on the computer.

His sister walked in, "Hey, Bro, wanna go with me to the movies?"

Quatre sat up in his chair, "I dunno, Sis. I hafta have this done before the weekend."

She laughed, "Well, that gives you plenty of time! Three whole days!"

"I dunno. I don't want to go away from this at this time," Quatre went on with the argument.

"You're overworked, Quatre. You need a break," she smiled.

Rasid walked in, "Master Quatre, I'd like to thank you for equipping my troops. You really didn't have to do that for us. Our reward for helping you is that you are still alive."

"It was nothing, Rasid," Quatre smiled at the large man.

"No, Master Quatre," Rasid stepped forward, "we will do whatever we can to repay you for all that you have given us."

"No, you don't have to, Rasid," Quatre argued.

"You have showed us much kindness. We must repay you, Master Quatre," Rasid begged.

"How about this. Don't think of it as a favor, but as a gift from a friend," Quatre ended the argument.

"Very well, but as your friends, the corps and I will be there whenever you need us," Rasid answered.

"And I will be there for you, Rasid, and your men," Quatre replied.

"Then it's settled. I will speak with you later, but soon, Master Quatre," Rasid laughed, "but I must say. You look quite different in that suit. Have you been working all this time?"

"Yes, I have, in fact," Quatre looked at his wardrobe.

"Don't forget those battle skills. After all, some may come in handy in a heated business deal, " Rasid laughed. "Goodbye, Master Quatre."

Quatre laughed, "Goodbye, Rasid."

"Wow," his sister pointed, "you laughed! I haven't heard you laugh forever. Now let's go see that movie!"

"Alright, just let me change, okay?" Quatre stood.

"It's a deal!" his sister smiled.

The two walked out of the office building and went back to their home on the AI (for those of you who have no clue, AI stands for artificial intelligence. Just so you know.) colony.

Quatre changed and they walked to the movie theatre.

Quatre's sister smiled, "I'm so glad we moved to Colony Z3000. It's so much better than that resource satellite."

"I guess," Quatre smiled back. "Let's go see this one. Ana (one of Quatre's sisters) said it was good."

"Okay," she ran to the ticket booth.

....................

Wufei had taken Noin's place at the Preventers' Headquarters. Lady Une was both surprised and happy to have a Gundam pilot on the team. Wufei had been getting bored working at the Headquarters and was always the one who went out to investigate a situation. He didn't like the fact that he had been asked to work in a place with all women, but it was more of a blessing in disguise. Wufei had gained a respect, not a large respect, for how women think, but still believed he had a superior way. Of course, he got his share of respect and praise also.

Wufei had his feet crossed on the desk as he relaxed in front of his computer. He was pulling the night shift that day, but Sally stayed up with him anyway.

"I don't see how you can stand it here on Earth, woman," Wufei jokingly remarked.

"I've lived here forever," Sally laughed.

"I mean, the actual One-G everywhere you go, no Zero-G anywhere! At my colony, there was Zero, One, and Two-G! But I " Wufei went on.

"You can go to space as soon as something new comes up," Sally replied.

Wufei smiled. His computer started beeping at him. He sat up and looked at the screen.

"A break in, on the first level," Sally stated.

"Yes, I can read, woman," Wufei got up. "I'll handle it."

Wufei grabbed his jacket as he walked out of the door and into the elevator, "Who is stupid enough to break into the Preventers' Headquarters, basically the only law enforcement there is. What an idiot."

The men on the first level heard the elevator ding. One of them was trying to hack into the computer, but was having no luck. The elevator's doors opened. All six of the men stared at him. The guy at the computer looked back down at the computer and typed faster.

Wufei looked at the lit monitor and remarked, "And you will be first to go."

He jumped at the hacker and took him out with the kick. The other five ambushed him. Wufei sent out a flurry of blows from his hands and feet. All were easily taken out. Wufei went back to the hacker and lifted him up by his shirt collar.

Wufei shook him, "What exactly were you doing in here?! Huh?!"

The hacker saw one of the men stand. He decided to buy time, "Uh, I'll tell you!"

Wufei gripped tighter, "Then tell!"

The hacker stuttered, "I work for an organization. I was hired! I'm not really a member!"

Wufei lifted him higher, "Which organization?!"

The hacker shook, "I dunno! I swear! They're just paying me!"

Wufei heard the man behind him moved. He let go of the hacker and spun around to meet the enemy with a fist. Wufei turned angrily to the hacker, lifted him by his shirt collar and slammed him against the wall, "What were you looking for then?!"

The hacker screeched fearfully, "Everything! Everything on your system! The wanted everything!"

The regional guards rushed through the doors.

"Take them away," Wufei ordered as he went back to the elevator.

He traveled back to the fourth floor where Sally was.

"What were they here for?" Sally asked as he walked in.

"Some organization hired them to copy all our memory off our computer," Wufei laughed.

"I guess they didn't know that the computers downstairs aren't connected to the main network," Sally laughed and turned off her computer. "Did they say which organization?"

"No, they were funded anonymously. Maybe we should check up on all wealthy organizations," Wufei sat back down.

"I'll tell Lady Une in the morning, but I'm gonna go back to my room for now and sleep. I'll see you in the morning," Sally left the floor to the fifth floor to her room.

"Whatever," Wufei put his feet on the desk and stared at the ceiling and started to think about Nataku. Then he started to reminisce the days when he was with the other Gundam pilots, "I wonder where they are now."

-End of Chapter

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RxR! Please! More chapters to come; the story is just beginning!

-Ryukku