Jane closed the door to her flat and took a deep breath, happy to be home. It had been quite a day. There had been much accomplished but it had been one of those days that left her feeling quite exhausted. She was grateful that the rain at least had held off until the end of the rally, for once the sky opened up there was no escaping getting soaked. Jane had nearly sprinted home the few blocks to her flat and arrived absolutely drenched. It poured for a good half hour but now it had subsided to just a steady rain. There was a gentle rumble of thunder in the distance as she shook off her umbrella and put it in the umbrella stand. Then she proceeded to peel off her dripping coat and hung it up to dry.
Jane made her way across her small foyer and through the swinging door into her kitchen. She put on the kettle for tea, trying not to think of the man she had caught a glimpse of while running home. And as she retrieved a cup and saucer from the cabinet, she certainly tried to avoid the thought of the pretty, and quite young, brunette whose arm was looped through his. And then there was the little boy he was holding tightly as they too dashed through the rain. She caught a glimpse of the life that could have been hers, would have been hers.
Yes, indeed it was Harold Clarke, Jane's ex-fiancé whom she had spotted, happily running through the rain with his family. She was only grateful he hadn't seen her. It had been a few years since they last spoke, but that didn't stop the rush of memories that came flooding back to her.
The kettle whistled and Jane poured herself a cup of tea. She leaned back against her kitchen counter, arms crossed, feeling quite alone in her small yet sufficient kitchen. She wasn't one to dwell on the past and she usually looked very brightly at the present and upon the future. Though every so often she would think back on her previous relationships and wonder if she would have changed things. Would she have done anything different?
No, she wouldn't. She was certain she'd made the right choices regarding the men who had been in her life up until now. Although that didn't change the fact that she walked home to an empty flat every night and sometimes felt quite alone in life.
Certainly, she had her friends at work. She had Michael and her niece and nephews, whom she loved dearly and very much enjoyed visiting. And perhaps she should have been content with that, but in all honesty, Jane wanted someone she could come home to. Someone who would be eager to hear about her day. Someone she could have dinner with every night. She wanted someone who would hug and kiss her when she had a bad day. Or when she had a good day for that matter. Someone she could... love.
As the rain continued its sing song taps on her window panes, Jane sipped her tea and decided what she needed was a good hot bath to wash away the stress of the day. Perhaps she could also wash away the all too complicated emotions she was feeling. Though this was much easier said than done.
She gathered a towel and soaps and let the bath water run, all the while consciously avoiding the thought of any past lover. Jane put on a Boswell Sisters record, one of her favorites, and while she waited for the tub to fill, she forced herself to think of what was on her agenda for tomorrow.
First was breakfast at the union hall, which was right near Michael's house so perhaps she could visit him on the way. Of course, if she stopped at Michael's, she would be taking the same route on which she saw Harold. Oh, and how she hoped she wouldn't run into him again! It was truly a wonder she had been able to avoid seeing him for as long as she did. Who knew how many times they had passed each other in the street without taking notice? And here her brain had arrived back around at thoughts she didn't want to entertain.
As she stepped into the bath she may as well have been plunging into the sea of ghosts of boyfriends past. For it was useless and Jane knew it was nearly impossible to avoid her own thoughts.
She sunk into the hot water and the swirls of steam rose from the water leaving Jane in a cloud of memories.