A.N: this is a one shot based on Fancy Dan. I kind of can identify with Marti at that point, sucks big and hurts a lot but sometimes there is power in the knowledge that the people around you are happy.
She could kill Wanda for this. She knew exactly what she was doing and she appreciated it, she really did, but a little warning wouldn't have hurt! Sure, she had done nothing but think of him ever since he left, had called him obsessively, almost leaving a message only to hang up. She was pretty sure that he had thought her crazy more than once already, and she wasn't sure that she wasn't. She had been going out of her mind missing him, wanting him to call her and say that they were okay, that he was still there for her just like he had always been. But he hadn't, and it had been hard, painful, matter of fact not having him in her life was damn sure excruciating!
But slowly, very slowly she had come to terms with it, and learned to live with the pain. She still hoped day after day that he would call, until eventually he took her calls. Her heart had soared, almost all the way to heaven. Just hearing his voice, his easy laugh, his careless chuckle, was enough to make her go weak in the knees. She had thought that would be enough, but soon found out that she was wrong, dead wrong. Just hearing his voice wasn't enough, she wanted to see him, to touch him, she wanted him to hold her and laugh with her again.
And now he was coming, and she was frozen. She wasn't so sure about seeing him anymore. What would she say to him, how was she supposed to act around him anymore? One stupid mistake had somehow unravelled all the work they had put to build up their relationship, although sometimes she really struggled to remember why exactly it was a mistake. That was until she remembered that she had almost come really close to losing her new best friend over it and just like that, it was the biggest mistake all over again.
She missed him, and she wanted him back, hoped that they could go back to being 'them' again. And that would require a lot of grovelling on her part coz she couldn't bear to lose him, but she didn't care, it would all be worth it in the end.
So she spent the better part of the wedding day getting ready for the inevitable, preparing to face him. It involved a lot of self pep talks, a lot of chickening out and talking herself right back into the whole thing all over again.
It didn't matter how prepared she thought she was, when she finally saw him, standing there, looking better than she had ever seen him, she suddenly couldn't breathe. It was as if all the life in her was being sucked out. For a second she had the strongest urge to run, to just throw it all in the bag, and make a mad dash for it.
But she couldn't, her feet were suddenly glued to the floor, a strong force drawing her to him, no matter how hard she tried to look away.
He looked so different yet exactly the same as he had the last time she had seen him, beautiful, breath taking and amazing.
He turned to face her and she thought she was going to pass out. Any thoughts of fleeing were immediately banished however when he stalked towards her. For a second she thought that she indeed had passed out, that the light headedness, the dry mouth and shortness of breath were all an out of body experience. Yet suddenly when he was standing in front of her, his blue eyes gazing expectantly at her, she could smell the faint whiff of his subtle cologne, and she knew that she was as wide awake as the next person. She couldn't help but appreciate how good he made the suit look, and to think that she had never like men who wore suits. She would have to revise that sentiment, and soon.
She opened her mouth to say something, anything, but nothing came out. Only a faint croak that was barely above a whisper. She wanted to apologise, for the way she had handled things, for how things had ended. Most of all she wanted to tell him how much she missed him. She couldn't. Her heart was thundering so loud in her chest that she was sure that he heard it.
'You know how to sell a song Marti Perkins.' He finally said with his easy charm, breaking the tension that was threatening to shatter her into shards right there and then, and just like that they fell into the easy banter that had always been their relationship.
But it soon turned into an awkward silence that had never known place between them, that's when she decided to leave, but he grabbed her arm and told her to stop. She tried to ignore the flurry of excitement that scurried up her arm from his touch, tried to tell herself that she was imagining it. But her thundering heart and the fluttering butterflies in her stomach said otherwise.
He started apologising to her profusely, for leaving for being a coward, and it hit her right there and then, why she had missed him so much, way much more than she should have. Some may say even too much. When he left, she had felt as if he taken a huge chunk of her with him and she felt incomplete. And right now, it was like he had returned the missing part of the puzzle to her. She chuckled bitterly to herself. Of all the damned luck!
She had fallen completely, absolutely and irrevocably in love with Dan Patch! She didn't know when it happened, or if she had ever not been. But the realisation hit her so hard that she actually stumbled for a second, feeling physically sick.
'Are you okay?' he reached for her, his face immediately contorting with concern.
Had Savannah not turned up, she would have made the Himalayas of all mistakes making a complete fool of herself in the process.
She wouldn't have been able to have him touch her and keep the turmoil that was brewing in her head to herself.
The blonde on his arm had been a total shock yet also mildly amusing. She knew him well enough to know exactly what he was doing and given the situation, she would have done exactly the same thing. She didn't at all feel threatened by him whatsoever; he didn't look at her the way he looked at...Savannah, with total adoration, devotion and admiration. It was like she brought back his missing piece of the puzzle.
Now seeing that look, even after all this time had hurt, extremely, more than she had ever thought possible. It wasn't like she hadn't known that he loved her, but considering the fact that he had never had a lasting relationship and in light of her recent revelation it was hard seeing it. It also hammered home a few realisations. For one he was totally in love with her new best friend just like she loved him. And the second thing was that with Dan's return she wasn't really so sure about the survival of hers and savannah's relationship coz right now she really wanted to take her up on her offer on letting the best man win.
That thought was immediately squashed though, after she overhead the conversation between Dan and his father. She hadn't been eavesdropping; she had just been passing by and happened to hear them. Hearing what the man who she had considered a father for most her life say that about her hadn't hurt half as much as the realisation that what he said was absolutely true.
She and Dan were a train wreck. She wasn't good for him and she had the feeling that if they ever got into a relationship they would be disaster. When he was with Savannah, he glowed, 'bloomed', if that was even the right word. His constant need to be worthy of her made him want to be a better person, and therefore he worked harder to better his life.
With her he was comfortable. Once she would have thought that was a good thing, but was it?
They were good friends, the best of matter of fact, so maybe that's what they were ever going to best at, maybe that's all they were ever meant to be.
So she told him that, later when they were finally hashing things out. Things with them were weird and strained, unlike them at all, and she hoped to hell that they would sort things out soon coz this was driving her up the wall. She smiled cordially and agreed with him when he said pretty much the same thing, ignoring the niggling doubt at the back of her mind.
She also refused to wonder why it hurt to hear him say that when she herself had come to that conclusion. It didn't matter; everything didn't matter, but him, and her.
He was her former best friend; she was her new best friend. She loved them both very much; the thought of losing either one was not appealing to her in the lightest. She had a taste of what it was like losing them both, in Dan's case, twice. And every time it was because of feelings that she couldn't help feelings that she shouldn't have but had none the less.
Every time she followed those feelings she lost the people that mattered the most to her. Sitting here with him right now, she wanted nothing more than to reach out to him, brush the stray lock of hair from his forehead, just to see him smile, just one last time for her and only her. She wanted to tell him how much she loved him; how she believed that they were meant to be.
But she couldn't for she had lost him the moment he saw Savannah, and decided that they were meant to be.
She let him go, watched as the two people she loved the most confirmed their renewed relationship with a single dance. This time her smile wasn't bitter, it wasn't exactly a happy one either. It was one of resignation and understanding.
She understood a few things better now. She loved him, more than anything, more than he could ever know, more than she could ever say but he wasn't hers to have and one thing for sure, he had ruined her for any other men.
And because she loved him she wanted him to be happy. It broke her heart, to a point that she doubted it would ever be repaired again, but savannah made him happy and he made her happy. That was all she could ever ask for.