Alfred looted a number. He didn't know whose it was. He just found it, but he enjoyed calling, particularly at night.
At night, after hours upon hours of heavy duty video gaming, he would sit back and take a deep breath.
And reach for the phone.
After punching in the numbers, he would settle in as it rang. In the beginning it was uneasy, but as the conversation continued it was almost like eating bacon - can't get enough of it. What are the chances this number was for pleasure?
When the woman answered, she wasn't surprised; she was waiting for him. Due to the familiarity of the situation, they would tease and chuckle, but eventually it happened.
"So..." Alfred huskily said as he peered over at his cactus. "What are you wearing?" From there on out, questions and statements were as such. The woman would comply as Alfred was humored at the woman's sounds. This happened for a week, until.
Until.
One day, Arthur stomped over to Alfred's place and slammed the door open.
"YOU JACKASS!" he screamed, tears were formed in his eyes while he pointed at the American. "YOU'VE BEEN CALLING THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND FOR THE PAST WEEK, YA GIT!"