Title: Memory
Author: datadoesntlie
Characters / Pairing: immortal!Ianto, Jack, Face of Boe!Jack, Ten, Martha, mentions of Torchwood Three / Jack/Ianto
Word count: 1231
Rating: PG
Warnings: Spoilers for up through Children of Earth and House of the Dead in Torchwood and all of series 3 of Doctor Who. Future fic. Semi AU, set in a little headcanon of mine where the Doctor saves Ianto right after House of the Dead and brings him back to Jack, and as a result of coming back from the dead, Ianto ends up immortal as well. Also second-person POV. I don't like using second-person most of the time, but it just…felt really natural like this, so I hope it's okay.
Summary: Five billion years of traveling the universe together, but it's finally time for Jack to go.
Sometimes Jack forgets. And you understand, a little, because a few years out of hundreds, thousands, is such a small amount, and you certainly don't remember every single person you met. But it still hurts. Jack always says you never forget your first life, and maybe that's why you can remember Toshiko and Owen and Gwen with such amazing clarity even when Jack stumbles over their names, or can't remember what they looked like until you pull out pictures. You've saved pictures, gone back and stolen some from their flats and the Hub, of Owen and Toshiko happily smiling together, and Gwen and Rhys and little Anwen at Anwen's first day of school. It brings back wonderful memories for you, and it's painful, but it's even more painful when Jack looks at them with a level of distance, like he knows he should know them, but doesn't actually feel any connection. But you can't go back, and time doesn't slow for you, it just keeps rushing by, year after year after year, millions and even billions, and it never grows old because you have each other.
When you're sitting in the Senate of New New York, with Jack and Novice Hame, and you want to hold his hand but you can't, his face locked away behind a wall of glass, it hurts. You wish you could go back, and you don't know what you'd do, but you don't want to be here, you don't want to watch Jack giving up his life energy, even though you know it's to keep the motorway powered, saving the last remaining beings on this planet. He doesn't speak now, doesn't have the energy anymore. He's mutated almost beyond recognition, and you wonder how the others from Torchwood would react if they saw him. You still love him, of course, and you talk to him, keep him company. He tells Hame stories of planets far away, and stories of the old Earth, and you recognize some of the concepts as Torchwood missions, but he glosses over the details, rarely mentioning the others. Sometimes it makes you cry, but you're good at hiding it. Jack doesn't need anything else to worry about.
One day, the Doctor and Martha arrive, and you think they can help you, they can help him. If the Doctor can find an alternate power system, Jack can be set free, and maybe he'll return to his old self again. But your heart sinks when the Doctor doesn't recognize Jack or you, calling him the Face of Boe and you his caretaker. You've met the Doctor many times throughout the years, and you know that this must be so far back in their timelines that they don't even know you yet, or know that the Face of Boe is actually Captain Jack Harkness. He admires the Face for living so long, but you have always been forgotten, and you're not surprised that history has never recorded a second being with him. You're only about 2000 years younger than him, after all, which is a drop in the bucket when you've lived five billion. They discuss and plan and the Doctor tries his hardest, but the only solution is to let the citizens of the motorway free, and the only way to open the motorway is to surge an enormous amount of power through. The Doctor can't provide it, and Jack with his everlasting life is the only option. You try to protest, but Jack cuts you off, saying "everything has its time". Even Jack's life must run out someday, but the Rift energy that brought you back must be stronger than the TARDIS energy keeping him alive. The plan is put into action, and it's beautiful, seeing the last inhabitants of New Earth flying in the skies again. It will take time to rebuild the society that was lost, but if you've learned anything in five billion years, it's that humans are persistent, and just keep on surviving. You turn around to Jack, but he's lying on the floor, taking his last breaths, and he's always come back but somehow you know this is it. As he says his last words - "you are not alone" - you cry, partly because you know what chain of events that sets off, and you know that Jack is sending himself to a year of torture, but mostly because Jack is gone, and now you are alone. Five billion years with him, and you don't regret it at all, but you wonder if the Rift will take you back, because without him you have no reason to keep living. It's funny, you think, that when you died the first time, Jack tried to close himself in the Rift, a suicide attempt, and now you're contemplating the same thing.
Hame claims she must help out the citizens of New Earth, but you don't leave the room, and Martha takes pity on you, sitting next to you and rubbing your back. She doesn't know you, but you know her, from the moment you met her cousin at Torchwood One to the very last time you saw her as a UNIT doctor, and all the times in between, all the Torchwood missions. After a short conversation, the Doctor invites you to join them on the TARDIS, just one trip to take you out of here and somewhere else, because he knows that there are too many memories for you to stay. When you enter the amazing bigger-on-the-inside blue box you never quite got used to, the TARDIS hums happily, because she knows you even if the Doctor doesn't. You wander the halls and stumble - not by accident, knowing the old girl - on a certain bedroom, belonging to the Jack Harkness who traveled with the Doctor before he was immortal. It still smells like him, the 51st century pheromones that drove you crazy, and you thank the TARDIS, because she knew exactly what you needed. You pull out the old photos, of Tosh and Owen and Gwen and her family, and you place them on the dresser next to Jack's bed, because you know he'll come back, and you know the TARDIS will give him what he needs too. You don't need them anymore, because you'll always remember. Tosh's kind smile. Owen's sarcastic comments. Gwen, amazingly wonderful Gwen, whose arrival set off what you've always considered the best three years of your long life.
You take a deep breath, looking around, before leaving the room and heading back to the console room. You offer to make coffee for the Doctor and Martha, just the way Jack likes it, though you don't say that out loud. You know you have to leave before they pick up Jack again, or else you'll cross timelines, but maybe they'll let you stay a little longer if you're useful. You want to adventure, you want to keep traveling. Suddenly you want to live. You know that's what Jack would have wanted, because that's what you wanted, all those years ago when you sacrificed yourself to close the Rift and save Jack. The Doctor saved you, and you know he can't save Jack again, but even if Jack's physical body finally died, his spirit still lives on, everywhere around you, and more importantly, in your heart, and you will never forget.
You are not alone.