Title: The Ghost of You
Author: Josephine/Lizabel (Lizabel@roswellian.com)
Summary: Michael POV, character death
Rating: Pg-13 for possibly dark tones
Category: Roswell Ut (Mi/L)
A/N: Sadly enough, I was inspired to write this while listening to a Duran
Duran song on the radio at 11;05 at night. I think it was something about
Ordinary World, maybe you've heard it... Well, I wrote it sitting on the
bathroom floor till 11:20 so I wouldnt wake up my mom or sister.
This is dedicated to all the Polarists at FanForum who have provided a safe
haven for me and my UC tendancies :)
Love you!! Lizzy Guerin
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The Ghost Of You
They killed you to torture Max, to make him give in. Give in to the FBI,
those special unit straggles who became obsessed with what they knew, and
give in to Tess and her destiny. But I was the one who saw you die, the
knives slashing through you, spewing your dark blood in the eerie moonlit
alleyway just out side of Roswell.
I was too late to save you, your last breath spent before I could reach your
cooling body and let the words fall to your ears. So I tell you know, now
when I can never know what your responce will be, or if you're even
listening.
I'll tell you know, I love you.
They didn't give you a burial, at least a public one. I saw them harshly
toss your body into a hole in the desert sand, I watched from far away, and
I cried. Your family and friends were told thet your body was never found.
They did weep for you, I want you to know that people loved you, and tryly
cared for you, you were an important person who mattered. You ARE an
important person. At least to me, you seem still alive. You might have
been "the smallest of small town girls" but you made an impression on
everyone who ever met you. Especially on me.
Sometimes, I'll stay up late at night, and imagine I feel your touch , your
breath, and sometimes, I can smell you nearby- that waifting lavender of the
shampoo you used. The scent of you will forever be engrained in my memory.
I treasure my memories of you. When you came to the trailer park to warn me
of Topolsky and I heard the words, but all I could see was your eyes, and
how they could be in danger because of me and a mistake I might have already
made.
When I sat on my bed, copying page after page of your journal so I could
read them over and over again knowing it would be one of the few glances of
your soul I would ever see. And wanting to cherish those words you skoke
with such certianty, "I'm Liz Parker." And it was then I knew that I wanted
to be the one who your heart went to.
When I heard of your grandmothers death from Max, and inside my heart broke
for you. I only wished I had been the one to help you through it.
When you saw Max kiss Tess and I sent Maria to you, knowing you would need
a friend, wishing the whole time that someday I could be the one to bring
you comfort.
When I showed up at your house that rainy night only to discover that your
shades were drawn and the window was locked, and my heart sunk, knowing that
you, Liz Parker cared enought for my that- if you had known what was going
on- you would have taken me in, and forced me to be helped. Instead I went
to Maria's, where I cried, because I really wanted you.
When I took you in my arms, and held you, for the first and only time.
Those fleeting moments when Your eyes would catch mine, and a spark of
electricity would flow between us, the rebel and the schoolgirl, the polar
opposites, and for a moment, I could feel we were connected.
I feel that connection now, when I talk to the air, and you seem to comfort
me while I dry my tears. Yes, Liz, I would have been Max Evans for you.
But I would have rathered I was Michael Guerin, the Michael who loved you
without abandon, or pretence in the silence of those looks.
But I didn't have time.
You were taken away from all of us too soon. I felt like a piece of my soul
I didn't know was there had been ripped from me, as I watched the light
fade from your eyes, and I had to walk away.
So, no here with the essence of you, I decide to move on. I could never
have Liz Parker alive, so, while you're with me, let me tell you I would
never give away the time we had together for any knowledge that you are
really here now.
Because it's enough just for me to believe that you haunt me, Liz Parker.
In more ways than one.