Natasha sighed as she flopped down on the cheap double bed at the basic but inconspicuous hotel in Edinburgh. So far in her career, she hadn't made it to Scotland and it was such a small country in comparison to the one on her passport that she had always been amused at the strong sense of identity it had for such a small chunk of an already minute island. She felt horrible, groggy and out of touch. If the hotel had a gym that's where she'd be.
Exercise had always helped, even back when she was a kid- before the surgery. Natasha knew that researching the topic of tubal ligations and other surgeries used for sterilisation did not necessarily mean they would apply to her. Looking back, to before the graduation, to Siberia and Nikolai, she may have had some sort of issues back then, but since the surgery, huh, she sometimes forgot that periods even existed.
They were awkward, messy and could get hard to manage a mission and she knew shit was about to go down this time, she just knew. According to Tony, that time of the month turned her from super-bitch to platinum bitch. She wasn't sure that was an upgrade she needed when in close quarters with him.
Now, of all the times to be feeling off, she was about to journey to some African country which only Steve had ever seen. They were about to face something big, something bigger than the creeps at the train station. She wasn't looking forward to it. Still, one of the ways to keep up the image of being one of the boys was not to let a little blood put her off. There was a soft knock on the adjoining door.
Steve.
She called to him, "It's open!"
"Are you decent?"
"Always. But I'm dressed."
Steve cautiously turned the door handle and looked straight ahead upon entering the room as if expecting to be met with Natasha in lingerie rather than a long t-shirt which she couldn't place and she presumed belonged to either Bruce or Clint. Or maybe Steve.
"Phone for you." He held out a burner. Basic Nokia, nothing interesting.
"Who is it?" Natasha asked, wondering who on earth could phone them on a burner, unless Clint had eyes on she didn't know who would have that knowledge.
"Pepper."
Natasha's eyebrows raised in response, prompting the ex-captain to give more information.
"We need to keep track of the situation at home. And she's more or less part of the team. She said she needs to speak with you."
Natasha frowned but took the phone. It wasn't as if she and Pepper had ever been great friends- not by any means - so why was she needing her help now.
"Nat?" Natasha sighed and ushered Steve out of the room.
There was a good chance if Pepper was speaking to her then she didn't want anyone else to know her thoughts.
"Yeah, just me. Steve's gone." She promised as soon as the dot clicked shut behind him.
To Natasha's surprise, the usually calm and collected woman who ran the Stark company began to sob.
"I didn't know who else to tell, Tony's missing and I don't want to tell people and get them excited, I'm not sure this is the right time."
Natasha frowned deeper, what was she going to do, break up with Stark?
"Slow down. What's happened, what's he done?"
Pepper took a deep, crackly breath across the already crackly phone line.
"I only did the test yesterday, I wasn't going to do one at all but it added up and Tony said something and-."
"You're pregnant." Natasha interrupted before the sentence was out. It didn't take an average person to figure out what she was saying let alone a deep cover spy. She wasn't overly surprised, Tony had always been the type of guy to want it all, even if to get that he had to cram it all into a sardine tin. Why Pepper needed her opinion, that was something she wasn't sure about.
Pepper sniffed on the other end of the phone.
"I'm fine, I'm holding it together. I just don't know what to do."
Natasha sighed. It wasn't often she had to do girl talk – one of the reasons she enjoyed the company of Steve and Sam – but she happened to be a woman and Wanda had enough to deal with. Besides She had known Pepper for the longest.
"Was it planned?"
"No, we just got engaged. We are not ready for another step."
"Oh. Congrats and all, nice to see Tony stepping up."
Natasha chewed the end of her fingernails. They were getting long, but it helped her think. What would she do in this situation? No. She knew what she would do, what would the average woman do? A woman that wanted kids, that could have kids and hadn't had to long shut out that possibility.
"Nat, how do I do this, what if he-."
"Don't. Don't finish that sentence. Pepper, I know I haven't always been your favourite person, and I know you probably don't trust me but I know this stuff. I know it isn't worth worrying about him. He'll get out of it, somehow he always does."
There was a pause, a long and deep pause with only breathing to be heard over the little phone.
"I didn't phone you because I thought you'd know."
Natasha paused, surprised at this response even though it made sense.
"I knew you'd be honest. I knew you would tell me straight, thank you for that."
Natasha nodded but let silence fall for another moment.
Pepper laughed once into her end of the call,
"I just, don't take this the wrong way but, how does this not happen to you, you are-,"
"Sort of a whore?"
"No! I didn't mean-,"
"it's ok," Natasha laughed, "It's part of the job description. Let's just say I'm as protected as I can possibly be."
She paused for a moment more,
"And Pepper? Don't do anything yet. As much as he is an ass for disappearing and a total moron most of the time, Tony will be a great Dad, you both deserve this."
The conversation played on Natasha's mind for a while after it had finished. She lay curled on the hotel bed. Her stomach was cramping to no end and her head was splitting but all she thought about was Pepper, Tony and their baby.
She had a reputation, Natasha had always known she had a reputation for sleeping around, for spending the night and then disappearing soon after, with or without the person's life. She knew she would never have the life that Pepper and Tony were destined for but, hey, it wasn't for her. It would never be for her. Her body would never allow it.