The Discussion

Recently SHINee had had it tough, it was nearing their debut for their new single 'Sherlock' and they were all piled down with work. If they weren't rehearsing, they were on variety shows, or ding a big interview: but no one had it quite as bad as their leader good old chicken maniac Onew. He would rise at the crack of dawn to check everything would run smoothly for his other members, he would make sure everything was in place so all they had to do was turn up. Onew found that as the leader it was his job to make theirs as easy and stress free as possible, only problem with that was the fact he was now more stressed out than ever. Also as he was the leader he was requested for the most appearances and interviews so he barely got enough time to eat and sleep, but you would never find Onew complaining. Onew made sure to keep all that bad stuff hidden away behind a mask, but on the outside he was happy go lucky chicken maniac who was constantly having his Onew Condition. On the outside SHINee was the perfect brotherly family!

As all them members of SHINee rode back to the dorm in their van, they smiled and laughed over completely random things. They were all exhausted from a full day of dance rehearsals and they needed to relieve the stress with a good laugh. When they reached the dorm, all 5 members and their Manager exited the van, still chuckling over a lame joke made by Onew. Key turned to Taemin who was pretending to moan about being asleep on his feet, so with one quick motion, scooped him up bridal style and carried him inside, despite his protests. The others laughed but as Minho and Jonghyun were about to follow, they realised their leader wasn't with them, they turned back to see where he was but he waved them off with a smile,

"It's ok guys, you go on ahead. I need to talk to Manager." they nodded and went inside, out of the cold. Manager looked to Onew and he could tell what this was about, they had had quite a few talks about this same subject over the past few weeks and smiling to him, led the way inside and into his office. He knew as a manager he shouldn't have favourites but still, Onew seemed like an exception.

On the way up to their dorm, Jonghyun realised he left his jacket behind in the van, he was about to turn back and get it when Minho said,

"Wait a minute, I'll come too; it's getting dark." he nodded gratefully and together they sprinted back downstairs. Once they had the jacket they walked slowly back into the building and as they walked down the corridor they heard the voices of Onew and Manager. They wanted to respect their Hyung's privacy but they couldn't help when they overheard Onew's next words,

"Please, I need to leave as soon as possible." the others turned to each other, confusion written on their faces. "I don't want to just sit here any more, I need to go. I'll deal with the transport and all that myself, I just need your permission to leave. Our contracts end soon. Oh, but one more thing: please don't tell the others, I don't want them to know" Minho and Jonghyun looked to each other, one face held sadness while the other held anger. They started to leave and the last thing they heard before they turned the corner was, "It's driving me crazy being here..." And with that the 2 members crept away, hearts heavier as they bore the new information that their leader would soon be leaving them.

When they reached the dorm, they found both Key and Taemin sitting on the couch laughing merrily over a joke they just missed. They looked up from their conversation with smiles still etched on their faces, until they saw the grave expressions on their fellow member's faces. Key jumped up first and went over to the two and started fussing over them just like any Umma would,

"What happened? Are you ok? Are you hurt?" he asked, scanning them up and down for injures.

"No we aren't hurt. Well not physically." Jonghyun answered and grabbed Key's hands gently in his own to prevent him from fussing over him any more. Key looked up in confusion.

"Not physically? What do you mean?" Jonghyun led him back over to the couch and sat him down next to Taemin while he and Minho stood in front of them as they recounted the whole conversation they over heard between Manager and Onew. By the end of their story Key had covered his mouth with his hand and Taemin had tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Hyung is going to leave us?" he whimpered and started to sob quietly. When Minho noticed this he rushed to his side and scooped him up, sat down in his place and sat him in his lap, cuddling him closely and wanting to comfort him but he didn't know what to say. "Why does he hate us?"

"I can't believe he told Manager we were driving him crazy, and what is worse he told him not to tell us about him leaving." Key said angrily,

"I know baby, he's terribly selfish. I can't believe after all we've been through..." Jonghyun faded off speechless and angry. Taemin looked up from Minho's shoulder,

"But... what do... we do... now?" he stuttered, holding tightly to Minho's shirt. Minho got very angry when he saw what Onew had done to his beloved Taemin, and he wouldn't stand for it.

"Well..." he said, his voice seething with bitterness, "I say until he admits that he is sick of us and wants to leave, we should ignore him and give him the space from us he clearly wants" he finished. Both Key and Jonghyun nodded their heads sadly.

"I think you're right Minho, he needs to admit it to us before we can acknowledge him again." Key replied sadly and Jonghyun brought him into a hug to comfort him. Taemin didn't want to ignore his Hyung even if he was upset by what he said, but because all his other Hyungs were in on it, he couldn't escape it either.

It was just then when Onew suddenly made his appearance in the dorm and as he walked in on both couples hugging and saw Taemin's red face, he knew something was wrong, as the leader he hated to see any of his members upset or stressed.

"Hey guys, what's going on?" he asked in a soft tone, but what he didn't expect was the glares that Jonghyun and Minho sent him before standing up and taking their boyfriends into their own rooms and harshly slamming the door behind them, leaving him stunned and standing alone in the suddenly deserted living room. "What on earth got into them?" he asked himself. "Are they mad at me? Did I do something wrong?" he started to question himself. Unknown to the other SHINee members, Onew was a very insecure and stressed out leader. He hated to see anyone else around him hurting and would help them in whatever possible way he could even if it meant sacrificing his own pleasure, time and sleep. He was constantly doubting himself as a leader as he had no one to tell him what a good job he was doing and no one to comfort him when the pressure became to high. The others often thought about how he never told them much about his past or any worries he might have, even though he took time to see to each of their own personally and would always strive to do his best. He was very happy as the leader of SHINee but that didn't mean he too didn't have his bad days, but he always made sure to put on his mask and smile like he always did, he had promised himself to never give away what he felt inside as he knew the others would worry, the one thing he didn't want them to have to do.

So confused and upset, Onew retreated to his room and pulled out his diary from beneath his mattress. He opened the book and flipped through the pages filled with happy memories, stickers, doodles and photos that littered the pages until he reached the next blank page where he scribbled down a short account of that day, closed it again and hid it back under his mattress ready for the next time he would have need of it. Sighing he turned over on his side, and still wondering about the other's reaction, he soon fell asleep.