Author: UniDagger

Title: Discovery

Email: unidagger@hotmail.com
Feedback: Yes, please!
Distribution: Just let me know.
Spoilers: none
Pairing: W/T, B/S, X/A…you know, the usual *G*
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimers: Joss and Co. own the BTVS chars, no infringement intended.
Summary: Sequel to Connections. Tara was not allowed to attend college, so the fates used the internet to bring the two soul mates together. In this story, Tara deals with her past, and learns to accept Willow's love as she learns what it means to be human. Tara's self discovery journey.

NOTE: No bunnies, and no strange men with cheese slices appearing for no reason.

 Part One

     Tara huddled in the corner trying to hide from her father. He yelled as he advanced on her swearing, screaming his outrage. Demon. Filthy whore. Disgusting witch. You don't deserve to live, no one wants you. He was standing there now, he'd found her. She begged, tears streaming, but he raised his fist and it came smashing at her.  Tara cried out, sitting up in bed as she did so, her arms up to protect herself from the blow. She sobbed as she ripped herself from the nightmare. Willow awoke with a jerk; she blinked, then realized what had happened. She tried to put her arms around Tara, but the shaking girl pushed her away and ran and huddled in the corner.

     Willow cursed Tara's father silently, then got out of bed, pulling the blanket with her. "Baby?" Tara sat with her legs drawn up, holding them tightly with her arms. "No."  "Tara? It's ok. You're safe here." Willow sat close to her and slowly put her arms around Tara. She didn't fight as much this time, just whimpered.  Willow pulled the blanket around the both of them, and held her girl.  "It's ok. I'm here. I won't let him hurt you anymore, Tara. You're safe."

     "I'm dirty."  The blonde whispered, her body still trembling.  "No, you're not. You're a beautiful human girl who was hurt. It wasn't your fault. He lied to you…about everything. You have to remember that, hon. He lied!"  Tara sniffled, trying not to cry anymore. She hurt so badly inside. She knew she was free, but she feared one day she would wake up, and this would all have been a dream. That Willow was a dream. One she didn't deserve. She began crying again and Willow held her, rocking her; whispering words of love and comfort.

      When the alarm went off at 7:00 a.m. the next morning, Tara stretched and sat up. She realized she and Willow were curled up together on the floor; then she remembered her nightmare. Willow opened her eyes and smiled at her. Tara tried to smile back but failed. Worry sprang forward in Willow's eyes. "It's ok, Tara." She sat up and kissed her gently on the lips.  "I'm sorry, Willow."

     "What for?"

     "I keep having these stupid nightmares and waking you…"

     "Shhh. It's ok. There will come a time when they will lessen, and then stop. If losing a couple hours of sleep is the price of having you…I will gladly pay them."

     "You're too good to me. I don't deserve you." Tara sighed as she stood and turned the alarm clock off. Willow stood up and tossed the blanket onto the bed, then walked over to Tara and pulled her into her arms. "Stop putting yourself down, Tara. That's one of his lies. You do deserve me. Um…" Willow paused, "Ok, that sounded very egotistical…but you know what I mean right? You deserve love. You deserve friends, and a life, you deserve happiness."

     Tara turned in Willows arms to face her, wrapping her arms around Willows waist. "I love you, Willow." She wanted to say more but she couldn't seem to find the words. Willow kissed her. "I know. I love you too." They held each other for a few more minutes then Willow decided to lighten the mood by challenging Tara to a shower race. They raced down the hall giggling.  Tara's longer legs carried her just ahead of Willow. As she neared the bathroom, Willow tossed her towel over Tara and slipped into the bathroom, racing for a stall.

     "Hey! That's cheating." Tara laughed, dodging into her own stall. "Merely a distraction, hon. It's approved in the shower race rule book, page 58." Willow told her as she turned the water on. Tara stood on the bench and peeked over at Willow, holding the towel high. "And what is the rule on keeping the towel that was used to distract you." Tara laughed. 

     "Uh oh. Um, you have to give it back." Willow said, looking up. Tara shook her head slowly. "I'm pretty sure I saw something about keeping the spoils. Page 72, subsection B wasn't it?" Tara mocked.  Willow pursed her lips, then grinned. "Oooh, you're good. I'm going to have to revise the Rule Book, I think."

     Tara smiled. "Do you forfeit?"

     Willow looked indignant. "What? Never!" She got a mischievous glint in her eyes, and slowly began unbuttoning her pajama top.  Tara gulped, but held her ground.  "Race isn't over to you're back in your room….and you lose points if your clothes are sopping wet. Page 81." 

    "Well then – "

    "And no magic! Page 83." Tara hurried, laughing as Willow groaned ad stomped her foot. "That's so not fair."  "Sorry, Will…you made the rules." 

     Willow cocked her head to the side and gave her girlfriend a crooked grin, "I think the editor has take some liberties here." Tara waved the towel. "Forfeit?"  Willow gave a mock sigh.  "Ok. You win. This time!!" Tara chuckled and dropped the towel down to the redhead, then stepped down. She undressed quickly and stepped into the shower. Willow had forfeited way to easy….  The thought nagged at her as she closed her eyes and rinsed the shampoo from her hair.

    Tara turned off the tap then squeezed water from her hair. As she moved the curtain aside, she looked at the bench where her clothes had been.  "WILLOW!!" 

     "Yes, dear?" A too-innocent, too-sweet voice inquired, trying desperately to mask a giggle.  "That's cheating!! Give me my clothes." Tara told her, trying not to laugh.  "First you must confess that I won and declare the race completed and over."

     "Tricky, tricky, tricky." Tara's eyes narrowed.  "Alright. You win."

     A towel flipped over the second curtain. Tara reached up and pulled it over, and began drying herself.

    "And?" Willow's voice prompted again.

     Tara wrapped the towel around herself and stepped out, grabbing Willow who eeped then laughed. Tara kissed her, but her roaming hands couldn't get the clothes from her.

    Tara smiled. "And…."

    "Yes?" Willow urged.

    "page-99-race-ends-when-dressed-origonal-carried-clothes-not-required" she raced out into the hall and towards their room. She slammed the door shut and locked it, and launched herself at the closet.

Willow pounded on the door. "Hey!!! Ya sneak!" Willow mumbled 'open' as she waved her hand over the doorknob. She stepped in as Tara slipped a dress over her, giving Willow the briefest glimpse of flesh. "I win." Willow declared. Tara whipped around. "What? No way. I was in first."

      "Yes, but you're not dressed….completely…." She held up Tara's bra and panties, grinning wickedly. Tara blushed and grinned.

******

      "I think I'm jealous." Buffy exclaimed as the group sat at the lunch table. "What?" Willow asked. Buffy nodded at Tara. "You started later than us, and already you're caught up. I wish I was that smart." Tara blushed, "You are that smart, Buffy. You're more than that. I couldn't begin to compete with you. Besides, I had to take all those summer courses."

     Buffy grinned. "Maybe, but I think being levitated would void my strength…so…I guess we're pretty even." Willow grinned and hugged Tara. "So, are we on for tonight? Secret mission and all?"  Buffy shrugged. "Yeah, I guess so. Though I still don't know what to get her." 

     "How can you not know what to get your own sister?" Willow chastised teasingly.  Tara poked at her food. "Give her time."

     "Huh?" Buffy asked, "Time for what?"

     Tara kept her eyes on her plate. "You. I mean…spend…some t-time with her." Tara shrugged, embarrassed.  "That's a good idea, Baby." Willow told her.  "Hmm. You may be right, Tara." Buffy thought about it. "I am gone a lot..maybe I'll set a day and we can go shopping, do lunch…go see a movie?" She looked at her friends for approval.  "She'll love it." Willow approved.

     They finished their lunches then raced off to class. When Tara finished, she went back to their room to wait for Willow.  She sat on the bed and looked over at herself in the mirror that hung on the back of the closet door.  She didn't know this Tara. Who am I?  Tara sighed heavily and walked over to the mirror. She sat down and crossed her legs, resting her head on her hands.  She used to know. She was something to be hated and loathed. Kicked.  But this…she stared at the blonde that looked back….just a girl.  Hate the demon…but what of the girl?  The blue eyes that stared back at her were sad, but there was something else there now. Something Tara hadn't noticed before. Hope maybe? Some light had been shone into the dark of her heart, and it was Willow's hand that held that light.'

     "Baby?" Willow's voice came from the door. Tara gasped, and jumped up. "I-I'm sorry." "Tara? You're doing it again." Tara frowned, "Sorry." Willow laughed softly. "Stop saying sorry. You have nothing to apologize for. Are you ok?"  Tara nodded, keeping her eyes to the floor until Willow walked up and with a gentle hand, lifted her chin. "Don't droop, baby. There's no one here that is better than you. You hold your head up high. Don't hide those beautiful eyes."

     Tara looked up at Willow, then stepped into her, putting her head on Willow's shoulder. She sighed as Willow wrapped her arms around her. "What's the matter, Baby?" Tara just held her tighter and shook her head slightly. "Can I ask what you were doing?"  Tara nodded, but offered no answer. "Ok….what were you doing?" Tara could feel Willow's grin and suppressed a giggle, then shrugged. She pulled back and looked at Willow.  "I was just…trying to figure out who I was.  I don't know me anymore Willow."

     "Give it time, Tara."

     "But time takes so long." Tara whined half-heartedly. "It's been seven months."

     "And it took a whole lifetime of unhappiness and fear to beat you down to that point. It's going to take time for you to come out of that pit…but I'll be there every step of the way, Baby."

     "Hey, I got you something."  Willow said suddenly as she reached into her back pocket.  Tara tried to peer around Willow to see what it was. "Nuh uh, no peeking."

     "Aww." Tara grinned. "Is it a pony?"

     "Um, no. I tried to get you one but it wouldn't fit in my pocket then it ran down the street chasing this giant carrot." Tara laughed then looked thoughtful again.

     "Is it….a big cheesecake with chocolate chips?"

     "Um, no. That is what I had, but it was so yummy I ate it. Sorry." Willow grinned.

    "What is it?" Tara begged, no longer able to wait.

     "Hmm…maybe I should wait till later to give it to you." Willow teased.

     "No no no…please? I won't ask for a pony anymore." Tara offered, trying to sneak around Willow again. Willow giggled then brought her hand up, holding a small, red, velvet box.

     Tara stared at the little box, then looked up at Willow. "Its ok," Willow encouraged her, "take it."  Tara slowly reached for it. She stood there holding it, almost afraid to open it. With her other hand she gently lifted the lid and gasped at what she saw.  A silver necklace with a heart pendant stared back at her. The words "I'm here" were engraved across the middle. "May I put it on you, Tara?" Willow asked quietly. Tara nodded, unable to speak. No one had ever given her anything so beautiful….so special.

     Willow pulled the necklace from the box, and stepped behind Tara. Once the clasp was connected, Willow moved her hands to Tara's waist, then kissed the back of her neck.  "Now no matter where you are, you'll know I'm always with you."

     Tara turned around, her fingers caressing the silver heart. She opened her mouth to say something, then closed it..not sure how to express her feelings. Willow leaned in and kissed her lips softly. Tara kissed her back, then smiled shyly. "Willow?"

     "Yes, Baby?"

      "No one has ever….  I… You're so good to me. You know how much I love you, d-don't you?"

     "Um…2 and ¾?" Willow winked at her.

     Tara grinned back and shook her head.

     "5 and 3/8 ?"

     Tara reached out a hand and touched Willow's cheek.  "I love you so much, it's immeasurable."

     "Wow. That's a lot." Willow whispered. 

     Just then Buffy walked up to the door and knocked, calling, "Will? Tara? You guys in?..we gotta go." The girls smiled at each other, then Willow walked to the door, but paused before opening it.  "I love you too…so very much. You know that, right?"  Tara nodded, her hand going to her locket again. "Thank you."  "You're welcome."

Part 2

     Dawn greeted them at the door, bouncing with excitement. "You came. I knew you'd come."  She grabbed Tara's arm and pulled her inside. Willow and Buffy followed, then Buffy walked over to her mom who had just stepped out of the kitchen. "Hi, mom!" She hugged her.  Mrs. Summers noticed Dawn pulling Tara to the living room. "Dawnie, hon. You're going to pull Tara's poor arm off." Dawn rolled her eyes, "Oh mom!"

      "I-it's ok, M-Mrs. Summers. I…have another arm." Tara reassured with a smile, letting the girl pull her towards the couch. "So how do you feel being all old and stuff, Dawnie?" Dawn shrugged. "Same as yesterday…grounded. Willow laughed, then walked into the dining room to place their gifts on the table. Tara hugged the teenager. "How much longer until you are paroled?"

     "Hmm…what year is it?" Mrs Summers teased. Dawnie groaned and hid her face in Tara's shoulder. "Hey mom, can I help you in the kitchen?" Buffy asked. "Oh, that's ok, Sweetie. I think everything is ready and already in the other room." Buffy sighed. "Well….could you show me the …uh…." She tried to think of something not obvious and failed.

     "Ice water." Tara said suddenly.

     "Ice water. Right. Ice water?" Buffy looked at Tara questioningly.  "You said you'd get me some ice water when we got in…remember?" Tara stressed.  "Right! That's what I meant."

     "And you forgot where the ice is?" Mrs. Summers asked, still not getting it. "I can get it for you." Dawn suggested, frowning at Buffy.  "No, no. You sit h-here and tell me how school is going. U-unless…you don't want to talk to me." Tara gave a dramatic sigh. Dawn looked towards Buffy again, wondering what she was up to, then proceeded to tell Tara all about the latest high school gossip and complain about Mr. Avery, the history teacher, who was just impossible.  Buffy took her mom's arm and dragged her into the kitchen.

*****

     After dinner, Dawn got to open her presents. She received several outfits and a diary from Mrs. Summers, and a couple books and a bottle of perfume from Willow and Tara. Xander and Anya had sent over their presents earlier, telling Dawn they were sorry they couldn't make it. "I didn't even realize the company dinner was the same night." Xander had told her. From them, Dawn had received four music CDs and the movie Scary Movie, much to Mrs Summer and Buffy's dismay. "That movie is so lame." Buffy told her. "Is not! You have no sense of humor…one too many wacks from a vamp." Dawn shouted at her. "Girls!"

     Dawn finished opening her gifts and thanked everyone, then looked oddly at Buffy, having not received anything from her yet. There was another missing present too. Not that she wanted anything, she told herself. "Dawn?" Buffy spoke. The phone chose that moment to ring, causing everyone to jump. Dawn got a hopeful look in her eyes and dashed to answer it. She came back looking utterly disheartened. "Telemarketer." She sighed, and sat down.

     Buffy walked over and put her arms around her little sister. "He's probably not going to call."

     "I know. He never does."

     "It's hard not to hope." The slayer hugged her sister, knowing all too well the disappointment of a father who never called or even remembered a birthday.  "Dawn?" Buffy knelt down next to her, holding out a small blue wrapped package. "This is just part of my gift. I hope you like it." Dawn took the gift and opened it. "It's that silver bracelet I saw!" Buffy nodded.  "What's….the rest?" Dawn asked, hoping she was sounding too greedy.

     "Well, I don't know if you'll want it….but….." Buffy took a deep breath. "It's me"

     Dawn gave her a confused look then grinned, "Can I exchange it?"  "Dawn!" Mrs. Summers exclaimed. "I was kidding! What do you mean 'you', Buffy?" Dawn asked.

     "Well, I know I haven't been around much, and I thought maybe…that is if you wanted….we could go shopping, grab some pizza and go see that corny movie you wanted to see. I talked to mom, she said we can go Saturday, you'll get one day reprieve from your grounding."

     "You really want to do that?" Dawn asked, "With me?"

     Buffy looked at her, "Dawn, yes. I love you, you're my sister! I know we don't always – " Dawn lunged forward and wrapped her arms around her big sister. "That's the best present ever." She whispered, hugging the slayer tightly.  Buffy hugged her back, then teased in a gasping voice, "Can't….breathe….air….."  Dawn laughed and eased back.  "We're really going on Saturday? Just you and me?" She glanced at Willow and Tara, "Not that I mean…I mean, I love when you two…"

     "No worries, Dawnie. We'll all hang out again soon, but Saturday is for you and Buffy." Willow assured her.

     "Happy Birthday, sis." Buffy told her, echoed by everyone else. 

TBC….