Author's Note: I am officially in love with Xion. Though I don't know too much about her, her look, personality (of what i've seen and read), and her placement in the kh series, is amazing. and here I am with a XionAxel, a pairing I couldn't help but like after writing my RikuXion (and I couldn't keep from putting hints of AxelXion in it) So here's a fic about her life in the Organization, from the beginning. Please enjoy and review :)
--
hide&seek
--
"I'm can't remember something important"
It's the faintest and foggiest of memories. Placed in a far back corner of my mind, shivering and forgotten like a child. Hmph, since when was I so poetic? Death (in some form or another) has made me poetic I guess. But through my mind's eye, I can see myself, faint and distant, in front of a million shining, blinding lights. And i'm the center of attention and they're all laughing. Deep down, though it's hard to remember, I see myself when I was alive, a memory. And now, reborn and relocated to a pristine, white castle in the middle of deep, darkness, I get a rush of deja vu.
"Everyone, today is a day to be remembered." His voice booms and all the black-coated men (and I noticed one other female) sit up straight, edged on their seats, eyes of all different shades and creeds focused on the Superior. He lifts his hands, pulling his hood off, a long curtain of silver glimmering against darker skin. His lips hold a sneer, predatory, proud maybe, of the fact that a new piece of meat (that's me), has been found.
Yes found, like a wounded cat to take home to the family. I would admit though, I did behave a bit feline-like when those strong pair of hands gripped my shivering shoulders, my head pounding from the thunder and lightening that skid across the concrete flooring. My hands punched and slapped and I scratched and bit, like an angry tom cat, my teeth bared, my head shaking. I was lost, wet and bare on the floor, and even when I was wrapped up in black leather robes and dragged off, I didn't want to go. I had a feeling I was taking one, two, three steps back to finding out who I really am.
I can see from my place in the shadows, their faces, anxious and speculating. There's one man with an eye patch over one eye, though the other, glowing like fire in it's orange creed, wide and when I look really carefully, nervous. What? Nervous of little old me? Ha, that's funny. I also notice the girl with blond slicked back hair, strands sticking up and out, antenna-like. She's pretty but that look in her eyes, jealousy, malice, is too frightening.
"We have a new member. The 14th member." I take this as my cue, stepping forward into the bright, fluorescent lights. My eyes take a second to adjust and they dance a bit, vision swimming. I blink once, twice, and then I glance curiously upon their faces, all thirteen of them. They look shocked and I don't know why. My robe covers my entire body, though the robe doesn't cover my frame, small and petite, and maybe that's what gets them. My hood, heavy in it's leather state, is up above my head, shadowing my eyes and leaving my bottom half of my face to be stared upon. My chin has always been lean and delicate and maybe they notice that too. "Name?" The Superior questions, turning to face me. He is about 6'5 and I stand at a measly 5'2. It's intimidating.
"Xion." I whisper, feeling the same rush of deja vu. I stand in the spot light, comfortable behind my hood, my security blanket. Until The Superior waves his hand, gives me this look and I comply with orders, as I will be for the duration of my stay here. I reach up, holding the folds of my hood for a second, before slowly letting it fall away from my face. A few gasps and murmurs are heard but I just stay frozen, eyes downcast at the floor. I am in the spot light, now where's the laughter?
"A girl?" A loud voice questions bitingly followed by cackles and snickers. There it is, I think as I glance up at the owner of the voice. I narrow my eyes at his blood red spikes, potruding from all sides and angles. His head is tilted up as he laughs and I nearly look away but when he looks at me, with acid green eyes, poisonous, flickering along my face, my body, I realize I am branded with them.
--
Okay, so maybe I can handle the laughing, the stares, and the snickers from some of the organization members I met. But when I see a flurry of porcupine spikes and that face, angular and chiseled turn the corner, those eyes locking onto mine, I just want to run away. I pretend like I don't see him and turn around, near tripping over my over-sized robe. I'm not running, I tell myself, I just don't feel like dealing with a sexist asshole.
"Hey, Hey wait up." I hear his voice, a cocky, superior tone hidden beneath it and I pretend like he doesn't exist, even more so than we already do. I feel his hand on my shoulder and I jump, whipping around and staring at him, as if his very touch burnt me. He looks pleased with himself, lips pulled back into a half-smile, eyes squinted slightly in a smug manner. "Whoah." He held up his hands in defense. "Didn't mean to scare you."
Cocky, arrogant, I was right. Though the assumptions aren't really too hard to figure out, considering this guy oozes with the tone that he definately has love for himself. Me and over-confident guys don't get along, or at least, that's what I conclude as I watch him. His chin is raised high, his eyes watching me through thick, coal lashes. He raises his brows, expecting an answer and I think about just turning around and ignoring this guy all together. But instead, I puff out my chest, stand on my tippy-toes to make him think I am about the same height as him (though even on my toes I am a good few centimeters shorter) and I narrow my eyes. "Scare me? Hmm, you wish." I grin at the shock that passes over his eyes for a second or two, then impassive confidence is replaced, his expression of choice.
He laughs that condescending laugh again and cups my chin with his palm, a very daring move for someone I obviously don't like. I shift my head to the side, trying to crane my neck so my face is out of his grasp, but he holds tightly, fingertips squeezing my cheeks gently. "Listen, Xia, just because your in the Organization XII doesn't mean your tough." He hisses, grinning his over-confident smug grin at me, my cheeks red hot from anger. "All you do is knock things out of balance. How can there be a 14th member in the Organization XII? That doesn't make sense." He says more to himself than me and I take this second of distraction to push him off me, my hand flying to my cheek to rub it.
"First off, its Xion." I say, watching as he laughs in response to my correction. He really drives me crazy and I barely met the guy. He's frustrating and I clench and unclench my fists, my palms shaking slightly. Of course I'm not going to hit him, he could break my wrist in one fluid motion, but I'm not about to let him know i'm scared. "And ... do I sense some intimidation?" I smirk, crossing my arms over my chest and trying to form an intimdating stance.
His face suddenly turns serious and in a rush of red he has me tripping over my own feet, sprawled out on the floor. I see black robes and leather and when I look up into eyes, fierce like forest flames. I hold my breathe, trying not to cry out or tremble as I stare at him, so close, our noses brushing. I can see every line, every crevice in his face and I notice, tribal markings beneath those angry eyes. I see his facial structure, angles sharp and high, a slightly feminine look to his features. And then, my eyes meet with his and the stare is so hard and intense I feel almost frozen.
"Do I look intimidated?" Axel speaks in a barely-audible voice, a hiss, and I stare at his face, jaw clenched and lips set in a straight line. I can feel his hot breath hitting my face. I close my eyes, hoping if when I open them he'll be away but no, instead he moves closer and I scoot backwards, my shoes squeaking against the marble floor. "Do I?" He persists, his lips pursing and then spreading slowly into a smirk.
"...No." I tell him, my brows knitting together, my eyes setting themselves in a glare. "Get off me." I push him away, standing shakily to my feet and walking away, my breathing heavy as I recall how his eyes looked, how intense they were. Behind me, I hear him shout to me,
"It's Axel by the way. Commit it to Memory." And I hear darkness swirling behind me.
--
After my not-so-warm welcome from "Axel" or whatever the hell his name is, I have been growing accustomed to my stay here. The walls are a little less white and blinding and the organization members are a little less crazy, a little less wild and errattic. But that might just be the fact that I haven't seen Axel in a week. I've mostly been spending time with Demyx, the organization member that controlled the element of water. I enjoy his company because he's light-hearted, caring and definately the easiest to be around. His light and care-free humor is casual and similar to mine and it was a break from older, stricter men.
Another friend (the term used loosely in his case) is Roxas. Next to me in number, Roxas, number thirteen, is around my age, give or take a few years. His personality is more relaxed than Demyx, but I know how to bring out his other, crazier side. When I need time to relax and talk, I can always count on Roxas to sit there and listen, or at least pretend to. But there's something that always catches my eye, always makes me pause and catch my breath, those double-wielding Keyblades resting against the porcelain, white wall. I watch with earnest interest and awe. Why does Roxas need two Keyblades after all? When I only have my fists as a weapon. I walk out of his room once our talks are over and as I leave I stare at the two weapons, biting my lip.
I don't see where i'm going and don't notice the body I bump into. "Oh sor--" I turn, about to give them a sincere apology, until I notice those same green eyes staring at me in that look that I hadn't been able to shake out of my head. I glare at him, pushing past him and storming out of the room. I slam the door behind me, my eyes scanning my hands that I hold up to my face. Burning.
--
I never thought it'd feel this good to hold the hilt of that Keyblade in the palm of my hand. Maybe i'm being a bit too melodramatic, but I fight with my hands, ultimately making me the weakest of the Organization XII, the 14th member, the odd girl out. But now as I hurry through the white halls of the pristine castle, my chest thudding against my ribcage, I feel empowered, strong. I nearly giggle with glee as I round the corner, sneakily and out of breath. I've made it past all the Organization member's room, and they didn't wake up. Even when I trippped over my stupid robe and fell to the slick floors, the Keyblade sliding away from me with a clank. I don't know whose room I was passing by when it happened, but no one ran out so I guess they didn't hear.
"So, not only do you fuck up the numerical system but your a thief too?"
I gasp, immediately covering my mouth and angry that I let my sneak-attacker hear it. I also drop my Keyblade (well Roxas' Keyblade) on the ground and I wince when I hear the clatter.
"Nice."
I turn around angrily, knowing all-too-well who it was that was behind me. "What's your problem?" I say, my voice nothing more than a small hiss. Axel's there, haughty as always, with his hands crossed over his chest and his head titled upward. He's inspecting me through lidded eyes again. He's trying to be superior again, those stupid (though pretty) stupid jade eyes burning holes in me, searing me with his intensity.
He just laughs, lips curling back into a amused half-smille. I feel like running over there and smacking him across the face, leaving a fiery imprint on his cheek. So I prepare to storm over there, though my foot lands on the handle of the hilt of the blade and because of the slippery traction of the floor--sends me flying back while sending the weapon flying forward.
I wince, landing on my back my head briefly colliding with the floor. I barely make time to recover and instead scurry on my hands and feet towards the flying weapon. No way am I going to let Axel get his hands on it. Then he'd take it and for sure tell both Roxas and the Superior. And i'd definately get into some big kind of trouble.
Before I can grab it, Axel has his leathered-fingers wrapped around it, his lips spreading into a wide smile, cruel and stitched, and i'm on my eyes, leaning back as his body bent at the waist and his face was right in mine. My breath catches slightly in my throat. I mouth becomes dry and I feel like i'm looking into eyes of the man who could very well be the death of me.
"You want this?" He breathes into my face and my eyes flutter. His breath is hot against my skin and I hate how he always has to get so close to me, so close that I can feel the fire burning at my skin, can feel the posion radiating from his eyes. His hands hold up the Keyblade and I make a jump at it, missing completely as he pulls it out of my reach. I lose my balance and fall foward, being caught by a pair of swift-catching arms. My blood begins to boil as I look up, his eyes squinted and glinting, amused, and I retract quickly.
"Don't touch me." I spit and he doesn't look fazed in the least. He just barks out a laugh and waves Roxas' weapon in my face.
"Heh, if you want this pretty little weapon back I suggest you let me do whatever I like. Got it?" He chides, running his spindly fingers through my hair. He pulls at the locks gently and I bite my lip (okay, maybe for a second, I like it) but soon i'm remembering what an ass Axel is and in his moment of distraction I lunge forward, snatching the weapon right from under his nose.
I get to my feet, leaping back and watching the completely shocked and frazzled look on Axel. I wear my own smirk, watching him grit his teeth hand get to his knees.
"Fiesty, hmm?" He growls, more to himself than me and with a spark his fingers clutch two weapons, one in each hand, spinning rapidly. Sparks and embers flickering from the rapidly spinning wheels.
My mouth hangs open, feet stepping back slowly as I watch his eyes glow white for a second, just as his weapons spurt more sparks and more flames and I feel my skin begin to prespire as warmth fills the room. The white walls glow red.
"What, scared Xion? Well c'mere, i'll make it all stop." He says, nearly in a sing-song voice as fire explodes from his weapons, circling us in a ring of red, hot, heat. Fire, striking and burning. No wonder Axel's element is fire. Its burning and scarring just like him.
He waves his arm, a boomerang-shaped lash of fire heading my direction and I grit my teeth, jumping out of harm's way at the last second. My nerves become frazzled and I watch him standing there, spinning his weapons from time-to-time and I wipe the beads of sweat from my forehead. My eyes squint from the bright heat of it all and I lick my dry lips. I look down at my weapon and clutch it tightly, wondering if I should use it against Axel, his own friend's weapon against him, a weapon I knew nothing about.
Before I have a real chance to think, he's crying out, swinging both arms out in front of him and sending flames towards me. My eyes grow large and I take one, two steps back but it's still flying towards me, burning, scathing flames and I do all I can to defend myself. I hold the Keyblade up in front of my face, wincing as I turn to look away, awaiting the scorching heat. The blade dissapears in a midst of gold dust and my hands are empty and the fire is still flying towards me and I move to jump but then it's gone and all I see is Axel standing there. His chakrams are gone, his figure black and foreboding as he watches me. The heat of the flames cause his form to sway and ripple like an ocean and I fall to my knees, head down.
I hear echoing footsteps and can still feel the fire rippling and burning, a ring of fire around the two of us and I wonder if i'll leave this place with a bubbling and scabbing scar across my body. "What are you going to do now?" I say softly, defeated. I just hear the echoing footsteps. "Rat me out right? Tell Roxas and the Superior and embarass me. Probably get me kicked out. You hate me after all."
I gasp when a hand is clutching my face, cupping my chin and i'm forced to stare into his eyes again. I'm tired of looking at him watch me with such an intense, hateful gaze but as I watch him, there is no smirk evident across his face, no cocky expression. He simply stares at me, shocked, and his lips open. He doesn't say anything for a minute, as if wondering the right thing to say, the perfect way to word his thoughts. So, Axel thinks before he speaks?
"You really don't know me at all do you?" He hisses, face so close to mine, eyes so intense I grow uncomfortable and have to look away. I watch the flickering flames surrounding us and when I feel his lips close in on my ear, the hot breath even hotter than the fire, I shudder and he whispers, "Xion," My name is so foreign on his tongue but sounds so fluid. "we can't feel hate, but if we could, it'd be the farthest from what I really feel for you."
And my eyes look away from the ring of fire and when I look into his eyes, I see fire.
--
I wonder what it'd be like to run away from this place for good. I don't like to be stuck inside this prison of white. An insane asylum, all it's missing is the padded walls. I don't like to be directed, I don't like to be a servant, and I don't like the feeling of captivity. I want to find out who I am, I want to explore.
Axel can give that to me.
"So this is..." I look at the blue ice popsicle suspiciously, my brows knotted in confusion and worry. He better not be feeding me some sort of poisonous icecream. Though I have been talking with Axel for a while, we were at least civil to each other after that fight. Though that look, what he said, it was hard to shake. I tried to ignore it, especially when he asked me today to visit Twilight Town with him. A place he and Roxas would go to talk and escape from the Organizataion, but now he's decided to share that with me.
"Sea-salt ice cream. Just try it, it's good." Axel said, swiping it with his tongue.
I poke out my tongue cutiously and swipe it with my tongue. Suprisingly, it's good. Salty then fading into sweet. I grin and take another lick, then another.
"You like?" He asks, grinning anxiously. It's cute how anxious he is, like a dog waiting approval from his master. The similie makes me giggle to myself. I nod and continue to eat.
We sit perched atop the tower of Twilight Town, the sun fading and bringing a new evening. It's a nice change from being stuck in the World That Never Was. You never know if it's light, if it's dark.
"So ... " I murmur softly after a few mintues of awkward silence of enjoying our ice creams. I look at him, chewing my lip slowly. "What happens..." I pause, wondering how to word this and in the back of my mind, I almost wonder if i'll regret telling him the idea that has been naggingt my mind for a while, that refuses to quit. "What happens if someone runs away from the Organization?" I look at him, watching him stop in mid-lick and turn to me, staring with a confused expression. If my mind isn't playing tricks on me, then I think I actually see a hint of hurt in his eyes.
He laughs, figures, and rolls his pretty acid eyes. "Ooh rebel huh?" He questions, finishing his ice cream and flicking the popsicle stick over the ledge of the tower. I imagine myself falling and such morbid thoughts are only a result of prison-like castle. "Well just know this," He wraps his arm around my shoulders, tugging my body towards him and apparently, he has no idea of personal space. "No matter how many times you run, i'll be there to bring you back."
--
I'm running again. Faster than i've ever ran before. My lungs burn, my vision swimming, my thighs throbbing and it's hurting so bad but I need to get away, I need to run, run, run, until i'm safe. I don't exactly know how fari'll have too run to be safe, but here, in the dark, city streets of the World That Never Was is not far enough.
Finally, i'm free and I stop, bending over and holding my knees. My chest heaves up and down and I reach towards the zipper of my coat. I want to shed myself of this mark, this uniform that keeps me under lock and key to the Orgnanization. I pull it down, just wanting to rip the leather coat right off. I just want to fucking get away from the Organization, to everything.
"Xion!"
I freeze, a rush of deja vu coming to me and I wonder how many times Axel has snuck up on me like this, has pulled my mind completely from where it was to him.
"You again." I hiss, whirling around and staring furiously at him, eyes brimmming with tears. "Why do you keep fucking following me? How do you keep fucking finding me? Why--" My voice cracks and I look down, quickly wiping at my eyes before the tears could free fall.
He's next to me, form almost fitting against mine, so close to me again. "Stop! Just ge--" He grips my wrist tightly in his hand, squeezing my lean arm tightly and as I look up with glistening eyes, I can see the frustration in his eyes.
"Didn't I tell you? If you run, i'll find you." He whispers into my ear, letting go of my arm and instead, placing his hands against my cheeks, making me stare at him. I try to turn my head but he keeps my eyes solidly on his. His eyes are furious, raging, intense and I close my eyes just to stop from flinching under his gaze.
"Why? Why do you want to find me? You have Roxas." I whisper, eyes still closed.
"Roxas ... " He grunts, squeezing my face tighter, shaking me slightly. I look up frightfully into his eyes that are swirling and clouded with pure anger and rage. "I don't want Roxas ... not like I want you." He admits and I can do nothing but watch as he crumbles, his facade of a arrogant prick slowly falling.
"Want me?" I scoff. "Just fucking stop, stop fucking confusing me. Stop, just let me leave. I don't want to stay in the Organization, I don't want--"
And I feel his lips, hot and fiery in contrast to the chillly and biting night air. His lips caress mine quickly, tongue sliding across my gasping, opened lips. His teeth nip lightly at my bottom lip, his own lips completely capturing my own. I don't have a chance to kiss back, though I begin to, but then its over in a rush of passion and heat and with a smack our lips part.
"Do you want to leave now?" He breaths, still holding my face close to his. I cannot say anything, not while he is staring at me like he is, but I can feel my head slowly shake and then my lips slowly breath,
"No."
And then its his lips again, mine kissing back and as I kiss him, all I feel is that fire.
"No matter how many times you run, i'll be there to bring you back."
--
A/N: OH MY GOD FINALLY DONE. i've been working on this from ike 7 to 12 midnight. I hope I at least get some reviews since I worked really hard on this. Anyways I hope you like, so pleasae review :D