The console whirred and hummed as the T.A.R.D.I.S ground to a halt, it's engines ablaze and smoke puffing up through the vents in great plumes. It had crash landed on it's side, and now lay in front of a young girl, with flowing blonde hair. She stood there in her nightgown, brandishing a battery-powered torch, looking up at the police box with wide eyes. Her mouth fell open, as the doors flung wide open, with a loud crash, and a roped hook came hurtling forth, and clasped onto a garden chain. She looked up in shock, as a hand emerged from the wreckage, and clutched at the side of the blue box. It was followed shortly by another, and then a woman's head. She was grinning like a loon,

"And a hearty hello to you!" exclaimed the large woman, causing the young girl to look at her with a puzzled expression, "If you wouldn't mind, I would really like an apple right now. It all I can think about, to be honest little chum. Maybe I'm having cravings... Maybe I'm pregnant! No thats unlikely... I was a man just a moment ago, you see?" She proceeded to launch her leg out, and over the side of the box, to illustrate that she was wearing men's pinstripe trousers. She sat there for a moment, poised on the edge of the box, and looked back down into the chaos from which she had raised, "Well. Look at that."

"Are you alright?" Asked the young blonde, in a strained, fairly high-pitched voice,

"Yeah, no worries. I just tripped over something in the library. Happens all the time. Bit of a trek back up though."

"You're soaking wet!" The girl exclaimed,

"I was taking a dip in the pool." the tall woman explained, as if this were also normal.

"You said you were in the library!"

"Yes, there was a swimming pool." Obviously. The young girl rolled her eyes,

"Are you a policeman?"

"Excuse me? Do I look like a man? Does this scream 'man' to you?" The woman asked, gesturing to all of herself.

"Did you come about the crack in my wall?" The young girl continued firing questions, ignoring the woman's obvious offence. At that moment, the woman tumbled forward, and landed clumsily on the grass. At first the girl thought she was in pain, but no, she had just lost her balance.

"Are you sure you're alright Mister?"

"MISTER? And yes. Yes I'm okay. This is all perfectly normal." The tall woman insisted, clutching at her sides and back, and wheezing a little. Suddenly she coughed, and a trace of golden energy escaped her mouth, then faded away into shimmering darkness.

"Who are you?" The girl asked,

"I'm not quite sure yet. I've not quite come to the boil as it were. Does it scare you?"

"No... it just looks a bit... inelegant."

"EXCUSE ME? And no, I meant the crack in your wall, not me."

"Yes." She answered, again ignoring the obvious offence taken by the other woman. With that, she clambered to her feet, a broad grin on her face,

"Well then! No time to loose. I'm the Doctor. Do everything I tell you. Don't ask about my age, and don't gallop off." And with that, she strode off in the wrong direction, and crashed into a tree, head first, causing her to topple over backwards yet again.

"You alright?" The girl asked for a third time,

"Early days little chum. My steering is a bit below par." She explained, as the girl sighed, and guided her through the garden toward her house.