Credit to Carrie Underwood for writing the song "Just a Dream" included in this.
This moment and this day didn't feel real. It wasn't supposed to be like this. The red and yellow rose petals that were supposed to decorate the runner in the aisle lay unused in their bags. There was no decorated archway to stand under, only a shiny brown coffin and the picture of the man who was supposed to be standing with him could be long stretch limo that was supposed to carry them off to their happily ever after was instead replaced with a long black hearse. The white wedding suit that Kurt had picked out lay untouched, while the black suit lingered on his body like the grief that he felt.
He sat lifelessly on their- his and Blaine's- bed and stared out the window at the New York landscape. This was supposed to be their forever, but that all changed when a letter came in the mail informing them that Blaine had been deployed to Afghanistan. The first initial feeling that Kurt felt had been fear and it made permanent residence in his mind. The day that Blaine's plane left was a hard one, knowing that this might be the last time that they would ever see each other. Kurt stood across from Blaine, his hand wrapped around their four year old daughter, Lila's little hand. Blaine stared at both of the with his bag on his shoulder.
"I promise you, I'll be back." He said, his eyes misty with tears. Kurt nodded. "Hey Princess, give Daddy a hug before he goes." Blaine prompted as he crouched down to his daughter's level. The little girl let go of her Papa's hand and ran into her Daddy's strong arms. She clung to his neck and Blaine held her tightly and ran his hands up and down her back. "You promise to be a good girl while I'm gone, right?" Blaine asked. Lila nodded. "And you take care of your papa." Blaine told her.
"I will. I love you daddy." Lila squeaked out in her tiny little voice as she dove back into her father's arms. Blaine hugged her again and then set her back down before turning to Kurt. He took Kurt's hands in his own and looked right in his husband's eyes.
"We already said that we're not saying goodbye to each other, so I'll just say- I love you and I'll see you soon." Blaine said.
"I love you too."Kurt whimpered. "Please be safe."
"I will, I promise." Blaine replied. He leaned in and kissed Kurt on the lips and then pulled him into a tight hug. Then, after taking a deep breath, he turned around and grabbed his bag. "Bye, I love you both." he said before waving and then walking to his gate. Blaine disappeared onto the large army plane and didn't come back out. Even after Blaine's plane had been long gone, Kurt and Lila sat at the large translucent windows and watched the planes take off. It was only after Lila was asleep in Kurt's arms that he got up from his seat and the two of them went home. The ride home was silent, unlike the typical Anderson-Hummel car ride. The radio remained silent and there were no cute four year old questions coming from Lila to make Kurt and Blaine laugh their butts off. After pulling into the parking spot in the garage, Kurt carried his sleeping daughter into their apartment and laid her in her bed before going into his room and collapsing on his bed in a fit of sobs. He really couldn't believe that Blaine was really gone.
Overtime, things didn't get better, but they got easier. Kurt and Lila coped with the absence of Blaine in their house. It was hard when Lila cried and just kept asking for Blaine repeatedly, but Kurt would just hold her close and say that he was coming really soon.
Then, during a skype session on day, Kurt and Lila got the news of a lifetime. "Hey, I have a surprise for you." Blaine said with his typical white-toothed smile.
"What?" Kurt asked.
"I'm coming home." Blaine exclaimed.
"Oh my God! When?" Kurt said loudly, trying really hard not to cry.
"Two weeks." Blaine replied. "Did you hear that Lila? Daddy's coming home!" Lila smiled and clapped her hands. It was really happening Blaine was coming home.
Then, just two days before Blaine was supposed to be home, there was a knock at their apartment door. Outside stood two army soldiers in uniforms.
"No…" Kurt whimpered.
"Mr. Anderson-Hummel, we're sorry to inform you that there was an accident and your husband Sergeant Blaine Anderson was killed on impact when he was shot in the head." the soldier told him as he handed him a letter.
"Please...no." Kurt cried.
"We're very sorry for your loss." the soldier replied. Kurt couldn't take this. His knees buckled and he fell to the floor sobbing. He was glad that Lila was at preschool and didn't see him like this. How was he going to tell her that he daddy was dead?
Now, today was the funeral. Lila peeked her head into his room. "Papa?" She said quietly. Kurt looked over at her. She looked so much like Blaine.
"Yes sweetpea?" He replied.
"Grandpa said we have to leave." She told him. Kurt nodded and got up from his bed and grabbed his little girl's hand. They drove to the cemetery where everyone attending the funeral was waiting. Kurt felt like he couldn't breathe as he walked down the center aisle.
Baby why'd you leave me
Why'd you have to go?
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know
I can't even breathe
It's like I'm looking from a distance
Standing in the background
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now
This can't be happening to me
This is just a dream
Burt and Carole took Lila to a seat and Kurt walked towards the soldiers next to Blaine's casket. He could barely see through the tears clouding his vision.
The preacher man said let us bow our heads and pray
Lord please lift his soul, and heal this hurt
Then the congregation all stood up and sang the saddest song that he ever heard
Then they handed him a folded up flag
And he held on to all he had left of him
Oh, and what could have been
And then the guns rang one last shot
And it felt like a bullet in his heart
He felt the soft material of the American flag grace his hands. Blaine was really gone. Kurt fell on top of the closed casket and just continued to sob. He just kept hoping that this couldn't be happening. It couldn't be real. This was just a dream.
Oh,
Baby why'd you leave me
Why'd you have to go?
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know
Oh, now I'll never know
It's like I'm looking from a distance
Standing in the background
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now
This can't be happening to me
This is just a dream
Oh, this is just a dream
Just a dream
Yeah, Yeah
"Kurt, wake up! It's just a dream baby, you're okay." Kurt opened his eyes and saw Blaine lying next to them in there bed.
"Oh Blaine, you're okay." Kurt cried as he lunged into his husbands arms.
"Shh, shh, I'm fine, you're fine, Lila's fine. We're all fine. It was just a dream." Blaine soothed.
"Oh god, Blaine y-you went off to war and I got a letter that said you had died. It was so awful." Kurt cried.
"I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. It was just a dream. I'm never saying goodbye to you." Blaine replied as he held his husband tightly in his arms and never planned on letting go.