Old, new, borrowed, blue

Disclaimer:- Don't own them just borrowing!

Episode:- None

Pairing:- Jean/James

Rating:- M

Achieve:- http(:/) . /group/rebeccafrontlewisffarchive/

Summary:- So that was how it started, that was the beginning of three months of madness that lead up to today. Today I am going to become Mrs Jean Hathaway and I can't wait.

Author's Note:- In answer to Gee's "Build up" challenge to write a fic charting the build-up to a big event! Pure unadulterated fluffy soppiness. Enjoy and reviews would as always be lovely!

Prologue

The day seemed ordinary enough when I woke up. Even when I opened the mail and saw the court heading and knew what it was I didn't feel anything. I know I should have felt something the end of a 25 year marriage should result in more than a deep sigh and some light filing but I'd done all my grieving for the loss of that part of my life and moved on. I was happy I thought I had everything and I genuinely didn't believe my life could get any better. I was wrong I just didn't know it when I closed the drawer of the small filing cabinet in my home office on the anonymous sheets of paper signed by a judge who didn't know me nor my ex.

That even when I told him, when he held me and told me it was ok to be upset and he'd understand if I was only proved that he was perfect for me and why I loved him so much. He was the reason I was happier at that moment in my life than I ever was had been before and I was so grateful for that. See now why I thought I had it all? I just didn't know what he had planned for later that evening, I didn't know when he told me it was ok to be upset he was actually trying to establish if I was already passed upset and ready to move on. Looking back at that night it makes me smile yet sends an involuntary shiver down my spine too at the thought of how different it could have been had I answered his question differently when he asked about my feelings. Had I not passed the test I didn't know he was giving me I might not be standing here not ready to pledge my life to him in front of our closest friends and our families. Had I appeared upset, unready to move on, he may have turned back and not done what he did next and it could have been forever before he felt like the moment was right again.

As it was I passed, I told him the truth, told him I was ok, I was happy, that it was the past and he was my future, and that was the moment everything changed. When he got up and left me alone in the sitting room I wondered if I'd seemed too harsh, too heartless in the face of the ending of such a big chapter in my life and scared him away. Boy was I wrong about that. As I sat there trying to think of a way to take it back, to explain that I wasn't dismissing that part of my life I had just come to terms with the end of it, he came back and I knew he was up to something. I always know when he's up to something he must be a terrible poker player he's so transparent.

"I didn't know if now would be the right moment for this and you've got to tell me if it's not ok?" At the time I'd agreed to his conditions as much because I was curious another correct decision made purely on instinct, an instinct that turned out to be right. Oh god how right it was,

"Ok of course I'll tell you what are you trying to say James and what has it got to do with my divorce being finalized?" In retrospect that should have been my first clue. I should have realised what he was planning yet I really didn't think he could ever consider wanting to marry me so it never crossed my mind.

"I love you, you've made my life complete with everything you've become to me since this started I need you to know that before I say anything else." You know that feeling when you really do believe your blood has run cold? Well I had one of those moments then, suddenly I had convinced myself that he was going to end things. I was sure he was going to say that he wanted to make sure I was ok before he broke my heart all over again. It must have been obvious from the look on my face because he kissed me, the sort of searing all-encompassing kiss that dispelled any doubts I might have had.

"I thought you were going to…."

2I know what you thought and it couldn't be further from the truth I said I love you how could I give that up? Why would I want to especially now?" That was the moment he slipped off the sofa and onto one knee in front of me and I can tell you I have never been more shocked in my life. "Jean I love you so much that the thought of spending a single moment o the rest of my life without you is my worst nightmare. I realise you've been there and done the whole marriage thing and I know how much he hurt you but I would die before I would cause you a single day's pain. You are my reason for getting up in the morning, you are the last person I want to see before I close my eyes at night, you are my best friend and the only thing that can feed my deepest desires. You are the only person who makes me feel complete. Would you do me the honour of agreeing to be my wife?" That was when he opened the small jewellery box he'd pulled from his pocket and revealed the most stunning solitaire diamond on a platinum band it was breath-taking in it's simple elegance but what really meant that there was only one answer I could give were his words and the way he looked at me with eyes pleading that I not keep him waiting for an answer. "If it's too soon I'll understand or if you don't want to get married again I'll understand that too but I…"

"Yes, yes I'll marry you. I love you too and I can't think of anything I would rather do than show the world that by marrying you."

So that was how it started, that was the beginning of three months of madness that lead up to today. Today I am going to become Mrs Jean Hathaway and I can't wait.