Title: Steel Bars (Wrapped Around This Heart Of Mine)
Pairing: Logan/Camille
Rating: T
Word Count: 3,186 (This Part)
Warnings: Spoilers for Big Time Secret
Summary: "You love her. So be with her." Huh... who knew Carlos would be the most helpful in this situation. Be with her. Simple as that.
Disclaimer: I do not own BTR.
Author Notes: Title is a song by Michael Bolton. This is Part 1 of 2.
First James. Now Kendall.
Logan wanted to punch both of them.
The three of them plus Carlos had been friends for so long, it was hard to remember a time when they weren't the center of Logan's world. Every major change, decision or problem Logan had come across in his life, he was able to deal with it through the help of his three best friends. His brothers. In ninth grade, when Logan got his first B on an English paper and he went into a state of depression, Carlos was there. His smile and his inexplicable ability to make Logan laugh helped him realize it wasn't the end of the world, one B on one paper, was not going to bring his entire GPA down. In tenth grade, when he called the wrestling team stupid in Latin, James was there. The wrestlers had chased him all the way from the locker room to the parking lot until they came face to face with James... and his fist. Six months after they moved to Los Angeles, Logan came down with bad case of Hollywood Fever and homesickness, Kendall was there. Their fearless leader was always quick to remind him who he was and where he came from. They were a family, a bond so tight it could never be broken.
Or so he thought.
Lucy's voice breaks through his thoughts, demanding that Kendall tell them then truth. He is brought back to the scene in front of him, Kendall and Camille staring at him wide eyed, James and Carlos standing to his right desperately trying to pull their hands apart. He looks expectantly at Kendall, the ax guitar he "borrowed" from Lucy raised, ready to strike.
Kendall hesitates. Camille raises her hand to rub his back encouragingly. Logan sees red.
"Logan," Kendall starts, "Guys... Camille and I are... in love."
"He broke the code!" He's not sure who yells the loudest but they all point accusingly at Kendall.
Does the ex-girlfriend code mean nothing to his friends? Or the current girlfriend code in some cases. CoughJamesCough. First James kisses Camille. Now Kendall is in love with her. If Carlos marries her, he is going to lose his shit.
"Kendall!" Camille's immediately throws her arms out in front of her, no doubt trying to hold off an attack.
And just like that it's over. Kendall rips of his jacket and no one quite knows what to say. As Logan throws the guitar over his shoulder, he can see Camille roll her eyes out of his peripherals but he can't bring himself to actually look at her. He is scared of what he would find. Anger. Disappointment. Love. Sadness. He wasn't sure which he preferred.
Kendall launches into a big speech about figure skating and having something to prove. They all give him as many words of encouragement that they can, considering he was dressed in purple, sparkly spandex. It becomes a moot point because they are terrible. James and Carlos make a game out of counting how many times they fall. As a hockey player, Kendall is at home one the ice. He is aggressive, dauntless, in charge. And he makes sure everyone knows it. As a figure skater, he looks timid and uncomfortable. Camille wasn't the most graceful person on foot but on ice it was even worse. She stumbled her way through the choreography as her and Kendall tripped over each other and crashed on the hard ice. Still. Logan couldn't keep his eyes off of her.
She was beautiful. Her short skirt and skates made her thin legs look longer than they really were. He wanted them wrapped around his waist as she kisses the pulse point on his neck. Her long brown hair flowed behind her has she floated across the ice. He wanted to run his fingers through the curls as she moans his name. Her method acting came in hand. Her radiant smile never left her face even when her fierce eyes were shooting daggers at Kendall. He wanted her to look at him with those big brown eyes, full of fire and passion as he assaulted her lips with his own. There is clearly something wrong with him.
He is relieved now that he knew the truth, but he still somewhat conflicted and has no idea why. Kendall wasn't in love with Camille and more importantly, Camille wasn't in love with Kendall. Even if she was, there was nothing he could do about it. They weren't together. It wasn't his place to tell her who she was or wasn't allowed to have feelings for. They broke up for a reason. A reason that happened to be sitting on his left. Sure, he forgave James and they all moved passed it but that doesn't stop Logan from wishing he would have pounded James' pretty face into the ground once in awhile.
Kendall and Camille were bandaged head to toe after their disastrous performance. Relaxing in Lucy's apartment was just what the doctor ordered. Camille's arm was in a sling, an ice pack pressed to her swollen jaw. She was going to have a nasty bruise.
"Wow, you were awful," James says.
"He was," Logan agrees putting an emphasis on the word he. He was awful, Kendall was awful. Camille was... well pretty bad but she was also perfect.
Kendall starts yet another speech about how they tried their best and blah blah blah. Logan stops listening. Kendall talks a lot. He must have mentioned something about Camille because James pats her leg affectionately. Logan has the sudden urge to push him so he falls backwards in his chair. Instead he sits up straight and suggests a "simple, non violent game of truth or dare."
As they chase Carlos through the lobby and out the doors of the Palm Woods, he thinks it probably wasn't a good idea.
They give up after they chased Carlos around the building five times. That boy had more energy than all of them combined. Guess that's why he won the Palm Woods 500 World Cup. They all collapsed by the pool, starting a fire when it got dark. Logan once again found himself unable to take his eyes away from Camille. She was a few yards away, laughing at something Lucy said. He loved her laugh. She had one of those loud, infectious laughs, where she threw her head back and clapped her hands to show her amusement.
He could sit there for hours, just watching her. He was officially a creeper and proud of it! She was captivating. The fire danced off her pale skin, illuminating her like a spot light. The bruise on her face was already visible, adding a dark contrast along her jaw line. It didn't seem to bother her that much anymore, as she waved her arms wildly, adding dramatics to whatever story she was telling.
Being friends with her was... hard. From the first day he met her, their entire relationship has been a roller coaster. They were so on again, off again, it was hard to keep track of where they stood. Last week he couldn't keep his hands (or lips), off of her (well, Mila - man, that spy was hot) and this week he had barely spoken to her. It was exhausting. He wasn't sure how he was supposed to feel. On one hand, he enjoyed the fact that all four them were single again. There was nothing like spending time with the boys. On the other hand, he generally missed Camille when she wasn't around. She had become this ever-growing presence in his life.
Inner turmoil was something he was used to yet still not good at handling.
He is still watching Camille when he feels Kendall drop down next him. Perfect. Just Perfect. He is not in the mood for a lecture or a pep talk. Couldn't Kendall see that he was busy creepily staring at his ex-girlfriend?
"What's up buddy?"
"Nothing," Logan answered with a shrug.
"You want to talk about what happened?"
"Sure. Your leg feeling any better?" Okay, he could totally do this. He was a genius after all. Distract Kendall from what he really wanted to talk about and the actual topic of discussion never needed to be discussed.
"Not what I was talking about." As Kendall stared at him with his intimidating green eyes, Logan realized he totally could not do this. With James or Carlos, no problem. With Kendall? Kendall was determined and difficult. Sometimes Logan hates Kendall.
"I'm fine, Kendall." He definitely was not fine. He blamed Camille, but he wasn't about to tell Kendall that.
Kendall raised his eyebrows. "Really? So fine in your book constitutes chasing me around with an ax guitar?"
"Yup."
"You need to deal with this, Logan."
"I have no idea what you're talking about, Kendall."
"You still have feelings for her."
Kendall, always the fearless leader. Always saying exactly what was on his mind, never holding back. Logan has no idea who appointed Kendall leader of his or her band of misfits, to be honest it was probably self-appointed but nobody was complaining. It had been like that since they day they all met. Logan certainly didn't want the job. He idolized Kendall, sure. Maybe not as much as Carlos but he respected Kendall. He is always the first person he goes to when he needs help. But, that doesn't mean Kendall knows everything. (Even though he does, at least when it comes to Logan, James or Carlos.)
Playing dumb is clearly his best option.
"For who?"
Kendall sighs. He doesn't say anything for a minute, then, "I'll be here when you're ready to talk." Logan shifts uncomfortably under Kendall's gaze. He takes to staring at the fire. They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul. Kendall can't read his soul if he can't see his eyes.
"There's nothing to talk about."
Kendall stands and places a hand on his shoulder. He leaves it like that until Logan looks up. Up into those stupid green eyes. Logan can see the love and concern swirling around those eyes. Kendall really is the best friend ever. He doesn't say anything, but Logan gets the message.
Not two minutes after Kendall walks away, someone else sits next to him. He doesn't have to look up to know who it is. He can smell her shampoo, feel the way his chest tightens and his heart quickens. He debates whether or not he should make a run for it.
"Are you mad at me?"
He doesn't look at her. He stares at the fire as if it is the most fascinating thing he has ever seen. "Why would I be mad at you?"
"I have no idea but you haven't even looked at me all day." Saw right through that did she? Logan slowly turned his head in her direction but didn't make direct eye contact. "You know there is nothing going on between me and Kendall right?"
Logan can't help but flinch. "I know."
"Logan." At the mention of his name he finally looked her in the eye. Her big, beautiful, mocha colored eyes. She was a wonderful actress but her eyes gave her away. She didn't wear her heart on her sleeve, she wore it in her eyes. He could see she was begging, pleading with her eyes for him to believe her. She was about to apologize. For what, he wasn't sure. She didn't do anything wrong but he couldn't let her apologize because he was having some sort of mental breakdown.
He leaned over and pressed a kiss to her temple, cutting off anything she was about to say. She leaned slightly into him. "I'm not mad at you, Camille." Then he stood up and walked away, heading towards the apartment. He needed to get away from her before he did something he was going to regret.
He didn't get far when Kendall caught his arm. He clearly caught the exchange between him and Camille. "Dude..."
Logan just shrugged him off. "Not now Kendall."
Two days later, Logan was relaxing in the crib playing video games with James and Carlos. He hadn't seen Camille since the night at the pool and Kendall seemed to drop his quest to get Logan to talk about his feelings. Blowing up virtual shit seemed to be the perfect distraction.
That is until Camille stormed into the apartment. She didn't knock or bother to close the door behind her. Glancing at her out of the corner of his eye, he could tell that she was not happy. She looked like she was going to take one of his virtual guns and shoot all of them.
"I need to talk to Logan. You two," she pointed at James and Carlos, "Get out."
"We're a little busy," James said, "I'm killing these two."
"You wish!" Carlos scoffed, followed by an "In your face," as he blew James' virtual head off.
Apparently Camille wasn't kidding around as she walked to the TV and turned it off. "Get out."
He was in deep shit. Camille was definitely mad at him. Her eyes were narrowed and glaring. If she was a superhero, her power would definitely be shooting fire out of her eyes. She was wearing a maroon sweater over a white tank top and a pair of tight, skinny jeans. Her hands rested on her hips, which he was thankful for. As long as they were preoccupied, they couldn't slap him.
"Dude, what did you do?"
He couldn't find the words to answer Carlos' question, so instead he continued to stare at Camille, mouth hanging slightly open in confusion.
"Get out before I throw you out."
James and Carlos immediately stood up.
"See you, bro."
"Good luck, buddy."
And then there were two.
"What the hell is wrong with you?"
Logan blinked. A few times. "I'm not sure what you're talking about."
Apparently that was the wrong thing to say. "Oh really? In the fast few days you have either avoided me or given me the cold shoulder and I'm not sure what I did to deserve it. I told you nothing is going on with Kendall. We were just skating-"
He cut her off, "I know. I know nothing is going on. Kendal would never do that to me." Even though he did chase him around with an ax guitar.
"What about me? Do you know I would never do that to you?"
"Well, you happened to kiss another best friend of mine while we were still together, so..."
If possible, Camille's eyes darkened even more. If she was a superhero, there is no doubt he would be six feet under.
"Is that what this is about? Jesus Logan that was months ago, how long are you going to throw that it my face? I have apologized multiple times. The kiss meant nothing, we were acting and got caught up in the scene." She was rambling and he couldn't seem to get a word in to stop her. "I thought we were working on moving passed this. You said you were okay with us being friends. This is not how friends treat each other. You're being an ass."
"Well, maybe I don't want to be friends with you," he all but shouted at her.
Camille took a step back as if she had been slapped. He immediately regretted saying that but it was too late to take it back. "You make me crazy, Camille. You make me do things I never thought I would do. I almost brought physical harm to two of my best friends because of you. I haven't spoken more than two words to that Steve guy and yet I hate that guy because he took you to that stupid movie and stupid prom. Every time I think about that night at the movie theater, I want to lock myself in my room and listen to that depressing, emu shit Kendall insists is music. Seeing you with other people literally makes me crazy. I don't get jealous. Ever. I'm a rational person. My feelings for you are anything but rational. The things I have done in the last few months are anything but rational. I can't continue to do these crazy things. So maybe..." The words caught in his throat. He took a deep breath before he continued. "Maybe we just need to take a break from seeing each other for awhile."
Unshed tears threatened to fall, her mouth hung slightly open. He wanted to take it all back, do whatever he could to make that look on her face disappear. He wanted to make her smile. He wanted to make the twinkle in Camille's eyes reappear. What he absolutely could not do is stand there and watch her cry. "I'm sorry, Camille. I just... I got to go."
He turned and made a beeline for the door, which was still standing wide open. She was faster and slammed the door shut, pressing her back against it positioning herself between him and freedom. Tears were now openly streaming down her face. He had to restrain himself from reaching out to brush them away.
"You don't get to say all of that then just walk out." Her voice came out a whisper but her words were harsh. "It is not fair for you to just decide that we are no longer friends then not give me a chance to say anything. I know it was my fault we broke up and I am so, so sorry for that but you're the one who broke up with me. I have done everything I can to make it up to you. You think it is easy for me to see you with other people? I wanted to slap those stupid glasses right off Peggy's face."
"I don't want to talk about this anymore."
He reached for the doorknob but she pushed his hand away. "Too bad." Now she was yelling. Awesome. "You said what you need to say, now it's my turn. I want to be friends with you Logan. I want you in my life but if you don't want to be with me you have no right to dictate who I date or don't date."
"I'm not trying to dictate anything." Logan took a deep breath trying to calm his frustration. "I just can't sit here and watch you throw your new guys in my face." What the shit? Frustration is clearly winning out because now he doesn't even know what he's saying.
"Fuck you, Logan. I haven't done that and you know it. You know what, maybe you're right." She pushed off the door and took a step forward. Logan took a step back, bracing himself for the slap that was sure to come. She should slap him. He deserved it. "Maybe we shouldn't be friends. Maybe we should just stay out of each other's way because this is ridiculous."
And then he kissed her. Hard.