(A/n- First fic..Don't judge, bro.)
Delicate Dejection
"Heather I…I'm sorry." Alejandro extended a hand down towards her, but she pushed herself away. "Don't touch me…" she screamed. Her hand touched her beat red cheek lightly, pulling it away every time it stung. "It's bad enough you cheated on me with that little whore, Lindsay…" she whispered, trying not to look at him. His hands reached forward and touched her face ever so lightly. "Look at me." He said hopefully. She leaned her head down and pushed him away.
"How dare you hit me…? How could you do this to me? Did you ever even love me at all!..." her eyes finally met his. And for the first time. The girl who never broke down in front of anyone. Did.
Her eyes overwhelmed with tears and it completely broke his heart. She was shaking violently as she sat on the cold tile floor, and he just wanted to scoop her up and tell her everything was going to be okay. But he knew he couldn't do that. Not now, when he knew what he did was wrong and honestly had nothing to say to defend himself.
"I was wrong…" he admitted. She looked down and grit her teeth. "I failed you, and our daughter…and I'm sorry. This is my entire fault. But don't you dare…try and tell me I don't love you and our family more than anything in this world." He finished strong, getting down on his knee's to face her. She hid her face from him; the large red hand print was still visible on her creamy pale cheek.
Looking down at his crying girl, he regretted it all. It killed him to see what he had done. Done to the girl he loved, the mother of his child. He had hurt her, and hurt himself more. It's bad enough he was the bad guy already for cheating, but this was just too much.
"Look at me!" he cried, putting a hand under her chin and tilting it up. She slapped his hand away violently. "Don't fucking touch me!" she screamed, kicking him back. He fell to the floor with a thud, and got up only to see her bracing herself for another slap to the face. That killed him.
Her shaking increased as they both heard a small voice come from the hallway. "Mommy?" it said. He turned to see a small girl, tan skinned and clutching a small teddy-bear standing in the hall. "Kylie go back to bed…" Heather said, crying. "Daddy why did you hit mommy?..." Kylie asked, walking closer. His mouth opened but nothing came out.
She walked slowly over and made slight eye contact before smacking him repetitively in the leg with her teddy-bear. "You monster! I hate you!" she screamed and flailed her arms wildly.
That destroyed him.
Broken in every sense of the word, he dropped to his knees and hugged the screaming girl, ignoring the protest screams and beatings. He deserved everything she said to him and he knew it. Seeing this, Heather miserably buried her head deeper in her palms and screamed.
"I hate you, Daddy! I hate you!" she screamed louder than her mother. Alejandro rested his head on his daughter's shoulder and squeezed her. This was what it felt like?
He was supposed to protect them, to keep them safe. Only to find that the biggest threat was himself. He had failed his family, and it was no one else's fault but his own. He screwed up big time and wasn't sure if he could ever forgive himself.
Holding this little girl; the product of so much love they made together. He truly hated himself more than Kylie would ever begin to understand.
"Let her go." Heather whimpered and Alejandro painfully obeyed her, watching her teddy-bear smack him one last time before Kylie ran off into the dark. "Heather…" he turned to her and grabbed her wrists. She jumped, but he only gently pulled them away from her face. Make-up was everywhere, but she didn't seem to care, and he didn't seem to notice. She always looked pretty to him. "You should leave…" she said. He felt his heart shatter into a million pieces as he stared into the eyes of his no longer existing future, but all he could do was nod in agreement.
"I love you…" he whispered. And he knew he meant it. Slowly he kissed her on the cheek, lingering his lips there in a hope she would hold him. But she didn't move a muscle closer. A tear slipped silently down her cheek as he pulled away and stood up. She closed her eyes and threw her face back into her hands. Her cries never seemed to hurt him as much before as they did now.
She took a ragged deep breath in and whimpered. Every tear killed him more and more. "Just go!" she screamed, pulling her knees up to her face and putting her head between them. But he couldn't turn away. He didn't want it to end like this. Even though he had cheated, for reasons unknown to even him, he never wanted anyone else. It was always her. She had always kept him coming back.
He needed her, and she needed him; or so he thought. But maybe she would be better off without him around. All he did was hurt her, and he didn't want that anymore. But he knew that he couldn't live without her. He needed her to know it too. But that would just make it all the worse. He knew he had to go. Suddenly he clenched his fists, grit his teeth and began to walk away; ignoring the aching need to stay.
Her cries amplified with every footstep he took towards the door and when his hand finally found the doorknob, he couldn't turn it. His fingertips lingered, but eventually opened the door. The rain was a bit cliché…
Another sigh took him out onto the porch, and even out onto the lawn, but a pair small warm of arms wrapping around his waist stopped him from going any farther. Automatically he stopped and looked down. "I know this is your entire fault. I know I shouldn't want you to stay. You should leave. But you just can't leave me. I love you so much. I'll never stop. " she screamed and squeezed tighter. The tears he thought he never had began to fall as he felt her hyperventilated cries on his back.
He took her arms from around his waist and turned around to face her. "I can't keep hurting you. I need to go…" he said, letting go of her. "Please don't." she whimpered. He shook his head and took her tear stained face in his hands. "Be strong…" a whisper that hurt even him. Soon the rain had soaked them both, but they stood strong. He pulled a strand of wet hair from her face and leaned his forehead on hers. "I have to go…" he choked out. "It will be better for the both of us. I promised you I'd keep you and Kylie safe. And that's exactly what I'm doing"
He quickly pushed his lips to hers, one last time. The rain never fell just as hard as it did that night. And the most painful thing to do was let go. "I'll always love you. That's why you need to be strong for me. For Kylie…" he whispered, caressing her cheek ever so tenderly. He never wanted to let go. But he needed this, and she needed it so much more.
Delicately, he took his hands off her cheeks, and let her collapse onto his chest. Her small sobs against him where muffled where she had buried herself in his shirt. "Please be strong. It's my turn to suffer." He said, running his fingers through her soaking wet hair. She nodded, and he knew it was time to go now or he would never be able to leave. "One day. When I can keep my promises…when I can be faithful... I'll come back, I promise…" and with that, she stood on her own, wiped her eyes, and watched the love of her life leave. And neither of them knew if he would ever come back.
Emily will find a better place to fall asleep. She belongs to fairytales that I could never be. The future haunts with memories that I could never have. And hope is just a stranger, wondering how it got so bad.
I die each time you look away, my heart, my life, will never be the same. This love will take my everything. One breath, one touch. Will be the end of me.
~Love Song Requiem-Trading Yesterday~
(Reviews are cool.)
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