A/N: I've always felt the episode "Containment" marked a change in the Jacob/Rachel dynamic. In the first few episodes she is openly resentful and a bit contemptuous of Hood. But in this episode she comes to terms with her assignment and acknowledges that what Hood does is important. So I thought a story about Jacob coming to terms with his reaction to Rachel was in order.
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Jacob Hood grunted in annoyance as he squatted down outside the containment facility. He needed to be alone to sort out his thoughts but there was nowhere in this chilly parking lot where he could comfortably sit and think. Nothing about this case was making any sense; not the science and not his reaction to the day's events.
He knew Cal was the expert, but his explanation of the time line didn't hold water. Fisher began showing symptoms within days of his exposure and was dead 24 hours after that. Even taking into account any ethno-specific or genetic anomalies, if the Guatemalan boy was patient zero he should have been, at the least, too ill to run from Rachel. And thoughts of Rachel brought his mind to a stuttering halt.
His reaction to seeing her, with blood splattered across her face, on her hands, knowing what it might mean, stunned him. The fear he felt at the thought she might die surprised him; he expected to feel only regret at potentially losing a valued colleague. Jacob shook his head in dismay, the last time he felt fear like that was when he learned of Maggie's diagnosis.
Then there was the pain in his heart as he faced her through the isolation drapes. He could tell she was using her anger as a shield to keep from breaking down in tears. Before, he would have found this behavior exasperating, the kind of macho posturing he disliked in the agents assigned to his protective detail. Now, he realized it showed how strong she was. Rather than giving way to her emotions or worrying about her own situation, she focused on his safety, on still doing her job.
Cal's words echoed through his head, 'the rules apply to everyone Jacob, even the people we care about the most.' He wasn't sure when it happened but Rachel was now firmly in the categoryof people he cared about. His lips twitched in a half-smile as he remembered their first months together. She resented being assigned to his detail and wasn't shy about showing it. For his part, he saw her as the latest in a long line of unsatisfactory guard dogs.
Over their time together that changed. Her curiosity and sharp intelligence didn't allow her to remain aloof from his work for long. Soon, her skill set, her connections, her contributions were as vital to their investigations as his own. And, despite her earlier words, it had been awhile since she made it clear that he was merely her responsibility. Now she treated him, maybe not as an equal, but as a colleague.
This crisis forced him to face how much he enjoyed her company. She was so good at her job it made his job easier. He hadn't realized how much he missed having a collaborator, someone to bounce ideas off of, someone to share in the work. She was smart as a whip, and now that she was openly showing interest in their cases, it was a pleasure to teach her, to explain the science to her, and in doing so helping to clarify the issues in his mind. Plus she shared his off-beat sense of humor; her quips often broke the tension that built up around their investigations.
Recently they began sharing things on a more personal level. She made casual mention of her family, her past. He told her a bit about his wife, her illness and death. But still, they weren't what he would call friends. While she had access to his personnel file, huge chunks of her life were a mystery to him. He hadn't realized how much he had come to depend on her, how much she had come to mean to him, until they faced each other over the body of the Guatemalan and he ordered the haz-mat team to take her into custody.
'The fact she's easy on the eyes doesn't hurt,' whispered the little voice in his head. Jacob frowned and pushed that thought away. No, he wasn't romantically interested in her; he liked her as a friend. But he was forced to admit she was beautiful and he had noticed. But it wasn't her looks that made him appreciate her, it was her intelligence, her compassion, and yes, her strength that he admired. He had been looking forward to getting to know the woman behind the agent persona and now it might be too late.
These were new feelings and he was having a hard time getting his head around them. When had she wormed her way around the walls he so carefully constructed after Maggie's death? It shook him to realize how much he cared about Rachel as a person. When Maggie died he was sure he would never love, never trust another woman again. Her death and its aftermath had been too painful and he never wanted to go through that again.
Sighing, Jacob looked up at the overcast Pittsburgh sky. At times like this, he wished he was a religious man, one who could take some comfort in prayer. For now all he could do was put his trust in science, in his conviction that Cal's explanation didn't make sense scientifically. He straightened up as the door to the temporary containment facility opened.
"Excuse me, Dr. Hood?" the lab tech was hesitant. "I've got the slide ready for you."
Jacob took a deep breath. No matter how this turned out, he was going to have to deal with some very difficult emotions. As he slowly followed the lab tech inside he couldn't help sending up a fleeting prayer that Rachel would be ok.