Let sleeping inventors lie
By Todd Fan
Disclaimer: "He's a computer genius, he's supposed to be a little weird"
----
My Gods, I'm doing a Forge one-shot random madness fic! I got the idea for this one while watching the terribly animated, but damn funny show, Ed, Edd and Eddy. In case you didn't know, all three 'Eds' are voiced by Evo Voice Actors for: Alex, Forge and Ray, respectively. Anyway, this was inspired by the episode 'Scrambled Ed', involving a very tired Edd (also a genius/inventor), who has a wonderfull manical laugh, which I like to believe Forge shares. Those common to the show will recognise a few quotes from the episode.
----
One last adjustment annnd....there. He'd done it. Forge smiled proudly at his latest invention, a gadget that could revolutionise mankind. Sure, it had taken him two weeks to make, resluting in him neglecting to sleep, bathe or eat anything that wasn't dug out of the bottom of his fridge. Sure, as a result, his body's metabolism was starting to revolt against him. And, sure, he smelled like something that had crawled out of a toilet and died. But he was a happy inventor. Later, he would ring the patent office that knew him by voice, and after that...probably take a shower....then maybe eat something. But right now, his brain needed sleep. It was all fine and good having an IQ that went over the three hundred mark, but if said organ didn't get any rest, it had a habit of shutting down by itself.
"Sleepy, sleepy, sleepy", said Forge.
With a THUNK his head hit the lab table, not that Forge had noticed, he'd fallen asleep halfway there. Sadly, his slumber would not go as planned.
BAMF
A cloud of brimstone popped into the air, followed by a blue, fuzzy elf, by the name of Kurt Wagner accompanied by one Kathrine Pryde.
"Hey, Forge, the Professor sent us to get you, he needs help vith....", Kurt trailed off, blinking at the face-down inventor whom hadn't budged an inch, a rare occurence when Kurt made a sudden entrance, "...Forge?"
Kurt gave Forge a prod with his foot.....nothing.
"OH MY GOD, FORGE IS DEAD!", he screamed.
Kitty sighed, shaking her head, squinting at the 'dead' Forge.
"He's not dead, Kurt, he's breathing", she said, "hey, Forge, wake up, we need you!".
"Limka, nughiis", muttered Forge in his sleep.
The two teens blinked.
"Ho....kay", said Kitty with a shrug, "come on, Kurt, lets get him to the institute, maybe he'll wake up when we get there"
Kurt nodded, grabbing onto both Forge and Kitty.
BAMF
The three reappeared in the hangar of the Xavier Institute. Now having no table to lean on, Forge's semi-consious body hit the ground with a thud. Forge forced one eye partially open, trying to figure out how he go to his new surroundings without using his legs, while still being more asleep than awake.
"Neh?".
Suddenly, a pair of arms picked him up, dragging him over to the Blackbird, which looked worse for wear.
"Forge, fix the Blackbird", growled Logan, "Bobby flew it into a cliff...again"
Forge took a few minutes to process the words. To his sleepy mind, he could have sworn Logan said: 'Blahge, blah blah blah. Blahby, blah blah blah blah blah....blah'.
"Whaaa?", he said confusedly, trying to focus on Logan, and not doing a very good job of it.
Logan blinked at Forge, sniffing him, before recoiling away.
"What did you do ta him, Elf?", he growled.
"I didn't do anything!", protested Kurt, "he vas like that vhen ve found him, right Kitty?"
Kitty nodded.
"Yeah, he wasn't moving a whole lot, either"
Logan sighed, giving Forge a 'gentle' shake.
"WAKE UP!", he snarled, "fix the jet!"
Forge gave a snort, he'd been falling back to sleep again before all that shaking had started.
"G'way", he said, the closest thing to a coherent word he'd said since going to sleep.
Logan snarled.
SNIKT
"Fix. The. Jet. NOW!", he snarled.
Forge answered with a snore. Logan blinked, before dropping him, walking to the nearest wall, begining to slash it up. Hank sighed as he watched the scene, hooking Forge's rather limp body over a crate.
"Okay, Forge", he said, "you're obviously not in the right state to do anything, so just talk me through it"
He picked up an odd piece of machinery.
"Where does this go?"
"Attach it speficly to the cambarush nigum...", said Forge, falling back to sleep.
Logan snarled, walking over and smacking him in the head.
"Parallel to the car seat!", shouted out Forge, before his head drooped again.
"Okay", said Hank, then paused, "wait...there are no car seats. It's a jet!"
"Nirget", replied Forge.
"Well, that's alot of help!", snapped Hank, "what's wrong wi...."
Suddenly, there was a metallic huuuuum as the hangar shok. The door opened by itself and a silver orb flew in. It hovered by Forge, before opening and dragging the sleeping inventor in, and away through the door.
"HEY!", shouted Kurt, "that's OUR genius!"
---
After a little while of travelling, in which Forge actually got some peace and quiet, the orb stopped in Magneto's super-secret hideout. It opened up, depositing Forge uncerimoniously on the floor.
"Pah", said Forge, why wouldn't people just leave him alone?!!!!
Piotr sighed, picking him up and carrying him over to Magneto.
"Okay, Forge", said Magneto, form where he sat on his 'throne', "you don't like me and I don't like you. But I need your expertise. If you can help me, I'll let you have Canda when I take over the world".[1]
He clicked his fingers and Remy came over, carrying a VCR.
"So", said Magneto, before taking a deep breath, "how, exactly, do I STOP THIS INFERNAL MACHINE FROM BLINKING TWELVE O' CLOCK??!!!"
The shouting made Forge open his eyes slightly.
"Use hot wax for more manageable folicles", he muttered.
Magneto blinked.
"Hot wax?", he said, "okay, Mastermind, try hot wax!"
Jason blinked.
"Why ME? Why not get Sabertooth to do it, HE'S the one with healing factor!"
"Because", said Magneto, "I ASKED YOU!"
Jason sighed, taking the VCR from Remy, stomping into the kitchen with it, muttering about how he was only IN the Acolytes because Magneto wanted a mind-reader, and was never allowed to do anything but mind-read or deminial jobs. [2]
A few moments passed before there was a hissing sound, shortly followed by a fwooooomf, accompanied with manical laughter.....and then alot of screaming. Jason soon ran out of the kitchen, his arm on fire, he quickly grabbed Remy's coat, using it to bat out the flames. He was sucessfull...but had managed instead to set Remy on fire. Remy blinked before freaking out, running around in circles, screaming like a six-year- old girl until Piotr dumped a large bucket of water on him.
"What...happened?", said Magneto, massaging his forehead.
"Well", said Jason, "I did the hot wax thing, poured it on the machine, which made the VCR start shooting sparks, Pyro came along, started a fire and the rest is history"
Magneto frowned, storming over to Forge, who had curled up in a little ball on one of Piotr's crates, sleeping soundly.
"YOU LIED!", he snapped, "no Canada for YOU, Mister!"
With that, he threw Forge into a orb, which took him over to the Brotherhood house, uncerimoniously dumping him on their front porch.
"Whatever you're selling, we're not buying!", said Pietro, opening the door, before blinking at Forge, "hey, did anyone here order a genius?"
Lance blinked, looking over Pietro's shoudler, before grinning, dragging Forge into the house and into the living room.
"You can get a Brotherhood life-time guarentee of not destroying your property if you can tell me what's wrong with the TV", he said, pressing Forge up close to the TV., which was flickering on and off.
Forge groaned, so tired. So very, very tired.
"Liberally apply toothpaste", he said.
"Okay", said Lance, then shouted up the stairs, "Wanda, fetch the toothpaste!"
A few moments later, Wanda stomped down the stairs, followed by Todd, hopping happily after her.
"Come on, my Scarlet Sweetie", he said, "I bet you'd really like it"
"For the last time, Toad", snapped Wanda, "I don't want you to rub my feet, under ANY circumstances!"
"Awwww", said Todd, deflating.
"Here's your damn toothpaste!", snapped Wanda, shoving it in Lance's hand, "what do you want toothpaste for, anyway?"
"Forge said it would fix the TV", said Lance, starting to put toothpaste on the TV.
Wanda blinked, looking around.
"Forge isn't here"
Lance paused.
"Well, he was a minute ago!", he said, "where did he go? BLOB, did you eat him?!"
"NO!", came Freddy's voice from the kitchen, "...moron"
"Then where the heck is he?", muttered Pietro.
Forge was still in the Brotherhood house. He'd dragged himself up the stairs, his body working on auto-pilot. He eventually found a bedroom, his eyes lighting up when he saw what had to be the most wonderfull thing on the planet.
"Bed!", he said in amazement, stumbling over to it.
Sadly for Forge, he'd picked Todd's room. As soon as he pulled back the covers, he was greeted with dirt, slime and insects. The sight was enough to make him recoil in horror.
"Not if it was the last bed on the face of the earth", he muttered, stumbling out in search of a bed. He found one across the hall....though he'd wish he hadn't. He'd soon started to have a restfull slumber, until the owner of the bed he was lying on found him.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON MY BED?!!", screamed Wanda, before picking him up with a hex-bolt, and tossing him out of the open window.
Forge hit the ground with a thud.
"Bed...gone", he mumbled, his face covered in dirt.
"HEY, THE TOOTHPASTE HAS GUMMED UP THE TV SCREEN!", came Lance's voice from inside.
Forge sighed, happy to sleep right there in the dirt, only to have a car screech to a stop close to his head.
"THERE you are, Forge!", said Tabby with a grin in Scott's car, which she'd 'borrowed', "we've been looking ALLLL over for you!"
She threw him into the back, heading back to the Institute.
----
It wasn't long before they got back to the mansion, the New Recruits awaiting their return.
"I found him!", said Tabby proudly, pulling Forge out and dumping him on the ground.
"Hey, Forge", grinned Roberto, "we need your help, think you can invent something that'll hide our scents from Logan?"
Forge blinked, before laughing manically.
"Ha, hah, hah. hahahahahahaha. heh, haha haha", he laughed, clambering onto the hood of Scott's car, curling up and falling asleep, he awoke for just one second to let out, "HA HA!"
The New Recruits watched him as he slept, blinking.
"Fine, be that way!", said Amara, pouting.
"Yeah, we can easily find another genius. In fact, we can find MORE than one! A whole pack of...errr", Bobby paused, "what's the plural of genius?"
"Genius..eseses?", tried Ray.
"Geniui?", tried Sam
They shrugged, walking off, leaving Forge on the hood of Scott's car. Jamie whistled lightly as he stepped out of the mansion, grinning when he saw Forge.
"Hey, Forge!", he said, "just the guy I was looking for!"
Forge gave an odd snort-sound in reply as Jamie made a few clones, which dragged him off the car, leaving a big dent in the hood. Jamie's clones got Forge into the garden, propping him up on one of Storm's weird plants.
"Remember when you said you could make me a machine that would make never- ending curly fries?", he asked, grinning, "well, today's the day"
"Frinklepock", muttered Forge.
Jamie frowned, reaching over to pry one of Forge's closed eyes open...getting a whole lot of white. Jamie, being a kid and never seeing what a semi-concious eyes looked like under the eyelid immediately deducted it to be the coolest thing he'd ever seen in his entire life.
"Wow", said Jamie, "I wonder what happens when I poke it?"
Just before Jamie had the chance to poke Forge in the eye Xavier wheel up, Storm by his side.
"James...what are you doing to Forge?", he asked, blinking.
Jamie jumped away, hiding his hands behind his back.
"Nothing!"
"Why is he sleeping in my rare flowerbed collection?", said Storm, her face twitching slightly, the sound of thunder in the air.
"Ororo, calm down", said Xavier, with a sigh, "Forge, are you awake?"
"Pleh".
"Okay", said Xavier arching a brow, before sighing, "will somebody PLEASE put him in a guest room until he's awake and coherent again?"
Forge gave a contented snore from the bed he'd been deposited upon by a very unhappy Logan. He sighed, finally able to slip into peacefull slumber, not hearing the sound of Scott's screams across Bayville.
"MY CAR!!!!"
----
[1] - An in-comic joke. Forge makes a doomsday device for Magneto in 'Ultimate X-Men', and is promised Canda as a reward.
[2] - Seems a sad truth, Jason is only there when a mind-reader is needed. Poor Jason.
And there we go. This fic also shows how much Forge is used as a plot device. He was one in the show, most of the time he's one in the comics, and he's brought in just to make or fix soemthing in so many fics, I am afraid to count them. The poor guy. Anyway. This is my 50th fic, whoo! Do review. And thanks for reading :D
By Todd Fan
Disclaimer: "He's a computer genius, he's supposed to be a little weird"
----
My Gods, I'm doing a Forge one-shot random madness fic! I got the idea for this one while watching the terribly animated, but damn funny show, Ed, Edd and Eddy. In case you didn't know, all three 'Eds' are voiced by Evo Voice Actors for: Alex, Forge and Ray, respectively. Anyway, this was inspired by the episode 'Scrambled Ed', involving a very tired Edd (also a genius/inventor), who has a wonderfull manical laugh, which I like to believe Forge shares. Those common to the show will recognise a few quotes from the episode.
----
One last adjustment annnd....there. He'd done it. Forge smiled proudly at his latest invention, a gadget that could revolutionise mankind. Sure, it had taken him two weeks to make, resluting in him neglecting to sleep, bathe or eat anything that wasn't dug out of the bottom of his fridge. Sure, as a result, his body's metabolism was starting to revolt against him. And, sure, he smelled like something that had crawled out of a toilet and died. But he was a happy inventor. Later, he would ring the patent office that knew him by voice, and after that...probably take a shower....then maybe eat something. But right now, his brain needed sleep. It was all fine and good having an IQ that went over the three hundred mark, but if said organ didn't get any rest, it had a habit of shutting down by itself.
"Sleepy, sleepy, sleepy", said Forge.
With a THUNK his head hit the lab table, not that Forge had noticed, he'd fallen asleep halfway there. Sadly, his slumber would not go as planned.
BAMF
A cloud of brimstone popped into the air, followed by a blue, fuzzy elf, by the name of Kurt Wagner accompanied by one Kathrine Pryde.
"Hey, Forge, the Professor sent us to get you, he needs help vith....", Kurt trailed off, blinking at the face-down inventor whom hadn't budged an inch, a rare occurence when Kurt made a sudden entrance, "...Forge?"
Kurt gave Forge a prod with his foot.....nothing.
"OH MY GOD, FORGE IS DEAD!", he screamed.
Kitty sighed, shaking her head, squinting at the 'dead' Forge.
"He's not dead, Kurt, he's breathing", she said, "hey, Forge, wake up, we need you!".
"Limka, nughiis", muttered Forge in his sleep.
The two teens blinked.
"Ho....kay", said Kitty with a shrug, "come on, Kurt, lets get him to the institute, maybe he'll wake up when we get there"
Kurt nodded, grabbing onto both Forge and Kitty.
BAMF
The three reappeared in the hangar of the Xavier Institute. Now having no table to lean on, Forge's semi-consious body hit the ground with a thud. Forge forced one eye partially open, trying to figure out how he go to his new surroundings without using his legs, while still being more asleep than awake.
"Neh?".
Suddenly, a pair of arms picked him up, dragging him over to the Blackbird, which looked worse for wear.
"Forge, fix the Blackbird", growled Logan, "Bobby flew it into a cliff...again"
Forge took a few minutes to process the words. To his sleepy mind, he could have sworn Logan said: 'Blahge, blah blah blah. Blahby, blah blah blah blah blah....blah'.
"Whaaa?", he said confusedly, trying to focus on Logan, and not doing a very good job of it.
Logan blinked at Forge, sniffing him, before recoiling away.
"What did you do ta him, Elf?", he growled.
"I didn't do anything!", protested Kurt, "he vas like that vhen ve found him, right Kitty?"
Kitty nodded.
"Yeah, he wasn't moving a whole lot, either"
Logan sighed, giving Forge a 'gentle' shake.
"WAKE UP!", he snarled, "fix the jet!"
Forge gave a snort, he'd been falling back to sleep again before all that shaking had started.
"G'way", he said, the closest thing to a coherent word he'd said since going to sleep.
Logan snarled.
SNIKT
"Fix. The. Jet. NOW!", he snarled.
Forge answered with a snore. Logan blinked, before dropping him, walking to the nearest wall, begining to slash it up. Hank sighed as he watched the scene, hooking Forge's rather limp body over a crate.
"Okay, Forge", he said, "you're obviously not in the right state to do anything, so just talk me through it"
He picked up an odd piece of machinery.
"Where does this go?"
"Attach it speficly to the cambarush nigum...", said Forge, falling back to sleep.
Logan snarled, walking over and smacking him in the head.
"Parallel to the car seat!", shouted out Forge, before his head drooped again.
"Okay", said Hank, then paused, "wait...there are no car seats. It's a jet!"
"Nirget", replied Forge.
"Well, that's alot of help!", snapped Hank, "what's wrong wi...."
Suddenly, there was a metallic huuuuum as the hangar shok. The door opened by itself and a silver orb flew in. It hovered by Forge, before opening and dragging the sleeping inventor in, and away through the door.
"HEY!", shouted Kurt, "that's OUR genius!"
---
After a little while of travelling, in which Forge actually got some peace and quiet, the orb stopped in Magneto's super-secret hideout. It opened up, depositing Forge uncerimoniously on the floor.
"Pah", said Forge, why wouldn't people just leave him alone?!!!!
Piotr sighed, picking him up and carrying him over to Magneto.
"Okay, Forge", said Magneto, form where he sat on his 'throne', "you don't like me and I don't like you. But I need your expertise. If you can help me, I'll let you have Canda when I take over the world".[1]
He clicked his fingers and Remy came over, carrying a VCR.
"So", said Magneto, before taking a deep breath, "how, exactly, do I STOP THIS INFERNAL MACHINE FROM BLINKING TWELVE O' CLOCK??!!!"
The shouting made Forge open his eyes slightly.
"Use hot wax for more manageable folicles", he muttered.
Magneto blinked.
"Hot wax?", he said, "okay, Mastermind, try hot wax!"
Jason blinked.
"Why ME? Why not get Sabertooth to do it, HE'S the one with healing factor!"
"Because", said Magneto, "I ASKED YOU!"
Jason sighed, taking the VCR from Remy, stomping into the kitchen with it, muttering about how he was only IN the Acolytes because Magneto wanted a mind-reader, and was never allowed to do anything but mind-read or deminial jobs. [2]
A few moments passed before there was a hissing sound, shortly followed by a fwooooomf, accompanied with manical laughter.....and then alot of screaming. Jason soon ran out of the kitchen, his arm on fire, he quickly grabbed Remy's coat, using it to bat out the flames. He was sucessfull...but had managed instead to set Remy on fire. Remy blinked before freaking out, running around in circles, screaming like a six-year- old girl until Piotr dumped a large bucket of water on him.
"What...happened?", said Magneto, massaging his forehead.
"Well", said Jason, "I did the hot wax thing, poured it on the machine, which made the VCR start shooting sparks, Pyro came along, started a fire and the rest is history"
Magneto frowned, storming over to Forge, who had curled up in a little ball on one of Piotr's crates, sleeping soundly.
"YOU LIED!", he snapped, "no Canada for YOU, Mister!"
With that, he threw Forge into a orb, which took him over to the Brotherhood house, uncerimoniously dumping him on their front porch.
"Whatever you're selling, we're not buying!", said Pietro, opening the door, before blinking at Forge, "hey, did anyone here order a genius?"
Lance blinked, looking over Pietro's shoudler, before grinning, dragging Forge into the house and into the living room.
"You can get a Brotherhood life-time guarentee of not destroying your property if you can tell me what's wrong with the TV", he said, pressing Forge up close to the TV., which was flickering on and off.
Forge groaned, so tired. So very, very tired.
"Liberally apply toothpaste", he said.
"Okay", said Lance, then shouted up the stairs, "Wanda, fetch the toothpaste!"
A few moments later, Wanda stomped down the stairs, followed by Todd, hopping happily after her.
"Come on, my Scarlet Sweetie", he said, "I bet you'd really like it"
"For the last time, Toad", snapped Wanda, "I don't want you to rub my feet, under ANY circumstances!"
"Awwww", said Todd, deflating.
"Here's your damn toothpaste!", snapped Wanda, shoving it in Lance's hand, "what do you want toothpaste for, anyway?"
"Forge said it would fix the TV", said Lance, starting to put toothpaste on the TV.
Wanda blinked, looking around.
"Forge isn't here"
Lance paused.
"Well, he was a minute ago!", he said, "where did he go? BLOB, did you eat him?!"
"NO!", came Freddy's voice from the kitchen, "...moron"
"Then where the heck is he?", muttered Pietro.
Forge was still in the Brotherhood house. He'd dragged himself up the stairs, his body working on auto-pilot. He eventually found a bedroom, his eyes lighting up when he saw what had to be the most wonderfull thing on the planet.
"Bed!", he said in amazement, stumbling over to it.
Sadly for Forge, he'd picked Todd's room. As soon as he pulled back the covers, he was greeted with dirt, slime and insects. The sight was enough to make him recoil in horror.
"Not if it was the last bed on the face of the earth", he muttered, stumbling out in search of a bed. He found one across the hall....though he'd wish he hadn't. He'd soon started to have a restfull slumber, until the owner of the bed he was lying on found him.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON MY BED?!!", screamed Wanda, before picking him up with a hex-bolt, and tossing him out of the open window.
Forge hit the ground with a thud.
"Bed...gone", he mumbled, his face covered in dirt.
"HEY, THE TOOTHPASTE HAS GUMMED UP THE TV SCREEN!", came Lance's voice from inside.
Forge sighed, happy to sleep right there in the dirt, only to have a car screech to a stop close to his head.
"THERE you are, Forge!", said Tabby with a grin in Scott's car, which she'd 'borrowed', "we've been looking ALLLL over for you!"
She threw him into the back, heading back to the Institute.
----
It wasn't long before they got back to the mansion, the New Recruits awaiting their return.
"I found him!", said Tabby proudly, pulling Forge out and dumping him on the ground.
"Hey, Forge", grinned Roberto, "we need your help, think you can invent something that'll hide our scents from Logan?"
Forge blinked, before laughing manically.
"Ha, hah, hah. hahahahahahaha. heh, haha haha", he laughed, clambering onto the hood of Scott's car, curling up and falling asleep, he awoke for just one second to let out, "HA HA!"
The New Recruits watched him as he slept, blinking.
"Fine, be that way!", said Amara, pouting.
"Yeah, we can easily find another genius. In fact, we can find MORE than one! A whole pack of...errr", Bobby paused, "what's the plural of genius?"
"Genius..eseses?", tried Ray.
"Geniui?", tried Sam
They shrugged, walking off, leaving Forge on the hood of Scott's car. Jamie whistled lightly as he stepped out of the mansion, grinning when he saw Forge.
"Hey, Forge!", he said, "just the guy I was looking for!"
Forge gave an odd snort-sound in reply as Jamie made a few clones, which dragged him off the car, leaving a big dent in the hood. Jamie's clones got Forge into the garden, propping him up on one of Storm's weird plants.
"Remember when you said you could make me a machine that would make never- ending curly fries?", he asked, grinning, "well, today's the day"
"Frinklepock", muttered Forge.
Jamie frowned, reaching over to pry one of Forge's closed eyes open...getting a whole lot of white. Jamie, being a kid and never seeing what a semi-concious eyes looked like under the eyelid immediately deducted it to be the coolest thing he'd ever seen in his entire life.
"Wow", said Jamie, "I wonder what happens when I poke it?"
Just before Jamie had the chance to poke Forge in the eye Xavier wheel up, Storm by his side.
"James...what are you doing to Forge?", he asked, blinking.
Jamie jumped away, hiding his hands behind his back.
"Nothing!"
"Why is he sleeping in my rare flowerbed collection?", said Storm, her face twitching slightly, the sound of thunder in the air.
"Ororo, calm down", said Xavier, with a sigh, "Forge, are you awake?"
"Pleh".
"Okay", said Xavier arching a brow, before sighing, "will somebody PLEASE put him in a guest room until he's awake and coherent again?"
Forge gave a contented snore from the bed he'd been deposited upon by a very unhappy Logan. He sighed, finally able to slip into peacefull slumber, not hearing the sound of Scott's screams across Bayville.
"MY CAR!!!!"
----
[1] - An in-comic joke. Forge makes a doomsday device for Magneto in 'Ultimate X-Men', and is promised Canda as a reward.
[2] - Seems a sad truth, Jason is only there when a mind-reader is needed. Poor Jason.
And there we go. This fic also shows how much Forge is used as a plot device. He was one in the show, most of the time he's one in the comics, and he's brought in just to make or fix soemthing in so many fics, I am afraid to count them. The poor guy. Anyway. This is my 50th fic, whoo! Do review. And thanks for reading :D