Title: The tale of Hermione the know-it-all in rap-limerick form
By: RogueCajun & Bootstraps
(Actually, Bootstraps didn't help this time, I did it all by myself, I'm a big-kid now!)
(The Crazy minds that brought you the Quidditch song, the tale of Scabbers the rat in rap-limerick form and that will bring you the tale of the Marauders and what happens when you try to get revenge on your arch nemesis, did I mention that it too has some Aerosmith in it?)
Chapter: One/One
Chapter Title: Hermione the know-it-all
Genre: Humor
Summary: From the Crazy minds that brought you the Quidditch song, the rap-limerick about Scabbers and Dude looks like a lady comes a poem-esque doodad about Hermione the know-it-all. Even if you do not like Hermione the know-it-all, you will like this poem-y thing. It comes complete with random rhyming words, incoherent sentences, but Aerosmith this time. What more could you ask for?
This is not, I repeat not to be taken seriously, we wrote this one day when we were bored.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, if I owned Harry Potter then Sirius would not have died and the books would be about him, not Harry. But alas, I do not own Harry Potter.
Rating: Pg-13-ish
Random Quote: "Love is like oxygen, love is a many splendored thing, love lifts us up where we belong, all you need is love." -Ewan McGregor
There once was a lass named Hermione
Who had odd teeth that were always clean and shiny.
Blimey! It's really hard to rhyme anything with Hermione.
She was a know-it-all
And very proud to be
Muggle-born a mudblood
But did I mention that
She's smarter than you and me?
She went to Hogwarts
Having read all the books
And she had not quite
Scorching good looks
Her two bestest friends
Were Harry and Ron
And by the end
Of their very first year
Together they had faced
A troll, a three headed pup, and
Harry's worst fear—
Lord Voldemort
Doodly doodly doo
Nothing rhymes with Voldemort
Second year
They had a new fear
That was really quite old and moldy
Hey, did you know that moldy sort of sounds like Volde, as is Voldemort?
The heir of Slytherin
Was loosed on the school
And Draco Malfoy found it to be cool
To tease the muggle-born students
That they would be the next to die
Axl Rose says that 'When you're high you never
Ever wanna come down'
And I am deathly afraid of clowns
Hermione was petrified
And though the fiend who did it tried to hide
Hermione's genius had done it again,
Solved the problem
And come up with the solution
In the end
Harry found him
Fought off the Basilisk
With the help of an from the ashes risen Phoenix
Named Fawkes and a spiffy new sword from Godric Gryffindor
Harry and Fawkes slayed the basilisk
Defeated Tom Marvolo Riddle
Which spells 'I am Lord Voldemort' if you rearrange all the letters.
As always, Harry saved the day
The crazy egocentric Lockhart went away
My school was out on the 27th of May
And so ends the second year.
In her third year
Amid the mass fear
Of the crazed murderer
Who was after Harry Potter
The fugitive was an ex-marauder
Draco thought—er,
Maybe not
Malfoy decided to be cruel
And laugh at the fact that he well knew
Hagrid's new pet,
His precious Hippogriff Buckbeak
Was bound for execution
But Hermione it seemed
Was the one who was mean
When she whacked
The prat in the face
Giggle, giggle, ha, ha!
The bouncing ferret deserved it!
So, you've listened to my tale
My poem-esque doodad thing
About the lass named Hermione
Blimey! It's still hard to rhyme anything with Hermione!
So I bid you a fond farewell
You never know where you'll see me next
Nor do you know whose tale
In rap-limerick form
I will tell
Perhaps Draco Malfoy the prat
Or Ronald Weasley the boy who had the rat
Did I mention before that my friend Elizabeth dated a guy named Matt?
Perhaps is you are lucky
Eat all your vegetables and wish real hard
I might just write about Harry, the pansy
Er, I mean the boy who lived.
Or maybe one about Sneaky Severus Snape the greasy git of a potions professor
You would like that, wouldn't you?
Maybe I'll write about those mischief-makers, the Marauders
Ginny is Mrs. Weasley's only daughter
And now I've realized this mess has gone on too long
It must be stopped
I really want a pop
My stomach just growled
So I will leave you now
And go get something to eat
Ciao!