REST IN PIECES- a Kyp Durron vignette

Look at me, my depth perception must be off again
Cause this hurts deeper than I thought it did
It has not healed with time
It just shot down my spine 

I never really noticed just how much Jaina really meant to me until I saw her with Jag. I knew that they were meant to be together, but a part of me still grieved for what could've been between us. I thought that it would get easier, seeing her with someone else. Only it hasn't, and I don't know if I'll ever get over the pain of not acting on this.

You look so beautiful tonight
Remind me how you laid us down
And gently smiled before you destroyed my life

I can still remember the way I felt her presence light up when she and Jag exchanged their wedding vows. They asked me to be there and of course, I agreed. It's a good thing I know how to keep my emotions under control. I shed a few tears of course, and I told them that they were tears of joy.

I lied.

Would you find it in your heart

To make this go away
And let me rest in pieces
Jaina will never know that I dream of her at night, wishing she were mine. She'll never know that I'll never love someone like I've loved her.

Would you find it in your heart?
To make this go away
And let me rest in pieces

And now she wants to know what's wrong with me, why I'm distancing myself. She's looking at me with that beautiful brandy gaze of hers. How can she be so oblivious to my feelings for her? How can she not see the love in my eyes every time I look at her? How can she know that Jag will never love her the way I love her?

Would you find it in your heart?
To make it go away
And let me rest in pieces

I just want her to leave me alone. I want her to go away. She doesn't know that she has destroyed the only reason I ever really lived in the first place. I was born to love her. And now she's gone. Again she asks me why I'm acting this way.

I can't tell her.

I wish I could.
Look at me, my depth perception must be off again
You got much closer than I thought you did
I'm in your reach
You held me in your hands

And now she reaches out a hand and puts it on my shoulder. I wish she wouldn't do that. I love having her touch me. Every time she hugs me, I just want to hold her until I'm too weary to let go. I've never let anyone in the way she managed to slip past my defenses. And now I'm paying the price. She belongs to Jag. Not me. Her hand is still on my shoulder and I shrug it off, trying to act nonchalant about it. She can't know that I'm in love with her. She's happy with him and I'm not about to destroy that. Even though I know that I could make her happier.

But could you find it in your heart?
To make this go away
And let me rest in pieces

I walk away from her, desperately pleading with the Force to not let her follow me. I've got to get out of here before she figures out why I'm acting the way I am. I love her and she'll never know. And I'll never love again. I guess I've accepted the fact that I, Kyp Durron, am resigned to lead a lonely life.

I head to the tapcaf, not really wanting to be around people, but more or less wanting to find something to drown myself in. A pretty blonde asks me to dance. I have nothing better to do, so I dance with her. She laughs and smiles at me. And for once, I don't think about Jaina. I'm caught in the moment of being with this pretty girl. I smile for the first time in Force knows how long.

Maybe there's hope for me yet.

Would you find it in your heart?
To make it go away
And let me rest in…

*FIN*

R&R please!!