(A/N: this is my first Book of Mormon fic and I wanted to write something angsty with a sweet ending. Warning: may cause feels. Enjoy the fic)
OoOoOoOoO
Kevin's hands trembled violently, causing the hand cuffs shackled to the table; rattle like a ghost in a haunted house ride. He was nervous. The female detective sitting opposite of him stared at the man, trying to put the pieces together on what was in the case she was handed. The shaking, pale man in front of her couldn't possibly have done what the case file said. Either they caught the wrong man, or she was handed the wrong file and in the wrong room.
"Mr. Price?" she began.
Kevin kept staring at a scratch on the table top. His own rattling cuffs were beginning to annoy him, but he couldn't stop shaking. He tried so hard, but only made the shaking worse.
"Mr. Price?" she tried again, calmer than before.
"I did it," he muttered. His voice was hollow and hoarse as he spoke.
"Excuse me?"
Kevin met the detective's eyes. She stared into his. His face didn't match the picture in the case file. The picture in the file had a smiling man with bright light brown eyes and a smile that could blind a man if he stared at it the wrong way. His hair was perfect and clean and he was full of life. The man that sat before her wasn't the same man.
He was pale and lifeless. His brown eyes were stale and hollow, sunken into his sockets. There were dark bags under his eyes from lack of sleep. This man's hair was all about, seeming as if he'd ran his fingers through it a few thousand times. This man, this man didn't smile. This one shook violently. His white shirt had blood stains on it and even a few splashes on his face. The picture may have matched the man before her, but they weren't the same man.
"I did it," he repeated for her, without raising his voice or changing his tone. He just stared at her. That alone convinced her.
"Do you want a lawyer?"
"Why?" he laughed, "There's no point!" he was slowly loosing his mind. She could see the tears beginning to well up in his eyes, "I did it. There's no way to prove my innocence and I'm not going to lie. I did it. I give up."
"Mr. Price," she put a hand towards him. That just made him shake even worse. She retreated her hand and folded them on top of the manila folder with Kevin's case file, "I don't understand. You're admitting to your crime and you don't even want to try to prove your innocence."
"Did you even read the file?" he asked, returning his gaze to the scratch on the table.
"I did, Mr. Price," she nodded, "I just don't understand. You have no past history of violence or even a criminal record. Nothing. Clean slate. Not even a parking or traffic ticket," she opened the file and began to read aloud, "Kevin Price. Age twenty one. Mormon who recently returned from a two year mission from…"
"Uganda," he finished for her.
"Uganda, right," she nodded, and then returned to the file, "Oldest of a family of four. Two brothers and two sisters?"
He nodded slightly.
"Father left at a young age?"
"He was arrested. He was drinking and driving and crashed into a shop and the police arrested him for that."
"Mother had to raise five children on her own?"
"No," he shook his head, "I took over as the 'fatherly figure' for being the oldest."
"How old were you?"
"Fourteen."
"That's when you discovered the Church of Ladder Day Saints?"
"Yes," he still wasn't making eye contact.
She shut the file and faced Kevin again, "That's where you loose me, Mr. Price."
He stayed silent, afraid of loosing his marbles completely.
She continued on, "How does a child of God commit murder. Three people, Mr. Price. Three people and you're not even twenty two."
Nothing.
"Want a lawyer yet?"
"No."
"You're twenty one, Mr. Price. Why would you throw your whole life away?"
His answer was to shake more. She finally realized why he was shaking. He was nervous and stressed. He didn't want to be there. He was ashamed and she saw that in his eyes.
"Can you tell me what happened?"
"I don't remember," he said.
"Tell me what you know, Mr. Price."
He faced her again, "We were having a weekly card game."
"Poker?"
"Not us, no. We play Uno or blackjack. We're not men of the betting nature."
"Please continue."
"We were playing a round of black jack. One of the other Elders accused another of cheating."
"Which two were these?"
He hesitated, not saying anything.
"Not comfortable?"
"No."
"Alright, alright," she nodded, "Please continue."
"So, the arguing continued and the other Elder and I joined in."
"Did you two try to break up the argument?"
He shook his head. Kevin lifted his shaking cuffed hands to his face. He rubbed his eyes, attempting to stay awake, and tried to continue.
"No, we didn't. I was on the side of the Elder that was presumed cheating. After a few minutes of arguing, I pulled out of the argument."
"Why?"
"I was getting annoyed."
"Annoyed?"
"I get agitated very easily."
She jotted down a note on the manila folder.
"I got up to get some coffee and to get away from the arguing. It kept getting louder and louder-"
He paused, beginning to shake again. The cuffs rattled even louder than before. She felt pity for him, she really did. She knew damn well that she wasn't supposed to feel pity for a murderer, but here was a man. A child of God. A Mormon. Served his two year mission in Uganda. A clean slate, yes. nothing on his record and he's only twenty one.
Kevin took a few deep breaths and looked down at the table again. She could see this man about to have a nervous break down any minute.
"I almost pulled the trigger."
"What?" she was taken back by his words.
"I had the gun, to my head," he said. He looked up to the detective, "I almost pulled the trigger, but the police barged in. I don't deserve to live."
"Mr. Price," she tried to speak to him.
"I don't deserve to live. The only people I could call my friends," Kevin took a harsh breath, "Are dead, because I killed them. I don't want a lawyer. I don't want to live."
'What about your mission? Did you do well in Uganda?"
He laughed, "No. No I didn't. I left. I broke rule 72."
"I'm no Mormon, Mr. Price. What's rule 72?"
"Leaving your mission companion. I left Arn- I mean. I left my companion alone."
"Why?"
"Uganda wasn't doing anything. None of the other Mormon missionaries converted anyone. I gave up and wanted out of there. My companion did more than I ever would have."
"Is that why you killed him?"
"No. we forgave each other when we got back here."
"What about the other two?"
"Met them in Uganda. They were some of the missionaries my companion and I befriended."
"Where were they originally from?"
"You know about them," Kevin snapped, "Why do you need me to tell you?"
"Mr. Price-"
"Are we done?" he was slowly going off the deep end.
"Yes," she gathered the papers in the folder.
She stood to leave the room. He shut his eyes tight and stopped her, "Wait."
The woman turned, "yes?"
"Please don't go. I'm sorry."
She sat back down with a nod, "Can you tell me anything else you remember?"
He shook his head, "I really don't remember much. I remember the arguing and making coffee. The next thing I remember, I'm sitting on the floor with a gun to my head, covered in blood. Then the police came, and they cuffed me. that's all I remember."
"Mr. Price-"
"Kevin," he insisted, "Please."
"Kevin," she nodded, "Can you just tell me the names of the other men? I want to hear it from your mouth."
He took a deep breath, "Arnold Cunningham, Connor McKinley and Christopher Thomas."
"Thank you. we're done here," she stood again.
"What's going to happen to me?" Kevin's eyes weren't hollow like when they first started. He had some worry in there now. Worry and sorrow along with regret.
"I don't know, Kevin. I don't know. I wish I could help you, but I can't. I'm so sorry."
"I don't deserve to live," he repeated.
"Kevin-"
"I don't."
"Please, listen," she sat back down, "Kevin, there's always hope."
"Nope. Not for me. I'll be locked up for life. Do I look like the kind of guy that would last in prison? No, I'm not. I'm just a scrawny, Mormon kid. Just tell me what I can do to just… not live anymore. How do I end it in jail?"
"Kevin, please."
"What else do you wanna know about the case? I'll help out and corporate if you need it. I don't wanna live if my only friends are dead. I'm going to hell either way.
"My friends won't have to deal with me for an eternity. I don't expect them to forgive me, I wouldn't forgive me either. I just wanna go out with what little dignity I have left."
"Kevin, I can't talk you out of your… plan, but thank you for all of your help. I think we have all the information we need."
He nodded.
"Thank you, Kevin."
She stood once more and left for good this time. Kevin sat alone in the room, shaking again. He put his head down on the table, and finally broke down into tears. The detective watched him slowly break down from the one way mirror. She felt for him, she really did. If she wasn't on duty, she'd've gone back in there to comfort him for real. Not just her cop comforting, but the comforting he needs.
"Are you having feelings for another sociopath again, Williams?"
"I feel really bad for this guy, Adams."
"Why? He killed three men that he called 'friends'."
"he did it in a blind rage. Did you hear anything he was saying?"
"I came in to late," Adams shrugged.
"He said he wants to end his life. This poor man has nothing else to live for. Kevin Price, a twenty one year old Mormon who just murdered three of his friends and has nothing else to live for. I feel for him."
"A Mormon? What was his motive?"
"He had none. He killed in a blind rage. Poor guy," she crossed her arms over her chest.
"I sense the wheels are turning in your head."
She nodded, staring at Kevin face down on the table.
OoOoOoOoO
Kevin lay on his side in his jail cell bed. It was springy and very uncomfortable, but he didn't care. He held his knees to his chest and stared at the concrete wall, counting the number of scratches and lines on it. he was at around seven hundred and forty nine when a guard came around.
"Price."
He sat up and stared at the man, "Yeah?"
"This is for you," he held a small box through the bars.
Kevin stood, shaking. He took the box from the guards hand, "Who's it from?"
"Detective Williams."
With that, he turned and walked away, leaving Kevin alone once again. Kevin took the box and sat on the bed Indian style. The box was easy to open. Inside were a letter and a small bottle.
Kevin, I wish I could do more for you. I wish I could do anything. There's nothing more I can do. I'm sending you this while I'm off duty. I feel for you Kevin Price, I do. I want to help you out, I really do. I can't do anything and I'm sorry. So, enclosed is the only thing I could do to help you with your plan. You're right, you wouldn't last a day in an actual prison. Goodbye, Kevin. It was a pleasure meeting you, but not under the circumstances we were in. Love, Casius 'Cas' Williams
Kevin smirked a little. She really did feel pity for him. He took the bottle out and saw a few blue pills in there. Without questioning with the pill actually was, he took them. this is what he was waiting for.
He slid the box under the bed and lain back down in the uncomfortable bed before tears started to slide down his cheeks.
"Turn it off," he kept repeating to himself as he slowly faded away from reality.
OoOoOoOoO
He was really dead. He saw the light at the end of the tunnel and walked through it. He expected to see fire and demons in hell, but didn't. Kevin saw blue and clouds. he walked around until he saw the giant gold gates only ever spoken in stories.
"Kevin Price."
Kevin turned and saw Him. Jesus Christ was standing before him.
"Jesus."
"Kevin, you have admitted your wrong doings. Your friends forgave you. They wanted you up here with them. I wouldn't hear the end of it if you weren't here," Arnold, Connor and Chris peaked their heads out from behind Jesus and smiled to Kevin, "You admitted what you did. That's good enough for me."
Arnold ran out and hugged Kevin. No way was Kevin going to screw up in front of Jesus. Arnold tightened his grip around Kevin's slender body. He couldn't help but smile and hug back. Connor ran out and jumped on Kevin's back and the three laughed. Chris joined the group in no time at all.
The four fell into a heap on the cloud ground, laughing. The gates opened and Jesus was gone. Kevin shielded his eyes from the bright light. The others stared with a smile on their faces.
Connor put his arm around Kevin's shoulder, "Welcome home, Kevin."
"Glad to have ya here, best friend," Arnold took the other shoulder.
"It wouldn't've been the same without ya," Chris smiled.
"I thought you all would've hated me…"
"Nah," they all sang in unison.
"It was all our faults," Chris explained, "We knew how easily you get angry and we should've chilled out."
"Yeah," Connor nodded, "We couldn't let you spend an eternity in Hell anyway. It's no fun down there. We all heard what you said down in that little room with the detective-"
"Who was pretty cute by the way," Chris noted.
Connor rolled his eyes, "And we were moved by your words and confession."
"Do we really mean that much to you?" Arnold asked.
He nodded, "Well, yeah. You guys are the only ones I can call friends. I don't know what I'd've done without you guys."
"You're home now," Arnold hugged onto him tighter, "You're where you belong."
"Yeah," Kevin nodded, pulling Connor and Chris into the hug, "I'm home."
(A/N: done! I think that went pretty well for my first fic. I haven't written angst in a while! I think I did a good job. What do you all think? It's my first BoM fic and I hope I did everyone justice under the circumstances. R and R and thank you so much for reading!)