Why does it have to happen like this? Everything stays the same, and nothing can change the way they are. Like the seasons; summer follows spring and fall follows summer, with winter right after that. If we could change what we wanted to when we wanted, though, we never would have met.

Caution: Might make you cry.

Please listen to 'You'll be in my heart' by Phil Collins while reading. Also, if the song finishes before you're done reading, please listen to 'Everytime we touch Slow Version' by Cascada. Thanks!

PONYBOY'S POV

"I want Dally!" she cried, breaking into sobs again. Two-Bit put his hand on her shoulder, looking at Darry, who stiffened. No one knew Dally had a…a girlfriend. I was surprised, although I shouldn't have been. Dallas Winston was known for lying.

"There, there," Two-Bit said, although having obvious difficulty on calming her down.

"Bring…bring me my diary…please, Pony?" Carolyn sniffed.

"Yeah. Yeah, sure." I went to get the book. She had brought it to our house when Darry called her and invited her after finding her name and number crumpled up in Dally's jacket pocket after he died. I also wondered why she wanted me to get it.

I'm a klutz. I dropped it, and it fell open. I tried not to read it, but I saw Dally's name when I picked it up. I know I'm a snoop, but I just had to read what she was saying about him.

I want to go kill myself. If there's an end to the world, I want to be the first one to jump off. It's not fair that he had to die! I need to escape reality. This isn't really happening. I'm just asleep, and when I wake up, Dally will be next to me , or something. This just isn't happening! It can't be! I need to wake up. I need to wake up! I NEED TO WAKE UP!

I shut the book real quick, hoping I hadn't taken such a long time that they'd guess that I had read some of it. I gave the book to Carolyn, who was still crying.

"Th…thanks, Pony," she said, blowing her nose on her sleeve. "Pencil, too?"

"Sure." I had one in my pocket, so I handed that one to her.

She sat back in the chair she was sitting in and, finding a page, began to write. I needed a smoke. I grabbed my pack of cigarettes out of my back pocket, took one out and popped it in my mouth.

"Hey, Two-Bit, gotta lighter on ya?" He tossed me his and I lit up, walking to the door. I stood outside, smokin' away, until someone tapped my shoulder. I jumped. It was Soda.

"Hey, Pony. You ok?" he asked, jamming his hands in his pockets.

I took a long drag on my cigarette before answering, "Yeah, why?"

"Cause' you're paler than usual, that's why," he said, punching my arm playfully.

I tossed the butt of my cigarette off of the stairs and took a seat on one of them. Soda came to sit next to me and put his arm around my shoulders. I shivered.

"You ok?" he asked again, then hitting himself on his forehead, realizing he just asked that.

"Yeah. I guess," I answered, making a perfect smoke ring with the excess in my mouth.