Title: Constant Running
Summary: The Doctor's thought's post-Journey's End. Focuses on Donna, Rose, and obviously the Doctor
Pairing: Doctor/Rose, and Doctor/Donna friendship
Rating: PG (not all that great at ratings but I don't think there's any particularly mature content)
Spoilers: Journey's End, Doomsday, and The Runaway Bride
Disclaimer: These characters and settings and whatnot don't belong to me. I stole them and gave them a new home, I'm not willing to put them back the way I found them because I found them in such a sad state, but I do promise not to make any money off them.
A/N: Just a short fic, I'm sure it's been done already but I've been thinking about it a lot so I decided to write it and post it. Read it if you're interested. I'm thinking of doing another one from Clone!Doctor's perspective since I think he has a few issues to sort out too … not entirely sure if I should though. Let me know what you think.
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As the doors to the TARDIS closed behind him the Doctor briefly considered letting his body slump down, and taking time to grieve. Last time the Universe robbed him of that opportunity. Last time he stood in the TARDIS with tears streaming down his face, prepared to break down, but then there was Donna. She appeared in his TARDIS out of nowhere and suddenly there was no time to grieve. Suddenly it was back to running around, saving the Universe. No time for contemplation or grief, too much to do. This time there's no Donna to distract him though. Donna's gone too, left behind back on Earth, left behind with her family. It isn't really fair for him to be so upset about that. Despite the fact that Donna wanted to stay with him forever, just like Rose did, she was home now, with her family. Not only that but she was happy, back to being her old self again. Of course she'd been happy with him too … oh she'd been incredible. But it wasn't fair of him to suggest that she wasn't special without him. She was still the same wonderful person she'd always been. She was still the same Donna who'd appeared in his TARDIS that day to distract him from his grief. Taking away the memories of the last year didn't take away who she was. She could still do magnificent things if she was given the opportunity. He hoped that at some point she'd be given another chance to shine … even if he couldn't be there to see it anymore.
This time he was all alone again and it was his decision. He could decide for himself whether he wanted to take time to grieve or to rush out there and solve all the problems in the Universe. Almost without hesitation he walked over to the controls and began hitting buttons, pulling levers and turning knobs, although without his usual enthusiasm. He wasn't going to grieve, it wasn't him, and it wasn't fair. He had no right to grieve this time. After all, he was the one who pushed her away. Standing there on that beach, the place where his heart had been broken twice now, he had pushed her straight into the arms of another man. He'd given her an order, told her that this man needed her and that she was to look after him. The worst part of all was that the man she'd turned to was him. She was out there, living her life, with him … but not him. Her very own Doctor. And he never got a chance to tell her. How could he blame her when he'd orchestrated the whole thing? She'd asked him to tell her, to finish the sentence he started that day, when they'd last stood on that beach. He'd been burning to give her the answer she wanted. He knew that if he told her she'd run into his arms and he'd never have to let her go. The other Doctor … the other version of him … could live without her. If he got worse then who cares? He's in a whole different Universe. But that wasn't right. The Doctor was supposed to fix things … and he couldn't let himself be selfish. So he held his tongue, he refused to tell her, knowing that the other Doctor would tell her what he couldn't. And he did. Watching her kiss the other Doctor after he whispered the words into her ear had broken both the Doctor's hearts. He'd turned away and left her. It was all his doing and he had no right to grieve. After all, somewhere out there was another him who was living happily with the woman they both loved. And this way Rose could grow old with him, they could have a normal life. He tried to ignore the part of his brain that insisted that Rose had never wanted a normal life when she could share his life instead. Eventually she would've changed her mind. She would've wanted to settle down and live a normal life and she would've left him. Or worse, she would've died fighting for him. This way was better. This way she got to live. This way she got her happy ending.
As for him, well he'd just keep running. Running from all his own problems and fixing other people's problems when he encountered them. That was the life he'd chosen. That was the only life he knew. Flying through space and time in his TARDIS, his constant companion, that was the life for him. He stroked the TARDIS fondly as he landed in a new place. The controls had been set to random again, so he'd let the TARDIS choose his destination. With a last look around his empty TARDIS which had been full of life, full of people, so very recently, he walked towards the doors. Throwing the doors open he stepped into a new world, ready to face whatever might be out there. With any luck there'd be a whole lot more running involved.