This absolutely just had to be written. I couldn't contain it. Some of this is pure fiction...some are real events. I will leave it to you to decide which is which.

I dedicate this small blip to one of my best friends in the world, Lacym3. She's the true inspiration for this little bit of ridiculousness. Also to SweetT and Luvmesomejasper, because they both are two of my best friends, and well...it just fits with it. You'll see...

Song for this little ditty... Wild Horses by The Rolling Stones

Chelsea's POV

Yawning hugely, I finally rolled out of bed some time past nine. Heidi and I had done some drinking the night before. I hadn't seen her like that since New Years Eve, when she and I, Sulpicia and Renata had all gone out together. It was now a tradition, one that had brought us together.

I had met Heidi and Renata face-to-face on New Years Eve, after becoming friends on a social networking site. We had decided to meet up to celebrate together, and now it was just the thing we did. We met Sulpicia on the same site, but didn't get to meet her until later. Last New Years she joined our tradition, making it the most memorable night of my life. One where Sulpicia motor-boated a small, Mexican man; Heidi allowed the same guy to put his hand down her shirt, and Renata made out with each of us at the toll of midnight. We danced to Michael Jackson's Thriller and drank more martini's than can be remembered. We heckled our cab driver, because she was horrible, and overcharged us. The whole night was great, and I wouldn't trade my three closest friends for anything in the world.

The past few weeks had been basically a test of how strong and sane I was, as my fiancee, Felix, decided he had enough of my "shenanigans"- as he put it- and left. I was a mess, but it truly was nothing out of the ordinary. I always felt like a mess, but I always had my backup too, and the girls weren't just there for the fun times. We all have held each other together through terrible things. Failed relationships, deaths, sickness, depression, lost jobs. The list could go on forever, but the only thing that ever mattered was that our friendship would go on that long.

The biggest problem we faced in our friendships was that we lived far away from each other. If it was our choices, we would be together all the time, but as the situation was at present, we weren't. Heidi was the one closest to me, living only about two hours away. When I called her sobbing, she got in her car and came to get me. No questions asked. I needed a break from my life. She knew that without me even saying it. After loading me into her Dodge Charger and peeling out of my small town, she proceeded to talk to me about everything except what she had picked me up for.

I wasn't always the greatest at opening up, most of the time just bottling up the things I was feeling, and when I was ready, they would either explode in anger or release in a torrent of tears. She knew I would talk when I was ready, and if not, she was there with a shoulder and a good, stiff drink to take away the worries.

Which brought us to my ragged state this morning. I pulled my hair up into a messy bun and stumbled out of the guest room, intending to find coffee. And Heidi, to make sure she was alright. For some reason it always seemed like she managed to throw up whenever we were drinking. I laughed as I walked into the kitchen, the heavenly smell of coffee filling my senses.

Heidi was leaned over the counter, her head planted into the palms of her hands.

"Good morning, Sunshine," I laughed, making my way over to the refrigerator to pull out the French Vanilla creamer. The only reply I received was a groan, to which I had to bite my lip to hold back my mirth.

"You didn't puke, did you?"

She sighed and stood from her stooped position. "No," she answered sarcastically as she reached above her head and grabbed two coffee mugs out of the cabinet.

"I don't always throw up, you know?"

Laughing softly, I walked over beside her, placing the creamer down beside the mugs and rubbed her back.

"I know, but I am always going to check. I don't mean it in a teasing way. I just worry."

Her face changed from one of annoyance to understanding and care, and in an attempt to hide it from me, she began pouring our coffee into the mugs.

"If you say so, Chels."

We went about making our own cups of coffee silently, in the style we preferred. I knew Heidi's head must have been throbbing, because she popped two Ibuprofen and was rubbing her temple.

We made our way over to the dining room table, where we had both of our laptops sitting from the night before. We had been on a conference call with Sulpicia and Renata, laughing until late in the night with our friends about complete nonsense, but it was something we all did to connect with one another, since we were apart.

Heidi sipped quietly on her coffee as she fooled around on her computer. I was never quite as graceful with my morning beverage, and as I started up some soft music on my computer, I slurped down my first cup of coffee.

Heidi laughed as I got up to refill my mug, commenting on my caffeine addiction. I just shrugged it off and laughed too. I didn't play around with my morning cups of Joe.

While pouring some cream into my mug, Heidi let out what I can only describe as the most unladylike snort I'd ever heard. My brow raised high in question as I turned in her direction, taking my mug with me to the table.

"What was that for?"

Giggling hard, she replied, "I think I am being propositioned on Facebook."

It took everything I had in me not to spit my coffee all over my laptop. Coughing and spluttering, I looked at Heidi with wide eyes and swirled my fingers around, implying for her to continue. She shook her head at me and continued her giggle fit, turning her computer around for me to read.

EasyE:

ok...

hmm... well... here's the thing...

I'm going to be leaving for Washington at the end of the month... and I'm kind of looking for someone to have some fun with...

so not really looking for a relationship or anything like that... just want to get my groove on occasionally... y'know?

and I'm talking about the X-rated kind of fun... not the 4:20 kind... I just realized my use of the term "groove" might have thrown ya a little

would you or your friend be down for some of that?

HunterHeidi:

... Uh... Give me a second.

EasyE:

I know... it's a rather odd comment.

I'm sure that I looked like something out of Looney Tunes while reading, because Heidi's laughter only grew as she watched me. There weren't many words that I could form, mainly because not only was he trying to get her to meet up for an easy lay, but he was trying to get us both in on it.

I turned her computer back towards her, still completely in shock at what I'd just read. The nerve of a desperate and lonely man was obviously great.

"Who in the hell is EasyE?" I asked, finally coming out of my shock and laughing along with Heidi.

She shook her head, still chuckling. "His name is Edward. Other than that, I really don't know much. He says he lives here in Sacramento. He just friended me and started talking to me. How in the hell am I supposed to respond to that?"

"Do you want to meet up with him?" I asked, unsure of what her response would be. I knew that it had been a bit of a dry spell for Heidi, and maybe she would want to have some sort of one night stand to take out any sort of need she felt. I didn't want her to meet up with him, mainly because who in their right mind would just ask something like that? But, it was her choice, and if she wanted to, I would make sure to meet him and check him out beforehand.

"Fuck no!" she screeched, causing both of us to burst into another fit of laughter. After calming ourselves again, she went on, "But, it would be fun to mess with him."

I laughed and nodded my approval, watching over her shoulder as she continued her conversation with EasyE.

HunterHeidi:

Sure, why not.

EasyE:

ok.

what about her?

did you ask her already?

HunterHeidi:

Yeah... she's not... interested.

We exchanged looks as she typed, laughing at how presumptuous he was.

EasyE:

I'm still friends with my ex gf, Bella, but she was simply too much drama to do the friends-with- benefits thing, so I haven't been with her in months

that's fine

I know, it's kind of a sensitive... even taboo... subject.

how about tonight?

HunterHeidi:

How about after my friend goes home? That would be incredibly uncomfortable for her. So, next... Sunday night?

EasyE:

ok

well... I mean... we wouldn't have to try anything tonight... just didn't know if you wanted to hang out

maybe if she's there it would be more casual or easy-going for you? I don't know... just a thought

But if you'd rather wait, that's fine

HunterHeidi:

Yes, let's just... wait.

EasyE:

ok..

do you think maybe you and your friend could take a picture to send to me?

We busted out laughing as soon as the last line popped up in the text box, shaking our heads.

"How do I end this?"

Tapping my lip, I thought for a minute on how to respond. How exactly did we make our grand exit from this train wreck? Then, out of nowhere, it came to me. It was perfect, and would let him know exactly what we thought.

"Tell him we will send him a private message with a pic of us in a minute."

The look I received back was classic Heidi when she was with me. She knew me well enough to know I was up to no good, and it would be epically hilarious.

She nodded and responded back, letting him know what I had said, then opened the Photo Booth on her laptop so we could take a picture with her webcam.

I directed Heidi in exactly what we were going to be sending him, which was met with another bout of giggles. We positioned ourselves and took a photo of nothing but our two middle fingers raised in the notorious "Go to hell" sign, then loaded it up to Facebook and sent it right to EasyE.

The response was quick and painless, and only brought on an outbreak of gut-busting laughter.

EasyE:

Point taken. Fucking off now.