Santana's P.O.V.
"Shit, shit, shit" I muttered staring down at the little pink plus sign on my fourth pregnancy test. This can't be happening. No way in hell am I pregnant. I just can't be. It was one little one night stand. It didn't mean anything. One drunken night with that … uggh, I can't even think straight right now.
"Santana, you alright?" I hear my mother call from downstairs.
"I'm fine, mama," I yell back down even though I'm not. How can I be? I have a little human growing inside of me and I'm not even fit to be a parent. I don't know anything about kids. I hear the door open and the sound of my mama's footsteps behind me.
"You sure, mija?" She asks, placing a hand on my shoulder. I can't find my voice so I just nod. She looks over at the sink and sees the pregnancy tests. "Oh, mija," She says, pulling me closer to her. I just stay frozen in place as she rests her head on my shoulder. I put my hand over hers.
"Sorry, mama," I say. Life hasn't been the easiest. Papa is always away at work and mama sits here alone. My brother and sister went off to college. So that leaves me here alone, trying to keep everything in place. Money has been really tight lately. Papa isn't getting much work, but he is out there trying to earn money somehow.
"For what?" She asks, taking my face in her hands. She moves my head so I'm looking at her.
"For getting pregnant at 17," I say, quietly.
"Oh, these things happen. I had your sister at 17," Mama says, stroking my hair. I let a tear fall knowing she understands.
"Yeah but you and papa were in love," I say so quietly I think she can't hear me.
"You don't love the father of your baby," Mama asks, shock clear in her voice. I shake my head no, knowing she never quite accepted I was in love with Brittney.
"You remember Brittney, mama?" I ask, gently bringing it up. She nods.
"Oh baby. I know you think you love her, but I don't," She says into my hair. She's right. I think I love Brittney. I'm sure I do. "Mija, who is the father?" Mama asks slowly. I sigh, knowing I would have to accept it eventually.
"Puck," I say, hoping it was to quiet this time.
"Noah?" Mama asks and I nod. Her lips twitch upwards into a small smile. "He is a sweet boy when he wants to be. I always knew it would be you two," Mama says, obviously remembering the days when Puck and I were small.
"Mama, he doesn't love me and I don't love him. We were drunk at a party," I tell her, pulling away from her hold on me. Mama just sighs and shakes her head. She smiles at me before leaving me alone in the bathroom. I guess when we were small, mama got this idea I would end up with Puck. I don't see why.
I sigh and pull my phone out. I have to tell Brittney at some point. I quickly send her text that I'd be over at her house in five. I take a deep breath to calm my nerves and slowly make my way to the door. I make sure I tell mama where I'm going before I head out the door. Reminding myself I need to get this out of the way sooner rather then later.
It's a short drive to Brittney's. Or well, it feels like a short drive to Brittney's.
"Hey San!" Brittney calls as she opens the door.
"Hey Britt," I say as I make my way up her path. She lets me inside, bouncing with excitement that can only be described as Brittney. I smile as I sit down at her table.
"So what was so urgent you had to come over here right away?" She asks, running a hand through her blond hair. I sigh before getting the nerve to tell her.
"Well, I don't know what I'm going to do but I'm pregnant," I tell her. Her eyes widen with shock.
"What?" She asks. I just give her a look before burying my head in my arms. She puts a hand on my shoulder. "Oh Santana, its ok," She tries to soothe me.
"No its not. I'm pregnant with a kid that I'll probably be a horrible parent to. I might as well get an," I start to say before she cuts me off, "No Santana. That's killing an innocent life."
"I don't care," I tell her, looking up at her.
"Well I do. Besides, have you even told the father?" She asks. I shake my head no.
"God, Santana. Who is the father?" Brittney says.
"Wait, you're not even mad at the fact that I'm pregnant. I thought we," I said, motioning between us.
"That's the problem, Santana. I think. Its to much I think instead of I am. I just can't see us working out," Brittney says, quietly. She was giving me a sympathetic look.
"What? So what was this between us then?" I say, letting my attitude come out.
"Don't be a bitch right now Santana. I know you well enough to know you're hurt and scared about being pregnant. So don't change the subject and tell me who the baby daddy is," Brittney says, showing attitude as well. This is one thing I love about Brittney. No matter how stupid she may seem, she is actually quite smart one on one.
"It's Puck, ok?" I say, clenching my fists. How could I let that idiot get me pregnant? Sure, he's great with kids and all but still, is he ready to be a dad? Am I ready to be a mom? Hell no. Brittney blinks a couple of times and nods.
"Are you going to tell him?" Brittney asks, looking me straight in the eye. I just look at her. "Santana, you should at least tell him he got you pregnant. I know you aren't going to let me talk you out of an abortion but Puck has a right to know," She says. Does he really? I mean I'm the one who has to give birth. He just had to help create the kid.
"Why tell him?" I ask, leaning back in the chair.
"Because he is the dad and deserves to know that his kid will be killed," Brittney says.
"You're still going on about losing an innocent life?" I ask her.
"Yes because that's what abortion is. At least tell Puck. Give him a chance to know that he should at least use condoms," Brittney jokes, trying to lighten my mood.
"When you're drunk, you don't exactly care about condoms," I tell her. She just shakes her head.
"Where is Puck right now?" Brittney asks.
"I don't know. Probably screwing around with some chick," I say.
"No. Come on Santana. It's a good day today. Finn probably has him down at the school field with some friends and they're playing football," Brittney says.
"So?" I ask.
"Go tell him, or I'll tell him," Brittney warns.
"Should I really tell him?" I ask. Brittney just looks at me as if she were saying are you kidding me. "What?" I ask, shrugging. I know I should tell him but that is one conversation I'm not looking forward too. I really just don't want to tell him. I see why I should but that doesn't mean I will. It's not like it would hurt him much not to know.
I mean, look at the way he acted with Quinn. He'd be after me not to get an abortion. Knowing Puck, he'd succeed in convincing me not to get one too. I hate to admit it, but sometimes when that boy wants, he can talk me into just about anything.
"Because if you don't tell him, that is a bit like Quinn. Don't you think?" Brittney says. I look at her. "Well, she didn't tell Puck. She tried passing it off as Finn's. He found out anyway. What makes you think if you don't tell him that he won't find out? By not telling him, I see that as being like Quinn," She tells me.
God, I hate being compared to her. Everything I work hard to or try to be, Quinn gets or is. Oh god, and I'm pregnant with Puck. Just like Quinn. Are you fucking kidding me? How did I not see this before? And if I don't tell Puck, I'd be making another Quinn move. God, this fucking sucks.
"Fine. I'll tell him but understand he is not talking me out of anything. Whatever I decide is final," I tell her. Her eyes light up and she nods before she squeals. Then she leans over and hugs me.
"Think about it. If you keep the kid, I can be Aunt Brittney. Then I can watch all those cute little baby cartoons with them. Oh and we can go shopping. It will be so much fun. Don't you want to see what you could get for the kid?" Brittney asks, talking really fast.
"Brittney, slow down. I haven't made up my mind about what I'm doing yet," I tell her.
"You mean, you and Puck haven't decided what you're doing yet," She says. I just glare at her. She just shrugs it off. "Whether you accept it or not, the kid that is growing inside of your tummy," She says as she pats my tummy, "is half Puck's."
"Do I have to accept it?" I ask her.
"Come on, Santana. It would be the same with any guy," She tells me.
"I don't know, but did it have to be Puck who got me pregnant?" I ask, really only meaning to ask myself.
"Some things happen for a reason," Brittney says. I just shake me head. There really is no reason for this besides the fact Puck and I were stupid one night. Its not like I love Puck or anything. Sure, he is my friend and a really close friend. Almost like a best friend but that's it. A friend with benefits sometimes.
"Now get out of here, find Puck, and tell him," Brittney says, pushing me towards the door. I sigh and start walking towards the door.
"Thanks Britt," I tell her as I leave. She squeezes my hand and wishes me luck. I'll surely need it to help talk to Puck. He's a great listener and all but I this is not the kind of news you can just say. Its not like I can go, "Hey Puck, I'm pregnant. You're the father. How's your day?"
I sigh as I get into my car. Noah Puckerman, you better be at the football field. If you're not, then you'll never know what I have to tell you. Probably because I'll lose my nerve to tell you by the time I find you or because I just feel bitchy enough to not tell you even though I told Brittney I would tell you.
I start driving towards the field. I wonder if Puck is still with tubby. If he is, would he really care about the baby? If he is, maybe I can talk him into letting me get an abortion. Well, if I want one that is. Sure, it's a choice. But do I really want to kill it? Sure, if I give it away, I'll just get fat and have to work off the pounds. I wouldn't have to do that with an abortion. But with an abortion, I'm killing a person before they get a chance to live. Is that really worth is?
I quickly park my car, seeing a bunch of other cars here too. Including one Noah Puckerman's old beat up pick up truck. Well, here goes nothing. I pull on my shirt and straighten out a wrinkle in my jeans. Its now or never. I force my feet to walk. One foot in front of the other. Step by step. Just take little baby steps. Ok, so maybe that's not the best thing to be thinking about in this situation.
I pick up the pace and start walking faster to the field. I can hear shouts from the guys on the field. They were playing football. Finn, Puck, and a bunch of other guys who I can't quite make out as they play. I make my way to the bleachers. The bleachers that Puck and I made out under countless times. I take a seat in the middle. I can wait for them to finish their game. I'm not in to much of a hurry. Mama isn't expecting me home for quite sometimes.
Besides this gives me sometime to compose myself before I talk to him. If I don't bail before then that is. I sigh and rest my head in my hands. God, I don't feel like myself. I haven't since I realized my period was two weeks late. Especially not since that first pregnancy test. And definitely not since the last one. Santana Lopez might be feeling a bit of pregnancy hormones at this very moment and it is absolutely driving her nuts!
A/N Sorry if any of the characters are out of character but I've only seen the show a couple of times. I wrote this for my friend who is absolutely in love with glee. Let me know if I should continue this or not. Read, review, enjoy!