Disclaimer - I don't own the characters or world. Obviously.
A/N - In my post-a-thon of all the fic I've written and not posted, this is one I'm rather proud of and have only edited a little bit for posting. I'm awful at titles! So if anyone has a better one, please tell me! I'm not sure how old it is, so please enjoy and review! I have more Lily fic.
Piano Keys and Dust-Motes
Lily wasn't one to cry. Never had been really, it just didn't seem to achieve anything. But as she left the hospital wing on Friday night, she felt very, very close to tears indeed.
She walked slowly trying to steady her breathing, and her nerves. She had made the conscious decision to go off somewhere and seclude herself for a cry - just in case, you know – before she saw James. Poor James, he had enough to deal what with Remus being so ill and all, it wouldn't do for her to break down on him. But as she wandered the halls, deciding on a suitably deserted spot, she heard a faint ringing echoing off the stones. Following it, the sound became more musical, defining itself into notes which formed a mournful tune.
Lily thought she almost recognised the music as she drifted to a halt in front a door where the music seemed loudest. She was almost certain it was a piano, which meant someone was playing it…would it be rude, or intruding, to open the door and listen closer? She pushed the door hesitantly, and peered through. From this angle, all she could see of the player was his fingers, gliding and darting along the ivory keys. Lily slipped through the door into the dusty room and gasped.
At the noise, the player stopped with a jerk and the wrong note. And there, turning to look in horror at her discovery of his hideout, was Sirius Black.
"Don't stop…" Lily blurted out quickly. "I mean…er…it was lovely, very…sad," she mumbled, feeling her face flush with embarrassment, as his did the same. It was odd, seeing Sirius Black embarrassed and bright red, as if walking around for a day and a half with no hair or eyebrows and a bright green face couldn't manage, surely walking in on him playing the piano wouldn't.
"I…er…" Sirius made a noise at the back of his throat.
"Please…" said Lily, indicating the piano, "Carry on. I'll…er…just be going."
"No! Wait." Sirius cried suddenly. "I mean, if you want to listen…that's ok," he said. Nothing else, no jibes or egotistical comments about wooing anyone with his talents, or snide comments about it 'just being a dumb piano anyway'.
Lily stopped, and nodded. She sat, hesitantly at first, on a chair near the piano, just in Sirius line of sight as his fingers once again took up their dance upon the ivory.
She only listened at first, keeping her eyes carefully away from Sirius, on the ceiling, or a speck of floating dust or the piano keys. The tune he played was sad, and rather mournful but he didn't seem to continue with it for long, jumping from song to song as, she presumed, the feeling took him. As she relaxed, she studied Sirius himself more closely; the active movements of his shoulders and elbows as they led his fingers in their art, the expression on his face as he hit a particularly low and sad area of music, or animated and elated as he tapped out a more upbeat piece. Even his feet and legs contributed to the mood of whatever piece he was playing from, if it was a piece at all. Lily suspected, after a while, that Sirius was just creating something beautiful from his imagination as his thoughts wandered.
Suddenly, after a particularly melancholy crescendo, all sound seemed to drop away from the little dust filled room, leaving in its wake a timid, almost faltering tinkle of high notes, played solely with the right hand and a few clever tricks of the fingers.
"Can you play?" Sirius asked without pausing in his riff.
Lily shook her head. "No. Not at all. I learnt the recorder at primary school," she offered lamely. "I wanted to try the flute, but it's supposed to be easier if you learn the piano first and I never had the patience," she admitted.
"I love music," said Sirius, still not looking at her. His eyes were closed and the tiniest of frowns creased the skin between his eyebrows.
"Me too. I can sing…a bit. But I wish I could create something a beautiful as that." Lily almost shocked herself with her candour. Never had she been so open and honest with Sirius Black before. And Sirius Black, so dashing and dangerous, unpredictable and flighty, so arrogant and self absorbed, was being just as honest and vulnerable with her.
"You can!" he blurted. "Anyone can!" Suddenly his fingers stopped and wrapped themselves around her upper arms. He manoeuvred her into place next to him on the stool. "Here," he said, and took her hand. Gently, using her fingers as his keys as they rested on top of the ivory ones, he played a little tune. "Now you try…" he said as he released her hand.
Hesistantly, she tried to remember the order of the keys he pressed. The first three notes were fine, but the fourth sounded off. She jerked her hand back quickly, afraid he would scold her as if she'd hurt the beautiful instrument.
"Don't worry," he said and smiled. It wasn't one of those dashing, flash-of-the-eyeteeth smiles he used to make girls swoon, but a kinder one which barely moved his cheeks, just his lips into a soft curve. "See, you heard that that note sounded wrong? You have a natural ear….just keep pressing the keys until you have a sequence you like…" he explained, and played the tune for her again.
This time, she watched his fingers closely, mentally memorising the sound which went with each key. When she tried it, she hit each note in right order, even to the correct tempo, but it sounded flat. She frowned.
"You're thinking too much," said Sirius. "Just relax and let the piano do the work. Don't think about every note so technically."
Had he been able to see that just from her face? Or her fingers?
She tried again, letting all the thoughts about which key next, and when fall away. She was sure her fingers hit two keys at the same time, but it didn't sound bad…just emotional. When the sound of the last note faded, she felt almost as if her fingers wanted to carry on. She stopped suddenly, and breathed in sharply. She'd almost forgotten about why she'd stumbled upon this room, she'd very nearly forgotten Remus and James, and even Sirius who was sitting next to her, just to concentrate completely on the music around her. Music she'd created. She turned to look at Sirius. His face was open and smiling freely.
"See, there you go."
She was so taken back by the unguarded expression on his face; her lips said the words without any sort of journey via her brain. "Will you teach me?"
It was Sirius' turn to look shocked at this, but nodded regardless. "Yeah…sure," he paused, "um…I come up here, most days. Quite often before I see Remus, or afterwards."
She nodded, suddenly uncomfortable without the sound of the piano. There was a long pause in which Lily pondered what had just happened.
"You're missing him aren't you?" she said softly.
"Well, yeah. He's my best mate, int he. I'm all on my tod half the time, what with Peter off doing his bloody remedial Charms and James gallivanting about with you at all hours of the day." He said it with a smile, for all the things Sirius might be he wasn't jealous of James' relationship with Lily, at all. Peter had been, at first, for about a week. Sirius claimed he enjoyed the break form James' constant moping after her, and after a certain amount of persuasion from Remus, with whom she'd long since been friends, Sirius had to admit she wasn't all that terrible to hang around with.
She laughed and said "We don't gallivant!"
"No…you frolick!"
She smacked him on the arm, still laughing. He chuckled, and their laughter petered out. Idly, his fingers played with the keys, in no particular pattern making up a small tune.
"I miss him," said Sirius after a while. He said it so quietly, so softly that Lily barely heard him.
"He will get better, Sirius." Lily said reassuringly, with more confidence than she currently felt.
"I know." His right hand continued to toy with the piano, and he chewed on his left thumb nail. "I know he's only just down in the hospital wing but…" he trailed off, hand stilling on the piano keys. For a long moment he stared in the distance, eyes glazed, before giving himself an abrupt shake and breaking the peaceful stillness.
"Right," he said, "well, I suppose I better go see Moony then…"
Lily nodded, "I 'spose I better go finish that Potions essay, James will be wondering where I am."
"Later Evans," said Sirius and left with a grin and a wink, no trace of the quiet and pensive boy he'd just been.
Lily watched him go, and stood next to the piano for a moment, staring at the seat Sirius'd just vacated. The better she knew him, the more Sirius Black was turning into an enigma. Brash, loud and obnoxious he may usually be, but Sirius Black was apparently a piano-playing romantic at heart. There was definitely something more to Sirius Black.