Author's Notes: This plot idea came about from several character analyzing thoughts I've had since re-reading and re-watching the HP series recently.
I always thought it a bit, well, odd that Harry ended up with a near clone of his mother (Ginny) in canon. That just didn't sit quite well with me. It's a little too close to Oedipal for my liking. Then I added to that the chemistry between Harry and Hermione in the movies (lol totally Daniel Radcliffe & Emma Watson's fault, they were amazing!) which had me totally shipping Hermione/Harry starting around their time turner adventure in PoA and not seeing the Ginny/Harry thing at all (though I will admit that this was much better represented in the books).
I also thought about Ginny's appearance and personality and how it would have affected Snape, Remus, and Sirius- three men who had known a young Lily. You'll never convince me that Remus and Sirius didn't call Ginny "Lily" at least once during the time they were all cloistered at Grimmauld Place.
And picture Professor Snape seeing little Ginny among the first years to be sorted, there's zero chance that that didn't evoke memories of Lily in him. It would have evoked even more memories and hurtful emotions as she grew up and became a strong, confident young woman involved with a James Potter clone. To be clear, I'm saying Professor Snape would have been reminded of Lily in all this, not that he had a thing for child-Ginny. But it begged the question to me: had Severus been classmates with Ginny, might he have been attracted to her as well as Lily? Does he have a "type"?
All of those random things spun up into the odd fluffy plot bunny which resulted in this story. It will be canon-adherent through the end of DH, but I'm kicking the Epilogue and the canon Ron/Hermione thing to the curb (there won't be Ron bashing, just no Hermione romance for him). I also took a little creative license with the time line of when Hogwarts would have reopened- I find it hard to believe, even with magic, that it would have only taken a few months to repair it all so I have it reopening not September of '98 but a year later in September of '99, giving them a year and a few months to rebuild.
I should note that I'm also a sucker for second-chance-at-romance stories and the de-aging trope and for those that have read other works by me, you know that I am hopelessly addicted to things ending happily ever after, even if I put them through the wringer on the way to getting there. Emails/comments welcome on these ideas, I love having fun discussions about characters and all our individual interpretations. -CJ aka WritinginCT
Where You Find Love
May 4th, 1999
Ginny entered the kitchen looking more than a little wind-blown as she had been outside on her broom practicing Quidditch maneuvers for hours. Her father was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of tea in front of him. He had gotten called to the Ministry in the middle of the night two days ago and hadn't been home since. She got herself a glass of water and regarded her father as she sat down across from him, noting the serious set to his normally jocular face. "Dad? Everything alright?"
He put a finger to his lips to indicate she should be quiet. "Something happened at the Ministry. We have a sleeping visitor on the couch," he whispered.
"Who, Dad?" she asked quietly, confused.
Her father smiled at her a moment before he answered. "Severus Snape."
Ginny blinked. "Dad?" she asked, not believing what he said.
"They found him on the the floor of the Department of Mysteries, near the Arch at midnight on the anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts. The Veil pushed him back out. He's the seventh one since the war ended, just like your brother."
Ginny understood instantly, Fred had been the first of now seven people to be returned from beyond the Veil. Her brother's miraculous return a mere three days after Harry killed Voldemort was still not completely understood. He was definitely Fred, twin to George and eternal prankster, but the department of Mysteries had no idea why or how he was returned. The grieving Weasley family hadn't cared and the returned Fred was slotted back into the family as if he had never been dead.
Ginny and the remains of the Order had first been informed of the Veil's abnormal behavior when Fred had been sent back to the land of the living and subsequently updated with each person the Veil chose to return to the land of the living. The Department of Mysteries was at a total loss as to why it was happening. What was even more peculiar was that, save for Fred who returned the same handsome young man he went in as, those returned were not returned at the age they were when they crossed the Veil in death,. All the rest were all far younger, ranging in age from a cranky year old toddler Charity Burbage to an absolutely adorable ten-year old Cedric Diggory. It was puzzling and no one knew what to think, but the families of those returned where obviously overjoyed and all had been welcomed back with open, loving arms.
From the information that had come out about Snape after the war, Ginny knew he had no living relatives, and no wife or children of his own. She wondered if that explained why he was now sleeping on their couch. Was the Snape returned very young, unable to care for himself? She asked curiously, "How old is he, Dad?"
Her father continued sadly, "Your age. According to his memories he's supposed to be starting his last year at Hogwarts. He had no idea about the War or anything that's happened. We gave him a condensed version of what'd happened since. He knows about Lily and Harry and Voldemort and the basics of his role in the war. He's terribly confused and… completely alone in this world, Ginny, completely alone. Not to mention he's as physically exhausted as the rest were when they came back." The others, including Fred, had slept more than they were awake the first week or so they were back. Arthur sipped his tea then added, "He deserved a safe place to rest his head while everything is sorted out. So I brought him home. Mum's run out to get him some clothes and things."
Her thoughts ran through a slide show of her former-Professor-cum-Headmaster. He had been a harsh taskmaster in both positions. Demanding, unforgiving, and intimidating were the words that rattled around Ginny's head as she thought of Severus Snape. She had had little pity or compassion for him as his student, but like everyone else, she had learned he had been protecting them all, that information coming out after the war and his death. Her thoughts of him were conflicted to say the least and she wasn't exactly sure of how she felt with her father bringing home a stray younger version of Snape.
Ginny's brow furrowed at her father's obvious emotion. The news of Snape's role in the war had affected her father greatly. Arthur had held so much hate in his heart for Snape and it hadn't been easy for the gentle man to forgive himself for it when Snape's true role in the war and Dumbledore's death was revealed. She wondered if this was a way for her father to make peace with himself.
"We'll take take of him, Dad," she promised, for her father, not for Snape she told herself.
Her father had asked her to show Severus around the Burrow and to make him feel welcome and her conflicted thoughts lasted only as long as it took for Ginny to get from the Burrow's kitchen to the living room where Severus Snape was sound asleep on the couch.
The bone-thin teenager curled in a fetal position under one of her mother's knitted afghans made Ginny pause. This was not Professor Snape, the most reviled and feared Hogwarts' teacher in recent decades who always loomed larger than life, instead he rather looked a bit like Harry had when he he would come to the Burrow before the start of school term in the past: skinny, unloved, and a bit afraid.
Ginny stood quietly in the doorway for a long time, just looking at the sharp lines of Severus' face.
His eyes opened slowly, as if he felt her staring at him. He sat up groggily and blinked. "Lily?" he whispered hoarsely, hopefully.
Ginny smiled gently and shook her head sadly. "Ginny."
"Sorry," he mumbled and scrubbed his face with his hands.
"Do I really look like her? You're not the first to call me by her name," Ginny said gently, remembering two separate instances at Grimmauld Place where both Remus and Sirius had called her Lily.
Severus nodded but didn't say anything further and she didn't prod at it knowing it was likely to upset him, the grief of Lily's death brand new and fresh to him and no matter how much she didn't like Professor Snape she would never use his grief to hurt him, especially since it was his love for Lily that had made him protect Harry and the rest of them for so long.
She did wonder now though if her appearance was one of the reasons Professor Snape had always seemed uncomfortable around her in the past. Had she been a doppelgänger to the woman he had so loved and lost and been a constant source of pain to him?
"Dad asked me to show you around a little, I guess you're going to stay with us for a while."
Severus stood and very neatly refolded the afghan and respectfully put it on the back of the couch. He turned back towards her and said, "They are arranging for me to go back to Hogwarts for my seventh year so I can sit my NEWTs. Your father offered that I could stay here until the school term started."
"I'm going back for my last year as well now that they've finished repairing Hogwarts. We'll probably have classes together. C'mon upstairs, I'll give you the grand tour. Mum will be back in a bit and we'll have supper."
He nodded and followed her up the stairs.
Ginny showed Severus the twin's old room. It was a riot of colors and Quidditch and Weird Sisters posters. The two beds had cheerful patchwork quilts that Molly had lovingly pieced and there was a fat feather pillow on each one. While not extravagant, it was easy to see that the beds were clean and comfortable and there was a hint of citrus cleaner in the air. It was far, far different than his dingy, threadbare room at his parent's flat in Spinner's End.
"This is probably the best room to put you in. My twin brothers, Fred and George, have their own flat above their store so they don't stay here often anymore. They just floo over when they need to."
Severus ran his fingers over the colorful quilt on the bed closest to him. It was easy to see that the Weasleys didn't have a lot of money but even though they were poor, their home was clean, warm and welcoming. And that they would take in a stray and open up their home to him spoke volumes about them as people. It was a little overwhelming to Severus if he were honest, never in his life had he been made to feel welcome anywhere, and yet here he was.
Ginny plunked down on the bed opposite the one where Severus stood by. She looked around and laughed. "Merlin, do they have awful taste in Quidditch teams."
Severus sat on the other bed and asked, "Which team do you like?"
She smiled and Severus was again taken aback as to how much she looked like Lily. "The Holyfield Harpies."
"That's the all women's team isn't it? Or at least that's how I know it."
"Yeah, still is. I'd love to play for them. I hope we're able to have Quidditch teams this year at Hogwarts. It would be fantastic to be scouted by them and maybe be offered a tryout."
"Is that what you want to do after Hogwarts?" he asked idly.
She nodded. "Yeah. It's been my dream since I've been about five years old, actually."
"Do your parents support your endeavor?"
"Mum and dad always said that they didn't care what we did so long as it was something that would let us hold our heads up with pride, and, you, know, feed ourselves. What about you? What do you want to do after Hogwarts?"
"I… don't know. Obviously the world is a different place now then before and my original plans will no longer fit."
Ginny glanced down at his bare forearm, the one that would have borne the Dark Mark on the Snape that went into the Veil. Severus saw the direction of her glance and frowned.
Softly, and without meeting her eyes, he asked, "You know about that?"
"Yeah."
"And your parents do as well?"
"Yes. Most of the wizarding world knows that y… the older you had taken the Mark right out of Hogwarts."
"I thought it a way to be accepted, to become strong and powerful. I have nothing now."
"You're wrong," Ginny said quietly and he looked up to meet her eyes finally, "you've got a second chance. You can do anything you want, be anything you want. You don't have to be like him. Don't have to make his choices."
Severus stared at her for a long moment, almost forgetting that he wasn't having conversation with Lily, they were uncannily similar. There was an earnestness in Ginny's eyes that made him believe for just a moment that she was right.
He nodded and said, "So long as it's something that will let me hold my head up with pride and feed myself."
Ginny smiled. "Now you've got it."
He looked around the room, the well-worn, well-lived in room and felt an odd sense of peace.
Ginny stood and said lightly, "C'mon I'll show you the rest."
By the time Molly had returned from her shopping trip to Diagon Alley Ginny had shown Severus all the ins and outs of the Burrow.
They were sitting at the kitchen table with tea when Molly arrived back through the Floo with a slew of bags and packages.
She smiled seeing the two teenagers sitting together. "Oh, good, have you shown Severus around a bit, Ginny?"
Ginny nodded, "Yes, Mum. I think the twins' room is the best for him."
"Perfect." Molly said as she put the bags down on the table, then asked, "Where's your father?"
"He went to lay down for a while."
"Good. He hasn't gotten much sleep the past few nights," Molly replied. As she put down the last of her purchases she looked at Severus and smiled. "You look better than you did earlier, were you able to get a nap?"
"Yes, ma'am," Severus answered, not quite knowing how to take her concern for his wellbeing.
"A little sleep and a hot meal and you'll be right as rain in no time. I was able to get you some clothes and things," she replied and gestured towards her purchases, "I'm pretty good at judging a young man's sizes having raised six boys, but do let me know if I got something wrong so we can swap it out. Now why don't you two take these upstairs and I'll get dinner started?"
"Sure, Mum," Ginny said as she rose and picked up a couple of the bags. Severus followed suit and grabbed the rest. He followed Ginny out of the room but paused at the door and said, "Mrs. Weasley?"
"Yes, dear?" she replied from where she was digging in the potato bin.
"Thank you," he said softly with a distinct lack of self confidence.
Molly stood and turned towards him. She saw a very unsure, very lost young man, a young man with only the faintest resemblance to the hardened, solitary man who had taught all of her children and she had known for years. She smiled warmly and replied, "You're very welcome, Severus. Now scoot, I've got shepherd's pie to make."
He nodded and headed upstairs.
Ginny had started digging through the bags she had dumped on one of the beds in the room he was now to call his own.
She put things in neat piles- shirts, socks, trousers, and all the other things her mother had purchased for him.
Severus added the remainder of the bags to the bed and also began looking through them. He was taken aback by all that had been purchased for him. It was all too much. He doubted that the Weasley's could well afford to have spent so much on a stranger. He couldn't even begin to imagine how to repay them. He wondered quickly if he could find some sort of work nearby until he started back at Hogwarts.
His hands ran over the pile of crisp, white undershirts. He wasn't an expert by any means, but he didn't think they were they were of the highest quality. They were however, brand-new, appropriately sized, and brilliantly clean. He had never had brand-new clothing before of any quality, his mother buying all his things at second-hand shops and community jumble sales his whole life, even his underwear. Underwear that was often so old and grey that not even the Hogwarts' house elves could get them white again. His clothing had been the subject of so much ridicule his whole life that he had forced himself to pretend not to care even though the shame burned brightly on the inside. But here in this place, kindhearted Mrs. Weasley had bought him brand-new clothes, clothes no one else had ever had on their bodies, clothes that had no patches or unidentifiable stains. No these were clothes he could be unashamed to wear, clothes that could almost make him think someone actually cared about him. It was a bit overwhelming to his exhausted mind and body.
He didn't realize how long he had been lost in his thoughts as he stood there with an undershirt in his hands until Ginny laid a gentle hand on his arm and asked with concern, "Are you alright? Did Mum get something wrong? We can exchange things if you like."
Snapping back he instinctively clutched the undershirt to him and said quickly, "No!"
"Ok," she replied softly, as if she realized that there was something else going on in his head.
He turned to her and met her eyes. "I'm sorry. I was just thinking about the past."
Ginny nodded. "I understand."
"I… didn't expect your mother to buy me so many things. And they are all… new."
She regarded him for a long moment, studying him. He wanted to turn away, and desperately wanted her to turn away. He didn't want her to see the emotions he had stirring just beneath the surface, and certainly didn't want her pity if she sussed out the cause on her own.
But he couldn't turn away, her resemblance to Lily was too great, and out of everyone he ever knew, Lily had been the only one he had allowed to ever see him vulnerable. She was the only one to never make him ashamed of his being poor and unloved at home, she had quite purposely overlooked it, in fact. And when his level of poverty had reared itself in her presence, it had always been understanding and compassion in her eyes, not ridicule or pity. He wondered if this girl before him who could be Lily's twin would be the same or if he should brace himself for hurtful biting words.
In the end Ginny's eyes screamed of understanding and her expression kind but far from pitying. Gently she said, "Most of my brothers never had new things growing up. Mum saved all their clothes and kept passing them down and around until they finally fell apart. I think that's why she started the tradition of knitting everyone a jumper for Christmas, that way everyone always had at least one new thing."
His relief at her reaction washed over him and thoroughly surprised him. He found himself not quite knowing what to say.
Ginny reached over and have his arm a little squeeze and said with a little grin, "I'm going to go help Mum with supper. I let you put your things away."
He nodded and she left the room without another word.
The grin on Ginny's face dropped the moment the door closed behind her in the hallway. The way Severus had reacted to new clothes of all things bothered her. She was willing to bet by his actions that he had never had new clothes in his whole life. Odd really, given that he was an only child, but she was all but certain of it.
And as she walked down the stairs she wondered just how bad the rest of Severus' home life had been that no one knew about?
More and more the foul tempered nature of Professor Snape was starting to make sense to her. And while there was nothing she could do to erase Severus' past, she could certainly do her best to make sure that he was treated kindly and with respect now and perhaps he would avoid becoming as hard and cold a person as his old self was.
As she reached the bottom step Ginny plastered on a fake smile and went into the kitchen to help her mother finish supper.
After Ginny left the room he placed the undershirt down on the pile of its counterparts and picked up a pair of dark brown corduroy trousers. He held them up to himself and grinned, Mrs. Weasley was indeed good at guessing sizes, they would fit perfectly.
He quickly went through the rest of the clothes and put them away neatly in the dresser drawers, leaving himself out a change of underclothes, the corduroy trousers, and a dark green pull-over shirt.
He arranged the toiletries Mrs. Weasley had gotten on the top of the dresser, noting that they were all geared towards the male population and as he did he wondered idly if they were the brands her sons used.
He made short work out of washing up in the bathroom before changing his clothes and heading downstairs to supper.
Severus entered the kitchen quietly, not knowing at all what to expect.
Ginny was in the middle of setting the table for four and he breathed a little sigh of relief that he wouldn't have to deal with any more new people for one day.
Molly was pulling a large shepherd's pie out of the oven and Arthur was slicing a fresh loaf of bread. The kitchen smelled wonderful and it made Severus' stomach growl.
Molly noticed him standing hesitantly in the doorway first and smiled warmly at him. "Ah, Severus, there you are. I hope you're hungry."
He nodded and stepped further into the kitchen.
Ginny smiled at him and said lightly, "Looks like Mum was spot on with sizes."
Severus looked down at his clothes, his simple, middling quality trousers and pullover that most people wouldn't think twice about, and the corners of his mouth curled up slightly of their own accord. He met Ginny's eyes and nodded.
Molly put the shepherd's pie on the table and smiled widely at Severus. "Everything the right size?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"Good, good. Glad I haven't lost my touch. Now everyone sit, eat. I've got an apple tart for dessert later."
Severus sat at the spot she gestured to next to Ginny and his eyes grew wide at the immense, heaping portion of shepherd's pie Molly dished out onto his plate. He waited politely until she had served everyone then picked up his fork and began eating what was without a doubt the best shepherd's pie he had ever tasted. As the flavors exploded on his tongue and its warmth filled his stomach he realized that it was even better than the house elf prepared version served in the Great Hall at Hogwarts. He took a chance and told Molly so.
Softly he said, "This is the best shepherd's pie I've ever had."
Molly beamed a wide smile back at him. "Thank you, Severus, it's always a family pleaser. Now eat up, there's plenty for seconds."
Ginny laughed and teased her mother. "And lunch tomorrow and the next day, Mum."
Arthur sipped his cider and said to Severus, "My wife is used to cooking for a much larger crowd having had seven children."
Severus blinked and tried to picture the long table full of happy Weasleys, he looked to Ginny and said, "I can't imagine having that many siblings."
Ginny grinned as she chewed happily on her bread and butter.
Arthur chuckled. "Needless to say that dinner with the whole family is a fairly boisterous affair. We thought it best to keep things small for a bit while you get settled."
Severus didn't know what to say to that so he merely nodded and tucked back into his shepherd's pie.
A long, leisurely dinner later where Severus had eaten two enormous portions of shepherd's pie, three thick slices of bread slathered with freshly made butter, and a big piece of warm apple tart drizzled with honey, he found himself very sleepy.
He forced himself to stand and was going to help clear the table when Mrs. Weasley shooed him off. "Don't even think about it, young man, I can see your eyelids drooping. Your bed is calling you and you need to sleep. Now if you wake up needing a snack, there's a bowl of apples there and biscuits in the tin, you can help yourself."
He looked to Mr. Weasley who was in complete agreement with his wife. "Get some rest, Severus. Tomorrow is another day."
Severus paused, still very unsure how to take their caring attitudes. "Thank you, for dinner… and for letting me stay here."
Mr. Weasley gave him a little grin. "You are most welcome in this house, Severus. Most welcome."
Severus nodded and took his sleepy self off to bed.
Severus left on his undershirt but changed into the flannel pajama bottoms Mrs. Weasley had gotten him. They fit perfectly just as everything else had. He meticulously folded his trousers and pullover and put them back in the dresser to wear again the next day.
He pulled back the quilt on one of the beds and climbed in. The linens on the bed held the faint hint of lavender and were soft and well worn- comforting by any other name. He couldn't explain it if he had to, but he felt safe here in the Weasley's home. There would be no drunk father to pull him from this bed in the middle of the night and use him for a punching bag nor did he have to be on guard from school dorm mates he never quite trusted, he could just sleep.
Even as tired as he was his brain was spinning. He was still trying to process that he had come back from the dead and that over twenty years had past and all that had happened in the interim. As if all that weren't confusing enough, he did not know how to deal with all the emotions the simple kindnesses the Weasleys were showing him elicited. Only Madame Pomfrey had ever shown him such compassion.
As he relaxed into bed he realized with a start that he wasn't hungry. He had always been hungry when he was home and away from the plentiful tables of the Hogwarts' Great Hall. He couldn't remember a time when he hadn't gone to bed hungry in his dank bedroom in Spinner's End.
A corner of his mouth curled up when he thought to himself that Mrs. Weasley would probably take it as a personal insult if anyone sleeping under her roof went to bed hungry. She was nothing like his own mother who was a worn-down, bitter, abused woman who hadn't cared if his father was beating him because it meant that his father wasn't beating her. He had longed for his independence from them for so long and now they were both gone- his mother dead by his father's hand and his father for mouthing off to the wrong person while imprisoned for her murder. He felt only relief when he had been told about their deaths yesterday and that he wouldn't ever have to be subjected to them again.
His parents were dead. Lily was dead. The Dark Lord was dead. The Marauders were dead. The wizarding world was slowly rebuilding itself after the war. He was going to be able to go back to Hogwarts in the fall to finish school. After that his life was completely his own. And while that thought was heady in and of itself, he also had no plan and needed to sort out where he thought his life should go in this new future.
As he faded into sleep he thought to himself that just maybe it really could be anything he wanted… so long as he could hold his head up with pride and feed himself.
tbc...