Yeah, so I did it, and so soon after saying so... I thought it would be a good idea – even if it is not completely original. Oh well!

This is the continuation of Stupid but there is also another important thing: the events of Not Much of A Father have occurred in this story's universe. So that means Lulu has told Paine that Auron isher father. Whether everyone else knows that little fact, I have not decided – although it is safe to assume that Paine has told Baralai. This may or may not be an important part of this story.

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Full Summary:

When Paine collapses from stress on the way Baralai's wedding reception she is forced to confess the facts about their affair to a certain black mage. Lulu, in turn, confesses something to Paine that the warrior would rather forget. Realizing that this could cost the young woman her life, the two decide – against Lulu's better judgment – that no one has to know. Not even Baralai...

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"By the power invested in me by the order of New Yevon..."

His eyes met mine, and I gave a nod and a warm smile. Fake. My heart was breaking inside. His frown only made me feel worse... He was not happy. He was hurting. And I was sitting here, just sitting here, and doing nothing about it. I just sat, and smiled. I had done so through the entire wedding... I had not spoken up for what I believed was be right. He had told me not to, but I had insisted that I should. I knew that "Don't" meant "I would die if you don't..." I knew that... But I still did not stand, I did not say, "I object to this! This is stupid, this is not right! I love this man, and I want to be with him! Let me marry him...!"

Why hadn't I done it? It was simply because I was scared. I was scared of what Spira would think of me, what Yuna and Rikku would think of me, what Gippal and Nooj and Tidus, and Wakka and Lulu would think of me... I was afraid of what the New Yevon guards would do to me. If I had confessed to my affair with the Praetor, if I yelled in front of everyone that the two of us were having an affair, and that we had dated behind their backs...

What if was to scream that the Praetor was my boyfriend? Would Spira laugh at me? Would they think I was insane? Would they think that I was lying about it? And if they did... would he stand up for me? I was afraid. There had been too many questions and too much doubt.

My fear had condemned my love.

He stared at me still. His eyes were not fixed on anyone or anything except me. I continued to smile weakly back at him. But I know he saw the tear in my eye, and I know he saw it fall. No one else noticed. He always noticed things about me that no one else did...

"...I now pronounce you husband and wife."

I looked away from him, folding my arms across my lap and biting my lip. Rikku was sitting next to me in the pew, crying. Yuna and she were so happy for the couple. I tried not to think about it. I tried to focus my thoughts on last night. How happy Baralai and I were last night, together. Alone... How I had leaned against his shoulder while he leaned against the headboard, and we had talked. We talked while he ran a hand absentmindedly though my hair. We had talked about nicer things than the wedding, things that made us happy. Then he had asked me to tell him everything that was bothering me... So I did. I asked him for the first time, "Why did you take that kiss further, 'Lai...? Why did you do it? Did you love me, even back then?"

"No," was his reply. It was the one that I had been expecting. "No, I didn't think I loved anyone back then. I may have, maybe, had a little crush on Yuna... maybe... You though... I loved you like you were my sister, and my best friend. But I was so depressed, and upset, and no one would seem to comfort me, because they all thought that I was happy. I could not tell anyone the truth... Then you came to my office, and demanded an explanation. You had known that the engagement was a hoax. You had known instantly that there was something fishy going on and you had demanded that I tell you what was happening. When I did... That look on your face... You were concerned for me. You were hurting... for me... 'I-I'm... sorry,' you said. I was so taken aback by it... I had always suspected, but never known, how much you really cared about people – about me, Paine...

Then you hugged me around my shoulders... Had you ever even done that to anyone before? When you took my face in your hands, I felt like such a child! You wiped my tears away... You told me that everything would turn out fine, and that you would always be there for me. When you kissed me, Paine... Just that little sign of how much you cared... I guess my insides simply exploded. I knew that there was something between you and I that was not friendship – maybe it had always been there, or maybe it had not... I may not have fallen in love with you that night, but sometime in between then and now... I knew that you would always be there for me, and that I always wanted to be there for you. I wanted you to be the one I woke up to every morning, and not just a friend whose company I enjoyed. I wanted you to be that special person with whom I would spend forever with..."

What better explanation was there? I had smiled and kissed his collar bone after he had finished. Then he had asked me about the first time that I felt I was in love with him. I told him. "Every time I tried to walk away... Every night that I woke up in the middle of the night and thought about how terrible our relationship was... When I stood and tried to dress so that I could leave... I could never do it. I always looked back at you, and I just could not do it. I couldn't bear it...! I had to be with you. I have to be with you..."

"You may now kiss the bride." Cheers and applause met with this last sentence. I could not watch them kiss. But I knew it had happened, because the cheers became deafening. I kept my eyes down as Baralai took his new bride by the hand, and the two walked down the isle together. I was happy that I did not have an isle seat for the ceremony. If I had there was no way that I could have been capable of keeping my stoic composure.

That other me, the one that the world knew, that my friends knew – she was nothing more than a shadow now. She was a fake. Faux Paine. I had been looking for my old self, the one from the Crimson Squad, the happy one, the one who wanted to play little jokes on Nooj with Gippal, who wanted to sit on the deck and stargaze, or scare Baralai to death by walking on the plank and diving into the ocean while the ship was still moving. I had wanted to find the me who had loved to sit on the Bikanel shore, and simply talk to Baralai about the most random things, like 'why is sand this color', 'why did Sin exist', 'how did Spira come about'...

Baralai had found her. He had rescued her. She had been dying, and he brought her back to life. He gave her a reason to exist... He had saved me.

"Paine... Paine, are you okay?" A hand waved in front of my face and I blinked. I looked up at Yuna and Rikku who were standing over me. It had been Yuna who had spoken, and she looked rather concerned.

"Yeah...?" I whispered.

"Are you okay, Painey?" Rikku repeated for her cousin. "You don't look so good – you look kind of pale." She snickered at her own joke. I only scowled.

"The wedding is over, we have to get to the reception quickly," Yuna explained.

"Yay, free food!" Rikku shouted to the entire hall, which still had some people in it. Most all stared at Rikku with dirty looks, and I doubted the looks came only because of her outburst... People swore that they 'accepted' Al Bheds... Lying sons of freakin' bitches... One man passed by Rikku, Yuna and I as we stepped into the isle. I heard him mutter something under his breath. I caught his exact words, and I know that Rikku had heard it too, because her smile faded, and she fell back in step with Yuna and me.

I was not going to let him get away with that... No, he was going to pay for saying that about my best friend.

When we reached the large temple doors I grabbed the little man by the throat and slammed him against the wall. I held him up with one hand and listened to him gag in surprise, and he stared down at me like I was insane, while trying to pry my hand from his neck. I refused to let go. "Do you want to say that again, you son of a bitch!? Do you want to say that to my face, you coward!?"

"Paine!" Yuna shouted. "What are you doing?! Let him down!"

"Paine," I did not recognize the voice. It was calm and very serious. Then I realized that it was Rikku. "Mad res tufh, ed'c ugyo! Drana ec hu buehd eh kaddehk yhkno fedr res!" I registered the words, almost as if they were spoken in English. My prisoner was kicking against my shins, but I glared at him with my red eyes and he fell limp, and instead only shook with fear.

"'No point in getting angry with him'!?" I laughed maliciously, my face turning red. "Rikku, are you mad!? Drec syh ec y vemdo pycdynt! Ra ryc hu nekrd du cyo druca drehkc ypuid oui! Hu uha cyoc cusadrehk mega dryd ypuid so vneaht... yht kadc yfyo fedr ed, tu oui rayn sa!?"

Rikku grabbed my arm tightly, and hissed, "Fryd eh Yevon's hysa tu oui bmyh du bnuja...? Vemdo pycdynt ra ec, E'mm ytsed ed, pid rindehk res fuh'd tu yhodrehk! Paine... bid res tufh, bid res tufh un E'mm syga oui bid res tufh!" I could not help but laugh with spite. "Put him down, put him down or I'll make you put him down!" Was she serious!?

"Caneuicmo? Ec dryd y drnayd, bnehlacc..." I asked her.

"Oac..." I looked at Rikku with surprise. She was glaring at me with her little, green, swirled eyes. Her voice held a tone of venom in it that I had never heard before. This man had called her a filthy whore and a gluttonous heathen, for no reason at all! Yet she was standing up for him to the point that she would threaten her friend... threaten me? I looked back at him, and saw his fear filled eyes darting between the two of us, wondering what it was we were saying about him to one another.

"Veha..." I sighed, dropping him. "E'mm mad oui feh drec desa..." Rikku released my arm as well, and smiled warmly, stepping away from me.

"Dryhg oui..." she whispered. "What had happened? I had wanted to kill this man. I was ready to choke the filthy life out of him. I would have never snapped like that before. I would have never...

I realized I was wound too tight because of this wedding... I was too upset. I needed some air. I had to get away from everyone. I needed my space. I can not remember the last time that I had spent time in the air, by myself. I felt too claustrophobic. My chest was constricted, and I had trouble catching my breath. Something was wrong with me...

The man muttered something as he turned his back on me and began to walk away. I heard him... I heard him. "Demon... those eyes... like a demon...! She speaks to that heathen like a friend... I didn't need that whore's help... no.."

"Why you little-!"

"PAINE!" Rikku grabbed my wrist as I raised it angrily. He looked over his shoulder at me, a smirk of triumph on his lips. Then he walked away towards the reception hall. I turned angrily back to Rikku.

"Why did you stop me!? You heard what he said about you! You heard what he said about me!? How could you just take that!?" I exploded in her face. "He deserved to be... Argh!" I wanted to tear my hair out. I ran my gloved fingers through my hair as Rikku watched me pace back and forth a few times. I was so upset...! I swore angrily.

I could not breathe! I had to get away... I felt the tears welling up inside, threatening to just burst out of me. My secret was now like a weight on my heart, which was beating too fast...

"Damn it," I whispered to no one. "Damn it all! Stupid... stupid shit..."

"Paine..." said Rikku quietly, "Paine, what is the matter...?!" I stopped pacing, and stared up at the ceiling of the large corridor we now stood in.

What's wrong...? What's wrong!? I'll tell you what the hell is wrong!

I could not take it anymore! I turned to Rikku and Yuna. Yuna, the most popular woman on earth, married to the love of her life – it had worked out for them. And Rikku... Princess Rikku... the–

My eyes landed on Rikku's left hand. The large rock on her ring finger... That had not been there yesterday, had it? I had never seen it before. But I knew what it was. I opened my mouth to ask her about it...

"Paine!" I clutched my stomach, hunching over. I opened my mouth to speak or to scream, but my words died. My jaw was numb and my throat burned. I threw up on the marble floor. "Oh Yevon..." Rikku reached me before Yuna did, since she was closer. She put her arms around my shoulders. My legs had gone numb, I could not feel them, and I could hardly feel my arms by now. The small blond was holding me up, solely by herself.

"Paine!" Yuna called my name, and then she began to panic. "Tidus! Tidus! Gippal! Someone, help!" She rushed up to me and felt my forehead. "She's burning up...!" she exclaimed.

I felt like throwing up again. My stomach was hurting like it was on fire. It felt empty, which would make throwing up again feel even more terrible...

"Yuna, get Lulu...!" Rikku said quickly to her cousin. I heard Yuna agree, but I did not see her rush off. My eyes were clouding over, and suddenly I could not see at all. I felt my shoulder hit the ground, and my head bashed into the floor.

"Move out of the way!"

"Gippal-!"

"What happened here?! Rikku, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, it's Paine! Look at her, she's fainted, we have to get her to the hospital!"

No... No, I can't go to a hospital... I wanted to tell Rikku not to take me to the hospital, I was fine! I could manage. I felt someone lift me from the floor. I opened my eyes, just a little. My vision was only slightly clearer than it had been. I saw a dark face above me, with light hair. "B-B-Baralai...?" I groaned out loud. No... It was only Gippal...

My eyes closed again, and I passed out in Gippal's arms.