Camelot News Internal Memo: 11th May 842 A.D
Dear All,
As I am sure you are aware, we have recently lost two of our best reporters in the field. The circumstances surrounding their disappearance are still undergoing investigation by some of Camelot's finest.
Here follows the scripted version of the final transmission of two of Camelot News' finest reporters, known simply as MM and MG. May their sacrifice in the line of duty serve as an example to all reporters.
Sir P. Ercival.
(P.S: A memorial service will be being held in the great hall at half past the sun dial today. The more of you who can make it, the better.)
MM: Good Evening and welcome to the Camelot Evening News, I'm MM. Coming up on tonight's show… An alliance is agreed with the Kingdom of Lyonesse after Sir Agravain marries one of the ladies of their court. The rapid spreading of chicken pox panics poultry in the lower city. And, long sleeved or short sleeved? We'll show you the latest court fashions.
But first, we go over to our royal correspondent who's reporting live from the council chambers tonight with a rather interesting breaking story. Good evening MG.
MG: Good evening MM, and may I say you're looking lovely tonight? Lady Morgana isn't a patch on you.
MM: Why thank you. I believe you have some interesting news for me MG?
MG: Indeed I do MM. It seems our Prince Arthur has expressed an interest in a rather uncharacteristic hobby. The young warrior today announced before his father, the king, and the entire royal court that he would be taking part in a forthcoming Musical Theatre production based on the life and loves of his royal highness.
It would appear that this production has been some time in the making and will have its debut performance this evening after sunset.
MM: I trust you will keep us up to date with the evening's events MG?
MG: That I will MM. The crowd are about to enter the great hall, where the production is being staged. I'll let you know how it goes as well as bringing you exclusive interviews with all the cast, including the stars of the show, Prince Arthur Pendragon and Mr. Merlin Emrys.
MM: I look forward to it.
MG: This is MG reporting live from the Council Chambers for Camelot Evening News. For now, goodnight.
MM: And we'll be hearing more from MG later on this evening. But for now, over to the news team where you are for the local evening headlines.
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MM: Hello and welcome back to the Camelot Evening News, I'm MM. Now, on tonight's special, extended news show, we cross over live again to MG, this time outside the Great Hall. Hello again MG.
MG: Good evening MM.
MM: So, tell us about this musical then MG.
MG: Well MM, I must say that it was nothing short of spectacular. "Merlin: The Musical Adventure" starred his highness Arthur Pendragon as a young prince whose father wants to mould him into a king. His life is straightforward until he meets Merlin (played by the great musical theatre aficionado Merlin B.E.W Emrys), a young songwriter with a magical talent for music who awakens in Arthur a deep love of singing and, together, they fight against Arthur's father, Merlin's mad eyebrowed Mentor and a really out of tune mythical piano to stage their own spring Musicale!
I've spoken to a few of the critics who've attended this evening. One called it a "masterpiece of musical theatre… a complete feast for the eyes. It definitely meets with Arthurian approval, 5 stars and favourited." There was one negative report however, from renowned art critic and Camelot Daily News entertainment reporter, Mr. U. Pendragon. He said, and I quote, "I was not at all pleased with how this went. Quite frankly it mocked the monarchy. I thought the beginning was good and the Prince was shaping out to be a good King. But I was most annoyed with the appearance of that big eared oaf. And I was frankly disappointed with the small, insignificant role given to easily the best character, King Uther. Such a grave and majestic figure and the gentleman they cast couldn't sing! He was literally a caricature and I was most insulted by such a blatant and open attack on such an important and fantastic historical figure."
If I can just get through this crowd of adoring fans I'm going to see if I can grab a quick word with young Mr. Emrys.
Mr. Emrys..
M: Please, call me Merlin.
MG: Merlin, first of all congratulations on your performance this evening. It seems to have been a huge success. What do you say to the review here by Mr. U. Pendragon?
M: Well, there's just no pleasing some people is there?
MG: No, I suppose not.
M: Now, if you don't mind, I hear the background dancers are getting changed, I think they might need some assistance.
MG: Oh… ok. Thank you for your time Merlin. What do you say to that MM?
MM: Well I must say, it's all sounding very interesting here in the studio MG. May I just quickly ask, for the sake of our audience at home, who the backing dancers were?
MG: Of course, they were members of the Knights of Camelot Royal Dance Academy led by Sirs Lamorak and Gawain.
MM: Oh! Interesting!
MG: I've just tried to interview Arthur regarding Mr. Pendragon's slating review. He has declined to comment and instead chose to express his displeasure through the medium of song. In other words, he's wandered off singing to himself. Ah! But wait! I can see over on the other side of the great hall, the composer of this evening's musical! Give me a moment to get over to him.
MM: But of course.
MG: Here we are. I am joined now by Sir Lancelot Lloyd-Webber, the composer and lyricist for tonight's performance. Sir Lancelot, good evening.
L: Good evening my lady.
MG: Why thank you sir, though I'm not a lady.
L: Damn, I seem to make that mistake a lot.
MG: Really? Interesting. Now, Sir Lancelot, what do you think to Mr. Pendragon's comments on tonight's production? I'm sure, as composer and lyricist, you have some kind of rebuttal for him? He called your production "an open attack" on the character of King Uther, stating that it "mocked the monarchy."
L: Well, he shouldn't have kicked me out of Camelot then, should he?
MG: Erm… well, no. I suppose not. So tell me, what is next in store for "Merlin: The Musical Adventure"?
L: We're hoping to take it on a tour of the rest of Kingdom and maybe, if ratings are good and feedback is positive, we might look into moving the production into Mercia or Lothian for a few shows.
MG: Sounds brilliant. Well, the best of luck to you Sir Lancelot.
L: Why thank you. Say, how about you come back to my trailer after this report and I'll give you some private singing lessons?
MG: I'm afraid, as attractive as that offer is, I must decline as it would be unprofessional.
L: Oh well, worth a shot. I might try and find that saucy little handmaiden around. Oh what was her name again!?
MG: Gwen?
L: Yeah, something like that. Goodbye.
MG: Erm… thank you, bye.
MM: Well MG, that was…brief.
MG: Indeed. But that's artists for you MM, always moving on to the next best thing.