I was bit by a creative bug. I was struggling to write another chapter for a different fandom altogether, and figured that this might help. I know a lot of people probably already know these sayings, but may I point out that THERE ARE NO INTENDED PAIRINGS, JUST MAIN CHARACTERS (AND SOME SHOUNENE AI, OR INSINUATING THAT TWO GUYS HOOK UP). And that it centers on Finn. I have a weakness for Sharp-shooters. There is one IMPLIED PAIRING, which is FINN DARK ACE (mostly for laughs, but also because I was dead serious). Storm Hawks set to 'best Friend' list, even though they function as a FAMILY UNIT.
Also, I wrote this for laughs before my other stories, but I found this when I looked around. It's about a week old.
I do not own Storm Hawks!
On with the short stories! Vignettes! Whatever!
A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?" (Piper and Finn)
Piper was in the corner, crying, and Aerrow looked helplessly around the bar. Sure, the guy had seemed nice enough, and he certainly had dropped hints that Piper was a nice enough girl, but then he goes and publicly rejects her? In the bar? During the height of the business hour?
If Piper hadn't been crying into him, Aerrow would have slugged the guy. Finn slipped off the couch, and swaggered over to the guy.
"It's because you're gay, isn't it?" He stated loudly. The guy spluttered, denying that he was gay. Finn then launched into a tirade of all the traits that the guy did that no straight man would do, and included turning Piper down.
He then left the guy to be thrown out for disorderly conduct, before taking the hint from the bartender and sitting back down with the rest of the Storm Hawks.
Piper sniffed. "Thanks, Finn. But why insinuate that his sexuality was at fault?"
Finn grinned at her. "I'm a marksman, Piper. I knew as soon as he switched his attention to the vapid girl getting drunk over there that he was after sex the whole time. So I made that comment about his sexuality to drive off all competitors for his attention."
Piper stared at him.
"And because his ego needed a little bruising as well."
Piper cracked a grin.
A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will prank call him and whisper, "You will die in seven days..."
(Piper and Finn) Originally I had Junko making the phone call, but that just made no sense ( to me)
Finn was in his bunk, sobbing. He had met the most wonderful guy at the Terra. The guy made everything that a sniper needed, and he was witty about it too.
The guy had lied about being single.
The wife had to present their wedding certificate when she noticed that Finn was always heading down to the Shooting Range. She was furious at her husband, and cautioned Finn not to leave the safety of the Condor.
But that was hard to do when the Condor was grounded for major repairs. They couldn't leave for another two weeks at the latest! Hell, even Cyclonis knew that.
Finn sobbed into his pillow harder. He hated when people lied to him. Okay, he lied all the time and Aerrow had finally gotten him to start lying only when he needed to protect people, but still…that guy was malicious.
Piper, walking by the room, heard him crying. Knowing that walking in and demanding answers would only succeed in Finn avoiding her for the next few days, she headed to the bridge.
A woman she had seen working at the bar was there.
"For the last time, he's my husband, and we can't get divorced unless there's a Mayor or a Sky Knight present. The Mayor is terrified of losing the business, so he hid me at the bar. That man is a complete beast. We both know it was a mistake to get married, I still wonder why we went through with it."
Aerrow frowned thoughtfully. "I know a lot of Sky Knights, and I am a graduate Sky Knight myself, I just haven't been officially recognized as a squadron yet. Maybe Rex and the others could drop by and help out?"
Stork sighed, and diligently began setting up the communications. Junko sighed, depressed.
"I thought the guy was nice." Junko moaned. Finn had blown off one of their talks about engines and dining in order to go see that guy, and now Finn was inconsolable in his room. Junko really hated the guy, but what was a Wallop to do?
Piper walked into the room. "Does this have anything to do with why Finn is sobbing?"
The woman started. Aerrow introduced them.
"Piper, this is Elliot. She's married to the guy Finn's been hanging around."
"How do you do?" Elliot shook Piper's hand and primly sat back down.
"Actually, I do have an idea." Piper said. "Aerrow, remember when that guy at the bar made me cry?"
Piper's idea went into effect the last week the Condor would be docked. They were using the first week to plan. Junko had a surprising number of ideas to entertain them with.
The most disturbing ones was going in without being seen and rearranging the furniture of the house. The guy wouldn't feel safe at home to begin with.
When Aerrow explained to Rex what was going on, he promised that he would be there on the last day to see the Condor off on her voyage, and while he may not approve of the Storm Hawks plan, that did not mean he didn't appreciate what they were doing.
Piper, who had rarely spoken to the range owner, called him up with the classic "You will die in seven days…." to kick off the week of terror.
Then for the next seven days, things began falling apart at his Range.
Radarr could do the darndest things with just a wrench. Stork would stay late at the bar and tell about how certain plagues were carried by ships (that passed through routes that the ships bringing supplies to the Range picked up) while Aerrow tagged the guy's glass to make him think that his hands were turning blue. Junko rearranged the furniture at the house when the guy was at a gun exhibit a Terra over.
The sixth night, Piper somehow contrived a phantom to chase the man through the whole town, leaving him spooked. On the morning of the seventh day, Rex appeared.
The owner through himself down at his feet and begged him to divorce him from his wife because 'evil spirits were cursing him for his unfaithfulness'. Rex put the paperwork through and the owner happily discovered that the last attempt on his life failed.
Rex raised an eyebrow at the Storm Hawks for the 'Death by Chocolate' sign falling down, but Aerrow shook his head. He hadn't planned that.
Finn came off the Condor to share the farewell speech, and Piper pulled him aside and happily babbled all that had happened while Finn was confined to the Condor.
Finn grinned and hugged her, displaying the positive signs of recovery that the whole team had been waiting for.
A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much?"
(Finn and Stork)
Stork was having the time of his life. The Terra was swampy, much like his home Terra Merbia was. He was in his element, walking over mossy logs and through mud. Finn was keeping up with him, agreeing to go searching for wild growing merb cabbages and avoiding the issue of who had seen Aerrow's slice of chocolate cake last.
Finn bet that Aerrow had just put the slice on a different shelf in the fridge and then someone else put something in front of the cake slice, and now Aerrow was in a bad mood because he couldn't find his cake slice. Of course, Finn was torn between being scrutinized and being there when Aerrow realized how foolish he'd been.
He was so busy in his thoughts he didn't see the tree root, or the puddle of mud.
SPLAT!
Stork kept on walking, calling over his shoulder "Walk much?"
A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.
(Finn and Junko (implied Finn Dark Ace)) Originally Aerrow was going to bring the Dark Ace to Finn, but I needed a comment with Junko in it….
Dark Ace moped in front of his campfire. He had trouble getting blue eyes and a cocky grin with a sharp-shooter slang out of his head.
Master Cyclonis had ordered him out until he was done sighing and making the rest of Cyclonia depressed.
Which was a mouthful, coming from the girl dressed in black, sighing over Aerrow and Piper.
The Dark Ace stirred the campfire, saving his crystals for real emergencies. Real emergencies such as when Storm Hawk leaders tried to sneak up on you through the bush, because he could hear the rustling in the bush. Really, did Aerrow think him so stupid as to park near the Condor without taking precautions? Smirking, the Dark Ace reached for his sword.
He wasn't here to fight, so maybe he would just slap Aerrow with the flat side of the sword to remind him that he couldn't sneak up on a former Storm Hawks member.
That kid had the damndest luck.
Leisurely strolling to the other side of the campfire on the pretext of practicing with his sword, the Dark Ace made a show of how a real swordsman could fight. He waited, waited…here came Aerrow now, creeping across the campfire to sneak up on him….
The Dark Ace spun around, the flat of his sword meeting a Wallop's thick hid. He wasn't counting on the opponent being so much taller than Aerrow as Junko is.
The Wallop punched the Dark Ace out in one swing. "Tingly." He commented about the swing to the out cold Cyclonian Commander.
Finn was woken up by Junko opening the door and dumping a person on the floor. "You've been sad, so I brought you something to help make you better." Finn thanked Junko, before he bent to find out who had been dragged here after all.
Finn did not scream like a girl. And he certainly does not squeal like one either. But being able to snuggle with the person who was plaguing him lately did wonders for his mood.
The Dark Ace will always maintain to Master Cyclonis that he came back in such a good mood was because he had managed to reach a compromise with himself.
She didn't press for details. He didn't give any.
He also didn't ask why there were signs of a paranoid Merb breaking into her lab and kidnapping her either.
A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"
(Piper Finn)
Hours earlier, Finn had run screaming into the woods of the Terra that they were docked at that provided as cover with an umbrella from a seriously ticked off Piper.
How was he supposed to know that turning the crystal left instead of right would turn her hair pink and give her orange polka dots when the explosion cleared?
He had run past Aerrow, swiping out the incriminating crystal with the umbrella that Aerrow was holding and heading out to the Terra (it was thundering earlier and the clouds had yet to part).
Piper didn't even slow down as she charged past Aerrow and after Finn.
Now it was raining. The torrents and buckets of rain were the kind that soon, six inches of rain would be flooding over the Terra and into the Wasteland, causing steam to rise, and a new storm to begin.
Piper, cranky, pink haired, with orange polka dots, decided that Finn so owed her.
She grabbed the umbrella from him and yelled "Run, Finn, Run!" and tore off in the direction of the Condor and dry beds and warm towels.
Finn groaned and ran after her. It was actually neat to run in this kind of rain. Finn bounded around, leaping into the rain despite the high chance of spraining a leg, Piper, circling her as he jumped in the rain.
Soon, all of the Storm Hawks were outside, running in the rain and leaping around. Then it was back on the Condor with hot beverages and towels, laughing about how the day turned out.
A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.
(Stork Finn)
"Oh man oh man oh man oh man oh man oh man oh man. They are gonna kill me when they wake up."
Finn paced around the bridge while Stork gave up trying to read his book. "I mean, I said that this stuff was harmless, I didn't think this would happen, I need to hide!"
Stork sighed. So what if Piper had fallen asleep on Aerrow, it wasn't such a big deal. He motioned for Finn to grab her under the shoulders, then he grabbed her legs, and they heaved her onto the couch.
Finn looked so relieved.
Take Two- Marker, and action!
The murk Raiders really did not know when to quit. They just kept coming until Stork was out of traps to keep hitting him with, because the bodies were in the way.
Thankfully, Finn would help him move the bodies before the second wave hit.
A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"
(Aerrow Radarr Finn)
The three of them may be in the very bowels of Cyclonia, in prison, most likely awaiting execution, but when Finn looked over at Aerrow and Radarr, they grinned back.
"Short-sheeting the Dark Ace's bed was awesome! Let's do it again!"
Author's Note: I have no credit to myself for the Storm Hawks or for the 'a friend a best friend' series. If you want to do your own version, go right ahead. (Not that you need my permission).