If anyone who has never read anything I've written, welcome! Just like my first ever fanfiction, this one is based off a Taylor Swift song, mostly because it has a story to tell. This time, it was 'Mine'. The reason I chose the song, before the video was even out, is because I got phrases in my mind of what Bella could be thinking, and I had the idea that Bella would spend the night before she got married sitting against a bed, a beer in her hand, telling her best friend and the person she trusts the most in the world her story. Of course, anything I write never goes the way I wanted it to, but I tried. I know it gets lame in some parts, but I really couldn't find a way to get it how I wanted it to be. It's very frustrating for me to know that, had someone else written this, it would have been a hell of a lot better. Nonetheless, I'm pleased with this. I've been writing since the night the single came out, which was VERY early August, and it's been sitting on my laptop for months, waiting to be posted.
I hope you like my writing style and bear with me, because I know it's quite long, and I thank you for opening this One-Shot, no matter how lame the summary made it out to be. I repeat, this is a ONE-SHOT.
*Disclaimer: I do not own any Twilight characters, Taylor Swift songs, stores, schools, cars, TV shows or anything else mentioned. And I'm only fifteen, I don't want to get sued. (:*
Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoy.
BPOV:
"Just a little more sparkle in the eyes and ….. Wow, Bella, you look amazing," Ms. Goldstein, my fitter/make up artist, said.
"Thanks," I said. "I love the natural look you went for. It's like I'm wearing make up, but it doesn't look like too much." I smiled at her. "Now can I take the dress off?"
"Sure, dear, I just wanted to see how it looked with the dress," she said. She helped me take the wedding dress off and put it on the rack. I took off the underwear specially for the dress and hung it within the dress. I put on my jeans, sweater and flats and walked out to meet Ms. Goldstein.
"My God, I remember when you were just a baby girl," she murmured, "and now, tomorrow, you're getting married." She smiled at me wistfully. "You know, I've helped many girls through this, and most of them, instead of thanking me, they just complain about their fiancée or gush about the insecurities, but you just seem so sure of Edward, it's odd for someone your age."
"I am," I said. I smiled as I thought about the emerald-green eyes that would soon be legally mine tomorrow.
"Well, that's great. It's highly unusual for such a young girl like yourself to be so sure of a boy, I repeat," she commented.
"I'm twenty-seven," I said.
"Exactly," she said. "But there's something about you two, and I just know that you'll never be walking down the aisle waiting for another man." She smiled at me.
"I know so, too," I said.
We were silent for a while, and I took the chance to look around the room.
Ms. Goldstein had been my next door neighbor since I'd been born and left to live with my father. She had taken care of me when he was working or out with friends, and she was a fitter/make up artist for brides. I'd always admired her work, and once she considered me old enough to not wreck anything, she let me go with her to her studio.
It was a room on the top floor of her house, the walls painted an ivory color yet plastered with designs and patterns and everything else she'd explained to me but I'd forgotten what it was. She had a few mannequins with dresses and two desks, one overflowing with papers and another with measurement utensils. This was the place I'd spent my youth, watching as countless different women came in, undressed behind the screen, got fitted and gushed about their fiancées. I'd always dreamed of the day when I'd be the one doing that, and it had always been crushed by the devastating state of mind I had.
For me, love had never been an option. My parents hadn't even been really in love, and I'd never seen my mother. So I didn't believe in love. Therefore, I never thought I would get married.
Ms. Goldstein touched my shoulder and brought me back to reality. She led me to sit on the steps that led to the other room and sat beside me.
"I'm just so excited for you, Bella," she said. "But, and sorry for bringing it up again, you seem so sure of Edward. Can't you tell me why?"
I knew I could trust Ms. Goldstein. Hell, I could tell her I'd killed my cat and she wouldn't tell a soul if I asked her not to.
"It's just—Edward and I have such history, and it's a beautiful story, that it's just impossible for me not to trust him, after all we've been through," I said. "It's kind of the fairytale ending every girl wants."
She smiled kindly at me the way she'd smiled at all the countless women she'd fitted before me. She always watched these women get ready to join the man of their dreams, but she didn't have one. She was relatively young, barely fifty, and she'd never been married.
"I know you two are going to work out," she said.
"Do you want to hear the story?" I asked.
"Only if you want to tell it to me," she said.
And I searched in all my memories to the very first time I saw Edward, to the first date, to the time in the lake, to the fight, to the proposal, ordering it all in the way it happened.
"Okay, you know Alice, my best friend, well one day we were shopping for clothes for the graduation in Seattle and she got hungry, so we stopped at a restaurant for lunch. Our waiter looked familiar, and he thought we looked familiar, too, and it turns out he had been a senior the year before us and he remembered us. He had been from Forks, too, but he moved to go to the college in Seattle. He told us his shift ended in ten minutes, and after we were done we could go someplace and catch up.
"We went to the ice cream parlor and Alice filled him in on everything that had happened since he left, from Mr. Berty getting run over to Mr. Molina dying in a shooting accident in Port Angeles. Then we told each other about ourselves and he just seemed like the sweetest thing. After we went back home, in spite of everything I knew, I was smitten. Of course, the next day at school Alice figured it out and soon we visited him. We became good friends, and he came to our graduation. Then one day Alice got sick and told me she couldn't go to Seattle with me, but that I should go so Edward wouldn't think we stood him up.
"So I went and we spent the day, and then he asked me out. By this time I knew I really liked him, but I was afraid of falling in love, because I thought 'Why do we bother with love since it never lasts?' but for some reason his smile and his eyes made me think he was different. I knew him really well, and he was different from every guy I knew. So I said yes. And our first date, he took me to a nice restaurant and then for ice cream, and he asked me out again. Of course Alice was ecstatic, and she insisted every time we went out to dress me. One of our first dates was when he took me to a little lake in a meadow in a secluded area he told me he found during his freshman year. Obviously my dad didn't care, so we went at night, and we took blankets and sat on them for a little while. It was the most beautiful little lake, and I remember seeing the city lights reflected on the water. I got a little cold and it was the first time he put his arm around me. It was all I could feel—the warmth of his skin, even though my hoodie—for the moment. It was also the first time he kissed me. Of course, we had to go back.
"I'd been accepted in lots of colleges, but I decided to go to the college in Seattle cause I'd be closer to Edward. You remember Alice went to that fashion school in New York, so during Spring Break, she came to see us, and she met Jasper. She was instantly in love, as was he, and she almost completely ignored me the whole time. One time, Edward and I were lying on the couch watching 'The Hills' and I whispered to him 'Can you believe it?' and he didn't understand what I meant. But I did. I could see it—I could see myself actually loving someone and trusting them. I wasn't convinced, and I didn't believe it, but I could see myself doing so."
I stopped talking as Ms. Goldstein looked at me. "That's not even half of it, right?" she asked.
"No," I said. "It's only the beginning." I smiled.
"It seems like you're going to spend the night before your wedding telling me the story, so why don't we get some hot cocoa and go to the couch downstairs?" she offered.
"That would be great," I said.
We went downstairs and I sat on the chair by the counter while she made the hot cocoa. She gave me my mug—which said my name in fancy-looking letters—filled with cocoa and we sat on her extremely comfortable and worn out couch. She had a TV, but she hardly used it. In fact, she only got it because when I was a kid, I loved to watch Aladdin and she got the TV and VCR and played it on a loop when she couldn't play with me.
"So what happened after Spring break?" she asked.
I sipped some of my cocoa and thought. "Actually, something happened before Spring break finished." I saw her eyes widen. "Don't worry—it was nothing like that. I'm still a virgin." She grinned.
"You won't be after tomorrow night," she said.
"That is kind of inevitable," I said. I laughed. "After spending so much time with him, it was as if he was changing me, and in a good way. I felt it a bit, but Alice seriously noticed it. Maybe I can get her to come over to explain it better." I took out my Blackberry and dialed Alice's number.
"Hey, Ali?" I asked when she picked up.
"What's up, Bells? Nervous? You better not get cold feet!" she chirped.
"No, not at all," I said. "What are you doing right now?"
"Nothing, just checking Facebook," she said. "Apparently we invited Rosalie Hale to your wedding."
"What? How?" I asked. Rosalie Hale was one of Alice's colleagues, but she didn't like me.
"Well, she said it on her status," Alice said. "Here, let me read it. 'Going to Bella Swan and Edward Cullen's wedding tomorrow. A smiley face. And I hope Emmett doesn't get punch on my dress again."
"Oh, I know," I said. "Emmett is Edward's cousin, and since he's going, I guess Rosalie's his date."
"That kind of makes sense," Alice said. "Anyway, any reason you called?"
"Yeah, I'm at Ms. Goldstein's house, and I need you to come over," I said.
"Why, is something wrong with the dress? Or—." I cut her off.
"Nothing's wrong, Alice, I just need you here for a moment," I said.
"Okay, I'll be there in ten," she said. She hung up.
"Alice is coming over," I announced. We waited for a little while, discussing the last touch of the wedding and sipped our cocoa, until the doorbell rang.
I opened the door and Alice came in. I hugged her. She was a beautiful girl, with short and spiky black hair, blue eyes, and a petite body. She wasn't even five feet tall, but she was beautiful. She was the fashionista of us, and she always dressed really nice, even for just staying at home.
"What happened, Bella? And what the hell are you wearing!" she yelled.
"Alice, it's nothing, I was just telling Ms. Goldstein some stories, and there's one part you could tell better," I said. "And tomorrow I'm almost wearing a corset, so today I'm wearing relaxed clothing."
"Fine, but to the airport you're wearing that blue dress I picked out, got it?" she said.
"Fine," I grumbled. I lead her to the couch and she sat on the arm while I retook my seat.
"So what story were you telling her?" I said.
"The Spring break when you said Edward changed me," I said timidly. She grinned evilly. Okay, maybe asking her to tell the story had been a mistake. She always went overboard when explaining, saying I turned into a rebel.
"Well, I still had a week left in Seattle, and Jasper had to go film something for a student film, so I stayed with Bella. And I noticed that she was different. I mean, I'd been spending so much time with Jasper I hardly spent time with Bella. So anyway, she had this bossy and kind of bitchy roommate, and Bella always told me how she was so afraid to stand up to her," Alice started.
"Let me help you understand," I said. Alice nodded. "I've always been out of the way, always quiet, and you know that, Ms. Goldstein. I never really stand up for myself because most people don't bother to get involved with me. I'm always the careful girl. The one who didn't say anything and kept her mouth shut and didn't go on dates so she wouldn't be committed to anything. So this girl—her name was Lauren—was stuck with me for the whole year. And she had obviously been the popular queen bee in her school. She always bossed me around and bitched me when she could. And she tried to steal Edward from me at the Fall dance. Anyway, point is, I'm always out of the way and this girl was pushing my buttons."
"Yeah, so Bella was always the quiet girl in the shadows, and then one time, I was there and Lauren said, and I quote, 'Bella, you bitch! I told you to do my laundry last night while I was on my date with Joey and you didn't! I needed that thong tonight!' and instead of Bella saying sorry, she said—." I cut her off.
"Can I say it?" I asked. Alice nodded enthusiastically. "Well, Lauren, if you wanted that thong then you shouldn't have used it on Friday. Can't you do your own laundry? Cause I'm sick and tired of your endless shit and your bossy attitude." I laughed at the end.
"And then Lauren screamed and threw a pillow at her, and she dodged out of the way, and Lauren ran off. And then Bella became a rebel. My careful baby became a rebel. So she was more confident and sure of herself. And she…well, when she was with Edward, she was just so…fun to be around. Not better than the old Bella, just different," Alice concluded. She smiled. "And that's kind of when I noticed she was more confident."
"Is that all? So he changed you," Ms. Goldstein said.
"Is that a bad thing?" I asked.
"It was a good change, therefore a good thing," she clarified.
There was silence for like a minute while I took that in.
"Alice, you can go now, I only needed you to tell Ms. Goldstein how I changed," I said.
"That was so rude, Bella," she said jokingly. "But seriously, I want to know what happened. I want to hear the story, too."
"Fine, then, Alice, you can stay," Ms. Goldstein said. "Would you like some hot cocoa?"
"Oh yes, please," Alice said, "with some marshmallows, please." Ms. Goldstein smiled at her and got up to the kitchen. Alice stayed on the couch armchair and looked at me intently.
"What is it?" I asked.
"Are you sure about tomorrow?" she asked. "I mean, you and Edward have been together forever, but you know, what if he's not the one?"
"I know he is, Alice, I know he's right for me," I said.
"And don't you feel bad at all that your own father isn't going to the wedding? My father's going to walk you down the aisle, for crying out loud," she said.
"If my father doesn't want to go, then it's his problem," I said. "He wasn't much of a father my entire life. I mean, your father taught me how to drive, how to fill out an application, and he drove us both to Prom when you forced me to go. Where was my father? Getting drunk and knocking up women who he won't care about the second he's sober."
Alice's face became a mask of shock. I could understand why—I never showed any resentment towards my father's lifestyle. He got money from my grandparents and the mysterious woman who claimed to be my mother—the one I'd never met. I cooked, cleaned, paid the bills, and handled everything at home since I was twelve. Before that, Ms. Goldstein had helped out.
Speaking of which, she came by with my mug refilled, Alice's pink and blue mug and her own refilled. She settled and looked at me. "What happened after Spring break then?"
I thought back to the things I said and the nights we spent studying and how well everything went. "Well, after finals, when I aced every class, I came back home while Edward stayed and worked, taking a Math class so he could get into the class he wanted. Being apart didn't work well for us, but he had an apartment near campus, and since I went over so much, we collected some important things of mine—like spare clothes and deodorant—and kept them in a drawer at his place. Sophomore year started and things were so perfect.
"He wasn't pushy and things went slow, and he didn't pressure me into anything. And then he started getting so many bills for electricity, water, rent, clothes, the student loan, and everything, and I decided to get a job to help him. I couldn't just watch him suffer, so I took a job working at the Subway near his job. But it wasn't enough with both our part-time jobs, and he took another job of tutoring younger students for the university. And then I realized even with my job, my school money wasn't enough to cover my classes and a dorm, and I just couldn't take another job, because I had so much studying to do.
"So Edward offered to move into his place. There was another room, and I was already helping pay the rent. So after Christmas break I moved into his place, and my drawer became a room. We slowly decorated it, and by summer break it was prettier than my room in Charlie's house. And since we spent so much time together at home, Edward learned more about me. I remember one conversation that stands out above all of the secrets I told him—one that was so important and private less than a handful of people know it."
"Can you remember the whole conversation?" Ms. Goldstein asked.
"Yes, from every gasp to every hug," I said with a smile.
"Is it too private or can you tell us?" Alice asked curiously.
"I wouldn't torture you with something I wouldn't tell you," I said. "Besides, it's part of the story."
They both smiled at me and sipped their cocoa while I talked.
"So we were waiting for the pizza delivery guy, and we didn't have anything to do. I'd never told him about my parents, and he always thought I just didn't want him to meet them until later. But that night, there was something in his eyes...something that just made me want to tell him.
"What do your parents do for a living?" he asked me.
"They work," I said, looking away. I just couldn't lie to him, and he always knew when I was.
"Obviously, but what do they work in?" he insisted.
And I snapped. Tears started silently flowing from my eyes and before I knew it I was in his arms. When I calmed down, I remember him looking at me directly in the eyes and saying, "You don't have to tell me, but it seems like you should tell someone. You shouldn't hide your feelings this way—it's not healthy."
"It's about time I told you," I sniffed. "Okay, my mother—I don't know her. I've never seen her in my life. My father is a drunk who knocks up women and then leaves them hanging after one-night stands. He doesn't work. I was born out of a flight risk—the story my grandmother told me when I turned thirteen. My parents were high school sweethearts, but my mother was a flunky. She scraped through bribing the teachers by sleeping with them. My father didn't mind, so long as he could call her his. Then in their sophomore year she got knocked up with his baby, so they got married in Vegas. At sixteen. They graduated while my grandmother took care of me. My mother knew she had no future and she became a prostitute. My father didn't like that, and he beat her and she left me with him and took off for Arkansas. My grandmother said that Ms. Goldstein, our neighbor, took care of me while my dad went, got drunk with his friends, and knocked up some other prostitute to feel close to my mother.
"So basically, I was a mistake, and—." I remember he shushed me as the tears went down my cheeks.
"Bella," he whispered. "It's okay."
"Not, it's not. I always thought love was a waste of time if that happened, and that's why I'm so guarded. Who my parents were marked my life forever, and I always feel like no matter what I do, I'll always be known as a prostitute's daughter with a drunken dad," I said. Tears were staining my cheeks and soaking his shirt. "And I always feel like they marked who I'll be."
"Bella," he said. "I promise—no, I swear, we won't make your parent's mistakes."
"And I smiled up at him through my tears, and he wiped them away with his finger and kissed me." Alice looked on the verge of tears, and Ms. Goldstein was smiling.
"He's such a nice boy, that Edward," she murmured. "But Bella, you are nothing like your mother. Her family was very close to me, and she was such a trouble maker. She slept with every guy in her class while she was with your father. But he loved her too much to care."
"Bella, I beg you, please, please, tell us more," Alice pleaded.
"Okay, after the summer after sophomore year, the bills got more and more expensive, and he was handling two jobs and I was handling one, and it still wasn't enough. We started asking his parents for a small funding help, and of course they gave us enough, but after that ran out and Edward's mother needed surgery, we had nothing figured out. I started taking night classes and working all double-shifts at Border's and weekends at Subway, but there was barely enough money sometimes. Those were dark days, when we were tense, and we kept the light, water and food to a minimum consume so there wouldn't be so much money to go to the bills. And every time I thought of what we would do and if we would get through it, I always thought of the time we went to the lake and how happy we were and how we've been, and I knew we'd pull out of it.
"And then one day in late February, he came home really late, around two thirty in the morning, taking off his work apron. He yelled out and I remember being so angry, because I'd been studying really hard. He asked for his food and I snapped.
"We don't have food at two in the morning, dear," I said sarcastically.
"I'm sorry for asking," he said irritably. "It's just that you know, I've been working so late just so you can suck up the light and water with your long, hot showers that asking for food is just criminal."
He was really ticking me off, and I was just so angry I started yelling.
"If you want dinner you can make it yourself!" I yelled. I remember walking over to the couch he was sitting on and yelling it right in his face.
He pulled the sleeve of my loose black T-shirt till I was right in his face and whispered menacingly, "Never tell me what to do."
I got scared at his expression and tone and I closed my eyes, so sure he was going to hit me. I screamed and yelled, "Do whatever you want! I don't care anymore!"
I felt his grip on my sleeve loosen and I ran out into the dark and wet street. His apartment was on the first floor, and I remember the pain shooting from my feet as they hit the cold and wet asphalt. My T-shirt was nothing against the cold, and my thin yoga pants were letting the cold air seep in. My muscles were tensing and getting tired.
I heard the door reopen and slam closed again, and hearing the crunch of shoe on gravel as he ran faster, trying to catch up with me. I tripped on something I hadn't seen in the darkness and fell. My hands were scraped and in the time I got up and dusted myself off, my back to the general direction of the apartment, Edward had reached me. My back was still turned to him. He tried to grab my hand but I let it fall.
I looked up at him, predicting a movie-like break up, bracing myself for a goodbye. I wiped my eyes with my sleeve in an attempt to hide my tears, knowing this would be goodbye, because that was all I've ever known. He took me by surprise grabbing my hand.
"I'll never leave you alone," he said. "Bella, I'm sorry. I remember how we felt sitting by the water, and every time I look at you it's like the first time. I fell in love with a careless man's careful daughter—she is the best thing that's ever been mine." He kissed me. "I'm sorry for being thoughtless."
"You made a rebel off a careless man's careful daughter, and you're the best thing that's ever been mine," I said to him. "It's okay, Edward. I'm just tired and sick of our situation. Your mother sending us money is the only way we're staying off the streets—it's keeping me frustrated."
We went back inside and went to sleep, and the next two weeks were lighter than the past few months. Then one glorious day, a letter came from the bank saying they'd been charging us over two hundred more dollars than we consumed because the people who lived above us had been using our cable to fuel theirs. And the bank called saying since he'd had the apartment for five years, the pay went down by a thousand dollars. So we now had to pay a thousand and two hundred dollars less. And I remember that's when he took me to the amusement park to rejoice in the new knowledge. And I told him I knew we would pull through. So I gave up the Border's job and worked part-time at Subway and went back to my normal schedule. And one night he took me back to the lake, and we saw the city lights reflected on the water again, and I started to believe in love and trust him. And he saw me believe for the first time. And I told him I loved him, and when we went to sleep, that night, I was thinking about it, and I could see a future for Edward and me. I could see it happening. And I wanted it to happen." I stopped talking. My stomach growled. "Hey, I'm hungry."
"Oh, me too," Ms. Goldstein said. "What should we eat?"
"Ooh, since tomorrow's the wedding we should eat pasta, cause it's so light and healthy," Alice said.
"Okay, let's go to the kitchen and you can continue telling us while I cook up some Rotini," Ms. Goldstein said.
We agreed and walked to the kitchen and put our mugs in the dishwasher. Ms. Goldstein started cooking and Alice looked at me expectantly.
"Right, okay, so after that night, everything was perfect. He knew how much I needed him and vice versa, and I finished college and took the classes I needed. He finished school and we moved back to Forks, and I booked the Middle School English teacher gig. He booked the High School Architecture job and we get some financial help from his parents when we need it. However, last year, we decided to go back to the lake just for old times' sake. We got the blankets and drove there, and as we sat near the lake, he told me he wanted to do something a little different. He got this little boat canoe thing from behind a bush and we got in and sat there, in the water, watching the sunset. I remember he pointed something out behind me and I looked back quickly, and when I looked back at him, he had a ring in a box in his hand and I said yes. And here we are, about to marry one year later." Alice smiled and Ms. Goldstein stirred the Rotini.
"So you're sure of Edward?" Alice asked.
"Completely," I said.
We waited until dinner was ready and ate in silence, and Ms. Goldstein looked at her watch.
"Goodness, dears, it's almost ten! You both need rest for tomorrow night," Ms. Goldstein insisted.
"Then how about we come over and sleep here? You have an extra bed—we fit there," Alice said. "Besides, there has to be more as to why Bella trusts Edward so much." She smiled.
"Okay then girls, you go and get your things for the night and an outfit for tomorrow and come back here," Ms. Goldstein agreed.
We finished eating and each of us drove to our houses. Alice lived on the other side of town from me, and when Edward and I moved I insisted our house was close to hers. We didn't live down the street from her like I had as a child—we lived in the other street. I drove like two minutes and parked my car on the drive way, hopped out of the car and grabbed my keys.
"I'm home," I called out as I opened the door.
Edward walked out of the kitchen and hugged me. "Where were you all day? I missed you."
"I was at a fitting with Ms. Goldstein," I said. "We got caught up talking, so I'm sleeping over at her place with Alice."
"The night before your wedding?" he clarified.
"Yes," I said, kissing his cheek. "I love you, but I told them I'd spend the night. Besides, I have to go over cause she has my dress and she's doing my hair and make up, so it kind of makes sense."
"Not to me," he said, taking my hand in his. "Ever since you've been so busy with the wedding planning and everything else, we hardly spend time together."
"Don't worry," I said. "After tomorrow I'm all yours." I smiled and let go of his hand, going up to our room.
I got a duffel bag and put in my bathroom stuff, sweats and two T-shirts, some spare clothes, a hairbrush, my cell phone charger and some shoes and zipped the bag closed. I went downstairs and took a cookie from the jar, then looked for Edward. He was sitting at the computer, but I couldn't see what he was doing.
"Edward?" I asked.
He quickly closed the window and came over to me. He hugged me and kissed my forehead.
"I love you," he said.
"I love you, too," I said.
"Hey, out of curiosity, what story are you telling them?" he asked.
My face had been buried in his muscular chest, but I drew back and looked up at his handsome face questioningly.
"Which one?" he repeated.
"How do you know?" I asked.
"Alice was on Facebook and she started chatting with me, telling me I was a jerk for the fight at two thirty AM, and yelling at you like a servant," he said.
"I was telling them everything," I said. "And I'm sorry for Alice's behavior."
"Hey, I'm used to it—when we had to work two jobs during college she nearly decapitated me," he chuckled.
"Wasn't so funny back then, though, was it?" I teased.
"No, not really," he said. "By the way, she also told me to tell you she wants to hear about Jacob Black going to the wedding. I think I would, too."
"Jacob Black's a friend—his father is my father's friend, but he's a nice guy, not a drunk, and his son always had a thing for me, but we were just friends," I said. "I figured, invite them to the wedding so they see how effed up my father is."
"So it's final?" Edward asked. "He's not going to the wedding?"
"I stopped by yesterday around noon and asked him," I started. "He threw a beer bottle at my head, said I was just like my mother, yelled he wasn't going to walk some ungrateful little bitch down the aisle and walked out."
"Were you alright?" he asked frantically.
"Yeah, he missed my head," I said casually.
"You talk about him hitting you so casually," he said, trailing off.
"Right, well, I also never told you he used to beat me where it wouldn't show," I said. "He stopped when I started hitting and biting back, but I'll always have the scar from the time he took the knife when I was seven." I shuddered, feeling the scar on my stomach.
"He took out a knife on you when you were seven?" Edward asked, incredulous.
"Yeah," I said, lifting my shirt and hoodie so he could see the long, thin scar that had become a part of me.
Edward gasped and kissed my cheek. "I always assumed that was just you being clumsy."
"It's fine—only you, Alice and Ms. Goldstein have seen it," I said.
"I think you should get back," he whispered. I nodded and kissed him before leaving. I got in my car—a Nissan Maxima—and drove to Ms. Goldstein's place. I parked and went inside the house and greeted Ms. Goldstein. Alice wasn't here yet.
"Bella, before you say anything, let me just say that it's what you deserve to find such happiness with Edward and life in general right now," she said. "Because of what you suffered when you were young. Because of your father." I was about to object when she stopped me. "Bella, I know he used to hit you. I heard the screams, and I saw the bruises and marks." I nodded. "And I saw the scar on your stomach. He pulled a knife on you once, didn't he?"
"Yes," I whispered. "I was seven. I'd come home from school, and I remember I was wearing jeans and a turtle neck sweater because of a bruise near my neck, and he got mad because he lost a bet and started hitting me, then took out a knife and pulled up my shirt. It was yellow—I remember after that time I never wore it again—because it was so stained with blood. I remember he pulled out the knife and I felt something cold and sharp against my skin and then so much pain…I think when he was done I dragged myself to my room and cleaned it, covered it and hoped it would go away."
"Your father is a monster," she said, trembling. "He wasn't this way—your mother made him that way. She was so…unpredictable that when she did something he didn't like he snapped. But he used to be the sweetest and most gentle boy."
I nodded, not knowing what to say.
"But enough with the heavy stuff," she said. "Let's get you settled."
I smiled gratefully at her and followed her to the guestroom. There was a large bed, a closet and it looked just like every other room in the house—cluttered and worn out, but still nice. I put my bag on the floor and thanked Ms. Goldstein. Alice arrived soon after and we all put on our PJs and went downstairs. Ms. Goldstein played Taylor Swift music—my favorite—in the backround as we sat on the couch and Alice looked at me.
"So why's Jacob Black going to the wedding?" she asked icily.
"Maybe he was never your friend, but he was mine, and even though he liked me, I invited him because he was important to me," I said. "And I invited his father so they could see how effed up my father was."
"Kind of makes sense, but what if he makes a scene? What if he does something you'll regret?" Alice said.
"Come on, Jake's not like that," I reasoned. "You just don't like him cause he's a Black, and his sisters beat you to the title of Forks Glamour Girl."
"Correction, they are La Push's Glamour Girls," she said, somewhat miffed. "I am Forks' Glamour Girl."
"Whatever you say, Ali," I said.
"Anyway, you're so sure of Edward, but it's easy for you because you see him every day and you always know what he's up to, but has there ever been a time when you were separated and you doubted him?" Alice asked.
"Actually, it's not that I've doubted him—I've doubted myself. The time in the fight at two in the morning was my fault, and when I braced myself for the break up I was doubting his ability to put up with me any longer, and I thought that was going to be our end. But I shouldn't have doubted him—I love him," I said.
"Bella, that's just how I feel about Jasper!" she said. "But he doesn't want to get married."
"Why? I thought Jasper was one to settle down quickly," I said.
"Well, he has this thing like, if I'm married then I'm lame, and some other stupid crap, and he just assumes I'll be his girlfriend for the rest of his life," Alice complained. "I mean, he's perfect for me. He can handle my hyperactivity, my fashion stuff, and he's just the nicest guy. And he helps me when I need him, but he just…we've been dating for like eight years. He doesn't want to marry me—and I'm starting to believe he doesn't love me anymore and doesn't want to let me down."
"Alice, he loves you, I would know, and I just—I'm sorry, I can't tell you now," I said apologetically. In truth, I knew Jasper—a computer geek at heart—had put a little boomerang thing in my bouquet so that when I threw it at the reception, he'd use a remote control to thrust it into Alice's hands and when she caught in he'd get on one knee and propose.
"Bella," Alice said slowly, "do you know something I don't?"
"What makes you think that?" I asked, looking around the room, at the floor—anywhere but Alice's penetrating gaze.
"Bella, what aren't you telling me?" she exploded.
"I can't tell you," I said. "I'm sorry, Ali."
"I tell you everything," she whined. "And you won't tell me one teeny tiny little thing."
"It's not exactly teeny tiny," I muttered. The little Pixie glared at me, but she knew I'd never tell her.
"Whatever, Bella, I'm not gonna fight with you on the day before your wedding," she muttered.
"Bella, I think you girls should go to sleep—tomorrow you're scheduled for massages at noon with Missy, my friend's daughter, and she's very punctual," Ms. Goldstein said.
"Fine," we chorused. Alice and I got up and started towards the stairs, but Alice turned.
"Bella didn't get to tell us the end of the story," she complained.
"Bella, is it very long?" Ms. Goldstein asked, genuinely concerned for our sleep.
"Not really—only two sentences for you guys," I said.
"Then sit back down, girls," she said merrily.
Alice skipped to her seat and I walked to mine.
"You ask why I trust him so much, but he's mine, and he's been mine for so long, that I simply just do," I said. "I never told anyone, but for the wedding, I have a surprise for him at the reception. I wrote a song and I'm gonna sing it."
"Can we see it?" Alice asked.
"I don't know—won't it jinx it?" I asked.
"Silly Bella, we just want to hear the song," Alice pleaded.
"Fine," I said. I went to the guest room and got the sheet of paper, went back down and cleared my throat.
Ah ah ah
Ah ah ah
You were in college working part-time waiting tables
Left a small town, never looked back
I was a flight risk, with a fear of falling
Wondering why bother with love if it never lasts
I say 'Can you believe it?' as we're lying on the couch
The moment I can see it, yes, yes, I can see it now
Do you remember we were sitting there by the water?
You put your arm around me for the first time
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter
You are the best thing that's ever been mine
Flash forward and we're taking on the world together
And there's a drawer of my things at your place
You learn my secrets and you figure out why I'm guarded
You say we'll never make my parent's mistakes
But we got bills to pay, we got nothing figured out
When it was hard to take, yes, yes, this is what I thought about
Do you remember we were sitting there by the water?
You put your arm around me for the first time
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter
You are the best thing that's ever been mine
Do you remember all the city lights on the water?
You saw me start to believe for the first time
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter
You are the best thing that's ever been mine
Oh oh oh
And I remember that fight
Two thirty AM
Cause everything was slipping right out of our hands
I ran out crying and you followed me out into the street
Braced myself for the goodbye
Cause that's all I've ever known
And You took me by surprise
Said 'I'll never leave you alone'
You said, 'I remember how we felt sitting by the water
And every time I look at you it's like the first time
I fell in love with a careless man's careful daughter
She is the best thing that's ever been mine'
Hold on, make it last
Hold on, never turn back
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter
You are the best thing that's ever been mine
Hold on, do you believe it?
Whoa, we're gonna make it now
And I can see it
And I can see it now, see it now, see it now
I stopped and looked up.
"Wow, that's an amazing song," Alice squealed.
"It was my luck most of what we said rhymes," I said weakly.
"Bells, that's beautiful, really," Ms. Goldstein provided, "but you girls should be going to bed."
"Fine," Alice and I said. We went back upstairs and Alice used everything she could to make my skin look radiant for tomorrow while asking if she should wear her hair curly or completely straight. She only let me speak twice—once to tell her the lotion was itching, and second to tell her curly because Jasper liked it better—that's when she snapped.
"You know what? If Jasper thinks he can simply just not propose to me when it's clear we're perfect for each other, then I'm not going to be the girl he fell in love with," she said. "I'll just do what he doesn't like."
"Alice, don't," I advised. "He's going to propose to you—soon. I can feel it."
"I hope so," she said. "Barely yesterday Mom asked me if he really loved me. I responded with a perky yes while on the inside doubting the answer. Do you know how that feels? To doubt whether the person you love loves you?"
"Sadly, Ali, I do," I said. "There was a time when the bills and the work and everything just had everyone so tense that he wasn't even treating me right, and it wasn't his fault. But sometimes he was so sharp and petty and not what I thought I knew that I started doubting him. Of course, just as I was about to ask him about it the fight occurred and the tension was gone and he was himself again."
"Wow," Alice said. "Why didn't you tell us that in the story?"
"Because I didn't think it would be helpful to the point I was trying to make," I said. "Anyway, are you done with that stuff? It's starting to hurt around the forehead."
She finished and we went to sleep, but my mind would not shut down to allow sleep. I kept thinking about tomorrow—would my dress slip? Would I trip in my usual klutzy fashion? Would the bouquet be the white and blue roses I asked for, or would they put in pink ones by mistake? Would Alice make a scene? Would Jacob make a scene?
So many questions kept me up until I started singing the most annoyingly catchy song I could in my head. It went something like:
Shawty is an eenie meenie miny moe lovah
Shawty is an eenie meenie miny moe lovah
Shawty is an eenie meenie miny moe lovah
Shawty is an eenie meenie miny moe lovah
I finally fell asleep—however my dream didn't help my imagination.
I was walking down the aisle, but at my arm wasn't Alice's educated, handsome and sober father in a tux—it was my father wearing dirty and stinky PJs, drunk and visibly enjoying himself as he towed me through the dark and away from Edward. When security finally found us, they escorted him to jail and I had to walk to the altar by myself. I gathered my courage and opened the doors, gripped my bouquet with both hands and started walking. I tried and failed to ignore the gasps as I walked alone at a brisk pace. I took Edward's extended hand and grimaced as some of his relatives glared.
The wedding was a disaster. The minister misread half of the vows and a little girl from Edward's family kept screaming 'SHE'S SO UGLY!' in the back.
"You may now kiss the bride," the minister finally said.
Edward leaned down and I leaned up, closing my eyes, when I felt pressure on my cheek. Edward hadn't kissed me—he'd just kissed my cheek. I looked up at him, confused.
"I don't think it's appropriate to kiss in public—especially if said public thinks you're hideous," he whispered.
We walked out of the church and people followed us, on our way to the reception, and I kept a smile plastered on my face. He didn't love me enough to kiss me in front of his family. And he certainly didn't think I was even pretty.
Once at the reception, someone's chicken was raw and the lady got food poisoning, and when we were dancing, Edward stepped on the hem of my dress and ripped it. Then when I threw the bouquet, Jasper had been in the bathroom and Jessica Stanley, some girl who's family was friendly with Edward's , caught it—and she was convinced that Edward would get on one knee and propose to her right there. Alice was beyond pissed, and when Jasper came back from the bathroom and saw Jessica's hands around my bouquet he went back to the bathroom. Jacob Black, my best guy friend, checked on Jasper—he was crying his eyes out, yelling 'WHY? WHY?' while sitting on a urinal.
Then the reception was over and instead of Edward taking me to the airport, where we'd go to Orlando for the honeymoon he took me home and said he was going to marry Jessica in a year because our wedding was a disaster and that might mean the marriage was going to be a disaster too.
I woke up screaming and Alice threw a pillow at my face.
"What gives, Bella? It's only seven AM," she grumbled, clearly tired.
"I had the worst dream," I murmured.
"Your dress turned pink?" she guessed.
"No, but the wedding, reception and honeymoon were disasters and Edward said he was gonna marry Jessica cause our marriage was going to be a disaster because the wedding was," I said.
"One, as the wedding planner I can guarantee it will be a success, and two, you were telling us how sure you are of Edward—he's not going to do that to you," she assured me.
I tried to calm myself as I showered and changed into sweats and went downstairs for breakfast. Ms. Goldstein was already up, her long black hair in a braid that went down her back. She smiled at me, and I was shocked again at how young she looked—certainly not her age. I'd met some women who were fifty and they looked ten years older than Ms. Goldstein, with wrinkles, and lines. She just looked so youthful—like a mature child in a woman's body.
"Morning," I said.
"Good morning, Miss Swan," she said happily. "Goodness, today is the last day I get to say it, I better wear it out." She smiled again.
"I could get used to Mrs. Bella Cullen," I said.
She laughed and I noticed she was working over the stove—cooking. She was making pancakes and bacon, my all-time favorite breakfast combo.
"Wait, you don't have to do that for me," I said. "I'm going to be a married woman soon—I need to learn to do this by myself."
"Nonsense, Bella, you've been cooking since you were ten," she said. "Just give yourself a break. You'll be off to a hotel tomorrow morning, and I'm going to make sure to personally tell Edward to not let you cook anything."
"Fine," I grumbled. In truth, I was just complaining out of courtesy—I loved Ms. Goldstein's pancakes.
Alice came down and we ate—and predictably she didn't even touch the delicious bacon, saying she couldn't eat something greasy just before the wedding. I ate it happily, as I always did. We spent the rest of the morning ogling at our dresses, thinking of Jasper's expression when he saw Alice's bridesmaid dress.
The color of the wedding was something that Edward said looked great on me—deep blue. For some reason, he loved it when I wore the color. Anything in that color. So the wedding decorations were that color. The bridesmaid dresses—three girls—were that color. Half of my flowers were that color. Hell, my hair pins had stones that were that color.
The bridesmaids were Alice, Angela—a high school best friend who had kept in contact with me—and my cousin Ashley—who was as close to me as the floor to your feet when you walk. The dresses were deep blue, made of a silky material, and they were strapless—like my own—and they were very flow-y, but the skirt fell lightly. Alice's shoes were painted the same color of the dress, but they were these four-inch peep-toe high heels, while Angela's were colored flats—as she was already tall—,and Ashley, being my same height—5'4"—was wearing Alice's four-inch peep-toe high heels.
My dress was strapless, obviously white, with a line under the bust that connected in the back, where a bow met the ribbon. The ribbon went down to the hem of the dress, which covered my feet.
Simple yet beautiful, two words Edward used to describe me.
So anyway, we were doing basically nothing when the masseuses arrived. After that, the whole afternoon was bliss. The wedding was at six, so naturally I had to be there at six thirty. Which meant that since Alice was doing my hair while Ms. Goldstein did my make up, we had to shower by three.
The massage was amazing, but then I had to shower and put on my underwear and a robe. Alice said with the dress, the pins, and the bouquet, my hair should be completely straight, with some bits of the hair at the sides pulled back for use of the pins, and my bangs were going to the right side.
So she blow-dried my hair, complaining at how much of it I had—something she did out of habit—and then straightened every part of it until I looked like someone on TV. Meanwhile, Ms. Goldstein was tailoring the dress, making sure it looked perfect. Alice had my hair straightened to perfection, and then she sprayed it with hairspray (Duh) and started working on my bangs. When she was done making them soft, and it was almost five, she grabbed a bobby pin and pulled them back so Ms. Goldstein could work on my make up.
She worked and worked until my bangs were freed and I knew she was done. I wasn't paying attention as I had been yesterday—today I was too nervous. Then Alice continued working on my bangs and almost ten minutes later she announced she was done and going to shower. She was so lucky—her short hair was so easy to handle. Then Ms. Goldstein went to shower in the other bathroom and I had some time to think.
I was rethinking the whole song thing, and whether it would be a good idea to sing it or not. I wasn't very confident of my voice, and I didn't want to make a fool of myself—at my own wedding. But something told me no one would think it was ridiculous. The only people I had invited that I didn't like were Jessica, a girl from my high school class who as soon as she knew about the wedding asked where her invitation was and I was too polite to refuse her one, Mike Newton, a guy who had always been such a dick to me because of my parents, and Tanya, because her family—as family friends of Edward's family—was going, and I was sure she was going to wear something short, suggestive and seducing. She could get any guy at all, and she wanted the only guy who had ever made me feel good.
Maybe if I sang the song and Edward didn't like it, he'd leave me for the family friend, Tanya. It was so obvious she wasn't even a real person—her hair looked like she worked on it for hours on end every morning, she wore so much make up she sometimes looked like a clown, she was obsessed with fake tanning, her boobs looked too big to be real, and her personality was just an epic fail.
But the song was so me. It was just like me to express my feelings or thoughts through writing rather than speech. And it was so inevitable I sang it, I mean, I wrote it to sing it at the wedding.
I was thinking in a loop, my thoughts chasing each other as they concluded the same thing. When the fourth loop was about to begin, I looked at my watch—which I would soon take off—and gasped. It was almost six.
"ALICE! MS. GOLDSTEIN! HURRY!" I yelled out.
Alice burst in, her hair already dry, and started curling it while Ms. Goldstein brushed through her dry and clean hair. She pulled it into a loose and elegant bun and started putting on some base. Alice put her make up on and straightened her bangs, then started pulling on bracelets and a ring. Then she looked at me and hissed to put on my jewelry. I put the bracelet, necklace, and earrings on and Ms. Goldstein put the pins and secured them with more spray, and then they pulled on their dresses. Ms. Goldstein's was a bronze colored dress that clung to her perfect figure beautifully, along with heels of the same color.
When they were dressed, they helped me put on the garter, dress, veil—which was held in place by the pins—and the shoes. Then they saw my colorful watch still on my right wrist.
"BELLA! Take the damn watch off now!" Alice growled.
"Sheesh, Alice, fine," I said. I took it off and they put make up on my wrist so my skin wouldn't look different. "I mean, how could you even consider wearing that? It's all bright and colorful, and you have to wear white! You can't be wearing something with blue, peach and yellow! It's just unacceptable."
"Alice, chill, I took it off," I said. "We should go, it's getting late."
"Even if we are late, we'll never be late enough," Alice said simply.
For some reason, Ms. Goldstein found it necessary that I rode to the ceremony in a limo. Since there was only one limo company in Forks was ridiculously overpriced, she took it upon herself to find me a nice car to arrive in. So to my wedding, I'd be arriving in my dream car—a Volvo S60. It had been Edward's dream car, but we'd never been able to afford it. Just to be able to ride in it was a dream come true.
We got in the car and Ms. Goldstein took off, driving towards the ceremony at record speed. We got to the hotel at six forty-five, which Alice decided was good enough. We got out of the car and a girl in a uniform lead us to a room.
"When you're ready, hit this button right here—" she pointed to a button next to a light switch "—and we'll start the ceremony. Are you the maid of honor?" she asked Alice. Alice nodded. "I'll get the other bridesmaids and tell them to come. And, oh, Ms. Goldstein, would you follow me to the room?"
Ms. Goldstein followed the girl out and Alice began humming some old Pop song.
"Alice, what the hell are you singing? You're getting me all jumpy!" I said.
"Sorry," she said. "I was playing my iPod and I found an old movie in there—Back to the Future—and there was a song on there that kind of stuck to me. 'It's the power of love!' …I don't know, Bella, it was catchy."
"Well, quit singing it and sing something contemporary!" I hissed.
"Because your love, Your love, Your love, Is my drug, Your love, Your love, Your love—." I cut her off.
"Can you sing in your head?" I asked.
"Fine, missy," she said. Just then, someone knocked on the door.
"Come in," I called out.
Ashley and Angela came in, looking beautiful. Alice hugged them and then they hugged me.
"Oh my gosh, Bella, today you're getting married!" Ashley squealed.
"My goodness, I wish you'd shown me your dress—it's so beautiful!" Angela said.
"Thanks guys," I said, blushing. "So, Ash, how's Jimmy?" She blushed like twelve shades of red.
"Um, fine, I guess, I mean, I wouldn't know…" she trailed off as she looked at the floor, thoroughly avoiding my gaze.
"What happened?" I asked, concerned.
"Oh, can I tell her?" Angela asked. Angela and Ashley were close friends, they'd met at the high school graduation. Ashley nodded.
"Jimmy was going to take her to a club, but he was a bit late, so she called him and heard. . .well, a chick moaning," Angela said, blushing. "Ash broke up with him on the spot."
"And I met one of Edward's friends, Patrick," Ashley said. "He seems nice enough, and he lives twenty minutes from my place." We giggled.
"And you, Ang, how's Ben?" Alice asked.
"With Bree," she said in a smug tone. "I dumped him after he yelled that he couldn't possibly just have one girlfriend." She smirked and Ashley wound up laughing. "Bree was cheating on him with my best guy friend, John, who lives in Florida."
We laughed for a little bit, and then Angela and Ashley told me Jessica was wearing this terrible-looking bubble-gum pink dress that made her look like a flamingo and Tanya was sitting on a dude's lap, making kissy faces at Edward, faces which he was very pointedly ignoring.
"Okay," I breathed. "Let's press this damn button!"
We all pressed the button and a girl ushered us out, showing us where to walk. Alice's father, looking very sharp in a black tux, took my arm and smiled at me. First Benny, a cousin of Edward's, walked down with the rings, then Jade, Alice's little eight-year-old sister, walked down as the flower girl, then Ashley, then Angela. I got a glimpse of the altar. Of Edward's beautiful smiling face as Benny took his side, as Ashley and Angela took the other side. As Alice walked down and smiled, then went by.
"We're up to bat, Bella," Alice's father whispered. We started walking, and I was oh so grateful I didn't trip, stumble, or fall. Then he was removing my hand from his grip and passing it on to Edward. We took our places, the ceremony began, and if I do say so myself, it was quite a nice experience. We said the vows, the minister told us to kiss, and like a fairytale, we were out, getting into the car on the way to the reception.
"I love you," he said, looking in my eyes, the happiness in his reflected in mine.
"I love you, too," I said. "I wrote a song for you, but I don't want to play it at the reception, so here." I gave him the paper with the lyrics that I'd hidden in the depths of my dress—or rather, what's underneath it—and watched his face as he read it. He looked up when he was done, cupped my face in his hands and kissed me so sweetly, I knew this was the happiest I'd ever be. The happiest I could ever be.
This was who I was meant to be. And now my life had come full circle. I was beginning the life I wanted to have. With the man I loved the most in this world. The only person I would ever love that way in my life.
THE END
Thanks for reading this through to the end, I know it was quite long. It took me about five months to write it, so I guess it would have been long. Thanks so much for reading, and if you want to read some of my other stories, check out my page. I know it's a bit dull, but it's all I've got now. (:
And to all the Bottom of the Ocean readers: a new chapter is in the works. I Tweeted about it a little while ago.
Hope you liked this, thanks for reading, please review. -Adriana