(A/N: hey there, I just reached 100 reviews in dollhouse. It's a dream come true, and I never thought it would happen. So here I am, celebrating it with a jalex one-shot. This one's from Max's POV. It's not angst, because I'm not feeling angsty lately. In fact, I'm crushing on someone. Problem? He has a moustache :| never mind, we are probably going to be enemies since we are competing over academics. *shrug*)
//////
His tutor told him he has a dysfunctional family, and that is why he is unable to unleash his full potential.
He's still trying to figure out what dysfunctional means.
/////
"Hey Justin, what does dysfunctional mean?" Max asks his older brother.
"Dysfunctional. Adjective. It means abnormal or impaired functioning, especially of bodily system or a social group." Justin says in one breath, his voice smug again, and Max wonders if his sister is right- maybe Justin does learn up the dictionary.
He is looking down at the ground, because he still does not understand anything.
"Max-dysfunctional-means-something-that-is-not-working-properly." Justin drawls out slowly, to make him understand.
"Oh, you mean like a table for two where three people are sitting?" Max asks enthusiastically.
Justin deadpans and sighs. Alex snickers.
He still does not understand.
/////
"Umm, Maxie, are you thinking again?" His mother asks when she sees him sitting on the couch in the living room, his thinking face springing into action.
"Mom, what did Tutor mean when she said I have a dysfunctional family?" he asks, looking up from the floor for the first time in half an hour.
His mother sighs, because explaining something like this to him will be almost impossible. "Honey, I think-"
She is cut off when her eldest children storm into the room. "Oh there you guys are." She says in confusion, looking at the siblings. Their clothes are wet, slightly muddy, though it isn't raining; the right sleeve of Justin's shirt is torn at several places, and she is not sure if she wants to know what Alex got into this time.
"I'm not talking to her ever again." Justin announces angrily, taking the stairs and running up to his room.
Theresa frowns and looks at Alex, and she actually feels slightly intimidated by the way Alex is glaring at the stairs. "What happened?" she manages to ask, because she's the mother, and she needs to know.
Alex doesn't answer her. She simply runs upstairs.
Theresa sighs and returns to her work again, pretending she has forgotten Max's question.
Max sighs and gets up too. His siblings have the habit of getting into fights; it has been happening since before he was born, he is quite used to it by now. Justin has threatened not to talk to Alex so many times, he has lost count. Not that he tries to count, he's still not sure if nineteen comes before or after twenty. He assumes this is just another fight, it'll get over soon.
"I'm going to my room now mom." He announces as he too takes the spiral staircase, the only difference being his calm footsteps instead of his siblings' angry ones.
He's walking past his brother's door, and he hears his sister's voice.
"It's not my fault!" Alex hisses.
That gets Max's attention, and suddenly, he's curious. He's not a nosy kid, and he doesn't like eavesdropping, but he finds himself standing in front of his brother's closed door, listening intently. (And it doesn't strike him that the door is closed.)
"I told you we shouldn't use magic." Justin hisses back. "But you just had to go ahead and do the spell."
"Hey, that mermaid was crossing her limits." Alex protests.
Mermaid? Did they go to…Mermaid Land?
"I could have handled it." Justin snaps.
"No you couldn't!" Alex snaps back, the pitch of her voice increasing with every passing minute. "You were being 'She is so pretty. I really like her.' " She mimics.
"Okay, I didn't say those things." Justin protests, and his pitch is rising too.
"But you were obviously thinking those things." She scoffs.
"No I wasn't." Justin says, trying his best not to yell. "You should know something by now Alex- I am perfectly happy with my girlfriend."
Max gasps before he can stop himself. Girlfriend? When did Justin get a girlfriend?
The door opens and his siblings are staring at him.
"Max?" Justin questions, his eyebrows quirked upwards.
"Yeah?" Max asks, retreating two steps.
"Is something wrong?" Justin asks again, the calmness in his voice and his subtle question making Alex whine.
She rolls her eyes at Justin and glares at Max. "Were you eavesdropping on us, Max?" she demands angrily, and Max remembers again why he didn't want to get on Alex's bad side.
"No…?" Max offers faintly, because really, this is useless- it's already over, it's Alex after all. He can already see hamster food in his oatmeal for the next six months.
"How long have you been listening?" Justin asks, and does he sound… scared?
Max tries to ignore this funny feeling inside of him and shrugs. "Two minutes, I guess."
They both sigh in relief.
And now Max knows they are keeping a secret from him- again. This has been happening since he was born, so this doesn't really offend him anymore.
"Next time Max, just knock, okay?" Justin reprimands, offering him a sweet smile.
"Okay." Max promises quickly, nodding for emphasis.
Alex rolls her eyes again and slams the door in his face, the loud noise it makes sending him a not-so-silent warning.
He runs away to his room, panting, not risking hearing the rest of their conversation, because, really, he doesn't want to annoy Alex again.
(And he forgets to ask Justin about his girlfriend.)
//////////
During dinner, they are acting normally again. Justin is lecturing Alex on physics while she is mocking him and stealing his food.
"So what were you kids fighting about earlier?" Their mother asks, trespassing into their bantering.
Justin shrugs and swallows the bread in his mouth (because he is Justin and he doesn't talk to his parents or elders with his mouth full) and finally speaks. "Alex and I went to Mermaidia today. She antagonized a mermaid and we got into a huge brawl."
"Brawl?" Alex scoffs, shaking her head in disbelief. "As if the ant word wasn't enough of a joke."
Justin narrows his eyes at her threateningly. "Antagonize." He mutters through clenched teeth.
And again, they are paying attention to only themselves.
"Alex." Their father scolds. "Stop making fun of your brother. You should be thankful that he was there and he got you out of trouble. More importantly, why did you two go to Mermaidia today?"
Justin snorts. "Because Alex 'accidentally' cast the wrong teleport spell." He says, using air quotes around accidentally. "She was trying to teleport home." He adds.
Their father gasps. "Alex! How many times do I need to tell you that you cannot use magic without supervision?"
"I was using magic with supervision!" Alex protests instantly. "Justin was supervising me!" she says, pointing the index finger of her left hand at Justin.
Their father looks at Justin.
Justin shrugs. "I was trying to stop her."
Their father looks back at Alex again. "Alex." He sighs in exasperation; because he is not sure which punishment he should give Alex this time.
"Daddy, it's all Justin's fault." She pouts, instantly blaming everything on Justin. "He was the one who forced me to go to my all classes today. You know I don't go to all the classes; it just makes me so tired. I told him I would get tired. But he said I wouldn't pass if I don't, and then he'll convince you to get me a boring and annoying tutor… And then I was tired, and I wanted to get home soon, so I tried to teleport…. And why are you looking at me like that?"
Their parents simply look at each other and nod.
"Justin, you'll be tutoring Alex from tomorrow." Their father announces sternly.
Justin chokes on his food, coughs, spits out food, and chugs a glass of water. When he regains his breath, he protests. "Dad this is not fair. This is supposed to be Alex's punishment, not mine!"
"It is her punishment." Their father assures, "now she'll be forced to sit with you for hours and study, and she can't trick you into letting her go, because you know her too well."
"But dad-" He tries to protest again.
"-Justin, just tutor your sister." Their father cuts him off.
Justin sighs in defeat and returns to his food.
Max tries to ignore the fact that Alex did not protest. After all, he's the dumb one in this family; he's not supposed to pay attention to details. Things can't change suddenly.
(And he forgets to ask Justin about his girlfriend- again.)
////////
Justin has been tutoring Alex for the last one hour, and there hasn't been any sound of yelling or things breaking yet.
Their mother has been pacing in the living room all the time, clearly suspicious, and by now, she's worried if Justin is all right.
"Max, please, just go and check on your brother and sister." She pleads.
Max sighs and gets up without any argument, because honestly, he is quite surprised and curious as well.
He reaches the door to Justin's room and pauses, contemplating whether he should knock or just slam it open. He looks at the ceiling, silently praying to Heaven to save him from the wrath of Evil Genius Alex, and finally decides to slam the door open, because if he knocks, he's not sure whether anyone will respond.
The noise startles them, and they stir up a bit.
Justin is sitting on the bed, some book open in his hand, and notebooks lying by his side. Alex is resting on the bed, her head in Justin's lap. Their eyes move in Max's direction, but they don't move apart.
"Mom wanted me to see how the tutoring is going." Max blurts out, before Alex can turn him into a football and kick him into the field 50 blocks away.
"Tell her it's going fine", Justin replies calmly, before returning his gaze to the book and starting reading again.
Max nods and staggers out of the room, his knees still weak from fear of Alex (or something completely different). The door closes in his face again- this time by itself (or by magic).
He climbs down the stairs quietly, shaking his head.
(And he forgets to ask Justin about his girlfriend- again.)
/////
"I'm glad you kids are getting along." Their father says proudly during dinner that night.
"We are not getting along." Alex protests in an offended tone, because really, getting along with Justin is the worst thing that can ever happen to her. She's not bowing that low. She steals food from his plate, just to prove her point.
"Really? I can see you have not been mocking your brother today." Their mother says, smiling slightly.
"That's because he is not talking." Alex points out. "He has decided to be more boring today than he usually is."
"Sorry if I feel my voice deserves some rest." Justin snaps immediately. "Reading to you constantly for three hours is not child's play."
"I told you, you should let me do the reading." Alex snaps back.
"You skip three paragraphs after reading a single paragraph!"
"That is how I study!"
"And that is why you get such great marks." He mumbles sarcastically.
She glares at him and steals more food from his plate. He eats his (remaining) food silently again.
"So, is Alex making any progress?" Their father demands.
Justin shakes his head and then shrugs. "At least she's listening to me read."
"Trust me honey, that's a progress." Theresa assures her son.
Justin chuckles and nods, returning his attention to his (almost empty) plate again.
Alex rolls her eyes and tries to hide the smile from her face.
Max notices though, and oh my goodness, he is paying attention to details!
/////
When the report cards come out, he's not sure who is more surprised- Alex or their parents. Alex got a B!
The only one not surprised is Justin. He's smiling proudly, and a bit smugly. "I knew she could do it." He says triumphantly, ruffling her hair.
She leans back into him and smiles. "Yeah, I knew I could do it too." She says, and then leans in to whisper in his ears. "How can I not…? It was you and I."
Max hears the words and gasps. Alex is giving Justin some credit for his tutoring? Something is definitely going on.
///////
"Are you guys going to tell me or not?" Max demands angrily when the three of them are alone in the lair.
"I told you he knew!" Justin hisses to Alex. Alex points a finger upwards, silencing him.
"You guys still haven't told me what dysfunctional family means." Max frowns, crossing his arms.
Justin sighs in relief. "See, false alarm." Alex says, smiling. "Max, dysfunctional family is a family where people are not acting normally…"
"Normally?" Max asks.
And Alex is already giving up. "Yeah, normally, you know, like in those stupid movies that Justin watches… You know- where the parents love each other too much but are always fighting. Where the sister is pulling pranks on the brothers, and the brothers are scolding her, lecturing her, getting even with her but also getting her out of trouble…"
Justin gasps. "You actually watched those movies?"
Alex glares at him and returns her attention to Max, and goodness she's becoming the ideal older sibling (Justin is contagious). "Those are the normal families… and when people act different than that, that's dysfunctional."
"Thanks Alex", Max says gratefully, and since it's Max, she's not sure how many more times she has to repeat that.
Only she doesn't have to- Justin keeps repeating and explaining, and after two painful hours, they are really to believe he understands.
//////
Max is smiling proudly. He finally understood a big concept. Now he can go around boasting it to his friends.
"Maxie, did you finish your homework?" Their mother asks.
"No mom." Max replies smoothly.
"Why?" Theresa demands, placing her hands on her hips. "Are you trying to follow Alex's footsteps?"
"What! No!" Max scoffs. "Justin told me that in a normal family, the younger kid neglects his studies. I'm trying to be normal; I don't want us to be dysfunctional." He emphasizes on the last month, boasting his knowledge to his mother as well.
Theresa sighs. What made Justin think it'd be a good idea to explain something to Max? "You know what Maxie, in a normal family, the elder brother always helps the younger one out."
"Really?" Max asks, sitting up.
Theresa allows herself to be hopeful. "Yeah, maybe you should take your homework to your brother."
"Yeah." Max nods, getting up and climbing up the stairs to Justin's room.
/////
He springs the door to his brother's room open. "Hey Justin, mom wanted you to help me with my homework."
"Can't you see we are busy Max?" Alex hisses.
Wait…. Alex?
He turns around and notices them. Alex is pressed against the wall near the door, Justin in front of her, his left hand resting on the wall, balancing him from falling forward, his right hand around her waist... and they are glaring at each other. Her hands are wrapped around his neck and they are standing too close.
Max shrugs. They never believed in personal space. (A/N: yes, I totally stole that from a tag in the LJ Dalena community XD I'm sure Kat couldn't be mad… right?)
"Okay, I'll come back later then." Max says, walking out of the room.
Nah, tutor is so wrong. They are a perfectly normal family. There is nothing dysfunctional about them.
(A/N: I know it could have been better, but I'm no good in writing Max :| anyways, this dysfunctional family prompt came from "My tutor, Tutor." Reviews please? :-S )