I may be pretty, but I'm not naive.
I knew the risks I would be taking, have paid because of them. I'm broke now, deepdeep in a debt that I'll never be able to climb out of.
(the depths of Tartarus)
I've taken lives, lives of people I loved. My hands are covered in their blood and my own because this has been hurting me, too, my mistakes.
And that - that isn't right. I'm always in pain now, constantly aching as my muscles and bones and heart creak and moan and groan of how wrong I've been all this time, all the the things I've done; the cracks are widening, a web of scars and I'm almost to the breaking point, a dam waiting to burst -
So I raise my sword and look into the faces of all those who have died because of me
(who I've killed)
and the flame I've been fueling finally burns me -
And it's like -
oh gods oh gods oh gods it hurts it hurts it BURNS please please please MAKE IT STOP
(it's not going to)
and my nose is melted into my cheek, my lips twisted, the poison like liquid fire in my mouth, and this hurts but I am not beautiful, never have been.
I am a spy.
A/N: This is another scene I don't think Rick touched enough on. I mean, seriously, poison right in the face? Really, that deserves a lot more description than it got. And just with Silena being the spy... it was literally mentioned twice. That's pathetic - the spy had been in play since SoM. It needed more attention than that.
These are the reasons PJO has fallen fast to third on my list of favorite book series... Oh, Rick, why have you disappointed me so?
Anyway, I hope this made sense. And those last spots where the first word wasn't capitalized and there wasn't punctuation were intentional. Just so you fellow grammar-Nazis don't go ballistic on me. :)
Please, please review! I don't feel like I explained enough in this. Even if it's just a smiley it'll be worth it. :DD
Thanks for reading anyway. Hope you liked it!
~whispered touches
Disclaimer: I do not own Percy Jackson. It belongs to Rick Riordan. No copyright infringement is intended.