"You don't love me . . . you can't," Katniss said as she backed herself up against her living room wall with her eyes looking anywhere but into the deep blue eyes that could only belong to Peeta Mellark. Katniss gripped at her trousers, her nails digging into her body. She couldn't just let Peeta walk into her life, just like that. It was only a couple of months after the rebellion and the death of so many, so many innocent lives had been taken but those lives that needed to be taken in order for people to live on.
Fear ran through her, coursing her body and purging her thoughts. She loved Peeta and after what he just said he still loved her despite the Tracker Jackers venom that still took control of him in brief moments that would tell him to kill Katniss, but he what was real and what wasn't now and was able to fight them but he still had dark thoughts that would often crop up.
"Katniss I do love you," he spoke in an honest whisper that broke her down. Tears starting to flow down her face but she didn't brush them away or even noticing them. Peeta took a couple of small steps trying to be closer to her but not to close that she would feel scared but why should she be scared? He hadn't hurt her . . . had he?
"You just can't P-Peeta," Her voice catching when she had to speak his name. She couldn't give a reason but why did everything have to have a reason or an explanation? Wasn't it enough just to say what you wanted to say or what you were making yourself say?
"And why not? Give me a reason as to why I cannot love you? Tell me a good enough reason and I'll leave you," His voice soft but strict at the same time, that showed Katniss that he wasn't going to leave her even if she did have a good enough reason.
Katniss stood there rooted on the spot not knowing what to say or do but her nails were still digging into her thighs and she was sure that blood was slowly dripping from the finger nail marks but she didn't care. After not really seeing Peeta for a couple of months after the end of the war and rebellion, she knew that he was living in District 12 and had seen him walk past her house but she didn't make an effort to talk or see him. She had just wanted to be alone and forgotten. She was still living in the Victors village, she could bring herself to do anything else except let her mind think and torture her.
"Katniss," Peeta urged her speak up and took another step forward towards her to try and bring her out of her thoughts. He couldn't take seeing her like this but he knew that she wouldn't be anything else at the moment; her sister dead, her best friend had been the reason for the death of her sister and her mum had moved to District 2. It pained him that she was feeling like this but he didn't want to force himself on her and make her worse, he loved her.
"Why should I give you a reason?" her voice speaking with nothing but strength and . . . fear. Fear of what was going to happen.
"Because I want to know what I have to do," he said so simply.
Katniss pondered over his words before she let slip the words that she knew wouldn't do anything to help either of them, "I don't love you," she quickly looked up into his eyes and away again before she got lost in them and saw something that would hurt her. "I think you should leave,"
Peeta didn't say anything, she was lying . . . wasn't she? Before he could even think upon what he was doing he stepped fully up to her and grabbed her face in his hands and kissed her with every ounce of love that he had for her, her lips moved with his in the same passionate but soft way. After their lips being locked for what felt likes hours, days, months to them did they break away for the need of air had become so great. Peeta's hands rested on her waist and his forehead was resting against hers, "You can't kiss me like that ad say you don't love me," he said softly still trying to get his breath back after the kiss.
Katniss's body feel limp and what little smile that ran across her lips fell, "I think you should go." She said simply with no emotion. Her arms leaving his body and just hung loosely by her side, not wanting him to stay any longer.
Peeta felt drawn between doing what the woman her loved wanted or talk to her and sort out what was going on, if there was anything going on. He felt like every emotion and sense of everything he knew just leave him at click of a finger. She couldn't have meant that, she just couldn't have.
"I'll leave when you mean it," Peeta spoke in a simple whisper trying not to let his voice break but he knew that even he couldn't stay strong for long. He wasn't perfect, he was just human.
Katniss did what she had done ever since she knew what the Capitol was really like and knew what the world was really like. She drained her face of emotion and purged her head of all thoughts. "I want you to leave," her voice spoken with a sense of numbness and a slight forced tone, but what could she do? He couldn't stay here and more importantly she couldn't stay with him. Looking up into his eyes to make what she said to be more truthful and honest, hoping he would fall for her words and leave.
"Fine," and with the sound of a closing door and the sound of sobs that came from a girl who had broken her heart but also his. It was for the best . . . right?