Interviews in the Bathtub
Nothing is mine. Period.
Interviews in the Bathtub
Some guy says-
"Are you ready, for the 8th wonder of the world, Jeeeerrry Sppprrriiiinger?!"
The crowd cheers even louder.
"Well its too bad, because he's not here!"
Crickets chirp, and a tomato hits the side of the guy's head. The guy looks smug.
"Instead, we have... Lizzie Donna-wanna-wanna-ching-chang!"
Another tomato is thrown as an average looking woman, supposedly Lizzie Donna-wanna-wanna-ching-chang, walks out in this nifty reporter suit.
"Woo. Hoo." An audience member said.
HOLD UP! WAIT A MINUTE!
You see, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Wow. this was a major waste of my time." And you WOULD be right, if my fan fic actually did revolve around some mediocre reporter and her sense of fashion. But you are, however wrong. Because that wasn't my fan fic. This wasn't my show. That was Lizzie Donna-wanna-wanna-ching-chang's show.
THIS...is my show.
All the cameras zoom in on the prefect's bathroom door. The door opens up to a large audience clapping and cheering beside a huge tub filled to the rim with purple bubbles. The applause dies down as the spotlights zoom around and some really hot guy beside the tub says...
"WELCOME TO...KAT'S...INTERVIEWS IN THE BATHTUB!!!!!!!!!!"
The crowd, including students and professors of the school and numerous celebrities, cheer at the top of their lungs as the guy moves and reveals Kat soaking in the bathtub wearing nothing but a bikini. She smiles and says into the microphone-
Kat- Hello, everyone! I see we have a full house! I see Austin Powers.
The crowd cheers as the camera zooms in on a waving Austin Powers with crooked glasses.
Kat- I see Britney Spears snogging Austin Powers.
The crowd cheers Britney Spears stops snogging and smiles and blows a kiss to the camera.
Kat- Ah, I see the infamous commentator, Lee Jordan!
A tomato is thrown at him.
Lee- *:- (
Kat- But none of the celebrities present tonight can top the person Im interviewing in just a few short moments. It is- OLIVER WOOD!
The crowd goes crazy as the Quidditch captain to boot enters the bathroom in his Gryffindor robes. He waves and jogs over to the tub.
Kat- Cue the strip music!!!!!
Some funkadelic strip music comes on as Oliver strips down to his quidditch pattern boxers.
Whistles erupt and Oliver gets into the bathtub.
Kat- Welcome to Interviews in the Bathtub, Oliver.
Oliver- Thanks, and may I say this is an excellent BADGER! choice of scenery.
Kat- Yes, I know. So how are you, first off all?
Oliver- Im pretty good. But I only BADGER! have a little while, I have to go to a quidditch seminar in an hour.
Kat- No issue. So, hows it been, being a worldwide celebrity and all?
Oliver- Its BADGER! got me feeling pretty good. I mean, Its got me bleeding blue and white BADGER!
Kat- I see. So will you explain to me why you don't like Savage Garden?
Oliver- Well, BADGER! they just don't mix with this BADGER!...
Kat- Wow. So I understand you have this unhealthy obsession with badgers.
Oliver- BADGER!
Kat- Well, that's totally understandable.
Percy suddenly comes in the bathroom and looks around in shock.
Percy- Oy! What in bloody hell is going on in here?!
Kat hides her mic- Nothing.
Percy- Don't tell me "nothing!"
Percy looks at Oliver
Oliver-..
Percy- Oliver! I would have expected better from you!
Oliver- Hehe.
Kat gets out of the tub.
Kat- Oh, come on, Percy. Surely some big important prefect like you would want to be interviewed in a bathtub, no?
Percy blushes- Well, I don't know..
Kat- Aw, come on, I'll bet theres a nice iron man under those robes, isnt there?
Percy giggles
Kat- Come on, you know you want to. *pokes his tummy *
Percy- Well-
Kat- *poke poke *
Percy- Okay.
Kat- Strip music!!!!!!
Percy strips down to his tightie- whities with "Ministry of Magic" on them with hearts above the I's.
The audience is silent. Someone coughs. Kat presses play on a tape recorder and applause bursts out of it. She presses stop.
Kat- Ah, very niiiiiice, Percy. Please join Oliver and me in the tub.
Kat and Percy get in the water and Percy sits by Oliver.
Kat- So, you two are friends, correct?
Oliver- badger.
Percy- Yes, weve been friends for a long time now.
Kat- I see. I have an understanding that there have been numerous slash fics about you two being a little more than friends. What do you have to say about that?
Oliver- Well, I for one BADGER! have to say that the author of these fics are BADGERS!
Percy- Well, I have no real objections. After all, who wouldn't like Oliver? He's smart, funny, sexy.
Oliver makes a face- What are you BADGER! trying to say?
Percy- Well, I guess I would just like to take this oppurtunity to say that I love Oliver. I have always loved Oliver. I will always love Oliver. I love the way he whistles while hes showering. The way he-
The crowd immediately starts pelting Percy with tomatoes.
Kat snaps and suddenly some buff looking security guard drags the unconscious Percy to the back room, leaving Kat and Oliver in the tub alone once again.
Kat- Well, now its time for..LETTERS FROM THE VIEWERS! WOOHOO!
Cheering*
Kat- This letter reads- "Dear Oliver, Whats the deal with your right eye? Its bigger than your left eye. And how come you do a little jig with your eyebrows whenever you talk? Wondering, Whitney Vanderkin"
Oliver- Well, when I was younger I had this freak pineapple incident which enabled me to have supersonic powers, therefore giving me the name "Pineapple Punch Buggie" and I just went around saving people and then one day I looked in the mirror and I was like.."Whoa.. my right eye is bigger than my left eye." And then I lost my powers and had to figure out some other way to make a living. So I taught my eyebrows to dance and joined the circus as "Eyebrow Boy" and I had amazing eyebrow-rific powers.
Crickets chirp.
Kat- Appalling. So-
Oliver- BLIMEY! BADGER!, I'm late for the BADGER! seminar!
Kat- Okay, Well let's wrap this up. It's been a pleasure, Oliver.
Oliver- It's been a BADGER! pleasure for me too!
Oliver kisses Kat on the cheek, gets out of the tub, gathers up his robes and waves goodbye to everyone.
Kat gets out of the tub and wraps a towel around her waist.
Kat- Thanks for coming everyone!
Cheering*
Kat- Oh, and one little special announcement. Next week, joining me as reporter will be..the infamous...LEE JORDAN!
Another tomato is thrown.
Kat- He will be accompanying me in the bathtub when we interview my next guest. But I cant tell you who it is. It's a secret. SHHH! Well, see you next time, I have to go use my fathers credit card! Woohoo!
Audience cheers and the cameras back up and the bathroom door closes.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
PLEEEEEAAAASE REVIEW! If you have any suggestions or want a certain person to be interviewed, please let me know and check out my other stories!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nothing is mine. Period.
Interviews in the Bathtub
Some guy says-
"Are you ready, for the 8th wonder of the world, Jeeeerrry Sppprrriiiinger?!"
The crowd cheers even louder.
"Well its too bad, because he's not here!"
Crickets chirp, and a tomato hits the side of the guy's head. The guy looks smug.
"Instead, we have... Lizzie Donna-wanna-wanna-ching-chang!"
Another tomato is thrown as an average looking woman, supposedly Lizzie Donna-wanna-wanna-ching-chang, walks out in this nifty reporter suit.
"Woo. Hoo." An audience member said.
HOLD UP! WAIT A MINUTE!
You see, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Wow. this was a major waste of my time." And you WOULD be right, if my fan fic actually did revolve around some mediocre reporter and her sense of fashion. But you are, however wrong. Because that wasn't my fan fic. This wasn't my show. That was Lizzie Donna-wanna-wanna-ching-chang's show.
THIS...is my show.
All the cameras zoom in on the prefect's bathroom door. The door opens up to a large audience clapping and cheering beside a huge tub filled to the rim with purple bubbles. The applause dies down as the spotlights zoom around and some really hot guy beside the tub says...
"WELCOME TO...KAT'S...INTERVIEWS IN THE BATHTUB!!!!!!!!!!"
The crowd, including students and professors of the school and numerous celebrities, cheer at the top of their lungs as the guy moves and reveals Kat soaking in the bathtub wearing nothing but a bikini. She smiles and says into the microphone-
Kat- Hello, everyone! I see we have a full house! I see Austin Powers.
The crowd cheers as the camera zooms in on a waving Austin Powers with crooked glasses.
Kat- I see Britney Spears snogging Austin Powers.
The crowd cheers Britney Spears stops snogging and smiles and blows a kiss to the camera.
Kat- Ah, I see the infamous commentator, Lee Jordan!
A tomato is thrown at him.
Lee- *:- (
Kat- But none of the celebrities present tonight can top the person Im interviewing in just a few short moments. It is- OLIVER WOOD!
The crowd goes crazy as the Quidditch captain to boot enters the bathroom in his Gryffindor robes. He waves and jogs over to the tub.
Kat- Cue the strip music!!!!!
Some funkadelic strip music comes on as Oliver strips down to his quidditch pattern boxers.
Whistles erupt and Oliver gets into the bathtub.
Kat- Welcome to Interviews in the Bathtub, Oliver.
Oliver- Thanks, and may I say this is an excellent BADGER! choice of scenery.
Kat- Yes, I know. So how are you, first off all?
Oliver- Im pretty good. But I only BADGER! have a little while, I have to go to a quidditch seminar in an hour.
Kat- No issue. So, hows it been, being a worldwide celebrity and all?
Oliver- Its BADGER! got me feeling pretty good. I mean, Its got me bleeding blue and white BADGER!
Kat- I see. So will you explain to me why you don't like Savage Garden?
Oliver- Well, BADGER! they just don't mix with this BADGER!...
Kat- Wow. So I understand you have this unhealthy obsession with badgers.
Oliver- BADGER!
Kat- Well, that's totally understandable.
Percy suddenly comes in the bathroom and looks around in shock.
Percy- Oy! What in bloody hell is going on in here?!
Kat hides her mic- Nothing.
Percy- Don't tell me "nothing!"
Percy looks at Oliver
Oliver-..
Percy- Oliver! I would have expected better from you!
Oliver- Hehe.
Kat gets out of the tub.
Kat- Oh, come on, Percy. Surely some big important prefect like you would want to be interviewed in a bathtub, no?
Percy blushes- Well, I don't know..
Kat- Aw, come on, I'll bet theres a nice iron man under those robes, isnt there?
Percy giggles
Kat- Come on, you know you want to. *pokes his tummy *
Percy- Well-
Kat- *poke poke *
Percy- Okay.
Kat- Strip music!!!!!!
Percy strips down to his tightie- whities with "Ministry of Magic" on them with hearts above the I's.
The audience is silent. Someone coughs. Kat presses play on a tape recorder and applause bursts out of it. She presses stop.
Kat- Ah, very niiiiiice, Percy. Please join Oliver and me in the tub.
Kat and Percy get in the water and Percy sits by Oliver.
Kat- So, you two are friends, correct?
Oliver- badger.
Percy- Yes, weve been friends for a long time now.
Kat- I see. I have an understanding that there have been numerous slash fics about you two being a little more than friends. What do you have to say about that?
Oliver- Well, I for one BADGER! have to say that the author of these fics are BADGERS!
Percy- Well, I have no real objections. After all, who wouldn't like Oliver? He's smart, funny, sexy.
Oliver makes a face- What are you BADGER! trying to say?
Percy- Well, I guess I would just like to take this oppurtunity to say that I love Oliver. I have always loved Oliver. I will always love Oliver. I love the way he whistles while hes showering. The way he-
The crowd immediately starts pelting Percy with tomatoes.
Kat snaps and suddenly some buff looking security guard drags the unconscious Percy to the back room, leaving Kat and Oliver in the tub alone once again.
Kat- Well, now its time for..LETTERS FROM THE VIEWERS! WOOHOO!
Cheering*
Kat- This letter reads- "Dear Oliver, Whats the deal with your right eye? Its bigger than your left eye. And how come you do a little jig with your eyebrows whenever you talk? Wondering, Whitney Vanderkin"
Oliver- Well, when I was younger I had this freak pineapple incident which enabled me to have supersonic powers, therefore giving me the name "Pineapple Punch Buggie" and I just went around saving people and then one day I looked in the mirror and I was like.."Whoa.. my right eye is bigger than my left eye." And then I lost my powers and had to figure out some other way to make a living. So I taught my eyebrows to dance and joined the circus as "Eyebrow Boy" and I had amazing eyebrow-rific powers.
Crickets chirp.
Kat- Appalling. So-
Oliver- BLIMEY! BADGER!, I'm late for the BADGER! seminar!
Kat- Okay, Well let's wrap this up. It's been a pleasure, Oliver.
Oliver- It's been a BADGER! pleasure for me too!
Oliver kisses Kat on the cheek, gets out of the tub, gathers up his robes and waves goodbye to everyone.
Kat gets out of the tub and wraps a towel around her waist.
Kat- Thanks for coming everyone!
Cheering*
Kat- Oh, and one little special announcement. Next week, joining me as reporter will be..the infamous...LEE JORDAN!
Another tomato is thrown.
Kat- He will be accompanying me in the bathtub when we interview my next guest. But I cant tell you who it is. It's a secret. SHHH! Well, see you next time, I have to go use my fathers credit card! Woohoo!
Audience cheers and the cameras back up and the bathroom door closes.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
PLEEEEEAAAASE REVIEW! If you have any suggestions or want a certain person to be interviewed, please let me know and check out my other stories!!!!!!!!!!!!